by Jaci Burton
It had been Sam who'd had to be firm but gentle with her grandmother and tell her they both loved her and it was for her safety that they were going to stay with her for the day. Grammy Claire sniffed and left the room, closing herself off in her bedroom.
Faith had told her it was going to be okay, but Sam had been devastated. If not for Faith being there, Sam didn't know how she would have gotten through the day. As a now-retired nurse, Faith had gone through this before with her geriatric patients, so Sam had leaned on her, had asked a lot of questions, and had gotten some very detailed answers. Maybe answers she hadn't wanted to hear, but she'd needed to hear them.
An hour later Grammy Claire had come out of her room, acting her usual sweet, happy self, with apparently no memory of her outbursts or forgetfulness. But Faith had told Sam that would likely happen, and would continue to happen as the disease progressed.
Faith could apparently handle this with a great amount of patience.
Sam wasn't so sure she could, but she'd prepare herself for it. She had no other choice. Whatever happened, she was going to have to be ready for it.
Later that evening, she and Faith had gotten her grandmother fed and bathed. Grammy Claire and Faith were playing cards, so Sam wanted to dash across the street and take a shower.
"Why don't you just go on home for the night, honey?" Faith asked. "I'm going to spend the night."
"You don't need to do that, Faith."
"I don't mind. Besides, Claire has the better coffeemaker. And a more comfortable guest room bed than my own."
Sam laughed. "Okay. Thank you so much for being here to help."
"She's my best friend, Samantha, and has been since her husband and mine became friends forty years ago. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her."
She hugged Faith. "We're both very lucky to have you. Call me if you need me or if anything happens?"
"Of course. But we'll be just fine. You go get some rest."
She went home and got in the shower, letting the hot water rain over her head and her body. She probably stayed in there for twenty minutes, until the water started cooling. Then she put on her pajamas, made a glass of hot tea, and grabbed her e-reader to finish the book she'd started.
Her phone pinged with a message. It was Reid.
You at home?
She typed a response.
Yes.
He replied right away with: Up for a visitor?
She smiled and sent back a reply: If you mean you, then yes. Come on over.
He texted back with: Be there in ten.
He must have been working late again. She hoped he'd eaten today. She didn't have much in the way of food, but she could always make him a turkey sandwich.
She thought about changing into regular clothes, but she was tired and he'd seen her naked multiple times. She figured he'd be fine with her pajamas.
He'd probably be fine with naked, too. That made her laugh, and God, she really needed that.
She answered the door when he rang the bell.
"Where's Not My Dog?"
"Luke stopped by the mercantile this afternoon. He had Boomer with him and was on his way to the ranch to meet Emma and the other dogs there. They were going to have dinner with Logan and Des and I knew I was going to work late again, so he took Not My Dog back with him."
"Oh. Well, I'm sorry I'll miss being able to cuddle with him."
He stepped closer and slung his arm around her waist, dragging her against him. "You can cuddle with me instead."
"You're not as hairy, but I guess you'll do."
He grinned. "Good to know I'll always be second-best to my dog."
"That's tough, isn't it?" She splayed her palms on his chest, then kissed him, needing to absorb some of his strength, the warmth and feel of his body. By the time he pulled back, she felt thoroughly kissed.
She took his hand and pulled him to the sofa. "Did you eat dinner?"
"Yes. I actually took time to grab a bite at Bert's."
"I'm glad. I was going to fix you a sandwich otherwise."
"Of course you would. Because you're always thinking about me."
If only he knew how much she thought about him. "How was your day?"
"Busy." He told her about the walk-through with three of the tenants.
"I can't believe people are going to be moving in soon. How exciting."
"Yeah, it is. How was your day? I saw your new employee running flowers out to the van. Chloe, is that her name?"
"Yes. I wasn't there today. Grammy Claire had a couple of rough episodes."
He picked up her hand. "Oh, no. What happened?"
She told him about Grammy Claire's day.
He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "That's rough on you. I'm sorry. You should have called me."
She laughed. "So you could do what? Hold my hand?"
"So I could be here for you."
She wanted him to be here for her. Every day. For the rest of their lives. But his tenure here was finished. He already had one foot back in Boston. "Faith has been a great help to me and will continue to be. I think she's hinting around at moving in. She lives in the trailer park, and I know she'd be more comfortable at Grammy Claire's. And God knows I could use the help. Plus, with her knowledge of geriatric nursing, she'd be a lifesaver. I think I'll ask her to move into Grammy Claire's house. I haven't discussed it with my grandmother yet, but I know she'll agree."
"I see. You think that's the ideal move?"
"I do. Short of me selling this house and moving in with her. Which is another option, and I may do that somewhere down the road. But I still have to work, so long-term care will be something we'll have to consider at some point."
"So you have a long-range plan."
She nodded. "I do. I've discussed it with Faith, and to some extent with my grandmother. She's put her future care into my hands, because she knows at some point she'll be incapable of making decisions. She's already given me all her power of attorney, for both medical and financial decision making."
"You don't have to do this alone, Sam."
