“You’ve seen the photos?”
“And the albums,” Emma said, adding a wink. “I know all your secrets.”
Carter laughed again. Then, as their gazes met, a mellow smile still tugged up one corner of his mouth. “Thanks. For listening. For letting me talk. It’s been hard, coming back. But the past few days have been…interesting. Don’t know how else to say it. Seeing Harry yesterday was tough, but somehow, not as tough as I’d imagined.”
“I’m thinking you’ve never had a chance to talk about him. Any of the people you’ve been around didn’t know him and even if they did know you lost a son, they couldn’t empathize.”
“But you can.”
“I know loss,” she said softly. “But I haven’t had to deal with what you’ve had to. I’m sure it’s been a long, hard road for you the past few years.”
Carter shook his head slowly. “When Sylvia died I thought that God gave me my quota of pain. Guess not.”
“I don’t think a God who promises us that He will always be with us is a God who doles out pain and sorrow.”
Carter shrugged at that. Then he touched her shoulder again. It was a simple graze of his hand, but it sent a tingle down her spine. “Thanks for listening and for talking. You seem to know what to say, when.”
His quiet words settled into her soul.
She waited, then unsure of what to say next, she opened the door of Nana Beck’s house. After toeing off her boots, she followed Adam’s happy chatter and the homey smell of cookies baking to the kitchen.
Adam had already pushed a chair against the counter, supervising Nana Beck removing cookies from the cookie sheet.
“Are some of them for us?” he asked, his chubby elbows planted on the counter as he watched. “Because we don’t have any cookies for our picnic, and I really like cookies.”
“Of course some of them are for you. You can’t have a picnic without cookies.” Nana turned, and her blue eyes lit up behind her glasses when she saw Carter and Emma. “So you two finally came in.”
You two. As if they were a couple.
Emma dismissed the little tingle her words gave her and beckoned to Adam. “We have to get the horses ready, mister.”
Adam glanced from Emma to Carter. “Is Mr. Carter coming with us?”
“We can’t move those cows by ourselves,” Emma said.
Adam pumped a fist in celebration. “We get to have cookies,” he announced as he scooted off the chair. Then he turned to Nana, a worried look on his face. “Do the cookies have to cool or can we take them now?”
Nana Beck held up a paper bag. “I packed some already for you guys.” She handed them to Adam. “Now you make sure they don’t get broken, or they won’t taste as good.”
“That’s silly,” Adam said. “My mommy says that if a cookie is broken, you get more to eat.”
“Are you going to be okay?” Emma asked Nana Beck as Adam opened the bag and counted the number of cookies inside.
“I’m feeling great. I had an urge to do some baking. I’ll sit down after this.” She wiped her hands on a rag, looking from Emma to Carter then to Adam. “Shannon is bringing me lunch this afternoon, so I won’t be by myself for very long.”
“Okay, then,” Emma said. “You have a good day.” She turned to Carter. “I’ll get our lunch and meet you at the corrals.”
His smile was simply to acknowledge what she said, but it still gave her spirits a peculiar quiver.
She put her hand on Adam’s head, still bent over the bag, and steered him toward the porch. As they walked to the house, her footsteps quickened and her smile grew, though she didn’t want to analyze why.
“Is there power on the line?” Emma’s voice drifted across the open field.
Carter looked down at the tester that he had just put against the electric wire he and Emma had spent an hour stringing up as a fence for the cows. “Full power,” he called back.
He gathered up the tester and put it back in his saddlebag, waiting for Emma. She got on her horse and rode toward him, glancing back now and again at the cows they had just moved.
Her hat hung from her neck by a leather strap. The wind picked up her hair, tossing it around her face. Carter smiled at how natural she looked sitting on that horse.
When they herded the cows to the other field, it was sheer pleasure to see her horse responding to her slight shifts in the saddle, her gentle touch on the reins and the nudges of her feet on her horse’s side. All smoothly done without flash or dash, as she had said earlier.
