Casualties of Love

by Denise Riley

  “Lt. Jones,” a husky voice sounded across the room. “You…called?”

  There was humor in the smooth tone that was like soft satin flowing over his skin. Tyson’s breathing increased involuntarily. His heart rate kicked up. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining things and quite frankly was almost afraid to open his eyes. Almost, my ass. You’re totally scared to look.

  “What can I do for you, Lieutenant?” the voice queried.

  Tyson mentally beat down the punk in him and lifted his lids. He noticed that even though the voice had directed the question to Marcus, the eyes of the speaker were trained on him. They were dark eyes that were sprinkled with amber flecks that he was too far away to see. The distance didn’t matter though. They were eyes that he knew better than the ones he saw every day in his own mirror.

  Jessica Watts was actually standing across from him at the door to his room. She was physically present in the same space with him, not just in his head. If possible, his heart banged harder and faster. Deep brown clashed with light grey as they stared at one another.

  She was beautiful. Still. It was like looking into his dreams. Same creamy chocolate skin. Thick lashes and brows that were naturally arched. Plush and sensual lips that just screamed to be kissed. She was exactly the same, but not. She had matured. He could see something different in her eyes, something that had not lived there before. There was a… What was it? A sadness maybe, that shadowed some of the young, vibrant woman he so vividly remembered. She was still slender, but not as thin as when they were at the Academy together. His eyes flowed over her full breasts, still high and firm, down her torso and past her flared hips and thighs. The BDUs fit her to perfection, hugging her curves right down to her slender ankles that were encased in desert-colored combat boots. Jones was right; Jessica looked damn good in a uniform. But, he knew that already. Tyson admitted that she would look good to him in just about anything. Paper bags, burlap sacks…nothing at all. He couldn’t believe she was standing there. His Jessica.

  Ok, so not his anymore.

  He couldn’t look away and she didn’t break the connection, so it went on for long moments until Jones conspicuously cleared his throat.

  “Um, so, yeah. My captain needs something for his pain.” When they didn’t appear to hear him, Jones went on a little louder. “He’s in pain, Sergeant.” As Marcus snapped out her rank, his voice broke through their shared spell.

  Jessica’s eyes flicked over to Marcus, but quickly returned to Tyson. He noted the slight tightening around her eyes as she studied him.

  “You’re hurting…sir?” Jessica asked him.

  Her voice was soft. There was an undertone of concern that he was surprised to hear. After all, she’d left his ass high and dry.

  “Some, Sergeant,” Tyson answered.

  Without saying anything else she left the room. Tyson nearly shouted out for her to stay. He had found her and wasn’t even aware he was looking. Her walking away in that moment did something to his insides. It felt real close to panic but he managed to tamp it down.

  “So…like I said. You know her,” Marcus’ voice reached Tyson across the room.

  “I used to know her,” Tyson allowed.

  “Who is she to you?”

  “No…” Tyson stopped. He couldn’t even say it. She would never be “nobody” to him. “Like I said, someone I used to know. I haven’t seen her in five years, maybe even close to six.” Who was he kidding? He knew exactly how long it had been since he’d seen Jessica Watts.

  “J.C.?” Marcus queried. Tyson knew he wanted her name.

  “Her name is Jessica. Jessica Caroline Watts. I guess they’re using the initials.”

  “Well, she’s been here every day.”

  “So?” Tyson asked with a frown.

  “So…the way you guys just stared at each other and the way she’s been hovering, it seems like you know her.”

  Marcus said the last with a raised brow just before Jessica returned to the room. His meaning wasn’t lost on Tyson, but Tyson didn’t have time to respond. She approached him and his body tensed in response to her nearness…and the overwhelming need to touch her.

  ******

  Jessica walked over to Tyson’s bed. She had a syringe that she used to inject pain medication into his fluids. She had just ripped a “new one” for the private on duty that had fouled up Tyson’s medication schedule. As the medicine moved into his system, she could see his brow relax and the lines around his sensually curved mouth smooth out. She tried not to stare at his lips.

