Along for the Ride

by Michelle M. Pillow

  ‘Little Darling Detective,’ Megan whispered. ‘That’s what he kept talking about, the city needing closure to the murders. He said I was the hero they needed.’

  ‘He never really said it, but I know he thought of that picture he took of you taking down St Claud as the pinnacle of his career. He took the job doing crime-scene photography to be closer to you. Perhaps that picture did have something to do with his initial attraction, but I never would have encouraged him if I thought he was a bad guy. He was just too shy to approach you outright at first. It’s hard for him to let people get too close.’

  ‘You never said . . .’

  ‘Why would I?’ Kat asked. ‘I shouldn’t be saying it now. I promised him I wouldn’t tell you. He didn’t want your pity, Megan. He wanted your attention. Your affection. Your love and acceptance. He wanted you to see him just as he is, not pity him because of what happened to his parents. Maybe it’s the cop thing. Maybe you make him feel safe. Or maybe it’s just that he thinks you’ll understand because of what you’ve seen. I only tell you all this now because it’s gone too far. You’ve said too much. I’m sorry, Megan, but I can’t let you hurt him any more. I understand that look on his face now and why he won’t return my phone calls. What you said devastated him.’

  ‘I didn’t know,’ Megan whispered.

  ‘Please, Megan, leave him be. If you must apologise, do it and then leave him in peace.’ A tear slipped over Kat’s face. ‘Especially if you doubt you can truly love him forever and ever, heart and soul, don’t even try it. Ryan isn’t like your cop buddies. He doesn’t hide from his emotions. He’s deep and he feels things deeply. He’s not hardened like you can be. I love you, sis, but this is one thing you’ve really messed up.’

  Megan looked at Kat, seeing the pleading in her sister’s eyes. She nodded once. The gesture was small and all she could manage. Kat was right. She’d been a bitch to Ryan and she didn’t deserve his forgiveness. Still, she owed him an apology.

  ‘I promise to let his actions guide mine,’ Megan said. ‘If he looks upset, I’ll leave. I just need to know where he lives. I need to find him.’

  The dark-red silk peasant shirt with the smocked bust fluttered against her arms as she stood outside Ryan’s apartment building. She’d borrowed the clothes from her sister. It had taken some coaxing, but Kat finally let her use them. The grey workout outfit wasn’t exactly what she wanted to be wearing when she faced Ryan. She knew by the look on Kat’s face that her sister still held a small hope that she’d work things out with Ryan, despite how Kat begged her not to hurt him again.

  Wiping her sweaty palms over her denim-covered hips, she took a step forwards. The three-storey apartment was exactly the type of place she imagined Ryan living. Old, quaint, with two trees guarding the entrance, the stone face had artistic appeal. As she stepped inside the small front lobby, the wood floors creaked. Mailboxes fitted along one side wall, leading the way to a narrow hall. In front of her was a narrow stairwell, next to a worn round table and two folding chairs. A stack of magazines had been left.

  ‘Can I help you?’ a man came from the hall, as if he’d been lurking in the shadows, watching the front door. His wrinkled face had the appearance of hard leather, the whites of his eyes were bloodshot and his short hair showed small lines where he’d combed it back. In his hands, he carried a baseball bat. Though he wasn’t threatening with it, Megan’s stomach tensed.

  Not wanting to deal with what she could only assume was a drunk, she said, ‘No, I’m just visiting a friend. Thank you anyway.’

  ‘I don’t have you on my approved list of friends,’ the man insisted, when she tried to dismiss him by walking towards the stairwell.

  Kat had told her where to find Ryan’s apartment. Unfortunately, her sister forgot about the bodyguard she’d have to get past. If she’d known, Megan would have brought her badge.

  The apartment door at the base of the stairwell opened. An elderly woman poked her head out and looked directly at Megan, clutching knitting needles in her hands like knives. Her wide eyes echoed the look of her rounded hairdo.

  ‘You,’ the woman said, her voice shaking.

  Megan glanced behind her and back. With a slight smile, she nodded once. ‘Me.’

  ‘Leave her be, William.’ The woman’s face wrinkled into a scowl and she slammed the door shut.

  ‘You can pass,’ William said, stepping back into his shadowed hall. ‘But be warned, I’m watching you.’

