He turned his gaze to look at her. This was a new Kace. He looked like a man being held captive by his internal anarchy. “What it means is that I don’t want to like you. I shouldn’t want you, but every part of me wants you. I want to claim you. Make you mine. I’ve never been so damned out of whack, and that makes me hate you.”
She blinked, absorbing his words. “That made no sense. You can’t want me and hate me all at the same time. You’re sending the wrong message and it’s driving me batty.” She couldn’t think clearly. Couldn’t figure out if she wanted to cry or laugh, or both at the same time, which made her crazy. Her heart beat wildly in her chest.
“I forbid you to see Deputy Payne again!” His voice made chills race over her tingling skin.
“You forbid me? You can’t be serious. You’re out of your mind.”
“Yeah, that might be the case, but you should know that I can’t have you seeing someone right under my nose.”
With a smile, she shrugged. “Oh, and it’s okay that you’re seeing Sadie Mae? That you and her rut like rabbits and you smell like her stinky perfume for weeks. You can’t tell me who I see.”
~~**~~
She was completely right. He was losing himself and his mind at record speed. A jealous demon had crawled into him and started wreaking havoc. The first thing he needed to do was get control of himself. He didn’t want to come off as an abhorrent brute, or for her to hate him. How could he explain to her that when he saw her with another man, even the thought or idea of it filled him with a rage unlike anything he’d ever felt. He’d never felt this way over anyone but her. It was high time he realized this was his fault. He should have never let her get away fifteen years ago. When he went to New York to see her, he should have confessed his feelings instead of acting like a coward. Or when she came home for Susy’s funeral he should have offered her comfort instead of acting like an ass and running away. He’d been a dick.
Unfortunately, he reasoned with the fact that if she wouldn’t have him, he might never be happy with anyone else.
If he told her these feelings, told her how he loved and cared for her, it would be proof that he wasn’t the stupidest fucking idiot in the world of mankind.
“I have no right to you, Tyler. And if Payne is really who you want, I can’t stop that, but I don’t think you look at him the same way you look at me. I sure as hell never looked at another woman, especially not Sadie Mae, how I look at you.” His voice was full of emotion. “I need to tell you, when you came home for Susy’s funeral, I thought I’d go mad knowing you had another man with you, touching you, comforting you when it should have been me. Many times, I wanted to face you, speak to you, hell just stare at you, but every time I got close I was overcome with such strong emotion and I knew I’d want to punch that yuppie. I know that makes me sound like a beast, but I’m only this way when I think of you with another man. I’ve done a damn good job of numbing myself to you and those thoughts over the years, but I’m not doing such a good job right now.”
“Kace—”
“You have every right to hate me. I let you leave and then spent the better part of the years being angry at you, feeling sorry for myself.”
“Kace?”
“Yes?”
Her face was pale and her eyes were glossy. Would she slap him? Kiss him? Walk away and leave him heartbroken?
“What this sounds like to me is a man who doesn’t want me with another man, but never cared enough to tell me his feelings.”
He exhaled a long breath. “Tyler—”
“Don’t “Tyler” me.” Her words cut through him like a dull blade.
“You can’t tell me that it doesn’t get your panties in a bunch to think about Sadie Mae and me. Every time you mention her name you wrinkle your nose in disgust,” he pointed out proudly. Maybe he was grasping at straws. Fishing for feelings, but if she had a right to feel jealous, maybe he did too.
“My panties are not in a bunch. As far as you and Sadie Mae are concerned, all I can say is that I believe there have been a few Sadie Maes along the way. Different girl, same situation. When do you stop unzipping your jeans and finally find someone to settle down with?”
“Now ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black,” he huffed. “What’s your problem?”
“I’ve been close,” she snapped.
“With the yuppie at the funeral?” He didn’t realize how harsh his words were until his teeth hurt from clenching.
“We aren’t going to talk about him.”
“What was his name? Preston? Jan? Terence?” He laughed which eased some of his tension.
“His name was Finn and he was a good guy.”
“So then why didn’t you marry him?”
“Because he wasn’t the one for me.”
“Because he’s not me,” he said without modesty.
“Oh, watch that ego grow by the minute. Do you think everything revolves around you?” She flicked up a brow.
“When it comes to you I think it does. And maybe because I always compared every woman to you and she never came close. Admit that you’ve thought about me, about us, over the years.”
“My goodness, you really do think I’ve spent the last fifteen years pining over you like some lovesick poor girl, don’t you? That’d make you feel better, wouldn’t it? Well, let me tell you something, Kace Cade. You’re not the God of all Gods.” With each word she touched his chest with her finger.
“Tell me, Tyler,” he demanded.
“Tell you what?”
“That you’re still mine. I’ve waited so damn long. I’ll do anything. I’ll even make you my wife.”
“You want me to tell you that I’m still yours?”
“Yes.”
“If that’s your idea of a marriage proposal…” she sniffed.
“At least you didn’t say no.”
