Irresistible Lies

  “I need you now,” he said.

  In one swift move he slid hard inside of her, making her cry out. She dug her fingers into his back and he moaned, crushing his lips against hers. He kept his rhythm steady at first, moving against her over and over and holding her so tightly she felt as if she were a part of him. She arched her back and moved with him, both of them quickly losing any semblance of control they had left. The feel of him hot and hard inside of her was sweet torture, and she needed it like a drug.

  She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him tighter, and he slid his hand behind her neck.

  “Look at me, Grace.”

  Her blood was pounding in her veins and she knew she was on the brink of something cataclysmic. His eyes were on hers, watching her with heat and intensity.

  I love you. I love you. I love you.

  To stop herself from screaming out the words, she dug her fingers harder into Jamie’s back and pulled him down into an earth-shattering kiss. He moved inside of her and she exploded into an orgasm that was so sweet it brought tears to her eyes. He met her finish with his own, grabbing her tightly and moaning into her hair.

  When their breathing finally slowed, they didn’t loosen their holds on each other. Grace kissed Jamie’s chest and was rewarded with a contented sigh.

  “What am I going to do with you, Grace?”

  “I don’t know, Jamie.”

  She felt like crying, and she hated herself for it. She was never one to get emotional after sex, but this time was different. At any second she could lose Jamie forever. He didn’t love her anymore, and he would never be able to love her after all the lies she had told him.

  They would always have a physical connection, but his heart wasn’t in it like hers was.

  Now that the anger had dissipated, she had so much she needed to say. There was so much she needed to try and make Jamie understand. If he knew that she had never meant to hurt him, that she was only trying to protect them both, maybe he would be able to forgive her and give her another chance.

  Jamie yawned and disentangled himself from her body, rolling onto his side of the tiny twin bed. He was so tall that his feet hung off the edge of the mattress and he took up more than his share of the space, but it didn’t bother her one bit. Having him there next to her made her feel safer and more comfortable than she had in years.

  “Jamie?”

  “Mhm?” He had already closed his eyes, and she remembered that he had just driven seven hours to get to her, not to mention that it was nearly 3 a.m.

  “Never mind.”

  Grace inched away from him to give him as much space as she could in the bed, but his arm came around her, pulling her close to his side.

  Her last thought before falling asleep was a prayer that this wouldn’t be the last time he held her like this.

  Chapter 20

  The morning light poured in through the thin blinds, and Grace slowly woke up and remembered where she was. It was confusing, waking up in her childhood bedroom. The pink walls were her first clue that she wasn’t in her tiny Virginia apartment anymore.

  She was wearing an oversized tee shirt, but she didn’t remember putting it on. She must have grabbed it last night, after she and Jamie had...

  Where was he, anyway?

  She looked around the room with renewed purpose, searching for clues that the night before hadn’t been a dream. She was satisfied only after finding a black duffel bag by the side of her bed. It was open and filled with clothes.

  Did that mean he was planning to stay? Surely he wouldn’t pack a bag full of clothes for just one night. She felt her hopes start to rise, but squashed them when she realized Jamie might have just stopped to see her on his way home. To get to his brewery, after all, he needed to pass by her parents’ house.

  He had probably just stopped in to see her son.

  No, his son.

  Their son. She would have to get used to thinking of Jake like that—he wasn’t just hers alone, anymore. She would need to share him, to co-parent.

  It would take time for them to work everything out. Would Jake spend summers with Jamie and the school year with her? Or would they move to live closer to him? She didn’t have any excuse not to, now that she had left her job and apartment and was temporarily living in her parents’ house. If she were going to look for a new job, it would make sense for her to look for it somewhere close to Jamie, so that he and his son could spend time together.

  She thought of living near Jamie, running into him at the grocery store and not being able to be with him or seeing the women he brought home and having to pretend it didn’t bother her.

  Maybe finding a place an hour’s drive or so away would be best.

  Grace sighed and got out of bed to find a pair of pajama pants. Things were about to change in her life, and there was no getting out of it. It was time to face the music and make better choices than she had made in the past.

  She and Jamie sure had a lot to talk about today. Where was he?

  Grace really wasn’t surprised that she had woken up alone. Jamie was angry with her, and she didn’t blame him for that. He was probably angry with himself for sleeping with her—it was surely something he hadn’t meant to do. There were a lot of emotions between them, and they had always been good at the physical stuff.

  Jamie was hurt and vulnerable and in a state of shock. He probably thought she had taken advantage of him or something.

  Not that that’s how she remembered it.

  Grace pulled open the door leading out to the hallway and peeked her head out, looking for Jamie. The coast was clear so she made her way to the pink, Paris-themed bathroom she and Caroline had decorated as young girls. This place wasn’t going to work for Jake—he hated pink. Another reason they couldn’t stay here for long.

  She quickly brushed her teeth and ran a comb through her hair, trying to make herself look decent even though she really needed a shower. That could wait until after coffee, however. She needed to get Jake ready for the day while finding a non-earth-shattering method of introducing him to his father.

