She circled her arms around him. “If you say so.”
“I do.”
“Okay.” She exhaled, and her chest swelled under him.
“And my other secret is my dad’s dying, and I don’t care. Thomas is a monster, not a good man, and I could probably save him, but I don’t think I want to.”
She made no move, not a sound, and he knew . . .
She wanted to run. Run from him.
Chapter 7
Adam’s leg jerked in bed, and he tossed over onto his side. He fell asleep quickly and breathed deep, his dream taking hold of him nearly right away.
“Where is my stupid lab coat?” Adam mumbled several foul words as he ransacked the closet at work. That was all he could recall. Yes, somehow his coat was missing. “I need that thing.”
He hated that this one he was wearing was kind of tight and the pockets smaller. It was a loaner for a reason. No one wanted this crap jacket.
He stomped his foot, dropped his head back and counted the dots on the ceiling tiles.
No one liked counting dots. Not even him, but this was absurd. No one had seen his white coat.
He pulled his phone out of his jacket and called the one person that could make him feel better.
“What up, bro?”
Adam fought off a grin, but barely. “I still can’t find my lab coat.”
“So what? I’ll buy you one if you’ll quit pissing about it like a bitch out of tampons.” Zach snorted.
“What does menstrual bleeding have to do with this?” Adam scratched his neck and kept counting.
“It means you’re being a cheap-ass pussy, is what it means. Hell, I can’t afford to buy it, but it’s worth skipping out on beer if it means you’ll quit complaining about it.” Zach chuckled.
Adam could hear Jill in the background, laughing at something.
“How are things besides missing your high heels and matching pearl earrings that go with said missing coat?”
Adam’s head dropped down. Someone waved to him through the glass windows of the office he was in.
“Fine, fine.”
“Oh man . . . I know what this means.” Zach’s voice was taunting.
“What? I haven’t said anything.” Adam took a seat in his dad’s chair.
Zach blew out. “You knocked her up again, didn’t you?”
“What? Why would you think that?” Adam slumped over on the desk.
“Because the only time you get this worked up over little things is because you know she’s gonna be pregnant, and it’s your fault for being a pervy dick.”
Adam banged his forehead on the desk a few times. “She might be, but that’s not why . . .”
“Then what the fuck, man? I told you to start beating off more and come game with me online. It’s how we dudes relax when we’re stressed out. Or at least that’s how we dudes do it when there’s no beer around.”
“I don’t drink beer. It’s disgusting.” Adam wrinkled his nose, and his tongue poked out.
Zach laughed. “I know—you have no room for it. Too much soda.”
“I like soda.” Adam’s throat closed up at the mere thought of it. He wanted one right now.
“I know you do. The whole freaking world knows how you feel about it.” He heard a smacking noise coming from his brother. “That’s how I started getting this small gut of mine. I keep coming over for Friday pizza night, and you toss me a soda without asking.”
Adam grunted. “You’re not required to drink it.” He sat up. “Jesus, Zach, it’s not like I force you to eat our food or drink our pop. I can’t—”
“Stop being so sensitive. I was only messing around. Well, about being forced. I like soda, too, but I’ve seriously gained like twenty pounds because of all that shit you have at your house. Lorraine never buys junk food, so I get it at your place.”
Adam closed his eyes. “Seriously? You’re blaming your lack of self-control on me? I can’t believe this.” He picked up a pen and tapped it on his chin. “I’m gonna start charging you—that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“Uh, yeah . . . About that . . .”
What just happened? Something flipped on Adam—Zach suddenly sounded so somber, and he rarely sounded that way unless something really bad had happened.
“What’s wrong? Are you ill?” Adam stood up and paced right away.
“No, no. Sit your ass down. I can already hear your feet scuffing up the carpet.”
Adam sucked in a tight wash of air. “You can’t scuff carpet. That’s virtually impossible.”
“You’d find a way. I know you would.”
Adam started to argue, but he couldn’t because out of nowhere, Zach was crying.
“What’s happening? Home invasion? Did you run over your neighbor’s dog?” Adam’s head ran through all the possible scenarios. “Oh my God! Is Lorraine pregnant?”
“Yes, but it’s not mine. She left me . . . She’s gone.”
“Wh-what? But why? You were happy together.”
Zach was silent.
“Say something!” Adam shook in his spot. “Tell me you’re breathing, at least!”
“Yeah, I just . . . Jill doesn’t know, so I’m in the other room now. She walked past my closed bedroom door. I don’t know what happened to us—but both Lorraine and I did some stupid shit, and a lot of it’s probably pretty close to unforgivable.”
“Christ, this is bad. This is worse than bad. She’s a killer woman, out to hurt you being a man. Can I buy you a soda?”
Zach laughed, but it was tight sounding. Maybe he was wearing Adam’s lab coat? It wouldn’t fit Zach.
He shook his head. Nonsense. Zach wouldn’t.
Well, not right now anyway . . .
Another day he might.
“A soda’s not going to help, but I don’t know if I can afford to live here now. She was paying half our bills. We bought this big place to make her happy. You know her standard of living is more than I ever wanted.”