While she rode she lowered the reins, gathered her hair up and tied it back in a ponytail with a few quick twists.
Too bad. Carter liked it better when she let her hair down, when it framed her face in loose, brown waves.
He buckled up the saddlebag, trying to stifle his response to her. For the past few days he’d catch himself thinking about her. Worrying about her and her son, and what they would do once he sold the ranch. Adam so clearly loved being on the ranch. It bothered him to think of the little guy living in town.
Yesterday, after getting over seeing Harry in the video, he’d gone into town, to see Pete at the real estate office.
Things were coming together, Pete had told him. The buyer’s financing had come through, but Carter still had a few days to stop the deal. If he didn’t come into the office to sign the paper revoking the sale by the date and time set out in the agreement, then it was a done deal, Pete reminded him.
Now, standing up on the mountain, watching Emma come toward him on the horse, looking as if she belonged here, the second thoughts shadowing him were gaining substance.
She fit here. He realized that what he felt for her was deeper than mere looks. She was a devoted mother, a hard worker. A caring person. And his attraction to her increased each moment they spent together.
A tempting thought drifted on the edge of his consciousness.
What if he stayed? What if he changed his mind about selling the ranch?
He caught himself as Emma pulled up beside him.
“I think we have some very happy cows,” Emma said as she swung down from the saddle. “They should be good for a couple of weeks yet. All that rain certainly helped.”
“I can’t believe how much grass we still have up here,” Carter said, resting an arm on the pommel of his saddle. He dragged his gaze away from her, back to the cows.
Their red-brown bodies gleamed in the sun, sleek and fat, as they munched on the new grass. The calves raced around, checking out the perimeter of this new pasture. One touched the fence, let out a throaty bawl and then raced back toward its mother, the rest of the calves right behind. Carter laughed at the sight.
“That’s what the rotational grazing has done,” Emma said, threading the reins of her horse through her hand. “Next year I’d hoped to find a different way to feed the cows the hay over the winter. I’ve done some research on it—” She caught herself and looked away. “Anyhow, it was a good theory.”
“We can have our picnic here,” Adam called out from the copse of trees he’d been scouting out for the past few minutes.
“Shall we go?” Emma asked, picking up Dusty’s reins from where Adam had dropped them. Without a backward look, she led both horses away.
In a matter of minutes Emma had a blanket spread out and was handing Adam various containers.
“Is there anything I can do?” Carter asked.
“We’ve got it under control.” Emma glanced up at him then away, as if she was suddenly awkward around him. All the way up here she’d been quiet, and he wondered if he’d said too much on the porch.
He tied up the horses, and when he came back it looked as if everything was ready.
Carter sat down on the edge of the blanket, glancing from Emma to Adam. What were they waiting for?
“So. We’re here. Let’s pray,” Emma said, nudging Adam. He pulled his cowboy hat off and Carter, surprised at this little moment, followed suit.
“Thank You, Lord, for the b
eautiful sunshine and the rain,” Emma prayed. “Thank You for smoothing our path as we moved the cows. Thank You for this food and for a chance to be outside in Your amazing creation. Help us in our times of sadness and sorrow to know that You take care of us. Amen.”
Carter kept his head lowered a moment, moved by her prayer. Simple yet sincere. Comfortable even. He felt close to God as she had prayed.
“So, here are the sandwiches. I didn’t know what kind you liked, so I made a variety,” Emma was saying as she snapped the lids off containers. “There’s water in a bottle for you.”
“If you need more to drink, you can take it out of the creek,” Adam said. “But you don’t want to go where the cows go. Because that’s gross.”
“Of course it is,” Carter said with a grin, taking a sandwich out of the container. He took a bite and smiled at Emma. “Miranda had some homemade bread left?”
“Actually, I made it.”
“Really?”
“Why do you sound surprised?” An injured tone crept into her voice.
