by Brook Greene
The room falls silent. “The girls told her that Kent is the ex-president, and that we call him in on business every once in a while.”
“Did she believe them?” Roman clears his throat as he speaks, his fingers laced together in front of him on the table. My heart sinks at the look on Eno’s face.
“Well?” Roman asks, getting impatient.
“Jo doesn’t seem to think so.” He gives my shoulder a squeeze. “Sorry, brother.” His sympathy is genuine.
“Not one good fucking thing comes from lying,” Leo growls from the other side of the table. I look up at him, his black eyes set on me. He speaks the truth. He knows better than anybody how lying about who you are can bite you in the ass in a big way. I nod at him, casting my eyes down to the table, accepting the fact I’m going to have to tell her.
“Fuck,” Eno hisses out, looking at his phone, then up to me. “She just lost her shit on the girls. Avery’s taking her to your room to calm down.” He pinches his lips into a tight line.
I lower my head and pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. Closing my eyes, I shake my head. “What a clusterfuck,” I mumble. The room falls silent as my brothers let the weight of the situation settle on me.
Kent clears his throat, garnering all our attention as he begins to shove manila folders to all of us. The thickest one comes to a stop in front of me. “Here’s all the information you’ll need. They have him at the safe house. Matt, is the meeting still on with your dad tomorrow?” The question makes all the men at the table look up in confusion. I nod my head once.
“What the fuck does your dad have to do with this?” Leo asks.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Roman barks out as he slams the folder in front of him closed, cutting his eyes to me.
“Holy shit!” Dalton exclaims as he too reads over the information about me in the folder.
The effort I’d put into keeping my personal life separate from my professional life was all but shot to shit the day I knocked on Tessa’s door. I purse my lips as the others read over my financials and the family tree I fell from.
~~~~~~
It seems like forever before we’re finally able to leave the table and join the others. The faces of the women are grim, and I watch as their eyes dart from one to the other.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “How bad is it?” I ask them, prompting Avery to cross over to me. She lays her delicate hand on my arm and looks up at me, her green eyes full of pity, and it makes me sick.
I knew this time would come, but I thought I would have more time to think about how I was going to broach the subject. I should’ve expected this outcome to the conversation, regardless of when we have it. It’s going to be painful, with me ending up alone looking like a fool, and her heartbroken and alone with all the promises I made her.
I rub my face hard, the scruff I haven’t taken the time to shave pricks the palms of my hands.
“We did the best we could,” Avery informs me. “But she’s a smart girl, and I think she’s been having doubts for a few days now. At least that’s the impression I got.” Avery should know the look of doubt, she carried it around with her for the better part of two months when she and Leo had gotten together.
“Thanks, Avery, but this is my shit storm,” I say as I lean in, giving her a peck on the cheek. I look past her to the others. “Sorry, ladies.”
They each give me a look of sympathy. “For what it’s worth, Matthew,” Piper starts, her voice soft, “we still like her.” Her lips are in a thin smile, but her eyes are sincere and I know she’s telling me the truth, even though it doesn’t make the task ahead any easier.
I nod my thanks and go to the bar. I collect a bottle of Jack and two glasses before heading for my room, with a sense of dread enveloping me. I feel myself close off as I walk down the hall. The only way I’ll be able to handle her leaving is to act like I don’t care.
~~~~~~
Tessa
I pace, then I sit, then I stand and pace again. Wringing my hands then shaking them out, I try to rid myself of all the tension. I’d showed my ass in the kitchen, in front of everybody. I’d shocked them just as much as I had myself when I’d basically called them all lying bitches.
Avery had taken pity on me. With her knowing green eyes, she’d ushered me out of the kitchen and brought me here to Matthew’s room, promising to send him in.
I slump to the bed again with a groan. It’s all too much, this whole situation. He isn’t who I thought he was, that much is evident. He’s so much more than the smooth talking, Mercedes driving, fine wine drinking man who’d found a place in my bruised heart.
