Cailin swallowed hard, keeping her head high, leaning slightly into Logan, not so much that anyone would notice, but he knew. Her head pounded, creating a roaring in her ears. She could see Kade’s mouth moving, could see the others in her family standing tall, grief on their faces, tears staining some of their cheeks.
The other Pack members openly wept, their emotions so strong she could taste them on her tongue. She would not cry. Not then, maybe not ever again.
Kade spoke once more, and the others in the Pack howled.
She threw her head back and joined them, Logan’s howl a sweet harmony to hers—the first thing she could hear.
She could feel others’ gazes on her and Logan, but she didn’t care. Her heart hurt too much and the confusion in her mind too tangled to unravel. The reason they were all here was because of her parents. Not who was with whom. What mattered in her heart was that she and Logan shared a connection beyond mating.
They were the reasons her parents were dead. Not that she'd ever blame Logan for that.
No, the blame lay solely with her.
When the enforcers came to take her parents’ bodies—already covered in silk—she held back a shudder. She hadn’t looked down into the circle, she couldn’t. Goddess, her parents were right there…yet so far away.
So far out of reach.
Logan let go of her hand, only to wrap his arm around her side, squeezing her other hip. He didn’t pull her close, didn’t pat her and tell her everything would be okay.
He knew exactly what to do to help her.
The others started to leave, their own mourning taking place quietly and in private. Cailin followed her brothers back to Kade’s house for another meeting. Only, unlike the last time, Logan wouldn’t be leaving her side. It might be selfish, but she needed him.
As soon as they were in Kade’s living room, she knew something was coming that she wouldn’t like. From the firm set of Melanie’s mouth, she had a feeling her sister-in-law, the new Alpha female, didn’t like it either.
“The battles are on our land,” Kade said. “We need to ensure the children and submissives are safe. In doing that, I’m going to follow the plans Dad set in motion.”
Cailin frowned. She hadn’t known her father had any such plans. But she wasn’t the Heir to the Pack, so she wouldn’t have been privy to all information.
“You’re going to evacuate some of the Pack to the safe zones,” Logan said.
Kade started then narrowed his eyes. “And how would you know that?”
Cailin growled, not liking Kade’s tone. Logan squeezed her hand, and she settled. For now.
“All Packs have places set for evacuation,” Logan said calmly. Much more calm than she was. “Places that only a select few know about. The Pack isn’t safe under the wards, and Caym knows that. You’ll have to send them out in small groups.”
Kade relaxed somewhat and nodded. “Yes. Father’s enforcers…” He coughed. “I guess they’re my enforcers now.”
“You can choose your own men to join you in the future, Kade,” Jasper whispered. “Those of Father’s men who want to stay, and you get along with, will fight for you. Others will fall back and allow you to make changes. It’s the way of the Pack.”
Melanie hugged Kade’s side, and he wrapped an arm around his mate. “We can talk about that later. Like I was saying, the enforcers have started the process.” He let out a breath. “I want our mates and children to go with them.”
The response to his words was loud, clear, and vehement.
“No,” Cailin said above them all, her voice steady, dangerous.
Kade’s eyes met hers. “I want my family safe.”
“Then the children go with the submissives, maternals, and enforcers,” Cailin argued. “They’ll be safe there. But don’t send away our family. At least the adults. You can’t do that now. You all mated dominant fighters. For god’s sake, Reed married two of them.”
Hannah gave a small smile, and Cailin nodded at the earth witch who could move soil and bury her enemies quickly.
“We’re not leaving you,” Ellie whispered, her hand held tightly in Maddox’s.
“None of us are,” Bay said from her perch on Adam’s lap.
“You can’t hide us away,” Willow added in.
“We’re wolves, witches, and half demons. We’re stronger than you think,” Lexi said.
“You’ve never treated us as less before, mate of mine, don’t start now,” Melanie said from his side.
Kade lowered his head. “I just want you safe. I know you can fight. I’ve seen you all do it. This Alpha thing…I don’t know what to do.”
Cailin growled. “Yes. You. Do. You’re our Alpha, Kade Jamenson. Start acting like it.”
Logan squeezed her hand when Kade growled back.
“You need to go with the submissives at least, Cailin,” Kade said.
“Why? Because I’m all alone? Because I’m the one who doesn’t have a mate to fight alongside?”
“She’s not alone,” Logan said from beside her, and her wolf howled in triumph.
Each of her brothers growled in response, but their mates shut them up with small pinches and looks.
Cailin stood, tired of this. “I’ll help the submissives pack up and get ready to go. I know you’re sending some of your fighters with them, but it won’t be me. I’m going to find a way to kill that demon no matter what. You can’t take that away from me.” She spread her arms out to encompass the others in the room. “You can’t take that away from any of us.”
With that, she stormed out of the house, Logan on her heels. She made it all the way to Logan’s door before she thought better of it.
“Cailin, talk to me,” Logan purred from beside her as they walked into his living room.
She turned on her heel and threw up her hands. “He was going to send me away, Logan. Send me with the others where I could be safe and cosseted. Even when he would have let the other women stay, he was going to send me away because I have no one to rely on. No one to come home to and heal.