“Sorry. I assumed that you were more of an animal person than a domestic one,” Carter said, trying to back-pedal and failing miserably. Animal person? Really?
“I kept house for me and my father,” Emma replied, taking a bite out of her sandwich. “I can do domestic too.”
“It’s just you’re so good with horses and animals, I can’t see you with an apron on working in the kitchen.” He stopped there and finished off his sandwich in the awkward silence. Then he dusted off the crumbs from his shirt and heaved a sigh. “Okay, I think no matter what I do I’m going to say the wrong thing here. So why don’t I just apologize in advance and hope it covers any other dumb thing I might say for the rest of the afternoon.”
Her burst of laughter was a welcome surprise.
“It’s okay. I shouldn’t be so touchy. So I apologize too.”
“Is there a best-before date on your apology? I’m wondering if it will cover the next few weeks of dumb things Carter might say.’”
This netted him some more laughter. Which brought out a sparkle in her eyes and a flush in her cheeks.
Which made her even more attractive than before.
He turned his attention back to the lunch spread out before him.
“So Adam, what should I have next?”
Adam tapped his fingers on his chin, considering. Then he picked up another container. “My mom’s potato salad is really good.”
“Potato salad it is, cowboy.”
As they ate, any previous discomfort faded and the conversation drifted along. Adam told Carter about the tree house. Emma and Carter talked about the calf crop. The hay crop. Nana Beck’s health. Carter’s family.
Halfway through the conversation Adam moved onto his side, closed his eyes and promptly fell asleep. Emma shifted off the blanket and covered him up with the rest of it.
“He didn’t sleep well last night,” Emma said quietly, getting up. “I’d like to move away so we don’t wake him.” She walked over to a large spruce tree and sat down.
Adam snorted and Emma looked back, checking on him, but he settled down again and soon they could hear his heavy, steady breathing.
“Sorry about this,” Emma said quietly. “I knew he was tired, but he insisted on coming along. I’d kinda like to let him sleep for a bit, if that’s okay.”
Carter gave her an indulgent smile. “I don’t mind staying a while longer. I like it up here. It’s peaceful. Quiet.” And he enjoyed being with her.
Emma pushed her hair away from her face and, leaning forward, wrapped her arms around her knees. “I love it up here too. I feel like I’ve left all the troubles and worries down there. At the ranch. Up here, it’s just Adam, the horses and me trying to find the picture your Nana Beck calls The Shadow Woman.”
Carter squinted across the valley, trying to find the shadow.
“The conditions have to be right…but it looks like they are today. See that rock face?” Carter pointed across the valley to the farthest mountain. “The sheer bluff above the trees to the right of that huge cleft? The shadow is on that rock face.”
He shot her a quick glance, but she frowned and shook her head. So he moved a bit closer, pointing it out. As their shoulders touched, he caught a hint of almonds blended with the faintest scent of leather. Her hair, lifted by the wind, tickled his cheek.
He dragged his attention back to the shadow. “See those two dark holes? Those are two caves, her eyes. The rock jutting out makes her nose.”
He looked over at her again and now they were side by side, but she was still frowning. “That long shadow—that’s her hair, and then below the caves—” He leaned a bit closer, following the shadow with his forefinger, pointing it out.
“Oh. Of course. I see it now. I see it.” Emma clapped her hands in a girlish gesture. “And that’s her dress. The one that the man in the legend bought her.”
“The man she is waiting for,” Carter added.
Emma grinned, looking well satisfied with herself. “I finally found it. I’ve been looking since I came here.”
“Like I said the conditions have to be exactly right. She’s easier to see in the summer and up here, easier yet.” Carter smiled. “I used to feel sorry for her, forever waiting for her love to come back.”
“I’m glad that your family story has a happier ending.” Emma smiled and leaned back against the tree. “Though I think your Nana feels like her story won’t have a happy ending until all of her grandchildren are back. Even Shannon talks about moving away, after Arthur called off the wedding.”