My hands shake from anger and my heart hurts with his betrayal. I should’ve known better than to fall for a man I’ve known only seven fucking days. It was stupid of me, really, and reckless, given my past. Handing my heart over when I’d only just gotten it back together. I’ve run the emotional gauntlet today from being completely happy to utter disappointment, and hitting rock bottom so fast my ass has an actual bruise from the impact.
The damage Matthew can inflict with his kisses is far worse than anything Jake could do with his fists. I swallow hard, trying to force down the lump forming in my throat. This is not what I wanted, to have my heart slaughtered. There’d been a time when Jake and I shared love, before he became who he is now, but leaving him never struck me the way thinking about leaving Matthew does.
I press my fist to my chest, trying to disperse the ache forming there at the thought of having to be without him. The past seven days, he’s been a constant, the sun I orbited around and gravitated to.
The door clicks, pulling my attention away from the pity party I’m throwing myself, and I turn to see Matthew standing just inside the door. His face is pensive, and he holds a bottle of Jack and two glasses in his hands.
He stays silent as he crosses the room, setting the bottle and glasses on the desk. Pouring two fingers in each glass, the silence between us hangs heavy with words that need to be said, and excuses that are going to be made.
I sit on the bed, holding my breath, the knot in the pit of my stomach tightening with each passing second, pushing the bile up the back of my throat. He still has his back to me as he leans his hands, palms down, on the desk and lowers his head. His shoulders are tight, and the muscles in his biceps flex and release, then flex again. The tension rolls off him in waves, washing over me like an ocean upset by a hurricane.
Not able to tolerate the silence any longer, I open my mouth to speak. “Matthew, look at me,” I demand of the man who’s taken not only my heart, but has marked my soul. When he turns, he leans back against the desk, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he takes a defensive stance. His eyes are vacant of all the emotion I’m used to seeing in them when he looks at me.
A chill runs down my spine at the iciness in his gaze. He’s doing it, driving the wedge between us I’ve been expecting the whole time. I right my spine, shaking off the chill and push forward, letting my anger carry me.
“What the fuck is going on, and who the hell are you really?” My tone is edgy and harsh, exactly the way I want it to be. I begin to feel the anger burn the skin of my neck as it rises up, flushing my cheeks. “And don’t give me any of that ‘I’m an investing genius who’s a mechanic that’s in a motorcycle club bullshit.” I finish with a flourish of my hands.
He drags out the silence, only making my anger rumble. I stand, needing to pace, hoping to expel the anxiety eating me alive from the inside.
“Tessa.” His deep voice breaks through the room, making me stop and turn to him. Our eyes meet, and I feel the lust flash forward, fighting back my anger, but I can’t allow how I feel for this man to derail my intentions to get answers. I let my name hang in the air between us and watch as he collects his thoughts before he speaks.
I cross my arms, waiting for him to continue. “Tessa,” he says again, as if begging me for something I’ve already given him, but d
oesn’t know he has.
“Oh, for the love of God, just tell me, Matthew,” I blurt out, no longer able to handle his silence or hesitation to tell me the truth.
“Okay, fine,” he finally says. Picking up the two glasses of whiskey he poured earlier, he hands one to me. I go to take a drink, then I think about what I’ve pushed away from my mind the past couple of days. My hesitation doesn’t go unnoticed by him.
“You don’t want any whiskey? You are pissed,” he says, his eyes still cool. The hint of humor cracks, but it doesn’t break me.
I slam the glass down on the desk, sloshing out the amber liquid I would so love to swallow in one gulp. My eyes dart between the glass and his, and I fumble for an explanation when I blurt out, “No, I don’t feel like fucking drinking.” I take a deep breath to compose myself. “It’s better if I keep a level head for this.” His arm glides past my hip to retrieve the glass I’d just slammed down, and I watch as he throws them both back. My mouth waters as I watch him swallow, his strong Adam’s apple bobbing along his throat.
He studies me before he nods and purses his lips. “I am a mechanic, but there’s a little more to it than that.”
