by Ruff, K. S.
He laughed. “This should be a piece of cake for you then. Why don’t you grab this backpack? I’ll grab the other backpack and the rest of the gear.”
I eyed all the carabiners, slings, and harnesses swinging from Kadyn’s shoulder as we hiked down the trail. “You know, that gear looks like something you’d expect to find in some BDSM club.”
Kadyn froze on the trail in front of me. He slowly turned around. “What did you say?”
I took a step back. “Nothing,” I yelped. “I think maybe somebody else was talking… on that other trail.” I nodded toward a heavily treed area.
Kadyn’s eyes glinted with mischief as he took another step forward. “Hmm. I don’t know, Kri... It sounded like you just asked me to take you to a BDSM club.”
I blanched. “No. I’m not into being tied up, humiliated, or tortured.”
Kadyn took another step forward. Heat rolled off his body as he closed the distance between us. “What if the torture wasn’t really torture? What if it was someone you trusted, and you knew he would only do things that made you feel really, really good?”
Heat flooded my cheeks as I attempted to back away. Kadyn caught me by the waist and immediately yanked me against his chest. He lowered his voice until it rose huskily from his chest. “You said you preferred cocky, determined kisses. Admit it. You like to be dominated.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but Kadyn’s lips crashed against mine. I tried to pull away, but he locked me in his arms. My head swam as his kiss grew more insistent. My arms wrapped hesitantly around his neck.
Kadyn was relentless. He owned every crevice of my mouth as he demanded my submission. His body hardened as his tongue made love to mine.
I so wanted to prove Kadyn wrong, but my body refused to lie. My breasts swelled against his chest as a searing need burned through my veins, my abdomen, and thighs.
Kadyn read my body like a much beloved book. His hands raked over my breasts as he ravished my neck with deep open-mouthed kisses.
My head fell back. I dug my fingers into his broad shoulders as the forest spun. I moaned softly, then relaxed into his arms.
Kadyn stilled, then slowly met my gaze. His eyes were two pools of unadulterated lust. A look of complete and utter satisfaction slid over his face. “I told you… you like being dominated.” He laughed as he patted my bottom. “Now, you take the lead. I want to watch you hike in those shorts.”
I gave him a dirty look as I stumbled over my feet. “But I don’t know where I’m supposed to go.”
Kadyn laughed as he nudged me forward. “I’ll tell you when to turn.”
We walked out onto a cliff twenty minutes later. Kadyn dropped his backpack and the other equipment next to a tree. I hung back by the tree while he hopped from rock to rock. My breath caught when he reached the edge of the cliff. He peered over the edge. “Looks like we’re in the right spot. Wow! We must be about fifty feet above the Potomac River.”
“Fifty feet?” I exclaimed, suddenly panicked.
Kadyn smiled. “Piece of cake.” He picked his way back over the rocks, knelt next to the backpack, and pulled out two ropes. He secured one of the ropes around the tree by tying several knots. He unraveled the rope until the middle section hung just over the edge of the cliff. He tied another knot, hooked up two carabiners, and unraveled the second rope. He appeared to be securing the second rope through the carabiners. He glanced over the edge of the cliff, then yelled, “Rope!” as he tossed the ends over the edge of the cliff.
Kadyn grabbed the free end of the first rope and walked it back over to the tree. I raised my eyebrows questioningly.
He smiled. “That’s our back-up. Just in case.”
I fidgeted nervously. While his back-up plan seemed like a really good idea, rock climbing suddenly did not.
Kadyn scooped up the remaining equipment, slung it over his shoulder, then patted me on the bottom. “Okay. Let’s go.”
“Go? Where are we going now?” I inquired in a voice that was way too high to be my own. I followed him back onto the trail.
“We’re lowering a bit further down the trail,” Kadyn responded.
I shook my head, thoroughly confused. “How do you know where we’re supposed to lower and tie the back-up rope?”
Kadyn glanced back at me. “There are a number of guys in my office who are rock climbers. They told me what to look for when they recommended this place.” The trail branched into another clearing along the edge of the cliff. Kadyn knelt on the ground as he began digging through his backpack again. He pulled a new pair of rock climbing shoes from the backpack and handed them to me. “These are for you. Hopefully they fit.”
My eyes widened in surprise. I had fully expected to make do with my running shoes. I kissed his cheek as I sat next to him. “Thanks, Kadyn.” I kicked my shoes off and slipped the climbing shoes on. “They fit perfectly,” I exclaimed.
Kadyn smiled as he tugged his own pair of rock climbing shoes on. “Good.” He pulled another rope from the backpack before cramming our running shoes inside. He stood and pulled me to my feet. “I’m going to put you on belay and let you climb down first. Be careful though. You’re going to touch down right next to the river.”
My eyes widened as he fit a harness around each of our waists. I cinched my backpack a bit tighter. “I was thinking maybe you should go first.”
