by Helen Black
Lilly wondered for a split second why she was discussing what had happened to Grace with this psychopath, but a part of her realised that he was less likely to kill her while he was talking, and part of her still needed to know what really had happened.
‘If you didn’t know what she’d done, why did you kill her?’ she said.
He came close enough to kiss her and she could feel his breath on her mouth.
‘I didn’t kill Grace.’
Lilly once again looked deep into his eyes, their gaze so intense they could have been lovers. She wanted to believe him, thought she did believe him.
‘So who did?’
Max jerked himself from the moment. He let go of her arms, leaned back and the connection was lost. ‘I ain’t got the faintest idea.’
‘Sure you do, Max. You say it wasn’t you and I don’t think it was Kelsey.’
He sniffed and shrugged his shoulders. ‘Could have been anyone.’
‘I think you know. It’s the other person with most to lose, the other person who wouldn’t like Gracie to tell tales.’
Max furrowed his brow as if weighing this information then shook his head. ‘Nah, it couldn’t be him.’
Lilly assumed they were talking about the man in the films. The man Grace had been scared of. The man who’d hurt Candy. The man bank-rolling the whole thing. She could see by the cheapness of Max’s shoes and the level of his addiction that he was not the driving force behind the pornography.
‘That person isn’t like you, he’s sick in the head. You just want to make a few quid but he’ll stop at nothing,’ she said.
‘That’s true, but Barrows would never have the bollocks to do something like that.’
Lilly went to speak again but Max put his hand over her mouth, a childlike gesture that reminded her of Sam.
‘Did you hear that?’ he said.
Lilly shook her head, her chest once again contracting.
They listened together. Something was scratching the door.
‘A dog,’ said Max.
With a lightness of foot that came from nowhere, Max sprang to his feet and pulled Lilly by the hair from the hallway into the bedroom.
‘Lie on the bed and say nothing.’
He pulled out his knife and went to the door. ‘One sound out of you and I’ll finish this.’
Shut in the bedroom, lying in the same spot that Grace had been butchered, Lilly was trapped. If she opened the window and screamed for help Max would kill her long before anyone on this estate glanced in her direction. Violence and screams were a way of life, part of the white noise of the estate.
She felt the pressure once again in the small of her back and could still feel the shape of the knife. It was a delusion, she knew, but no less terrifying for being all in her mind. Then she half-remembered putting something in her pocket, which was twisted beneath her and digging into her back. Lilly felt for the object hurting her spine. It wasn’t a knife but her mobile phone.
Silently, she took it in both hands and brought it to her face, kissing it like a talisman. She couldn’t risk even a whispered call, a text was her only option. She lifted her fingers to it but she was shaking so violently she dropped the phone onto the bed. Panicking that Max would return any second she placed the phone on the bed in front of her, then digit by excruciating digit she spelled out a message. When she was finished her hands trembled with such ferocity that she pushed the phone off the bed before she had pressed send.
Lilly almost cried out but bit down hard to silence herself. She could taste the blood from her tongue. She crouched at the side of the bed and patted the floor for the phone. Her fingers felt the scratch of worn nylon carpet. At last she found the familiar solidity of her lifeline and forwarded a text to the one person she knew she could trust with her life.
Jack retched into the toilet bowl. He had downed half a bottle of bourbon before midnight and spent the early hours bringing it back up.
He rinsed his mouth with a handful of tepid water and headed back to bed. Who would believe that he of all people would get himself into such a state, and over a bloody woman.
He turned his pillow and laid his cheek on the cool cotton, ignoring the beep of his phone. It was a text and it could wait.
Five minutes later, Jack cursed himself for being the sort of man who couldn’t ignore his messages even when he was dying.
AT 58 WITH M, PLEASE HELP
Jack groaned and rolled onto his back. Lilly was some piece of work. Even now, after the trauma of last night, she was working on the case with Miriam and expected his assistance. Some people just didn’t know when to stop taking the piss.