“I have no one.”
The words fell off her tongue before she could take them back, the pain in her heart spreading out, numbing her hands, making her dizzy.
“You have me, Cailin,” Logan whispered, his voice low, promising. “You’ll always have me.”
Chapter Six
Logan held back a curse at the fear in Cailin’s eyes at his words. He’d moved too fast with his declarations, but fuck, they hadn’t been moving fast enough as it was.
“Why?” she whispered. “Why am I worth it?”
He growled low and stalked toward her. Her eyes widened, and she froze. When he cupped her face, she let out a gasp but still didn’t move.
“You are worth everything and more, Cailin Jamenson. And you know that. You’re just in a dark place right now, or you wouldn’t be saying anything like that at all. Even if my wolf didn’t feel that pull toward you telling me you’re my mate, I would have found you. And you know why? Because of the way you hold yourself, the way you fight for your family, for yourself. You’re stronger than you think you are. No, that’s not right. You know exactly how strong you are. You’ve just forgotten for the moment. And with what just happened? You get a pass for this self-doubt. But in the future, I don’t want to hear you say anything derogatory or demeaning toward yourself. You got me?”
She narrowed her eyes. “You tell me I’m strong and worth it, then give me an order?”
Logan grinned, liking the fire in her eyes. “See? That’s the Cailin I know and want.”
“I can’t believe Kade wanted me away from the den and tucked away safely so quickly,” she whispered.
“Because he’s scared for everyone.” Though he’d wanted to punch the bastard for making Cailin feel like she’d be a hindrance, not an asset.
“It’s not like he hasn’t seen me fight before.”
Logan nodded. “You’re strong. And I’m going to fight at your side. Why? Because you�
�re a fucking Jamenson. A Redwood Princess. You’re stronger than most of the dominants I know. Hell, you are a dominant. I won't hold you back from your revenge or your justice. But that doesn't mean you get to go at it alone. Oh, hell no. I’ll will fight by your side, have your back. Hold the fucking bastard down while you cut his heart out. I want the warrior in front of him, not the cosseted princess others might think you are. And if your brothers weren't so shaken, broken, they'd see that too. They have seen it in the past. Just give them time.”
Her eyes went wet for a moment, and he cursed himself for making her cry. She’d had enough of that in the past forty-eight hours, and he didn’t want to be the cause of it again.
Logan brushed her cheek with his thumb and sighed. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
Cailin gave him a watery smile. “It’s okay. I think I feel comfortable enough to cry only with you anyway.”
Touched, he lowered his head, getting closer. Even when she was in her heels, she was still too short for him to touch without bending, but right then, he just needed her scent. That icy temptation of roses that washed over him and made him want to howl.
“I’m a typical guy in that I hate seeing women cry, but the idea that you can open yourself up to me and show your feelings makes me feel…needed.” He swallowed hard, not used to revealing himself just as he knew it was difficult for Cailin.
She lifted a shaky hand and cupped his jaw. He leaned into the movement, his wolf practically purring.
“Thank you.”
He turned and kissed her palm, forcing a gasp from her lips. “Thank you for letting me in.”
Logan swore the temperature in the room rose ten degrees with just the heat in her eyes, and he stepped back, knowing they both needed to calm down. Mating, marking, and throwing themselves at each other wasn’t the answer. Not yet. They’d just come back from her parents’ funeral, for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t jump her bones when she was in mourning.
“Let me feed you,” he grunted. There was a large wake going on with some of the Pack members who wanted to be part of one. He and Cailin had needed time alone for more than one reason. Others would eat with each other and mourn; he needed to feed her to keep her strength up. The thought of feeding her something he made with his own hands excited him as well as surprised him. He never knew he was such a romantic. Or a caveman. “Do you want to get out of that dress?”
He winced as she raised a brow.
“I have a pair of sweats that Lex left here that’ll fit you. Plus you can wear one of my shirts.” Yes, he liked the thought of her covered in his scent. Caveman much? “I figured you didn’t want to sit around in that dress for too long.”
Though the lace and silk thing looked hot as hell on her, he knew it would carry memories she didn’t want to deal with.
She nodded, and he went to get her the clothes. While he might have wanted to stay and watch her change, he pulled himself away, knowing they both needed space.
He didn’t know what was going on between the two of them. They’d spent months tip-toeing around each other, not acknowledging the other in terms of the mating bond, though they’d both known. He’d never pursued, instinctively knowing that, if he had, he’d lose her before he even had her.
Logan muttered to himself and his dick while he took out the makings for steak and potatoes. He knew how to cook the basics because he’d been a single man for decades before he’d been on the run with Parker and Lexi. If he hadn’t learned to cook, he’d have died of starvation long ago.
It wasn’t lost on him that he was over thirty years older than Cailin. However, they were wolves, not humans. While being a man in his sixties mating with a woman in her twenties would have been frowned on—or downright taboo—in the human world, he wasn’t human. It was normal for the age gap. In fact, every single one of the Jamensons had a larger gap in ages with their mates than he and Cailin did with each other.