She gave him a look. "Of course I do. There is no one else." And she'd never, ever ask him to help her. She loved him, but you didn't fall madly in love with someone, then ask them to shoulder this kind of burden. It wasn't going to happen.
So while she loved Reid, she was going to smile and wish him well and watch him go back to Boston.
She had to let him go.
Reid had the answer he'd come looking for. She wouldn't ask him to help her because she didn't care for him in the same way he cared for her.
He knew exactly what he had to do now.
"I'm heading back to Boston on Friday."
She nodded. "I figured now that the project was finished you'd be heading back home."
"Yeah, I have a lot of things back there waiting for me to handle. Things I've put off that need to be dealt with."
"Of course." She stood. "I'm glad you stopped by. I would have hated not being able to say good-bye to you."
He hadn't come here to get a good-bye, but that's what was happening. He got up, feeling the chasm between them already. He didn't know what to say, how to end this.
Hell, he didn't want to end this.
"So before you go, I have something I need to say to you."
He held his breath, waiting for her to say something, anything, that would tell him how she felt.
"Okay."
She pulled him into her arms for a hug. "I've enjoyed every minute we've spent together, Reid. I wish you a lifetime of happiness. And whenever you're in town again, come say hi, okay?"
He held tight to her, and his eyes stung. Goddammit.
Balls of steel, remember?
Yeah. Fuck that. He drew back and kissed her, needing her to know how he felt, needing to sear her, to brand her, to make her understand in that kiss exactly how much he loved her.
And when he pulled back, she blinked, and he could swear there were tears in her eyes, to
o.
"Well," she said, her voice cracking. "I have an early day tomorrow, so I should let you get home."
He nodded and she walked him to the door. She opened it, took his hand, and held it, before finally letting hers slip away.
"Good-bye, Reid."
"Bye, Sam."
He walked out, and she shut the door behind him. He didn't even turn around to look as he got in the truck and drove off.
So this is what it felt like to really love someone and lose them.
It fucking hurt like hell.
SAM SAT ON the sofa and stared at the television that she hadn't bothered to turn on. She couldn't open the book she'd picked up to read, because tears were streaming down her face.
He was gone. She'd let him go.
It had been the right thing to do.
But the right thing to do hurt so bad she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to recover from it.
She laid down on the sofa and curled up, dragging a blanket over her, and continued to stare at the dark TV.
Chapter 36
IT HAD TAKEN two weeks in Boston for Reid to wrap up his life there.
He'd let his employees know right away, then put out feelers to sell the company. In the end, Tim, his vice president, had made an offer to buy the company. He couldn't think of anyone better suited to take his company to the next level. Tim would do great things with his architectural firm, and his clients were in good hands. They settled on a price, and the paperwork and finances were rolling.
He found a Realtor and put his condo on the market, furniture included, and had made arrangements to have his things packed up and shipped to the ranch.
It had been an incredibly fast-paced two weeks, but he was used to a fast pace.
When he'd gotten back to Hope, he'd been immediately greeted by Not My Dog.
"You thought I had abandoned you, didn't you, buddy?" He ruffled Not My Dog's coat, scratched him behind the ears, and, in the end, sat on the ground while the dog climbed in his lap and licked his face.
"Face it, bud, the two of us are meant to be together."
Not My Dog stared at him.
What about Sam?
"Yeah, I know. I miss her, too." He rubbed Not My Dog's neck, then went inside to see his family.
Martha greeted him with a huge hug, as did Des, whose burgeoning belly bumped him.
"Getting out there, aren't you, mama?" he asked with a grin.
"You know it. If not for all the walks Logan makes me take around the ranch every day, I'd be sitting inside getting as big as this house."
"It's not possible for you to get that big," Logan said, shaking Reid's hand while he put his arm around Des. "You're too naturally sexy."
"Aww, thanks," Reid said. "I never knew you thought I was sexy."
Logan rolled his eyes. Des laughed.
After they all had dinner together, he and Logan shared a beer out on the front porch. Despite the fall chill, there was something renewing and fresh about sitting outside. Besides, it would never be as cold here as it was in Boston. And he had a great coat.
"Everything taken care of in Boston?" Logan asked.
"Yeah. Company is sold and is in great hands. Condo is on the market, and my Realtor texted to tell me we already have two offers with the potential for another on the way tomorrow morning, so we might get in a bidding war, which will drive up the price. I'm hoping the condo will be sold by next week."
Logan took a long swallow of beer. "That's good news. All the tenants have moved into the mercantile."
"I'm glad to hear that. Including our third-floor corner office tenant?" Reid had hated leasing that space, but he'd had no choice. An accountant leased it. And was due to move in this week. Besides, that had all been a part of his dream. A dream he no longer believed in.
"He backed out."
Reid looked over at Logan. "What? He signed the lease."
"Yeah, well, we let him unsign it. He decided to relocate to Tulsa. Something about his wife and the kids and school district and her parents insisting they live where there's some private school and hell if I know. I was only half listening. He wanted out of the lease and Luke and I said yes. So the space is yours if you want it."
"Huh."
"You want it, don't you?"
Reid looked out over the land. This had always been home. And now that he was back, it was good to know it would always be here for him.