“When did you decide all this? When I was in the jail cell and you told me to go home? Or was it during our argument the other day when you told me I had no right to prance into Bohannan and make demands? Or that you were tired of babysitting me?”
He could feel that things were not heading in the right direction. Leave it to him to make a bad situation worse. That’s always been his MO. “I decided that you were mine the first time I kissed you,” he said in a low voice.
“That was a long time ago and a lot has happened.”
“Doesn’t change the facts, my dear. Sometimes a man just knows. The stars align and something takes shape that we’re not in control of. I’m done fighting it. How about you?”
“Are you trying to tell me that you felt this way before I left Bohannan? That you loved me?”
“I should have told you. Hell, I wanted to.” He scraped his palm across his jaw. “I was young and stupid.”
“You can’t do this, Kace. You can’t tell me that you had feelings for me, but you let me leave, allowing me to think that what we shared wasn’t true. I spent a long time believing that you didn’t care and that’s what propelled me to move forward, but I did a poor job of it. You don’t think my heart was hurt too? That I cried my eyes out and it was Susy and Isla who comforted me.”
Did he see tears in her eyes? Oh hell, if she cried he’d lose it.
“You wanted to leave, Tyler. You didn’t stop and ask me one time how I felt. What was I supposed to do? Convince you to not follow your dreams when I was leaving? How was I supposed to convince you to wait for me, or marry me?” She’d never understand how much control it had taken him to let her go. How difficult it was not to chase her. What could he have said? She had dreams, wanted to spread her wings. “I fucked up, but so did you.”
“No, Kace You let me leave Wyoming thinking that I was just another girl you fucked. You didn’t even flinch a muscle when I told you I was leaving.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go to New York.”
“The right thing? You could have been honest and then I could have made my decision with knowled
ge.”
“Are you saying you would have stayed?”
“I’m saying I don’t know, but now we’ll never know. It’s too late to conjure up the past. Now I want answers to my sister’s death. That’s your job.”
“I’m doing my job, but God help me you mix up my brain and I can’t even think,” he growled. “Not only do I have a dozen responsibilities, but now I have to worry about you. I have to protect you.”
“To protect me? Since when?”
“Since someone in this fucking town wants you gone.” He was feeling defensive.
“Up until a few weeks ago, you were included in that statement.”
What could he say? “You need to understand—”
“What I understand is that you believe you could storm into the restaurant and bark orders at Jake and me. Just because you don’t want another man having me? That’s insane.”
“Damn it.”
“Yes, damn it. Just so we’re clear when I left fifteen years ago maybe I’d hoped that you’d give me a reason to stay or come back. Even as I pulled away from Bohannan, I had hoped you’d stop me, but you didn’t. You told me I had your blessing.”
“Tyler, I’m a little late—”
“A little late? Try fifteen years too late. I’ve thrown myself at you a number of times since I’ve been back and it seems the only time you want me is when you think another man does. Chew on that for a while.” She reached for the handle of the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m walking home! I suddenly feel the need to get some fresh air.” she muttered, then climbed out, slamming the door behind her.
Before he could think over his actions, he jumped out of the truck and followed her, his long legs eating up the stretch of sidewalk and he caught up to her before she reached the corner of the street. “It’s going to storm.”
“I’m not a sugar cube. I won’t melt,” she shot back.
“Get in the truck. I’ll take you home.”
“Like hell you will. No way am I climbing back in there with you!” She didn’t even bother to look at him.
Reaching out, he wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her back against him, her bottom fit into the cradle of his hips. His body hardened almost instantly. He couldn’t resist the need to brush her hair with his nose, inhaling her heavenly scent. She was wearing the perfume that he bought her, and it enticed him. He kissed her neck, darting his tongue out to lick her sweet skin, moaning at the rush of emotions in him. He could feel her tremble in his arms, but her muscles relaxed. She laid her head against his shoulder.
“Come here,” the words scraped his throat as he reached for her hand and led her to stand between two buildings where no one could see them. There he pressed her up against the rough wall and pushed his body against hers. Their faces were within inches, their breath mingling.
“You can’t just walk away after what I’ve told you,” he whispered.
“How would you like me to respond? I felt rejected by you for years.” Tears filled her eyes.
“I’m an idiot. I’ll never live it down.” He exhaled roughly. “Now that you’re here, with me, I can’t let you go. Please don’t ask me to ever let you go again.”
She lifted her fists, pummeling his chest, but he didn’t feel a thing. “This is unfair. How dare you sweep in and try to steal my heart again! You don’t have a clue how much I loved you. How my heart was broken by you. I would have stayed here and given up everything if you’d asked.” Her voice shook with emotion. “Now let me go! Let me go, Kace.”
Hesitantly, he took a step back. “I’ll not give up,” he said in an unwavering voice.
She didn’t respond. She raced out of the shadows and he watched her head down the sidewalk at a fast pace. He made a promise to himself that he would have her again, and this time he’d never let her go. He’d spend the rest of his days showing her that she was his world.