Adam shrugged, even if nobody saw. “Yeah, I know. I always thought she was being sorta mean to force you into buying it. She was kind of a bully sometimes.”
“She wasn’t mean at all. I didn’t care—if it made her happy, because I felt so fucking lucky to have a woman like her.”
His dad stopped at the window, leaned forward and frowned. He waved at Adam to join him.
“What can I do to help?” Adam roamed toward the door, knowing he needed to end the call soon.
“I don’t know. But I may need to see if Mari can sometimes watch Jill so I can go apartment hunting. I probably need to find a better job, too, so I can pay for daycare and all that.”
Adam’s eyes stung and his hand trembled as he opened the door. “Anything you need, Zach. You took care of me lots—now it’s my turn to do it for you.”
“Thanks,” Zach replied. “I’ll let you get back to work.”
“Okay. Take a deep breath, get a drink and keep Jill happy. She’s important. Don’t forget that.”
His dad gave him a concerned look with his lips all mashed together and tiny.
Adam shook his hand in front of him to signal he’d be off the line in a second.
“I won’t. I know she’s what counts now.”
“And, Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“If that woman comes back, I want to know about it.”
“Why?” Zach’s voice was tighter and higher pitched.
“I just do. You’ll see why . . .” Adam ended the call.
“He told you?” His dad’s lips parted even though his jaw hardened in place.
“Yeah. I don’t like this—not one bit. She’s not like this. I mean, she’s got her temper, but she loves Jill. I don’t get it.” Adam’s insides felt all wiry and knotted up—like barbed wire had rolled around his heart to protect him from people like her.
“Who knows. I didn’t get it when your mom left either, but it happens.” His dad wrapped an arm around his shoulders and brought him into the next exa
mining room over. “She needs your help, and I’ve got another patient to see to.”
“London,” Adam said, his shoulders dropping and almost chasing after his dad.
“It hurts,” was all she said as she collapsed on the floor.
Adam raced over to her, scooped her up and yelled out for his dad to come back, but no one did.
He was all alone, and his heart was bruised already. Battered in only a few short minutes.
What the hell was going on?
Why would his dad leave him like this?
He never did this to him. Never!
“Daddy!” he screamed as loud as he could.
Still nothing.
Adam set her on the table and checked her pulse. It was weak, but it was there.
“Suck her dry,” came the reply from behind him.
But it wasn’t his father’s voice. It was a woman.
“No! No, no, no, no!” Adam slapped the table and turned to Mrs. Fahey, wearing his lab coat.
“I took it. I killed her for it. Well, really, I only did it because I knew you were naked, hard and waiting for me.” She laughed and wiped some blood off the corners of her mouth.
Tears squeezed out of his eyes. “Not you! I said that to my wife, and you are not her!”
“Ryan.”
He stared at her like she was a cactus in the middle of the jungle and did not belong here at all.
“Say it! Say my name, you fucking bastard! Say it or I’ll run over your wife and her baby inside her. I’ll squish it and suck its soul out!” Mrs. Fahey opened the coat, and she was naked inside.
Her nipples were hard and her breasts enormous. They leaked milk and her pussy leaked clear down her legs until it hit her ankles, then it turned and rushed through the air straight at him.
“No! I won’t.” He turned to cower toward a dying London behind him, but all that remained was a thin membranous sack filled with blood.
“Where did she go?” The hideous woman behind him screeched. “You have to drink now! Before it’s too late.”
“Why would I?” He crouched down, curled into a ball and waited for the numbers to come, but they never did.
All he had was his arms to cover himself with . . . because oh God no! He was naked, hard and waiting! Exactly like she’d just said he was.
“Stand up. Stand up, and I’ll share it with you since we both love destroying people.” Her feet were approaching him.
He shook his head and rocked in place in his squatting fetal position.
“I said do it!”
He whimpered the name that always helped. “Marrrrrriiiiii.”
“She’s sick of saving you. She doesn’t want this baby any more than she wants you.” She kicked his side, and he slammed into the table.
He slipped on a puddle.
Was it her juices or blood? Which would be worse?
When he opened his eyes, it wasn’t Ryan above him or London’s scary remains, it was Mari, wide eyed and whispering, “Shhhhh, honey. It’s a nightmare—that’s all. You’re in bed with me.”
“But I was naked.” His bottom lip quivered in time with his racing heartbeat.
“You still are, sweetie, but I’ve kept you warm. I was holding you. I was scared something was seriously wrong. You wouldn’t wake up.”
“I wouldn’t?” His head ached so badly his eyes leaked.
“I’m calling Amelia,” she said.
“No. Don’t bother. It’s all because of that stupid, upsetting call I had today at work with Zach. I dreamed about it, only in this one, Lorraine was pregnant with the guy she’s cheating with and left Zach for. That’s all it was.” He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Doctor Harkham can’t help me with something this trivial and stupid.” He threw his arm over his moist eyes. “No one can anyway, because I’m broken, Mari. I’m broken. I never really got fixed. I still have number episodes, and I still flip out.”
She gripped his arm and removed it off his eyes, then threw herself on top of him. “You’ve never been broken before, and you’re not now. You’re so strong.”