  He relaxed back into the bed and Jessica couldn’t resist using her hand to brush down his bedding. It was as close as she could come to touching Tyson, and she needed to do it. Being this close to him for the last few days just emphasized what she had already known. She had never gotten over him. As her hand came to rest at the edge of the bed, Tyson covered it with his own warm palm. Jessica had to fight the whimper that threatened to escape her because of the warm feeling in her gut that his touch invoked. She looked up from their hands to look into his storm-colored eyes.

  “So, you really were there the other day. When I was brought in from the field.” His voice was low, a little rough. It caused a prickling along her spine.

  “Yes.”

  Jessica could feel his fingers curve around her hand. She briefly closed her eyes at the sensation that the gesture caused. It was like an electrical current ran up her arm. Her eyes flew open and went to his when she felt his fingers work their way up her wrist. Her breathing deepened as the tips of his fingers slowly ascended the length of her inner arm up toward her elbow. Her focus narrowed in size to just the two of them.

  Tyson didn’t say a word. His eyes shifted to follow the path of his hand and then traveled on up to meet her gaze again. She couldn’t speak. Wouldn’t have known what to say even if she was able to utter words.

  “Jessica.” Hearing her name from his lips was a wonder. It never sounded so good as when it came forth from his mouth. “I thought you were a dream,” Tyson stated in a low voice. Jessica shook her head in the negative. “How have you been, Jess?”

  The question was so simple, yet Jessica struggled to respond. First off, his fingers continued to play along the sensitive skin of her inner elbow. It was really distracting and extremely pleasant. It started ripples of need within her. A latent need that she hadn’t expected to manifest so quickly. Secondly, what should she say? I thought I was doing great until I saw you again. Not going to say that. So, she settled on something noncommittal and nondescript.

  “Ok. I’ve been Ok.” Weak Jess, her mind intoned. Yeah, well, she was helpless to come up with anything else in that moment.

  “That it? Just OK?” He closed his hand to grip her arm. Gently but firmly, he urged her closer. Jessica thought of resisting, but instead took the steps that brought her nearer to him. “It has been almost six years since you left me, Jess. Since you stopped talking to me.” Tyson’s voice was low and controlled. His tone wasn’t exactly hard, but it wasn’t easy either. His grip on her arm increased in pressure. “Six years and all I get is ‘Ok’. Nothing else you want to say to me?”

  Jessica contemplated his words. What to say? She could tell him the truth. Or, at least, part of the truth.

  “There is something,” she replied.

  “What?” he asked not taking his eyes from hers.

  “I’ve missed you,” she said.

  Her voice was low but she knew he’d heard her, because his eyes narrowed. She didn’t know why she’d said it, except that it was part of the truth. She brushed her hand along his forearm in much the same manner that he’d done to her. His grip on her tightened and a muscle in his jaw jumped with what she suspected was the clenching of his teeth. His eyes expressed a myriad of emotions including surprise, a hint of desire, and what looked to Jessica like anger. She was saved from actually hearing any verbal reaction to her statement when someone entered the room.

  Jessica smoothly and discretely steppe
d away from Tyson’s hold as one of her superiors walked in.

  “Sergeant.”

  “Sir,” she replied, making eye contact with the man.

  “It, ah, seems you came down on Private Ellis a little hard,” he stated.

  “Yes, sir,” she acknowledged, never breaking eye contact. She continued, “Cpt. Kidd has been drifting in and out of consciousness for days, sir. He needed the meds to rest, and I didn’t want him to be in pain when he woke up. As such, I set up a schedule for his meds with the PA. Ellis didn’t follow the schedule as directed. Cpt. Kidd was in unnecessary pain until I was… summoned by Lt. Jones.” Jessica looked over to find a smirking Jones, who had made a tone of noise in getting her attention, and nearly rolled her eyes at the man. Of course he was an officer so she refrained. “Ellis needs to pay attention,” she said, her focus back on the senior leader.

  “Agreed. But you usually don’t tear into the scrubs like that, J.C. I think you scared the boy,” he said with a chuckle that indicated he wasn’t concerned about it, merely wanted to tease Jessica. He approached Tyson’s bed and picked up his chart.