Max muttered to himself, passing his knife from one hand to the other as he came back into the bedroom. The increase in tension was palpable. A slick of sweat glistened on his top lip.
This time the voice in Lilly’s head was Miriam’s, her tone calm and lilting, like waves lapping the shore.
‘Keep him talking, girlfriend, keep him talking.’
‘Was it a dog?’ Lilly asked.
Max looked at her as if he had forgotten she was in the room and shrugged. He seemed dazed and distant, madness clouding his face.
‘I know you and Grace were friends. That she meant a lot to you,’ said Lilly.
He looked at her again as if unsure what she was doing there.
‘I think she loved you, and the only reason you had words was because she was afraid for her kids.’
Max laughed. It was high-pitched, almost a giggle, and totally inappropriate. The laugh of a madman. It frightened Lilly more than the knife.
Please hurry, Jack.
Max sat on the end of the bed, his left hand resting the blade inches from Lilly’s leg.
‘They were good kids. Always did what they was told.’
‘Did that include Kelsey?’ Lilly asked.
He raised an eyebrow. ‘She did what she had to and I loved her for it.’
‘But the other man, he didn’t love Kelsey or any of the others?’
Max grunted. ‘He don’t love nobody.’
Lilly’s eyes darted to the door, willing Jack to burst through.
‘He uses and abuses people, gets them to do what he wants them to do,’ said Lilly
‘He didn’t make me do nothing,’ said Max, his pride aglow even now.
Lilly kept her tone soothing as she tried to exonerate the monster before her, show him his way out, that none of this was his fault, that some other dude did it.
‘But none of this was your idea, I’m sure of that.’
‘He didn’t make me do nothing,’ Max repeated, as if to himself.
‘But he suggested this, didn’t he?’ Lilly opened her arms. ‘That you come and get me. You said yourself he’s too much of a coward to do it himself, so he gets someone else to do his dirty work.’
Max whipped round to face her, hatred swelling in his eyes. He grabbed a thick fistful of red hair and pressed the knife against her cheek. Lilly held her breath.
‘Nobody controls me. Not him, not Grace, not you,’ he shouted.
She felt a sting as the sharp metal pierced the top layer of her skin.
‘How do you think I got this far without a mind of my own?’
He was ranting now, the knife digging deeper and deeper into the fleshy mound of Lilly’s cheek.
She didn’t dare speak or move except to push her head into the bed away from the burn of his weapon. She felt the wet trickle of blood tickling her ear and closed her eyes.
‘What’s that?’ said Max and flailed his arms.
Lilly swallowed hard in relief and followed the arc of the knife, now above her.
‘The dog?’ she said. ‘Someone’s bound to come looking for it, you should let me go now.’
It wasn’t true, of course. Kids ran wild, unchecked, never mind dogs.
Max let out a sound so guttural he seemed more animal than man.
Lilly began to gabble. ‘I won’t tell anyone what you do. I’ll le
ave you alone.’
In one deft movement he pulled the tape still attached to his sleeve and pressed it to Lilly’s lips.
‘You talk too much,’ he said.
Again the scratching came at the door.
‘I’m gonna cut its throat,’ he said, and sprang from the bedroom.
Lilly touched her cheek and felt the skin wet and open. She heard the front door slam as Max stepped outside and knew she had only seconds to take action. Jack had let her down and she was on her own. As always.
Lilly didn’t waste time on the tape but moved to the window. Maybe she could jump. It was awkward but she pulled hard at the frame. It was locked, the key hidden goodness knew where. Lilly looked around the room for something to smash the glass but the room was almost bare. She threw open the tiny wardrobe and snatched at a flimsy shirt. If she wound it around her hands she could break the window with her fists. With the lavender cotton acting as little more protection than a lace glove she readied herself to punch the glass, but as she pulled back her fists she looked out of the window. What was she thinking? Even if she smashed it there was a three-storey drop straight onto the concrete pavement below.