“I’m not!” He wanted to kick her away, but he could never.
She reached for the phone, and before he knew it she’d called Amelia.
“She’ll be over in fifteen minutes.” Mari got up and left the room.
She returned with a soda and climbed into his lap. “Hold me. It makes you feel better.”
“Because I’m a man and your husband?”
“Exactly. And you know what you are and what you need.” She batted her lashes at him, smiling with kindness in her eyes.
“To t-take care of you?” Chills raced down his spine. What if he couldn’t? What if she was pregnant and they lost everything because he couldn’t make enough money? What if he turned into Thomas and was reckless, choosing his music over medicine?
“Yes—and you do it so well. So fucking well.” The soft soles of her feet rubbed down his inner calves.
He almost purred under the feel of it.
Button stirred in his crib a few feet away. How had he not wakened when Adam was being so out of control and loud?
“You take care of all of us. It’s perfect—just what we need.” She held him tight with her arms wrapped around his shoulders.
“I love you. I love you every day, and every time I think about losing you, I want to choke on my own tears.”
“Why would you ever lose me?” Her eyes crinkled at him.
“That woman all but said it was my baby in her belly.” He tugged her in tighter and slung his arms around her ribs, squeezing the shit out of her until his breaths melded into hers.
“It’s not yours. You know that, so why is it bothering you so bad?” She stroked his chest.
“I don’t know.” His words were muffled because his lips were brushing on her neck. He wanted to bite. Jesus, did he ever, but he wouldn’t let himself do that right now. He was out of control, and he knew it.
“Hold me,” was all he could say with his breaking mind and shaky breaths.
She did. All she did was stroke and hold. Stroke and hold.
“I can’t even think about having my baby in anyone else but you, and even that terrifies me. What if I got you knocked up? Zach told me today on the phone that I probably did. And I’m not sure, but I think he might be right. I was selfish the other day, and I—”
Her lips found his, and her hands were tugging at the roots of his hair at the base of his thick skull.
“We’ll deal with it,” she whispered when she pulled away just enough to take a breath. “We will always deal with whatever comes—together. It’s what we’ve always done. It’s why we work, sweetie.”
“We work because of you. I can’t keep putting all this shit of mine on you. I’m a mess.” He whispered his lips across hers and made this pathetic wheezing, whining sound.
“You are a man. A very capable man. No more of this kind of talk. You don’t put anything on me that I don’t want, and if I didn’t have you, I’d be dealing with my own debilitating shit. How many times over the last few years did you have to wake me from nightmares?”
“I don’t know.” Thirty-seven.
“You do, too. But I’m glad you won’t tell me.”
“Thirty-seven.”
She grinned and kissed his chin. “See? You can’t hide from me or keep secrets—delicious man that you are.”
“A man . . .” He sighed the final word, and his entire body seemed to ease into her.
“Yes. A man. A man I crave and love more than anything.”
Byron wiggled in his bed and squawked a little.
“He’s hungry,” she said.
Adam gripped her by the wrists. “He is, but you know what? Those breasts are mine. But something even better belongs to me.”
“It does.”
“Say it. Say it loud enough even the baby can understand,” he said, his eyes demanding all of her.
“This heart is all yours, sweetheart. I make sure it’s yours alone.
The kids get parts of it because we both love them, but they exist because of my love for you.” She pulled her hand down with his still on her wrist and settled it on her womb. “And if there’s more to come, well, then there’s more to come. We’ll love this one, too. But this heart will still be all yours. Make sense?”
“It does. Thank you.” He smiled, and his chest loosened up quite a bit, so breathing was easier.
Byron really wiggled now, making a fuss.
She stood up and walked over to the baby. Before she even picked him up, she had her shirt up, exposing one breast and latched him on the second he was in arms.
Adam sighed. He would never get tired of watching how loving and utterly selfless she was with their kids.
She ruined him for all other women. Including curvy, nutty ones that chased him down after work.
Ugh. No!
Knock, knock, knock, knock.
“It’s Amelia.” Mari gave him a look that said he needed to accept this for his own good.
“No—it’s Dr. Harkham, and she’s going to be disappointed.” He stood up, got dressed and dragged himself out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Why did Mari have to call her?
He would have been fine. He already was. Some rocking, touching, kissing, holding by his wife, and everything was right again.
The knock sounded again.
He should’ve answered right away, but he wasn’t in the mood.
Soda was his mood, even though Mari had brought him one that he accidentally left behind in the bedroom. Oh well. He’d drink that one later.
He traipsed to the kitchen and grabbed a new soda out of the fridge, but it almost felt like it burned him when it touched his palm.
“Sffff!” He set it down in a hurry on the counter, shut the fridge door and then went after the front door before his visitor pounded a hole through it.
“I’m fine. She was worried, but it’s all good. See?” Adam ran a hand from his head to his navel in front of his body so she could inspect him.
“Doesn’t matter,” Dr. Harkham said, stepping around him.
“Why not?” He shut the door. “And come right in, because you know it’s not rude or anything to be here in the middle of the night and come inside when I didn’t say you could.”
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