  Megan shook her head, musing to herself, ‘That’s some sort of a security system they have. Creaky boards, a grandma with knitting needles and the crazy guy lurking in the hallway.’

  The light from below cast her shadow along the dim walls. Each step lasted an eternity and she imagined this was how men on death row must feel, walking towards a fate that had very little chance of ending in their favour. Finally, she made the top, finding a lonely hall stretched out before her. Going to the first door on the right, she lifted her hand, hesitating before knocking softly.

  Behind her, the door opened. ‘He’s not there.’

  Megan turned at the sound. The woman was younger than Megan would have suspected by her voice. Pulling a long knitted brown jacket around her thin frame, she crossed her arms. Behind her, birds chirped noisily, the sounds varied and too numerous to count how many.

  ‘Ryan’s not home. He’s out.’

  ‘Do you know when I might expect him back?’ Megan asked.

  In a fury of movement, a grey parrot landed on the woman’s shoulder, squawking, ‘God bless you. Gesundheit.’

  ‘Hush, Bullet,’ the woman said.

  ‘Good boy, good boy,’ Bullet answered.

  ‘Yes, good boy.’ The woman scratched the parrot’s neck. ‘Ryan’s not here.’

  ‘I’ll try back later,’ Megan said.

  ‘I could give him a message when I see him,’ the woman offered. ‘Like a name.’

  ‘Detective Matthews.’ Megan did not know why she gave the formal title over her given name. Part of her hoped the woman would be intimidated by it.

  ‘Ah, you are that cop he took the picture of,’ the woman said. ‘I’ll tell him you stopped by when he gets back from his honeymoon.’

  Megan stiffened. ‘He hasn’t come back from Montana?’

  ‘Montana?’ The woman laughed. ‘No, Montana was work. He took Rosa to Europe. Do you know Rosa? They were married right here on the roof just as soon as he finished that photography assignment in Montana. A guy, Harry, from our apartment building performed the ceremony by moonlight. It was very romantic. Ryan said he never wanted to be parted from her again and proposed. Diederick who lives on the top floor went with him, as he is from Switzerland and knows the area. I believe Romania was mentioned a few times. Who knows where those lovebirds are?’

  ‘God bless you. Gesundheit.’

  ‘Is there a message?’ the woman asked, ignoring the bird. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘Huh? Fine.’ Megan turned to go. Married? Ryan was married? She studied the woman for a sign that she was lying, but what motivation would the bird lady have to lie about her neighbour getting married? Had she hurt Ryan so badly that he ran back and married on old girlfriend? Or had Megan been the other woman to his relationship? It didn’t make sense.

  Without realising she’d walked down the stairs, she glanced around to find herself in the lobby. The door opened and the old woman popped her head out. She began to close the door.

  ‘Excuse me,’ Megan said. ‘Your upstairs neighbour –’

  ‘Don’t know her,’ the old woman said. ‘Only know she rescues abandoned birds. Leave your card in her mailbox.’

  ‘No, not the lady with the birds. I mean the other neighbour, Ryan Lucas.’

  ‘Oh, Ryan? Yeah, sweet kid, both him and his new wife. If you are here for the wedding, you already missed it. They’re in Eastern Europe on their honeymoon. I think she has family there. Sweet kids.’

  ‘Oh.’ Megan glanced up the stairwell. Insid
e, her heart squeezed tightly in her chest and she felt nauseous. ‘I guess I’m too late.’

  Dazed, she walked out of the apartment into the bright sunlight. Even though it was warm, she shivered. Ryan was married? How was this possible? It had only been a little over a week. Not sure what to do, she automatically waved for a cab.

  Margie petted Bullet’s back, making kissy noises at him as she walked down to the lobby. Seeing Mrs Hartman, she asked, sounding distracted, ‘Is she gone?’

  ‘Yes.’ Mrs Hartman joined her in walking to the front window, as they watched Megan Matthews get into a cab and drive off. ‘Why do you think she came to pay our Ryan a visit?’

  ‘Whatever the reason, her being here will only cause him more hurt. I’m just glad Ryan already left with Diederick. That poor boy doesn’t need this woman toying with him any more. I know her kind. They only come back when it suits them, when their life isn’t what they want it to be. She comes so Ryan can nurse her ego and then, when she thinks something better comes along, she’ll tear his heart out again without thought.’ Margie sighed. ‘It’s a good thing you called to let me know she was here. I told her there was a wedding and that they’re gone.’