She darted instead to the bedroom door and opened it as steadily as possible. From there she could see down the hall to the front door. The dark figure of Max stood in front, visible but distorted through the frosted glass, his arms flailing in agitation over the poor dog that had inadvertently strayed onto the walkway and into this insanity. She heard barking and snarling, which could as easily have come from Max as the dog.
She fell to her knees and crawled on her belly down the hall, away from the bedroom and into the kitchen. Max was outside, only feet away, so she kept her body pressed tightly to the wall.
Outside the howls turned to whines and Lilly imagined the dog bleeding to death, its life pumping out of it onto the walkway. She wondered how it would feel, that descent into darkness. Would she know she was dying?
When Max rattled a key in the lock Lilly knew she had to act. Using her elbows as leverage, she jumped onto the work surface and made for the window. As she heard Max’s footsteps padding down the hall she pushed with all her might.
‘Bitch,’ he screamed when he saw she was missing, and crashed from Grace’s room to the girls’ room, then to the sitting room and the bathroom. Glass smashed against tiles, chairs shattered against the wall, and Lilly struggled with years of gloss paint binding the frames of the kitchen window together.
Lilly heard Max approach the kitchen, his fury increasing, and knew the window was not going to open. She took a breath, as deep as a diver’s, and kicked at the glass with all her force. It cracked from top to bottom like the San Andreas Fault, like the magic mirror in Snow White. The wood splintered in a shower of off-white chippings but the window remained shut, the glass intact.
Lilly pulled back her leg for another kick when the kitchen door flung open, ripping itself from the hinges. Max stood in the gap, howling like a wolf.
A moment passed, no more than a heartbeat, but time seemed to stand still. Max fell silent and stared at Lilly up on the counter. Her leg stopped in mid kick and she stared back.
When he spoke his voice was as clear as water. ‘I’m going to kill you.’
He leaped towards her, his arms grasping the air as she scrambled backwards along the counter, falling into the sink.
Then boom. Another door flew off its hinges. This time the front door. It landed, together with Jack, in a pile of shards. Max instinctively turned to the noise and Lilly immediately knew what to do. She reached along the windowsill and snatched the nearest hard object. Before Max could look back at her she swung it above her head, and with every bit of strength left in her arms she brought it crashing down on his skull. Max fell to the floor. Lilly looked first at his head, split above his ear, and then to the plant pot in her hand. She wiped off his blood and read the words ‘To the world’s best Mum’.
Jack helped her down to the floor with one hand and removed the tape from her mouth with his other. Lilly rubbed her torn lips. ‘What kept you?’
‘Is he dead?’ Lilly asked the paramedic who was cleaning her cheek.
‘Just resting,’ he said. ‘You’re going to need a stitch in this. Do you want us to take you back with us?’
Lilly shook her head. She didn’t think she could move from her spot at the top of the stairwell. ‘I’ll make my own way, thanks.’
She watched Jack on the street below, moving a handful of onlookers back so that the ambulance could get on its way. He climbed the stairs towards her and she tried to smile but it hurt too much.
When he came closer she noticed his pallor. ‘You look like hell.’
‘You’re none too radiant yourself,’ he said.
‘I’ve been kidnapped and held at knifepoint, what’s your excuse?’
‘I hit the bottle and spent the night wondering what to do with my life.’
‘Come to any conclusions?’
‘None whatsoever.’
‘Ouch.’
A burly nurse pulled the suture tight.
‘Nearly finished,’ she said, and dug the needle once again into the soft flesh.
Lilly closed her eyes and winced. What sort of train track was being laid?
‘My God, it’s the bride of Frankenstein.’ Miriam poked her head around the cubicle curtain. The nurse tutted at her audience but didn’t ask Miriam to leave.
At last she cut the thread and held up a mirror for Lilly to see. Although the skin was slightly raised, Lilly had to admit it was a very neat job. The nurse’s sausage fingers had been unexpectedly deft.
‘Wow,’ said Lilly, ‘you should have been around when I gave birth to my son.’