“It’s been tough on her. Shannon told me every time she had to cancel some part of the wedding, she felt ashamed again.” Carter blew out a sigh, feeling a flash of sympathy for his cousin.
“I know exactly how she feels,” Emma said quietly, twisting a blade of grass around her fingers as she looked at the shadow on the mountain. “It’s not easy finding out that someone you trusted wasn’t worthy of that trust.” But before he could comment on that, she gave a light laugh. “What about the rest of the kids? Hailey, Garret, Naomi? Do you think any of them will come back again?”
Carter pursed his lips, thinking. “I know Hailey was thinking of coming back after Nana’s heart attack. To be around Nana for a while. Naomi hasn’t been able to get here yet and is feeling horrible about that. When Garret came to see Nana in the hospital, he talked about coming back to Hartley Creek for good. But we’ll see.”
“And you’re moving.” Then she waved her hand, as if to erase what she had just said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty about your plans.”
Carter paused, looking at Emma, then took a chance. “If I follow through on them.”
Emma’s eyes widened. Then she looked down, as if afraid to let Carter see what she was thinking. “What…what do you mean?” she asked, her voice quiet.
“I don’t know what I want anymore.” The words spilled out before he could stop them.
Emma’s eyes sprang to his. “What are you saying?” she asked as he moved nearer.
Then they were face-to-face, so close that their breaths mingled.
A strand of hair stuck against her mouth. Carter reached up to brush it away the same time Emma did. Their hands met, and before he realized what he was doing, Carter caught her hand in his.
He saw her swallow, look down. But she didn’t let go. Nor did she move away.
The silence surrounded them, creating a bubble of solitude. Maybe it was loneliness, maybe it was the attraction Carter felt brewing between them. Maybe it was more than that.
He dismissed his thoughts, leaned closer and their lips met. Touched. Withdrew. Then met again.
Then his arms were around her, holding her close. Hers were around him, one hand clutching the back of his neck, the other pressing against his back.
She tasted like cookie. Like sweetness. Like Emma.
He knew he should stop, yet it felt so right. As if it was the right step
in the right direction.
For the first time in years, Carter Beck felt as if he had truly come home.
Chapter Ten
Pull away. Now. Stop this before you lose yourself.
Emma let her one hand drift away from Carter’s neck to his shoulder. She gave a gentle, halfhearted push, and when Carter drew back, she felt bereft in spite of her self-talk.
Then she looked up at him, lost herself in his eyes, and this time she was the one who leaned in. Her lips brushed across his, generating a yearning that could be satisfied only with another kiss. With being held close to him.
Adam murmured, and like a splash of cold water, his presence intruded into the moment.
She pulled away, pressing her hands to her heated cheeks. What was she doing?
“I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I shouldn’t have let this happen.”
Carter put his hand under her chin and turned her face up to his. “You didn’t ‘let’ this happen,” he said. “I started it.”
“I know, but I let you…and I shouldn’t…”
She wanted to look away, but his hand still held her chin and, if she were honest, her protests were more symbolic than anything.
The past few days with Carter had been a mixture of emotions and feelings she couldn’t sort out. This kiss they shared only added to her confusion.
Then his vague comment about not knowing what he wanted? It raised a hope in her she didn’t dare latch onto.
Carter’s fingers caressed her cheek, but then, thankfully, he lowered his hand.
“Traditionally, this is where the guy apologizes for the kiss, but the only thing I should feel sorry about is that I’m not sorry.” A crooked grin followed this admission, and Emma felt her feeble resistance shift.
Emma glanced from him back to Adam, reminding herself of her priority.
“He’s still sleeping,” Carter said.
“It’s not that.” She looked down at her hands with their broken nails, her mind casting about for the right way to express her reasons. “Adam depends on me to take care of him and to provide for him. I’m the only person in his life. He doesn’t have aunts or uncles or cousins or grandparents. It’s only me. And I have to make sure that all my decisions are what’s best for him.”
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