  He was right; she usually didn’t break the new kids in so roughly. But, when Tyson had said he was hurting, it had pissed her off. She’d have to watch herself. Jessica didn’t want anybody reading anything into how she treated Tyson. He was just another Soldier that needed patching up before being recycled to the warzone. He had to be. Right? What else could there be for man she hadn’t seen in years?

  Jessica pondered the question while she remembered the feel of his touch along her arm. Such a simple touch, innocent really, but it stirred something in her and it lingered deliciously. Reflexively, she rubbed her hand across the path that his fingers had taken.

  “So, Cpt. Kidd, J.C. tells us she knows you from college.” Jessica heard the commander’s words and her gaze whipped to Tyson’s. What would he say? Nobody knew about her appointment to the Academy and she wanted to keep it that way. But, Tyson didn’t get a chance to speak.

  “She went to West Point with you?”

  The question was blurted out from across the room. Jessica turned a horrified look upon Lt. Marcus Jones, but his eyes were targeting Tyson. If his expression was to be trusted, he was suffering major surprise over his loudly presented conclusion. From the way her commander’s jaw had dropped and his eyes had trained on her, Jones wasn’t the only one with questions. Well, shit.

  Chapter 4

  Tyson lay in the hospital bed thinking about Jessica. Hell, she was all he had thought about for the last few of days. He thought about touching her, running his fingers over her petal soft skin. All it had been was a grazing of her arm, and yet it had awakened something in him. Not just sexual, though he acknowledged there had been a stirring in his loins. Tyson had sex, wasn’t some deprived schmuck that got excited at the slightest touch. But, when he had traced his fingers along Jessica’s skin, he had felt. He had felt her. Tyson had observed the slight shiver of Jessica’s body when he caressed her. He had noted the fine layer of goose bumps that had spread across her skin. Tyson had remembered that he’d always been able to do that to her, elicit flush of heat to the surfaces of her body. Witnessing it that day, Tyson had known that Jessica felt him, too. He wanted another chance to see just how much.

  She had looked none too pleased after Marcus had shouted out his question regarding her attendance at the Military Academy. It was clear she hadn’t told anyone she’d been a cadet. The guy that had been checking him out had damn near choked on his sputtering questions. He’d dropped Tyson’s arm and his focus had quickly shifted from Tyson’s vitals to Jessica’s stunned and cornered expression. He’d fired questions at her, but she’d recovered quickly and deftly dodged them. She answered the man without giving away too much, managing to avoid providing any sort of detail on why she had left the Academy. Tyson suspected that she was just delaying the inevitable outcome of having to truly explain herself. Not a lot of people got congressional recommendations to attend West Point. An even fewer number of people who actually attended the Academy ended up among the enlisted ranks. Truthfully, Tyson didn’t know if that had ever happened before. It would not have bothered Tyson at all if she’d been forced to explain it all right then and there. He gladly would have listened to every word. He still didn’t know what the hell had happened, the true reason she had walked away.

  He had thought he was done wondering. But, here she was in the Army that he thought she had left for good. It didn’t make sense. Beyond that, she’d said she had missed him. What was that about? It had both thrilled him and pissed him off. Five years and seven months since he’d last laid eyes on Jessica Watts, since she had refused to take his calls or respond to his texts or letters or any of the contact that he had initiated. When he practically demands that she say something to him, she says, “I’ve missed you”. And by God, his dumb ass had very nearly told her the same thing in return.

  He hadn’t seen her again since she’d showed up to bring him the pain meds. She’d left with her superior and not been back. As soon a she’d walked out of the door, Jones had been all over him with questions.

  “Tyson, who the hell is that woman? If she went to West Point, why is she enlisted?” Jones had asked.

  “Jessica and I...We used to date.”

  Tyson thought about those words – used to date. They seemed completely inadequate for describing what had been between him and Jessica. Dating seemed so...limited, so lacking in depth to express how they had loved. He had loved her.