  ‘Hopefully the news will be the end of her,’ Mrs Hartman said, still looking outside, though Megan’s cab had driven off. ‘It broke my heart to watch him throw away all the pictures he took of her. It’s like a piece of him is missing.’

  ‘He handed me the box and asked me to burn them.’ Margie clucked her tongue, scratching Bullet’s neck. ‘Normally, he’s so optimistic. That one did a number on him and she’ll only do it again.’

  ‘Let’s not tell Ryan about this. It’s better if he doesn’t see her. She knows she’s lost him now. She’ll leave him be. I saw it in her face. We won’t be seeing her again.’ Mrs Hartman waved her hand towards her apartment door. ‘Bring that little guy and come have some cookies. I just baked a batch of oatmeal raisin.’

  ‘It’s a good thing Ryan has us,’ Margie said.

  ‘That’s right. We take care of our own. The boy will finally find his much deserved happiness.’

  Chapter Twelve

  The pain filtering through Megan was unbearable, not so unlike the time a bullet grazed her side, only worse because it shot through her chest and stayed. Her period stopped and yet she was still weepy, almost unable to get off her couch as she watched movie after endless movie. Nothing took her mind off Ryan for long and she was left feeling miserable and alone. A werewolf came on and she remembered how Ryan’s hair was brown like the onscreen beast. If it was a documentary on animals, she’d think of how Ryan took pictures and knew bear trivia. And if there was a love story – forget about it.

  The news of Ryan’s marriage left her stunned. Ryan and Rosa, even their names sounded cute together. She just bet they were perfect – happy, loving, making baby noises at each other with stupid little pet names like muffin-pie and sweetie-kins. Megan snorted grumpily at the thought.

  Hearing noise at her door, she glanced at it, not moving from her couch. Her doorknob jiggled and she automatically reached under her seat cushion for her gun. The familiar grip of the standard-issue 9mm handgun slid into her hand.

  ‘Megan?’ Zoe called out, coming into view as she pulled the spare set of keys from the door. Her sister’s eyes found her on the couch, glancing down at her hand. ‘Oh, please, don’t tell me you were going to shoot me. It was Kat’s idea I come over and check on you. Shoot her, not me.’

  ‘Ever hear of knocking?’ Megan pulled her hand out and shoved it under her cheek, not bothering to sit up.

  ‘Yeah, but I also know you’d have the door blockaded in about three seconds if you didn’t want me coming in.’ Zoe laughed and shut the door. ‘Good thing I did come over. You look like ass.’

  ‘Don’t come in here looking all breezy and pretty raining on my depression.’ Megan motioned over Zoe’s outfit. The pretty chartreuse and charcoal silk dress had a deep V neck, a contracted hem and half-length sleeves.

  ‘I almost didn’t believe there was cause for worry, Megs,’ Zoe said. ‘After all, men never affected you, even in high school when you caught Jake what’s-his-name cheating on you with that cheerleader.’

  Megan sighed, pushing herself up on the couch. ‘Why should I care about him? Besides, Kristy Skankyton gave him crabs.’

  ‘Skankyton?’ Zoe mused.

  ‘What? She was a skanky whore. Why do you think Jake liked her? Why do you think the whole football team liked her? All at once in the boys’ locker room?’

  ‘OK, maybe I was wrong. You seem bitter.’ Zoe walked over to the television and pushed the volume down. Then, frowning slightly as she stepped over broken DVDs on Megan’s floor, she moved to the end of the couch to sit. ‘Didn’t feel like paying the late fees?’

  ‘They pissed me off.’ Megan ran her fingers through her hair, getting them snagged in the tangled mess. ‘Stupid, unrealistic, happy couples.’

  Zoe leant over and picked up a broken half. ‘Happy? This chick dies in the end leaving the man alone and depressed.’

  ‘Really? It didn’t start that way. Huh, maybe I’ll rent that one again and fast forward to the ending.’

  ‘Ah, nice to meet you, Ms Bitterton.’ Zoe tossed the broken piece on the floor, back into the pile.

  ‘I’m not bitter. Stop saying that.’ Megan began to lift her arms in a stretch, only to frown and think better of it. Instead, she crossed them over her chest. ‘Look, if you’re all going to come over here to do the “let’s cheer up the depressed sister and make her shower and eat” bit that we did to Kat when she couldn’t work it out with Vincent, then I’m telling you now, I will shoot you all.’