“I figured as much. And what is that?” He walks past me to sit on the bed. He pats the spot next to him, inviting me to sit too. “If it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll stand.”
He looks up to me, and his hazel eyes are alight with anticipation, but his big broad shoulders slump as he brings the glass of whiskey up to his lips, taking it all in one drink, then he stands again, like me, unable to sit still. He sits the glass on the desk and pours it full again, then turns to me before killing the glass again.
“Matthew,” I coax, unable to take him drawing this out any longer.
He levels his eyes at me, and a shiver of desire runs over my body. The sight of him in his tight tee, perfectly baggy in all the right places makes my mouth water. I weigh the importance of knowing who he really is against his ability to give me multiple orgasms, but I shake it off, getting my hormones in check, at least for now.
He slams the glass down and crosses over to me. Taking my face in his hands, he assaults my mouth with his. He pushes his tongue through my lips and I lean my head so he has a better angle to tongue fuck my mouth. He glides his tongue against mine, and the taste of him and the whiskey sends a surge of lust through my body, making me temporarily forget the reasons why I’m here.
He glides his hands up my jaw and tangles his fingers in my hair, tugging it. I moan into his mouth, only spurring him on. He walks us backward, kissing me with panicked desperation. I lay my hands flat on his chest and push back slightly, trying to break the kiss.
I know he’s trying to distract me, and I would love to spend all afternoon letting him kiss me from head to toe, but there’s a bigger need in me for the truth about him right now. I can no longer take him at face value. He’s introduced me to his son, his friends, and his parents know about me. I turn my lips from his. “Matthew, stop,” I say against his chin. I lean my forehead against his shoulder, both of us breathing heavily. “Just fucking tell me,” I say through a sob. Backing away, I feel his fingers ease out of my hair. I wipe my nose with the back of my hand before looking up at him, my vision blurred from my tears.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Matt
I use my thumbs to wipe away the tears before I lower my hands from her face. I can no longer put off the inevitable. I’ve got to come clean, but I’m still not sure where to start. I run my hand roughly through my hair, trying my best to organize the thoughts crashing around in my head. I’ve messed up before, a lot, but nothing like the way I’ve royally fucked up with Tessa.
“It’s probably best if I show you, then explain afterward.” I take her hand and begin to pull her to the door when she tugs her hand back from me. I turn to find out why she’s stopped.
Her eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. “Show me?” I can see this is going to be an uphill battle with her.
“Yes, show you.” I hold out my hand for her to take again. She hesitates for a beat, but finally slides her hand into mine. “Keep an open mind and listen to my whole explanation before you pass judgment on me. That’s all I ask.”
“You have no fucking room to ask for anything,” she snaps at me, making me grit my teeth. I have to remind myself that she has every right to be a bitch towards me, so I just shake my head as I open the door and lead her down the hall to the open area of the clubhouse.
The room is thankfully empty, the others giving us space for the war that’s getting ready to ensue. I bring us to a stop in front of the large metal cabinet sitting off to the side of the living area. I dig out a set of keys we all have out of my pocket, but pause to look back at her one last time. “Keep an open mind, okay?” I ask again, knowing the request is falling on defiant ears. She crosses her arms over her chest and sets her shoulders. I turn back from the woman who has burrowed her way into my heart, looking at me like she could kill me.
The lock of the cabinet clicks and I pull the metal doors open, revealing the contents. I step back and rest my hands on my hips, waiting for her reaction.
“What the fuck is that?” she asks, her tone sharp, pointing an accusatory finger in the direction of the cabinet.
I turn my eyes to the cabinet that holds our gear. Reaching inside, I take a vest and raise it up over my head before letting it fall over my shoulders. Tessa’s eyes go wide when she reads the three white letters emblazoned on my chest. I take out my holster, strapping it to my right leg. Next, I check the clip of my gun, then secure it with a snap.
“I’m undercover DEA, Tessa. The club is our cover, what little of it that’s left.” I hold my arms out to either side of my body. “All this,” I turn in a circle, “was provided for us to conduct our business.”