"Yeah, I want it. I'm going to buy a plot of land south of the main highway, halfway between here and Hope."
He explained to Logan where it was.
"I've seen the for-sale sign on that acreage. Good place to build a house. I suppose you already have it drawn out."
"I might."
Logan propped his booted feet up on the porch rail. "You let Samantha Reasor know that's where you intend to live your happily-ever-after with her?"
"Not exactly."
"Why not?"
"I don't know that she feels the same way I do."
"You ever ask her?"
"Well, no."
Logan slanted a look in his direction. "What kind of a dumbass are you?"
"Now you sound like my dog."
Logan frowned. "What?"
"Never mind. I need to talk to her. Really talk to her. When I left before, it felt unfinished between us and I let it go that way. I didn't tell her how I felt because I was waiting for her to tell me how she felt."
"Only way to find out what a woman thinks is to come right out and ask her. And you've got to stop playing those kinds of games with a woman's heart. If you love her, then you've gotta tell her. Trust me, kid. I speak from experience on that one."
"Fine. I'll go talk to her."
"You do that."
Reid took a couple of long swallows of beer and sat in the blissful silence with his brother.
"Hey, Reid."
"Yeah"
"Dam glad you're home to stay."
His lips curved. "Me, too, Logan."
Chapter 37
WHY IN THE hell was everybody getting married in the fall? Didn't every bride want to get married in June or something? It was getting cooler outside. Leaves were falling. It had rained twice this week. Who in their right mind would want to get married now?
This was Sam's third wedding this month, and frankly, she was tired of all the love and happiness spreading around Hope.
She didn't feel love or happiness right now. In fact, she felt downright grumpy. Having to do wedding flowers was not improving her mood any.
But she and Chloe had spent all week preparing burgundy and yellow roses and white lilies for Shauna and Phil's wedding. She'd delivered them to the church this morning for the noon service, and she had to admit Shauna looked stunning in her gown. Sam had even gotten a little misty when Shauna teared up as Sam handed her the bouquet.
Darn those happy brides anyway.
She'd gone over to the reception hall and made sure every tabletop had flowers. Chloe had turned out to be a lifesaver. If only she wasn't always in such a good mood.
They finished decorating the hall with flowers well before the reception started, so her work for the day was done. She and Chloe headed back to the shop, and she let Chloe take off while she cleaned up. She heard the bell ring while she was in the back of the shop.
"We're closed," she hollered.
The bell rang again. With a sigh, she headed out front, skidding to a stop when she saw Reid standing on the other side of the door.
She blinked--hard--needing to make sure she hadn't imagined it.
He was still standing there, smiling and waving.
She went to the door and opened it.
"Hey," he said when he saw her.
She backed up a few steps. "What are you doing here?"
"I was at the mercantile and saw your car parked behind the van, so I thought I'd stop by."
"No, I mean what are you doing here? In Hope. You went back to Boston. Like just a couple of weeks ago."
"Oh,
that. Well, yes, I did. But now I'm back."
She was in no mood for guessing games. "I can see that. Why?"
He frowned. "Aren't you happy to see me?"
"Not particularly."
"Why not?"
Because I'm not over you yet. Because I'm still in love with you. Because seeing you again is breaking my heart. "Um . . ."
"Are you mad at me?"
"No. Yes. I don't know. No, definitely not."
He laughed.
She wagged a finger at him. "Don't you dare laugh at me, Reid McCormack."
He held up his hands. "Okay, definitely not laughing at you." He came toward her.
She backed away. "Don't."
"Samantha. Tell me what's wrong. You're upset."
"I'm not upset. I'm . . . Dammit, Reid. Why did you have to come back? I had a plan."
"A plan?"
"Yes. A plan to get over you." She turned around and walked away, going behind the counter, needing space between them. "And now you're back and you're ruining everything."
"You had a plan to get over me? Why did you need to get over me, Sam?"
She held tight to the countertop before lifting her gaze to his. "Don't make me say it."
"Is it because you might feel the same way about me as I feel about you?"
She refused to hope. "I don't know what you're talking about."
He dragged his fingers through that glorious, dark hair of his. "I should have said this a long time ago. I love you, Sam. I'm back here in Hope because I fell in love with you. Because I couldn't see my life being in Boston any longer. My life, my future, is here. In Hope. With you."
Oh, God. He'd said the words. The words she'd so wanted to hear from him, but had also been terrified to hear. Tears slid down her cheeks. "Don't say those words to me. Do you know what a mess my life is right now?"
He came around the counter and pulled her against him. "Do you think I care that your life is a mess?"
She tried to pull away from him, but he held her firmly in his embrace. "You should care. You know what's going on with my grandmother."
"Of course I know. Do you think that matters? I love you, Sam. I love everything about you. I love how you put everyone first above your own needs. I love how much you care about your grandmother. I love your grandmother. I love how you've always cared about me. I love that you love my dog."
She looked at the floor, at the big fat teardrops falling. "Don't. Don't love me."
He tipped her chin up with his fingers. "Too late. I already do. And I need you to come with me."