by Louise Bay
“Please don’t take Bethany away from me,” she said, her voice full of panic. “I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but I promise you, I’ll do nothing to hurt her again.”
I shook my head. “I’m not going to take her away. But she needs stability. We’ll figure out how to put her first without putting you last. Let’s agree now, in this moment, that we’ll figure out something that works for all of us.”
“Like I said, you’re the best of men, Gabriel Chase.” She took in a juddering breath. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know.” For the first time since she’d walked out on us three years ago, I felt at peace. Relieved. We weren’t going to enter some kind of hell-loop where she came and went and we were both dragged into misery. Bethany wouldn’t have to hide in cupboards, and I wouldn’t waste my life wishing reality was something it wasn’t. Penelope and I weren’t meant to be. That had nothing to do with my anger or resentment, or not giving her a second chance. And it had nothing to do with Autumn.
Forty-Three
Gabriel
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been away from Bethany overnight, but I was surprisingly relaxed about it.
“Why don’t they have these kinds of waitresses in London?” Tristan asked, glancing around at the women in white bikinis and nearly see-through cover-ups who were distributing cocktails to the patrons at the rooftop bar. It was a little weird for a five-star New York hotel, but it was hot as hell and this was America, so I wasn’t about to complain. “Alcohol tastes better when served by a woman in a bikini.”
“You’re a sexist dick at times, Tristan,” I said, kicking at his chair under the table.
“We’re in a hotel bar. Not a strip club. Don’t be a twat,” Joshua said. “Keep your eyes on New York.” The city stretched out all around us. Three hundred and sixty degrees of Manhattan. From up here we could see everything from the Chrysler building to the Brooklyn Bridge.
Dexter just shook his head. “I can’t wait for you to fall hook, line, and sinker for a girl. You’ll realize what an idiot you’ve been.”
“There’s no way I’m settling down,” Tristan replied.
“You will fall at the feet of the first woman who falls in love with you,” Joshua said. “All your chat is just that. Chat.”
“Whatever you say,” Tristan replied. “At least I actually get laid. Unlike you.”
“I have sex plenty,” Joshua replied. “But I’m not a fifteen-year-old boy so I don’t have to tell everyone about it.”
“How’s Bethany,” Dexter asked, clearly wanting to change the subject.
“I spoke to her just before I came up. She’s good. Excited that Penelope’s staying over.”
“Oh wow,” Beck said. “Penelope is looking after her?”
“The nanny’s there as well. But yeah, it’s good for the two of them to have some time together.”
“Sounds like things are still going well,” Beck said.
I blew out a breath. “So far, so good.” In many ways it would be easier if we could slip into our life before she left. Especially now when we knew each other and ourselves in a much deeper way than we had done before.
“She still want you back?” Beck asked.
I shrugged, swirling the whiskey in my glass. Penelope hadn’t said anything more since we’d had dinner together. She’d been seeing more of Bethany, but she hadn’t suggested dinner again and neither had I. “I don’t think so.”
“And you’re not interested?”
I shook my head. “She wasn’t the woman I thought I married. I’m not saying that to criticize her. It’s more a reflection of me having an image in my head of what I wanted and trying to mold everything to fit. That image is gone. And Penelope and I are Bethany’s parents, but we’re not ever going to be husband and wife again.”
“You sound okay about it,” Andrew said.
“I am. But . . .” I wasn’t a man who asked for help or advice. Tonight, I needed both. “I do have other things on my mind.”
“You need to leave your job.”
“Oh, I did that already. Just before I left for the airport.”
Dexter beckoned one of the waitresses over. “A magnum of your best champagne, please.”
“We have a double celebration on our hands,” Beck said.
I winced. Dexter might cancel the champagne if he knew what I was about to say next. “I’m also in love with Autumn.” I glanced at Dexter. “Sorry, mate.”
“Yeah, I had a feeling,” he replied. “You spoken to her?”
“Not since she left. She made me promise to give things a go with Penelope. But it’s not my wife I want. It’s Autumn. I never thought I could ever see myself trusting a woman, trusting myself to be with a woman again. Not like I had with Penelope. But I love Autumn. I trust her. I want to build a life with her.”
“You can’t help who you love,” Beck said.
“You okay with this?” I asked, looking at Dexter.
“I’m with Beck on this. I can’t speak for my future wife, but we’ll win her round. She’s very fond of you.”
“Thanks, Dexter,” I replied. “I appreciate it. I’ve got to focus on winning Autumn over first. I need something . . . big. To show her that I’m serious. She might have given up and moved on—it’s been weeks, and she was determined I should get back together with Penelope—but I’ll do what I need to do to get her back.”
“Right,” said Tristan. “The best brains in London are around this table. We can figure something out.”
“A coven emergency, as Stella would describe it,” Beck said.
“Stella thinks we’re witches?”
He shrugged. “She’s just jealous.”
“But she comes to most of our drinks nights,” Andrew said.
“I know,” said Beck. “But she’s not here tonight, so she’s jealous.”
“You should tell her that we’d prefer her company to yours any day,” Joshua said.
“I’ll make sure I pass the message on. And while we’re passing messages on, get your fucking hair cut. You look like a student.”