  “We were together at West Point. I don’t know what she’s doing here or why she’s enlisted. Jess... Jessica left the academy a few months into our last year and that was it. I talked to her for a while after and then she…stopped communicating with me. Completely.”

  “So, she didn’t graduate. That explains the enlisted thing…I guess. Though, I don’t know why you’d leave an academy just to turn around and join up enlisted.”

  “Me either,” Tyson had agreed.

  “Didn’t know you were into Black chicks,” Marcus had teased with a grin.

  “I’m into chicks. At the time, I was just into Jess,” Tyson had replied.

  It had been true. He had wanted Jessica and only Jessica. When they were together, he had never even noticed other women. She had been his friend, his battle buddy, his confidante. And, when she’d become his lover, his girl, it was like all the pieces had fallen into place.

  Seven and one-half years ago; US Military Academy, New York

  “Damn, damn, damn,” Jessica said. She was shaking her hanging head. Again. She kicked up dust as she tromped along beside him.

  “Jessica, stop worrying about this. It’s no big deal.”

  Tyson looked over at Jessica. She was angry, mostly with herself. He’d been trying to calm her down on their long walk back to Lee Barracks. She’d been his friend ever since they’d met their first day as entering plebes into the Academy. Now they were third classmen, in the middle of their second year at USMA. They were in the same regiment and company along with her roommate and his. They were all good friends and each tried to encourage and look out for the others. Cadet life wasn’t unbearable, but it wasn’t a cake-walk either. It was good to have people who had your back. Usually, Jessica was the one boosting morale. She typically excelled in all things military. It was freakish in a way. She was almost too good at soldiering. She caught on quickly and seemed like a natural. But, today she’d made a stupid mistake and their commander had come down on her…hard. When they had been dismissed, Tyson had immediately started in on cheering her up.

  “Maybe he’s right. Maybe I don’t belong here. Although, if I don’t deserve this it’s not for the reason he thinks,” she said with disgust.

  “Jessica, come on. You know you deserve to be here. You’re one of the best in our class, almost as good as me,” he tried joking her back into good spirits.

  “Yeah, but you’re a guy. Nobody tells you men you don’t belong here because of
what’s between your legs,” she’d said. “Everyone with a vagina is unworthy to that jerk. Each time one of us girls messes up, we set the female cadets back forty years. And, then none of us deserves to be here.”

  She was right; some of the men at USMA had little respect for the female cadets. They weren’t the majority, and female cadets like Jess proved them wrong daily. Tyson knew that she knew that. She was hell bent on being harder on herself than the commander, though.

  “But, you know that’s not true. You made a mistake. You’ll do better tomorrow, because you’re good. You’re a Soldier and you’ll get it right tomorrow. So, screw that guy. Yeah?” She just looked at him, her big, brown eyes unblinking. She sighed.

  “No. If I screw him, I’ll just be sleeping my way to a commission and wouldn’t he love to throw that in my face,” she said in a deadpan voice. Then, Jessica smiled at him, and Tyson knew she was ok. She bumped her shoulder to his and they kept walking. Finally, he thought. He hated it when she was upset. He couldn’t explain it, but whenever she was down, it made his gut hurt. Thankfully, she was rarely sad. Tyson feared he would spend an inordinate amount of time trying to coax her back into the moods he preferred if she were.

  They walked to her room and stopped outside in the empty hall. They were alone in the quiet hallway. She leaned against the wall, her back flat on the surface, and looked over at him.

  “Thanks, Ty,” she said to him.

  “For?” he inquired. He leaned his shoulder on the wall space next to her.

  “Being a good friend. For talking me down and walking me back.”

  “It’s what we do for each other, right?” he said with a small smile.

  She nodded in agreement and then turned toward Tyson. Not for the first time, Tyson noticed how pretty she was. He acknowledged that he had a crush on her, and for him that was virtually unheard of. He didn’t have to seek out women; they tended to gravitate toward him. He wasn’t the kind of guy to turn ladies away either. But, he knew with the girls that did the asking instead of being asked, it was all about his looks. Looks and the uniform and the hope that someday they’d end up an officer’s wife.