The nurse wrinkled her nose. ‘I prefer to stay at the North Pole.’
The three women laughed.
* * *
Lilly confirmed once again that she was up to date with her tetanus jabs, collected one bottle of antibiotics and another of pain relief, and signed herself out of the hospital.
‘I wouldn’t have thought your job was so dangerous,’ said the nurse.
‘I’m getting a new one,’ Lilly replied. ‘Knife-thrower’s assistant.’
The nurse gave a half-smile and went back to her needlework. Lilly headed out of the ward but took a right turn before the exit.
Jack was leaning against the vending machine at the hospital entrance, his arms crossed high on his chest. He didn’t look at Lilly but fished deep into his pocket and pulled out a handful of coins, which she grabbed like a grateful addict. She fed the machine and a Kit-Kat took its dive to freedom, followed closely by a Mint Aero and some Milky Way Magic Stars.
‘For Sam,’ she muttered through a mouthful of chocolate, and made her way out.
Lilly was surprised to find it was still broad daylight. Somehow she thought the day had long since passed. Funny how major things can happen in such a short space of time. Earthquakes, plane crashes, murders, they all passed in minutes, less time than it took someone to wash their hair.
A brisk wind was gaining momentum. Lilly let the chill dance around her.
‘What happened, Lilly?’ asked Miriam.
‘We don’t need to talk about this now,’ said Jack.
His tone was gruff, his body stiff. Clearly, he had not forgotten the letter.
Lilly wanted to speak but found she had nothing to say. She turned away and shivered.
From behind, Lilly felt the weight of Jack’s jacket being placed over her shoulders. She pulled it around her, grateful for the comfort of Jack’s familiar smell as much as its warmth. ‘It’s fine. I don’t really know what happened. I arrived at Parkgate and he must have been waiting for me there, but I didn’t see him until he put a knife in my back.’
‘Jesus,’ Jack muttered under his breath.
Lilly put her hand on his arm with the lightest of touches. He tried to force a smile and she left her hand there. ‘He tied me up and took me to number 58.’
‘What did he want?’ asked Miriam.
Lilly paused. What did he want? ‘He’d made a connection in his mind between me and Grace and kept saying we’d both tried to get in his way.’
Miriam opened her eyes wide. ‘Do you think he killed Grace, after all?’
‘He couldn’t have,’ said Jack. ‘He has an alibi.’
‘He could have got someone else to do it,’ said Miriam.
Lilly opened the second bar of chocolate and popped half into her mouth. ‘I don’t think he had anything to do with it. He was genuinely shocked when I told him Grace had been to see her MP.’
She took a last bite and screwed the wrapper into a ball. ‘Could you give me a lift to Lancasters?’ she asked Jack.
‘The pub?’
‘Mmm,’ Lilly said. ‘I’ve a meeting with counsel and the shrink in there, and I’m late.’
Jack shook his head, but it was in resignation not refusal. ‘You should rest.’
‘I will.’
Jez and Sheba were settled at what had become their usual table. Unlike Lilly they seemed well at home in the smart surroundings, smoking Marlboro Lights and sharing jokes.
That morning Lilly had planned that this would be their last meeting, on this case at least, but now all thoughts of pulling out of the case were abandoned. For the first time in weeks she felt like her mother’s daughter. She had seen off an armed attacker with a strength, both physical and mental, that had surprised her. It had been a glimpse of her inner resources, which she was sure could be further mined to help Kelsey. And there was something else, something tugging in her mind. Something she couldn’t put her finger on.
When he saw her in the doorway Jez waved, his eyes cheery, but then looked puzzled at the sight of Miriam and Jack. When she got closer and he could see the fresh dressing on her cheek and her limp, he frowned in what Lilly took to be concern. She couldn’t help feeling a little buzz at the thought that he might have feelings for her, however minuscule. All this power had definitely gone to her head.
‘Something tells me there’s been a development,’ he said.