“I’m busy, and what can I say, Miss Tuesday Night likes something to run her fingers through.”
“Miss Tuesday Night?” Beck asked. “You don’t even have names for the women you fuck now? You’re starting to sound like Tristan.”
“Maybe I’m concealing her identity,” Joshua said.
“You’re both animals,” I said.
“I’ve got it,” Tristan said. “You go down on one knee during Dexter and Hollie’s wedding breakfast. During the speeches or something.”
“Firstly—no,” Dexter said. “And secondly, no fucking way. What are you thinking, Tristan? Sometimes I wonder how you manage to dress yourself in the morning, let alone trick people into paying you to mess about with their computers.”
“What’s your problem? Proposing in front of everyone’s a grand gesture,” Tristan said, looking genuinely confused.
“That will take the focus off the bride and groom and their wedding,” I said as if I was explaining to Bethany that she shouldn’t eat the sandwich she’d just dropped in the dirt.
Tristan shrugged. “Don’t blame me that Dexter’s a selfish narcissist who wants all the attention to himself. The brief was to think up a grand gesture to win back Autumn. I fulfilled the brief.”
“When’s she back in London?” Andrew asked. I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t know where Autumn was, who she was with, or when she was coming back.
“I guess she’s coming back for the wedding.” I glanced at Dexter.
“Yup. She’s back next Wednesday.”
My heart tumbled in my chest. In just days she’d be back in London.
“She’s coming back on Eurostar.”
That little piece of information planted a seed of an idea in my brain. “She’s in Paris now?” I asked.
“I think that’s what Hollie said.”
Paris. We should be there together. I wanted to k
iss her by the Seine. Hold her hand over moules frites. Watch her face when she saw the Venus di Milo for the first time. Plans started to form. I could go to Paris. Find her. Tell her I loved her.
“You know where she’s staying?” I asked.
“No clue,” Dexter said.
That wasn’t a dealbreaker. I could ask Hollie, or I could call Autumn and just ask her. We might not have spoken in weeks, but it wasn’t like she hated me. There’d be no reason for her not to pick up . . . unless. “She on her own?”
“I don’t know.” Dexter pulled his phone from his pocket. “Let me ask Hollie.”
Did it matter if she was on her own? It wasn’t like that was going to stop me. If she’d met someone, I’d just have to fight for her. I could do that. She might not have told me she loved me, but I knew her well enough to be confident that what we had was special. The kind of thing that wasn’t just replaced in a few weeks. She’d left for me. She’d stayed away for me. Well, I’d done as she’d asked, and I knew there wasn’t a future with me and Penelope. There was no reason for Autumn to be anywhere but by my side. “It doesn’t matter,” I said standing. “I’m going to leave you guys to it. Sorry to miss the rest of your stag do, Dexter.”
“What?” Andrew said.
“I’m going to get a flight to Paris.” I beckoned the waiter over.
“Just like that?” Tristan asked.
I nodded. “Yeah. Just like that.” I gave the waiter my card. “Put everything from tonight on here, please.”
“Sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do,” Dexter said.
“And I’ve got to go and get Autumn.”
“Good for you, mate,” Beck said. “Go for it. Keep us posted.”
Beck got it. Dexter got it. The others would someday. I didn’t want to be away from Autumn for another moment. I didn’t even want to wait until next week. I didn’t have to be back in London until the day after tomorrow. Hopefully it would be time enough to find Autumn and make her realize that I loved her, that she loved me, and that our futures were inextricably linked. There was no point in resisting it any longer.
Forty-Four
Autumn
As I stood speechless, taking in the red windmill teetering on top of the building opposite, I couldn’t help but wonder why someone before Baz Lurhmann hadn’t made a musical about the place. Paris was all crimson and bright lights and optimism against the dull, grey sky. I pulled out my guidebook, complete with color coded Post-its and dogeared pages. Paris was always meant to be the first stop on my trip, and I’d spent so much time looking forward to being here that I was kind of nervous now I had finally landed. It was like the first day of a new job or a first date with . . .
If only he was here.
Hollie had told me to fight for him, but I wasn’t sure what that meant. It didn’t feel right to stand between a man and his wife, try to separate him from the life he’d always wanted. But being without him didn’t seem right either.
What had been a bright blue sky until about five minutes ago had darkened, and as sure as night follows day, a sprinkle of drizzle began to speckle the pavement. The rain had followed me around in Europe. I pulled my tote from my shoulder and rummaged around trying to find my umbrella. But it wasn’t in there. Damn it, I’d left it on the bed in my hotel room. I shouldn’t have been so optimistic.
Never mind—it was getting late anyway, so I’d make this my final stop. I’d just wanted to see the lights of the Moulin Rouge at twilight. I zipped up my tote and straightened as the clouds above me darkened. I tipped my head back and saw not a cloud . . .
But an umbrella that someone was holding over my head.
I turned and came face-to-face with Gabriel. The man I’d thought constantly about for the last four weeks.
He grinned. “Need an umbrella?”
My heart lifted in my chest as if it was chasing the moon. “Gabriel? What are you doing here?”
