He sat down and played that same song he’d played for Sarah only a few days ago. Hours before Thomas passed.
Somehow she intuitively knew he was going to die that day. She was off by a few hours, but still . . .
His arms broke into chills as he played and sang and cried.
Meg hopped up out of her seat, sat next to him and tinkered at the piano a little bit, singing, too.
She knew this song very well.
Mari got up, sat on the other side of him, and she joined in, too.
The song was almost done, but the other dozen people sitting down, all got up and surrounded the piano. They all sang or hummed along if they didn’t know the words.
Adam looked at each person in turn, and when he got to his dad, he burst into racking sobs.
His fingers kept going, but his voice couldn’t contain it.
It didn’t matter—his dad took up the slack and sang louder than anyone else.
He had an amazing voice. Dustin was the angel in the room in attendance, sending Thomas off on the wings of a dove.
It was so beautiful and otherworldly that everyone involved was crying almost as hard as Adam was.
The song ended, and everyone collapsed into each other, hugging, whispering words of praise about each other and Thomas.
“This is how it should have been for my own dad. I see that now,” Mari told him, holding him tight.
“You’re right. I’ll compose a song for Will tonight. We’ll hold a service for him soon. Just the two of us, okay?” He gave her a warm smile.
She sniffed, nodded, pulled back and gave him the same smile in return, her eyes red rimmed.
“Sounds perfect. I love you.” She kissed him and slid away.
Meg took her spot. “Daddy! I love that song. It’s a Thomas color, and he’s glad you played and sang it. He wanted me to sing, too. So I did. Did you see how I joined you? You didn’t even have to tell me to do it. I just knew.” She kissed his cheek, patted his back and hugged him tight.
“You’re the smartest ever, my little nugget.” The words just came out. He had no idea why, but it fit.
Meg giggled. She danced away from him, flinging herself at Zach. He picked her up and twirled her around.
Jill joined them, and he put her on the other hip, dancing with both of them.
They needed music, so Adam played something happy on the piano.
Before long, it turned into a celebration.
Amelia brought out some food and drinks, and they all laughed and loved together until it was time to go to the burial site with Thomas’s casket.
* * *
Zach cleared his throat in the back of the car. Amelia stayed behind with the kids, so it was all the Latham boys, Mari and Ryan who was extremely huge and pregnant.
“Sally contacted me again,” Zach said.
“What did she say?” their dad asked.
“She said Mom’s doing much better. No more marring her face with her fingernails. Her hair’s growing back in. They’re monitoring her, but she’s doing well. I got her to eat an entire meal last time I was there, and they said she’s been eating well ever since. Less screaming fits, too.” Zach cleared his throat again.
“What is it? Spit it out, Son,” their dad said.
“Well, I never quite knew where I belonged or what I wanted to do. I’m sick of being a cube monkey and working at jobs I don’t really like in stuffy old offices.” Zach fidgeted. “So, after talking more to Sally, and even to Mom, I’ve decided to go back to school to be a therapist. I want to help people like mom and even like Samara, to feel better. It seems I have a knack for it.” He got choked up. “I realized if maybe I would’ve talked to Samara forever ago when she was struggling, I would have figured out this was what I was meant to do, and I could’ve helped her like I have Mom. I just . . .” He hit the back of the seat with his fist and ground his teeth together. “I was just so damn angry, ya know?”
Adam’s head bobbed along. “It’s okay to be angry. We all were.”
“But you didn’t cower away. You visited her, and she stabbed your girl.” Zach’s voice went up in pitch.
“I wanted answers. You didn’t need any,” Adam said, excusing his brother.
“I never visited her either,” their father added. “It’s not your fault. You did what was right for you at the time.”
“But I didn’t. Not really. I knew—in my heart—I knew I needed to do something. Write her a letter. Call. Anything! But I chose not to. What kind of a brother does that?” Zach’s hand groped onto Ryan’s leg.
She stroked the back of it.
“You can’t change any of that. It’s not your job to. All you can do is keep going. It’s a lot of love in your heart making you feel bad. And that’s okay,” Adam told him.
“I guess.” Zach shrugged. “I’m glad you think so.”
“We all do,” Ryan said, smiling at him.
He smiled back at his girlfriend. “You’re amazing,” he told her.
She only beamed at him.
Well, she kissed him, but Adam wasn’t going to acknowledge that. It was rude.
Adam parked the car, but before they got out, he told them all, “Thank you for coming. I know Thomas wasn’t related to any of us, but he meant a lot to me.”
“He means a lot to all of us. We’re here for you,” Zach replied, clapping Adam on the shoulder.
They exited the vehicle, found the burial spot and a few moments later a priest blessed it.
Adam said one final thing before they lowered Thomas in, “I will never forget you and our clouds that were shaped only for us. That was our day. Yours and mine. And at that moment—you were everything to me.”
He nodded and moved out of the way.
They stood back a few feet and watched the casket lowering.