She’s silent as she reaches out to trace her fingers over the letters, taking me in from head to toe. She pulls on one of the Velcro straps, ripping it loose before slapping it back. “Kent is our CO, not the ex-president of the club. I met the others in the service when I was assigned to their regimen.” I continue to talk, trying to fill the thick silence between us. Once I have the words out, it doesn’t seem all that bad, but her face is expressionless, making it hard for me to gauge what she’s thinking.
“Say something,” I plead.
Her eyes dart up to mine, and I watch as she pulls her bottom lip through her teeth. She tilts her head to one side. “Is that it? There’s nothing else?” she asks, looking a little dejected, but her reaction has my hopes lifting. Maybe she’s thinking what I just told her isn’t that bad after all.
“That’s it,” I confirm. I take a step in her direction, only to have her take a step back.
“And the money, the cars, the knowledge of all things expensive?” She lifts an eyebrow with her harsh question.
I sigh. “Family money.” I relent with the only answer I have to give her.
“Why would you keep it from me?” Her tone betraying the hurt she is feeling.
“It’s not something we go around announcing, and I didn’t expect…” I stop and rub the back of my neck before continuing. “For this to become what it has between us.”
She cuts her eyes at me and they are full of venom. “And what exactly is ‘this?’” Her words drip with sarcasm.
I feel the hopes from her earlier reaction start to deflate. The thought of having to explain what this means only screams she doesn’t feel for me what I feel for her.
“Evidently, it’s not the same to you as it is to me.” I unstrap the Velcro and hang the vest back up in the cabinet, following it up with hanging my gun next to it. After locking the doors, I turn to her, strangely happy to see a bit of emotion cross her face.
Her green eyes cut through me as she stares me down. Her mouth twisting around words she isn’t saying. “God damn it, Tessa, say something.”
She rubs her forehead as she looks down at the floor. Wanting to know what she’s thinking is fucking k
illing me, and my whole damn body is vibrating with anticipation as to what she’s going to say. Anything would be better than this soul-wrenching silence.
She raises her green eyes to me, but before she can say anything, a soft voice from my right cuts in. “Just listen to him, Tessa,” Avery addresses her. “He meant well by not telling you.” We both jerk our heads to her and see Leo run in behind her.
“Avery, fuck. I told you to stay out of it.” He takes Avery by the arm, attempting to haul her back into the kitchen, but she jerks free.
“If anybody understands what she’s going through right now, it’s me.” Avery pounds her finger into her chest as she glares at Leo, before turning back to us.
She walks closer, but Tessa holds her hand up, stopping her. “So Leo kept it from you too?” Her voice is surprisingly even, and Avery nods. “And how did you react when you found out he’d been lying to you?”
“Well…” Avery looks back to Leo, and then to me, worrying her hands.
Leo shakes his head no. “Don’t say another word, Avery. You’re only gonna make it fucking worse,” Leo warns, but she doesn’t listen, as always.
“We were kinda kidnapped, so he had to come clean.” This time, Avery doesn’t stop, but moves to stand right in front of Tessa. “My dad had been lying to me the whole time too,” Avery quickly adds, but she’s doing nothing but digging all our graves deeper.
“How does that make it any fucking better, Avery? Because I’m not seeing it.” Tessa asks, her brows knitted together.
“It’s not, but if you look at it as a whole, you can’t argue that Leo and my father had my best interests at heart, Tessa.” Avery lays a hand on my arm. “And I can assure you that’s what Matt was considering.”
Tessa scoffs, completely dismissing Avery as she looks past her to the rest of the gang who have filtered in from the back yard. “You people are fucking crazy,” Tessa states. “You were fucking kidnapped,” she says to Avery, then points to Hollis. “You were shot for fuck’s sake, and you,” she turns to Josie, “got the hell beat out of you by who, I don’t want to fucking know. And Emily.” She points a shaking finger at her. “God only knows if something happened to you, but from what I’m getting, if you did, it was just as fucked up as what happened to the rest of you idiots.”