“I thought I’d show you Paris. Unless you have other plans?”
I couldn’t help but grin up at him like he was my sunshine breaking through the clouds. “Where’s Bethany? Aren’t you on Dexter’s bachelor trip?” I gazed up at him and felt instantly like right here was where I was meant to be. How had I spent all these weeks away from him? I’d pushed so much aside—so much grief at having to leave him, so much love that I had for him, and now it all came crashing back in, threatening to overwhelm me. My knees weakened and I stumbled, but he caught me, his hand around my waist.
“You okay?”
Of course, I was more than okay. I was with the man I loved. “What are you doing here? How did you find me?”
“I didn’t want you to see Paris without me,” he said, like that explained everything. He hadn’t moved to take his hand from my waist, and no matter how strong or strong-willed I was, not a single thing could have caused me to step away. “And I had a feeling you’d want to come here as soon as the light started to fade. You know, because of all that Baz Luhrmann genius.”
He’d remembered. “It’s so cute, right?”
“Cute?” He shrugged. “If you say so.”
“What about Penelope? And Bethany?”
“Bethany’s fine. She’s in London. With Penelope as it happens. I did as you asked. I spent time with her.”
My stomach churned at the thought of him dating someone else, even if it was his wife. He was mine. Did he know that?
“But she’s not the woman I want. Not because I won’t give her a second chance, but because we were never right for each other. When we married, we were both hoping we could find something in each other that was missing. But that’s not the way life works.”
“But your perfect family?” As much as I wanted him, I wanted him to be happy—to get what he’d always wanted.
“There’s no such thing. I should have realized that a long time ago, rather than being bitter about mine falling apart. Being Bethany’s father should have shown me that I’m a different man to either of my parents, but it took me so long to see it. I’m not about to repeat their mistakes. I don’t need to prove that to anyone. Not even myself anymore.”
He looked peaceful. The dark circles that sometimes ghosted his eyes had lifted, and the corners of his mouth twitched as if he were trying to hold back a grin.
“I’ve missed you,” I said.
He cupped my face and gazed at me like I was treasure he’d been searching for his entire life. “I’ve missed you more than I thought possible. And I’m never going to let you go.”
Relief swept through my body. “I never want you to.”
“So, no French lover that I need to fight off?” he asked, brushing my hair from my face.
I slid my hand up his chest. “There’s never been anyone for me except you.” All those boyfriends before had been shadow boxing. I’d been waiting for Gabriel all along.
He pressed his lips against mine and my entire body sagged with relief. He was here. Kissing me. There would be no telling myself it was best for us to remain apart, or that I would be happy if he was happy. My life would be all silver linings and lemonade with Gabriel—no clouds, no lemons.
Finally, what seemed like hours later, our kiss ended. “I guess we should start your tour. I don’t want you to miss anything.”
I grinned as he took my hand and led the way. I realized this was how it was between us—him wanting to make me happy, me wanting to make him happy. It was a perfect balance.
“How did you manage to get the time off work to be here?” I asked, suddenly worried that we had to make the most of every moment rather than saunter down the street, dodging the mopeds.
“You’re taking up with an unemployed lay-about. I resigned.”
I came to an abrupt halt. “You quit? Did Mike push you over the edge?”
He shook his head. “Nope. Meeting you and then losing you made me look at my life with new eyes. I’d been working for similar reasons that I got married—to make sure I bore no resemblance to my father.
I want to hang out with Bethany more. With you. It means we can travel and—”
“I know I don’t have a job yet, Gabriel. But I want a career.”
“Right. And if you have to take an assignment somewhere else in Europe or back in the U.S., we can come with you.”
My heart threatened to explode in my chest. Could life really be this simple? This good?
“Are you not going to work?” I asked.
“I’m going to give second chances for a living. You’re a wise woman, Autumn Lumen.” His smile was infectious.
“I am?”
“The furniture. Restoring and renewing things. It makes me happy.”
Just watching his face as he talked made it obvious that his mind was set. He had been renewed by the prospect of a different life.
“That’s wonderful. And bonus for me, I get to enjoy the fruits of that labor.” I squeezed his bicep, my thoughts already spinning with images of Gabriel hard at work.
“All of me is yours,” he said, his eyes darkening. He pressed his lips to mine and pulled away abruptly. “I need to stop that. Or I’ll be dragging you back to the hotel. I promised you a tour.”
I’d be happy to skip the tour and spend the next week in bed, but Paris was calling, and we had a lifetime to be naked.
As we wandered along the Seine, the sun dimmed further and sky turned darker, the drizzle turning to huge, fat raindrops that thudded against the sidewalks, splashed onto our cheeks, and dented the surface of the river. “The rain has been following me around,” I said.
“It’s raining? Really? From where I stand, the sun is shining all over the place.”
If I didn’t already know that Gabriel Chase was the man for me, that sealed it. “Did you just quote my favorite movie at me?”
He shrugged. “What can I say? I’m so in love with you that I don’t even notice the rain.”
I wasn’t sure what I’d done to deserve Gabriel, but I was going to spend the rest of my life grateful that I’d found him.
Forty-Five