~~**~~
“Your company just left.”
The woman motioned for the man to come in and she closed the door behind him. “Have you been watching me?”
“I was waiting like a good little boy.” Mansfield pulled his tie loose from his collar and snapped the silk material between his hands.
“Who was the man who had his paws all over you?”
“You’re not jealous, are you?”
He laughed. “I don’t own you. Are we alone now?” He glanced around the empty room.
“Yes.” She sashayed past him, going to the mini bar in her apartment at the back of the business. “Care for a drink?”
“Sure.” He came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her, clutching her firm double Ds in his palms. She whimpered and he growled, squeezing harder.
Dropping ice into two tumblers, she poured in some Scotch, turned and handed him one glass. “I’m glad you came. I hear that we have a problem.”
“A problem?” He snapped up a thick brow.
“That dead girl’s sister is in town, asking questions, causing a stink.”
Mansfield sipped and swallowed. “We don’t have to worry about her.”
“Yeah? Well what about that new Sheriff? I don’t want him coming here…”
Shrugging a stocky shoulder, Mansfield downed his drink and swiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “I’m not worried about him either.”
She snorted. “I hear he’s something to be concerned about. Now that you’re no longer law in these parts puts me and my girls at risk. Not to mention, if Boss—”
“Listen, darling, you don’t need to worry.” He reached for her, but she took a step aside. He blinked and went to pour himself another drink.
“I have a working business here. The last thing we need is some woman with a vengeance sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong. We’ve had that happen before and look what happened to her. I thought you said the suicide was foolproof? Apparently not. Is it true they have her diary?”
He placed his glass back onto the bar and dragged his jacket off his shoulders. “The plan was foolproof.”
“Answer me about the diary,” she seethed.
“Yes, they have her diary, but they won’t believe a junkie,” he muttered.
“No, but they might believe the bitch sister. My name could be in that diary and being that I left a statement that puts me in the hot seat. You promised me…” She rolled her eyes. “What if this Sheriff Cade starts digging deeper?”
“Stay calm, sweetheart.”
“Stay calm? Did you really just say that to me? You’ve been on the receiving end of a lot of money, not just from me to keep me safe, but others who have invested in you for protection. I have a lot to lose here. So do you.” She took a sip of her scotch, then sat her glass down and shouldered off the see-through robe. He sucked in his breath as he smoothed his gaze down the matching panties and thong. Even at her age she still had it going on.
“Are you doubting me, Ruby? I’ve followed through with everything I’ve promised. For everyone.” He reached out and touched her neck, slipping his finger downward to trace the bubbled, white scar tissue that had long healed but remained prominent. “Why would you be so loyal to someone who could do this to you?”
She laughed but it came out as an exhale of breath. “Why does it matter to you?”
“You know I care about you. Why don’t we run away from here? Start a new life? I have money saved.”
She smacked his hand away and wrinkled her nose. Suddenly she looked her age. “You can’t be serious. You and I are neck deep in this mess, Mansfield. He’d have his men hunt us down and we’d be caught before we reached the border. We know too much. He’d do to us what he’s done to many before us, like the Posey girl. We’re just the puppets in his game.”
“There you are, not trusting me again.” He snorted. “I’ll protect you.”
“Are you bullshitting me?”
“I’m tired of this life, baby. I’m tired of the shit. Don’t you want more?”
“I don’t have a bad life here, not like it was before him.” She rounded the bar and took out a mirror, a straw, and a small box.
Mansfield groaned. “Not tonight, sweetheart. Put that shit away.”
She laughed. “Just do your part in keeping the peace. Make sure this doesn’t blow up in our faces.”
He came to her, but she held up a hand and gave her head a quick shake sending long waves of wild red hair swinging around her bare shoulders. “You know what I want.” With little hesitation he dropped to his knees and she smiled. “There. That’s a good little boy.” She ran her fingers through his hair, then squeezed her hand into a fist, pulling his hair. He winced. Stepping around him, she jerked his head back and he moaned loudly. Releasing his hair, she reached for his tie on the bar, folded it over his eyes, then she unhooked a leather strap from the wall, slapping it several times against her palm. “When this is all over you’ll be begging and pleading for me.”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, queen,” he muttered.
She grinned as she moved around to face him, crushing his fingers under her stiletto. He cried out in pain and she lightened the pressure, some. “Now, I don’t want to worry about that broad any more. Got it? The worry will cause me wrinkles.”
“Yes, queen.”
“Good. Then we have an understanding.”
Chapter 15
THE THUNDER ROLLED and Tyler covered her head with the blanket as she sunk deeper into the bed. The electric had gone out an hour ago. Since she was a kid she hated thunderstorms, and what made this worse was the fact that she was alone at the rental house. Since she’d walked there after leaving Kace, she’d sworn she’d heard every creak, every crack, and every dog barking.
Claimed by the Lawman (Lawmen of Wyoming Book 4) Page 13