  As far as Jake knew, his father was someone Grace had loved very much that ended up not being the right person for her to be with. So they had gone their separate ways.

  She knew the time would eventually come when Jake would want to know more, but she had figured she had at least a few years to come up with something. She didn’t want to lie to her son, and that’s part of the reason she had so thoroughly lost touch with Jamie. She hadn’t kept any tabs on him, not because she didn’t care or wasn’t curious, but because the more she knew, the more she would one day have to tell Jake.

  Now she would have to tell Jake that his father wanted to be a part of his life and hope that Jake was still innocent enough to accept that for an explanation. She shuddered, imagining if this had happened five years from now, when Jake would be about nine years old. He would surely be angry with Grace for keeping him from his father all those years, and she would have no defense that would hold up.

  Still in her pajamas but with fresh breath and combed hair, Grace poked her head into Jake’s room to see if he was awake. He wasn’t there, but she heard the sound of his laughter coming from downstairs.

  Bracing herself, Grace walked downstairs and into the kitchen. The scene in front of her nearly took her breath away.

  Jake, still in his pajamas, was sitting on one of the tall kitchen stools holding a mixing bowl and a dripping spoon. Jamie, dressed in gray sweatpants and a tee shirt, was flipping pancakes in the air, making a show of it while Jake laughed.

  “You have to get it really high in the air,” Jamie was saying. “That’s the trick.”

  “That one is bubbling,” Jake said, pointing to a pancake. “Flip it!”

  “I may need your help with this one, buddy. It’s pretty big.”

  “I can help,” Jake said with determination.

  Jamie guided Jake’s hand toward the spatula and together they flipped the pancake h
igh in the air. So high, in fact, that Jamie was unable to catch it, and it landed on the floor.

  Jake roared with laughter, and Jamie smiled.

  “Have you ever heard of the five-second rule? We can still eat it.”

  “I’m not eating it!”

  “You’re right,” Jamie said, picking the pancake off the ground with a laugh. “We can give that one to mommy.”

  Grace wanted to say something to announce her presence, but more than anything she wanted to watch them interact for a little longer. Seeing them side-by-side, it was impossible to deny that Jake was Jamie’s son. From their hair to their eyes, smiles and noses, they were practically clones.

  Her heart ached for the time they had lost together.

  “Mommy!” Jake caught her eye and ran over to her, his smile as wide as she had ever seen it. He wrapped his arms around her legs. “Mommy, I have a daddy!”

  She bit at her bottom lip, not knowing what to say. Obviously, Jamie had decided not to wait for her before telling Jake.

  Jamie met her eyes, and she saw the defiance there. He was waiting for her reaction, waiting to see if she would dare challenge his right to do what he had done.

  She didn’t say a word and plastered a smile on her face. “Yes, baby. You do.”

  “I’m so happy,” Jake said.

  “Me too.” She got down on her knees to give her son a hug, unable to look at Jamie any longer.

  “Now I have a daddy and a mommy. I’m so lucky.”

  Grace just held the smile, feeling Jamie’s eyes on her. “Something smells good in here. What are you making?”

  “Pancakes.” Jake broke free from her and ran back to his seat by the stove, where Jamie was waiting for him, spatula in hand. “We’re making lots and lots of pancakes. Do you want some? I already had two but I’m gonna have more.”

  “I would love some,” she said.

  Grace sat down on one of the kitchen stools and watched father and son finish the last few pancakes. They had already gotten out the plates, forks and syrup, and she couldn’t help but notice how messy the kitchen had become. She wondered how long they had been together while she was sleeping. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours, yet Jamie was already in full father mode.

  He had picked it up quickly, apparently.

  Jamie sat down next to Grace when it was time to eat. His nearness made her heart beat faster, and she wished she didn’t have to pretend that everything was okay when she had no idea where things stood between them.

  Did he regret making love to her last night? Would he leave, or would he stay a while? Did he want to be in her life, or only in Jake’s?

  The uncertainty was killing her.

  “Mommy, you haven’t eaten your pancakes.” Jake was frowning at her, pointing his fork at her full plate. “Don’t you like them?”

  “I love them,” she told him, plastering on her pretend smile. “You make wonderful pancakes, baby. I’m just not very hungry.”

  “Are you sick?”

  “No, I’m not sick.” She took a big bite of her food to appease him. “Yum, delicious.”

  Jake smiled, satisfied. “My daddy says you love his pancakes. He said we should make them special for you, because it would make you happy.”

  Jamie didn’t react, but her heart lifted. It was such a little thing, pancakes, but maybe it meant that he still cared, that he didn’t hate her. “That’s very sweet of you both.”

  Jake motioned Jamie toward him and put his lips to his father’s ear. He whispered, but Grace could still hear him.

  “Did you give her the one that fell on the floor?” he asked.

  Jamie winked at Grace, lowering his voice to a whisper, too. “No, I thought I’d be a gentleman and only serve clean pancakes.”