Once a wolf reached majority in their early twenties, their mating instincts kicked in and a bond could be made. Sometimes it happened earlier if both partners were the same age, but that was rare.
Wolves could be near others for years, and then one day, it was like a two-by-four to the head when the mating scent washed over them, and their wolves demanded more.
He buttered and salted the potatoes before putting them in the oven to bake. They’d take a bit to cook, but he’d make a salad or something to start with. Women liked vegetables.
Jesus, he sounded like some twenty-something kid with no experience. Logan had experience, plenty.
He’d just never eaten a meal alone with Cailin before.
Never fed her food he’d made and sat closed up in a room saturated with her scent. Sure, she’d fed him soup when he was healing from an attack when he was out alone with North, and he and Cailin had eaten many meals in the company of others.
But this time was different.
His wolf loved it.
He got the other things ready for dinner, then stood in his kitchen sipping on his beer while he waited for Cailin to come back. She took her time and he knew she needed to.
He scented her before he heard her. Like a true warrior, her steps were quiet, almost silent. He didn’t think she did it on purpose; it was just her nature.
His wolf approved.
Not that he’d ever tell her that. She didn’t need his approval—something, on a better day, she’d understand. When she padded next to him, her bare feet on his tile floor, he turned to her, lifting his arm so she could snuggle close.
She leaned into him, burrowing herself into his side. Logan held her close, craving the intimacy of these small touches. They stood there for a few moments before he pulled away to bring the meat to the grill.
“Salads okay to start with?” he asked as Cailin stood in the center of the room, looking somewhat lost, but gaining that strength he so admired second by second.
“That sounds great. Let me help.”
He nodded, knowing she needed to do something with her hands. “You can make the salad. Everything is in the fridge. I like anything, so put whatever you want on it. The steaks will take only a little bit to cook since I know we both like them bloody.” He grinned, and Cailin rolled her eyes.
What could he say? They were wolves.
“The potatoes should take another ten minutes or so. You want sautéed mushrooms for your steak?”
Cailin closed her eyes and moaned. He had to shift his stance at the sound, his cock pressing against his zipper.
Fuck, he couldn’t wait to peel her out of those clothes and taste every inch of her. To kiss, touch, and caress until she was panting underneath him, begging him to fill that greedy pussy with his cock.
Her eyes darkened, and her throat worked as she smiled. “Go cook your…meat. I’ll take care of the salad.”
Logan barked a laugh. “I’ll keep my meat to myself and off the grill.”
“Gah, that was a horrible joke.”
He shrugged, heading to the porch but leaving the door open so he could hear her. “Give me time, I’ll make a better penis joke. Maybe even a boob one if I get in the mood.”
“I thought you were telling crappy jokes to keep us out of the mood while we ate.”
He closed his eyes and counted to ten. Nope, his cock wasn’t listening. It wanted her. Now.
“Woman, you’re one taunt away from me bending you over counter and fucking you hard.”
He didn’t hear her, but he scented her arousal. As soon as the sweet scent hit his nostrils, he knew tonight would be the night he had her beneath him.
Logan wouldn’t mate her tonight though.
He couldn’t.
Not fully.
There were two parts to mating—the wolf and the man. Tonight, when they made love, he’d come inside her, filling her up. That would start the mating process and bond the human part of themselves tentatively. Then, when it was time, they’d each mark the other with their fangs on the fleshy part where the shoulder
met the neck.
That would connect their wolves and the mating bond would snap into place. Once mated, they’d connect on a soul level, gaining a new strength and warmth from a place he’d only dreamed about. He honestly couldn’t wait but knew he would have to in order to ensure his Cailin was taken care of.
Even if in the process, it hurt them both.
He wouldn’t complete the mating until he knew for a fact she was here for him and wouldn’t regret it. He would give her the comfort she needed tonight and take the touches his own wolf needed. The touches he was sure her wolf craved as well. Then, if she still wanted him, he’d complete the mating the next time.
He wouldn’t have her resenting him for mating with her so soon after the tragedy.
They were both worth so much more than that.
Once he pulled the steak off the grill and potatoes out of the oven, they ate at his table, sitting side by side. She leaned into him as they ate, and he pressed closer. She didn’t cling—that wasn’t her—but she did show what she wanted at least.
Or what she thought she wanted.
He hoped to God it was what they both craved.
They talked of nothing relevant, but what they both needed. He wanted to know everything about her, and his wolf required it just the same. Logan also wanted to ensure the man within knew and held her with the care she deserved.
He didn’t want their mating to be because of fate.
Fuck the fates.
He wanted Cailin—mate or no.
After they cleaned up, they sat together on the couch in his living room. The air ripened with anticipation, cloying, heady.
He ran a hand through her hair and played with a strand, their gazes never leaving each other.
“What is it you want, Cailin?”
“You,” she answered with no hesitation.
He tilted his head. “I’m demanding. I’m not a submissive wolf you can walk all over to get your way.”
Cailin lifted a lip and bared fang. “Have you ever known me to be with a man I could walk over?”
Logan growled, snapping his teeth. “There will be no mention of other men while you are with me. They don’t exist. It’s only you and me.”
Fighting Fate (Redwood Pack #7) Page 7