  ‘Don’t make me take away your gun.’

  ‘Go ahead. I have a Glock 40 cal in the bathroom and a 9mm auto in the bedroom.’

  ‘And this is why I came alone,’ Zoe mumbled. ‘It’s a not-so-sneaky sneak attack. See, if we all came, you’d get hard-headed and resistant. This way, I can threaten to call our mother if you don’t get off your butt and into a shower. You not only look like ass, you smell like it too.’

  ‘Go to hell,’ Megan mumbled, fully intent on lying back down.

  ‘Mom will bring the tea,’ Zoe threatened, all the while smiling sweetly. ‘I’ll make sure of it.’

  Megan glared at her. ‘I hate you.’

  ‘You hate the world right now, so I won’t let that go to my head.’

  ‘I want to punch you in the head right now,’ Megan pouted, knowing full well she’d never hurt her sister.

  Zoe knew it, too. Wryly, she drawled, ‘That’s real mature.’

  Megan made a weak noise. ‘I just want to sit here.’

  ‘Wallowing in self-pity?’

  ‘You don’t understand.’

  ‘What? That you are in love? You messed up and are now feeling sorry for yourself instead of being the aggressive Megan I know and love. The Megan who goes for what she wants?’ Zoe arched a brow. ‘Mm, no, I guess I don’t understand at all.’

  ‘It’s not that simple.’ Megan took a deep breath and held it against the pain inside her.

  ‘Just apologise. Tell him how you feel.’ Zoe moved closer, running her hand over Megan’s back.

  ‘This isn’t a damn romance novel.’

  ‘Hey, you leave my slight addiction to books out of this,’ Zoe ordered.

  ‘Slight?’

  Leaning over, Zoe pinched Megan’s outer thigh. ‘Shut up! It is slight.’

  ‘Whatever.’ Megan tried to suppress her laugh.

  ‘We all saw him look at you, Megan.’ Her sister clearly wasn’t going to let her get out of the conversation.

  ‘He’s married, Zoe.’ It almost killed her to say the words out loud. It made them all the more real. ‘He came back from Montana, got married and is now on his honeymoon with his wife, Rosa.’

  ‘Rosa?’ Zoe sounded sceptical. ‘And you got this info where?’

  ‘I’m a cop.’ Megan dropped her head. �
��I know, Zoe, and it hurts. I’ve seen people who’ve gone crazy when they can’t have who they want and I never really got it before, but I do now.’

  ‘Don’t talk like that, Megs. You’re not crazy, you are in love. But you are right. Love isn’t rational, it’s not planned, it can’t be controlled or forced. It’s not even one of your mysteries to solve. It just is.’

  ‘If I wanted philosophy, I’d have asked Sasha.’ Even as she said it, Megan gave her sister a small smile. ‘If you want to make me feel better, help me come up with ways to hurt Rosa.’

  ‘All right, that’s it.’ Zoe stood up. ‘Enough. You are better than this. Get your smelly butt into the shower. I’m supposed to get you over to Kat’s for a surprise cheerup party and makeover. And, if you don’t hurry, I’ll call Mom and tell her about it.’

  Megan grumbled.

  ‘Kat bought wine.’

  She grumbled again.

  ‘And beer,’ Zoe added. ‘Lots and lots of beer.’

  ‘Fine.’ Megan made a face. ‘But no happy-couple movies.’

  ‘Only exploding bullet-flying fun,’ Zoe teased.

  ‘Promise?’ Megan gave a sheepish grin.

  ‘Yeah, yeah, promise. But, if you start scratching your crotch and belching, I’m calling Mom. This is a party with your lady sisters, not your macho cop buddies.’

  Buuuurrp!

  Kat fell over laughing as Sasha finished. Sasha just grinned. ‘I told you I learnt something in college.’

  ‘Oh, how things degenerate fast,’ Zoe moaned.

  ‘Ah, come on, Zoe, try it. You might like being vulgar,’ Kat said.

  Megan cuddled back into Kat’s white cushy couch, curled in a burgundy knit blanket. For the first time since Ryan walked away in Montana, she felt some semblance of happy. All that was missing was Ella to make the night perfect.