  “Good,” Jake said.

  Grace pretended she hadn’t heard anything.

  “So, Jamie, are you planning on staying today?” She tried to make her voice sound nonchalant. “Jake and I were just going to do some more unpacking and go pick up some groceries.”

  “Yes,” Jamie said. “I’ll be staying.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Oh.” Relief flowed through her veins. They had more time. “Well, Jake, we had better get you dressed. Have you brushed your teeth yet?”

  Jake nodded. “Yes.”

  “No, you haven’t,” Jamie said, ruffling the little boy’s hair.

  Jake giggled. “Sorry, mommy.”

  “That’s alright, but no more lying. Go upstairs and brush your teeth, okay? I’ll be up in a few minutes to check if they are done.”

  With a last look at his father, Jake ran up the stairs to do his mother’s bidding. When he was gone, the air took on a new tension.

  Grace turned to face Jamie, not knowing where to start.

  “You told him without me? Why didn’t you wait?” She didn’t mean for it to sound like an accusation, but truth be told, she was a little hurt. She would have liked to be a part of that moment, there for her son if he needed her.

  “Yes, I told him,” Jamie said. “I’m not going to apologize for it.”

  “You didn’t want me to be there?”

  “I didn’t want to waste any more time. I want to be a part of his life, Grace, and I’m going to be from this moment on.”

  Her hands were clasped tightly in front of her on the table, and he covered them with his own.

  “I want to be a father to him,” he said.

  “I understand,” she said. “Still, you could have woken me up.”

  “It was something I had to do on my own.”

  What could she say to that? She would never understand what Jamie was feeling, try as she might to put herself in his shoes. She would never know what it was like to know that you had missed out on years of your child’s life. Jamie and Jake would have to build their relationship as a father and son, and that would have to take place outside of her.

  “Was he happy when you told him?” Graced asked. “Was he confused?”

  “He was thrilled.”

  “But what did you say?”

  Jamie squeezed her hands, trying to reassure her. “I went into his room to look at him, and he must have heard the door open because he woke up. He asked me who I was, and I told him.”

  “Just like that?” If she had been there, she would have been a lot subtler about it. “You could have taken it slower.”

  “No,” he said, determination in his eyes. “I’m done taking things slow.”

  “Okay, okay. What happened next? What did he say?”

  “He didn’t say much. I told him that I had just come back into your life after spending many years away from you, and I just found out that I had a son. I told him that we were going to get to know each other, and that I would always be there for him for the rest of his life from this day forward.” Jamie smiled, and she saw for the first time how happy he was. “I told him that I love him. I told him the truth.”

  The truth. Such a simple concept, yet it had failed her for so long.

  “Then he told me he’s getting a dog,” Jamie added, eyebrow raised. “He said you promised him one.”

  She had forgotten about that. “Yeah, he was pretty upset when we left Virginia. I did sort of promise him a dog.”

  “We’ll get him a dog, then,” Jamie said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

  Grace pictured it—Jamie, Jake and a dog. A little family. Was there going to be room for her there?

  She sighed. “It seems like you handled everything well. Still, I wish you would have woken me up, so I could be a part of it.”

  Jamie grinned devilishly. “But you were sleeping so peacefully after last night, I couldn’t stand to wake you.”

  The look in his eyes sent her mind back to the night before and to the pleasure she had found in his arms. He reached out and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering on the skin of her neck.

  “Do you regret last night?” Grace asked him, needing to know the an
swer before she got lost in wanting him all over again.

  He frowned, and a voice cut him off before he could respond.

  “Mommy!” Jake was yelling down at them from the top of the staircase. “You said you were coming up here!”

  They both stood.

  “I’d better go help him,” Grace said.

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. You go get dressed.”

  She hesitated. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” He smiled. “Grace, I want to help. I told you, I’m in this.”

  “Right.”

  But what did that mean?

  She watched him head up the stairs toward their son, more confused than ever.

  Chapter 21

  Grace took a quick shower and changed into a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. It didn’t take her long at all to dress, but by the time she was finished, Jamie and Jake had already started in on a jumbo-sized jigsaw puzzle.

  They had spread themselves out on the floor of the living room and were looking for corner pieces, and Grace couldn’t help but stare at the two of them. She still couldn’t believe how perfect they were together, and how happy. The smiles on their faces were real, especially Jamie’s, and she didn’t see a trace of the Jamie who wasn’t ready to be a father. Watching them, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she had made a mistake keeping the two of them apart.

  “Mommy, do you want to help with the puzzle?” Jake asked while searching intently for something that would fit the piece he was holding.

  “Yeah, come help us, Grace,” Jamie said.

  He smiled up at her, and she didn’t need to think twice. She sat down on the floor next to them and started collecting puzzle pieces, helping Jamie covertly push toward Jake the ones he was looking for.

  Every time Jamie’s hand brushed hers he would catch her eye and smile at her, until she was certain he was doing it on purpose.