Adam cried quietly and smiled, waving.
Bye, Thomas. Fly away and be what you want to be. Find peace—like the kind you brought me.
* * *
Adam’s hand was on Mari’s tummy while she nursed Button to sleep in their bed.
“Today was a big day,” he mused.
“It was.” She hummed and tucked her leg back into his.
He turned over and spooned her from behind.
Button squirmed for a minute, readjusted and went back to feeding in peace.
“I’m glad you came with me to the burial, even though you knew it might make Button annoyed to have you gone.”
“It was important to me, too. I loved Thomas as well. Maybe not as much as you did, but I had that link from my past. We were very similar—the two of us. He was a brave, strong man. He persisted, kept trying to connect with you, even when you resisted as hard as you could. That takes some serious determination. That’s a man I can admire,” she said with a contented sigh at the end.
“He knew I was worth it,” Adam said, snuggling in closer so there was no space between them.
“He definitely knew it. Very smart man.”
He grinned. “I never thought I would say this, but it was fun becoming his son after I wasn’t. He didn’t have to be my dad since he didn’t put me in my mom’s belly, but when I asked, he accepted.” He rested his chin on the back of her shoulder. “I really liked that he did that.”
“Of course he accepted. Who wouldn’t? You’re an incredible man, Adam.”
“I am—aren’t I?” His chest lit up with unspeakable warmth.
“Very much so.”
“Mari?”
“Yeah?” She tried to strain her head to look at him over her shoulder.
He kissed her chin, then used his hand to put her head back so she wouldn’t be hurting her neck. “When I watched Zach with my mom in the mental institution, it hit me really hard all that you’ve done for me. Helping me through when I had episodes. And over the last few months I had a ton of them! I don’t know how you handled all that with the kids and me and running our home. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.”
She ch
uckled. “You make it sound like it’s all a chore.”
“Isn’t it, though? It couldn’t’ve been fun to have to talk me out of my lunacy.”
“Hey,” she growled. “Don’t ever fucking call it that. That’s not what it is to me, and you know it.”
He shook her a little with his grip.
Button whined, but as usual, just went right back to suckling.
“I know, but it’s overwhelming to think of how much you do for me. I never could’ve been this successful without you. I watched how Zach instinctively knew how to touch my mom, how to talk to her and gently lead her out of her hallucinations. It was breathtaking, actually. And then I thought of how when I have episodes, you drop everything—including the kids unless they absolutely need you—and you give me your everything. That’s huge. That’s the planets you’re giving me from your insides. From right here.” He patted her stomach, then held her tight again. “How do you do that and not feel resentful? I don't think I could do what Zach did for her once a week, let alone once a month. I sat there helpless, and you’d think with all the times you helped me, it would’ve just been natural to help her out.”
“I don’t think about it, really. I only do what I know you need. I know what’s in your heart and soul, so I dig deep and find what you need. Maybe you couldn’t do that with your mom because you don’t know her anymore.” She shrugged her top shoulder.
He nuzzled his nose into her hair. “Maybe. But that doesn’t explain how Zach was able to do it.”
She sighed and broke Button’s suction. He made a small stirring sound, then settled back down. He was already in a deep sleep.
She made sure the bed rail was solid before turning over and looking Adam in the eye. “Is something bothering you?”
“Yeah.” He itched his chin, then kissed her. “Zach’s going back to school to be in a branch of medicine.”
“I know. I think it’s wonderful he’s found his place.” She smiled.
“I do, too, only . . .” He paused. How could he tell her this? “I don’t want to be in medicine after all.”
She fell silent, and her expression went blank.
“Medicine’s not for me. I can see that now. I don’t have what my dad and Zach have. I get nervous when people want me to touch them. I don’t even really want to get to know the patients a whole lot, because it’s scary. I care about them, but I don’t want to be friends, and I should want to be all that.”
She stroked his cheek, but that was it. It was hard to gauge her reaction.
“I’m a music note, ready to explode with songs. I’m not a stethoscope, ready to examine a heartbeat. That’s not really me. That’s Dad. That’s Zach.” He placed a hand over her heart. “Do you think I’m right about this? Can you still love me if I do music and nothing else?”
“Adam . . .” She sighed softly, and her eyes were all alight. “You are the epitome of a beautiful song, wafting in the air. I’ve been waiting for you to decide this. You could have done this a long time ago, but I knew you had to find this path yourself.”
“You did?” His eyes flashed wide. “How did you know?”
“I knew you wanted to help people at your dad’s office, but you dragged your feet to accept that position. It was like you felt obligated, rather than excited. You don’t even have to think about getting revved up for your songs. They just happen. It’s instinctual. They run through your body like blood. It’s not what you do—it’s who you are, because you have a connection to the music that I’ll never have.” She leaned in and kissed the side of his mouth, then rubbed it away with the pad of her thumb.
“God help me—I love you so much, I may just have to knock you up. Zach says I should get paid for that, since I can’t seem to help myself, and I have good aim when it comes to your eggs.” He cupped her pussy and wiggled his fingers.
She squirmed and chuckled. “Zach says a lot of stupid shit.”
“I thought you liked him?”
“I do, but just because he’s gonna straighten out us crazies one at a time, doesn’t mean he’s not the biggest idiot and dorkiest brother ever.” She gripped his hardening shaft.
“Can I tell him I fucked you after we talked about what a moron he is?”
“Why would you want to tell him that?” She eyed him, her brow going up in question.
“Because—then I’ll have a good story to tell him when baby number three gets put in your belly tonight.”
He lowered his boxers and spread her legs.
This was what he was meant to do. Music, make love to his beautiful wife and appreciate his family.
That was all.
The numbers didn’t have a say anymore, so his focus was better.
And that meant he could be her lover with undivided attention.
No more of her dealing with his episodes.
No more excuses for why he couldn’t be what he wanted to be.
He was a man. Nothing else. A good, numberless man who loved his wife and kids.
He was no longer trapped in Dr. Harkham’s corner as her first case. None of that applied to him anymore.
He smiled wide.
All he needed now was a Boston creamy donut, and this man would be the happiest of all those to ever exist.
Oh well. He settled for his wife’s lips instead. They tasted just as good.
And he could always buy a donut tomorrow.
More Works from this Author
Current novels:
Sleeves (scifi erotica) http://bit.ly/SleevesErotica
Kel isn't at all the animal locked in a cage that he appears to be. Secrets keep him there, hidden from those who hunt him. But what does a man do when he needs physical contact to survive, but can't stand the burning pain that comes with another's touch? He’s found a way to get a small fraction of his needs met at the nightclub, Sleeves. What happens when he lets in an unknown woman with a healing hand? Casey can see past the vulgar mouth to the affection-starved man hiding inside. When she does, all hell breaks loose, and the past finds him. Will he be able to avoid the agency, or will they add Casey to their twisted experiments? She entered the cage with him, and now it seems there's no way out.
Slick as Ides (scifi erotica) http://bit.ly/SlickAsIdes
What happens when a germophobe, elusive computer hacking genius has to stop to fuel up her car and it’s stolen right from under her nose by a handsome vagrant? Revenge of course. Only he’s no vagrant. He’s a computer hacking genius, too, and her competition. Curses along with inhibitions—fly out the window and through the phone when he calls repeatedly to harasses her. Who will win the upper-hand, if there is such a thing, between these two stubborn, obnoxious people?
Knots (BDSM contemporary romance) http://bit.ly/KnotsNovel
Jeanie's life has been turned upside down. She's lost her husband at an early age and with him, her way. An offer from a man she's avoided, a man that was her husband’s best friend, may be the only thing that can bring light back into her life. Mark isn't like most men. His dominant nature helps him see a different side of Jeanie—a submissive woman with a deep capacity to love and please a man. But having a relationship with him so soon after her husband’s death causes strife with her in-laws—the only family she knows. Can Mark set her free, or will she walk away, missing out on the chance for an all-encompassing love?
Seducing Anne: A SHROAG Novel (scifi and historical erotica) http://bit.ly/SeducingAnne
Symptoms of time travel are never fun—ask Guy Moore. He just returned, and now he's being thrown back in time. His assignment? To impregnate Anne Boleyn. As an agent of SHROAG, he's completed more assignments than any other agent, and is ready to retire. Too bad Elizabeth I needs to be born to preserve history, and his DNA is the only one to do it. How will Guy seduce Anne, the woman who kept Henry VIII at arm's length for over seven years? And how will he keep from falling for her in his efforts?
Coming 2015
Catching Vapor: Slick as Ides Novel 2 (scifi erotica)
Book of Asa (scifi, post-apocalyptic erotica)
When the world ends, three things will continue to exist—fear, chaos and love. The order isn’t as important as how to make them work in a survival situation. Azure has no idea how to do that. He only knows he’s being hunted and sought after by two very different and equally terrifying groups—SALV and Legion. They both have an agenda, forcing Azure to hide his identity. He’s been declared the Savior of the world. Bombs have dropped and cities have been virtually flattened, leaving him with one one thing to do—run and hide. That is, until he runs into Brina. She has no idea who she is or why she’s there and has even less knowledge of the prophecy and the part she’ll play. The Book of Asa foretold their meeting and her purpose—to climb her way out of the ashes like a Phoenix being reborn with the sole purpose of protecting this Savior and restart the world at his side. Can she trust him and in this prophet’s prediction? Or will she turn him away, her survival instincts and training kicking in, to ensure her own survival? Azure’s the only one that can see who she really is, and he is soon obsessed with her. Brina’s obliviousness of the status the world has given him when they first meet, allows her to see things in him as well that no one else ever has—and that means the world to him. It makes her worth more than sacrificing himself if that’s what it requires to have her.
Harkham's Corner (Harkham's Series Book 3) Page 27