Kadyn tugged the harness to make sure it was secure. “Why are we here?”
I rolled my eyes as he secured the rope to my harness with a couple of knots. “We’re here because you want me to trust you.”
Kadyn nodded as he looped the other end of the rope around a rock. He secured his harness to the rope and attached the belay device before pointing toward the edge of the cliff. “Okay. Head down over there.”
My heart scrambled back toward the trail as I inched toward the edge of the cliff. I held onto the rope as I peered over the edge. “Holy crap,” I breathed. The Potomac River boasted a beautiful white froth as it pounded against large jagged rocks. The rocks that lined the river’s edge didn’t look very forgiving. “I think I prefer the mats at the indoor rock climbing gyms,” I called back to Kadyn. A shiver ran down my spine as I calculated the odds of surviving a fall.
“Don’t worry. You’re on belay. I’ll catch you if you fall,” Kadyn called out.
“Easy for you to say,” I muttered under my breath. “Don’t worry. I’ll catch you if you fall,” I mimicked irritably. “The man is standing on the wrong end of the cliff. He can’t catch me when he’s standing at the top.”
Kadyn laughed. “I heard that… and you know the rope allows me to catch you from the top.”
I knew the longer I stood there the harder it would be to gather the courage to climb down, so I called over to Kadyn. “Ready to lower.”
“Lowering,” he called back.
I inched toward the edge of the cliff. “I’m tied in… I’m tied in… I’m tied in,” I chanted under my breath. I gripped the rope as I turned my back to the cliff. My stomach plunged into the river below.
“Okay. I’ve got you. Just lean back,” Kadyn called.
I looked pointedly at Kadyn before I sat back into my harness. I planted my feet against the edge of the cliff, breathed a silent prayer, then slowly began walking backwards down the side of the rock.
My legs were shaking, so I paused briefly and tried to relax my limbs. I felt for the next ledge with my toe, then yelped as my foot slipped. My knee hit the rock.
The rope tightened immediately. “I’ve got you,” Kadyn yelled.
I took a deep breath and continued. Eventually, I touched down at the river’s edge. I looked around in wonder. I had never seen a more breathtaking view. Ominous looking cliffs loomed above me on either side of the river, which sounded really, really loud.
“Are you down?” Kadyn shouted from over the top of the cliff.
“Yes!” I hollered. I untied the rope from my harness. “Rope’s free,” I yelled up to Kadyn. The rope bega
n moving as he pulled it over the top of the cliff. I watched the rope disappear. Then I hopped over to a rock that was a bit more flat. I peered up at the cliff while perched on the rock. I was beginning to wonder if Kadyn was even going to climb down. “You’re not eating lunch up there, are you?”
Kadyn’s laughter carried over the thundering river. “No. All the food is in the backpack that you’re wearing!”
“Just making sure,” I mumbled.
“I take it you’re hungry?” he yelled.
I laughed. “No. I just miss your pretty face,” I shouted toward the top of the cliff.
Kadyn peeked over the top of the rock. His chin was resting on top of his hands. “In that case…”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You do realize I could start eating without you, right?”
Kadyn shook his head. “I’d be down there before you even got that backpack unzipped.” He glanced over at the Maryland side of the river and pointed toward the top of the cliff.
I turned around and quickly noted the hikers walking along the top of the cliff. I wondered how the rock climbing was on that side of the river.
Kadyn touched down next to me. The rope was coiled around his shoulders.
I gaped at him. “How the heck did you get down?”
He laughed. “I climbed down, same as you.”
I punched him in the arm. “But no one had you on belay!” I planted my hands on my hips. “You know, sometimes you make it really difficult to like you.”
He shook his head. “You might want to be nice until after I’ve fed you lunch.”
My eyes widened. “I’m the one carrying lunch!”
He laughed. “Like I couldn’t get that backpack away from you. Do you want to eat down here or back up at the top?”
I turned around and eyed the river again. “It’s kind of loud and a little bit scary being this close to the water. I think I’d rather eat at the top.”
He nodded. “Okay. Follow me.” We jumped from rock to rock as we made our way back up the river to the spot where Kadyn’s first rope was hanging.
“Who’s going up first?” I asked as he tied each of us to either end of the rope.
He tugged on my harness. “You are.” He attached the belay device to his harness. “Whenever you’re ready.”
I shook out my arms and studied the rock. “On belay?” I asked as I noted a couple of crevices for my hands.
“Belay on,” Kadyn replied.
I took a deep breath, then let it out. “Okay. Climbing.”
“Climb on,” Kadyn responded.
I could feel him tighten the rope as I found a foothold and pushed myself up to the crevice I had found for my right hand. I tucked my left hand into a crevice and glanced down as I felt for a higher foothold for my left foot. As soon as both feet were secure, I sought new crevices for my hands, ones that would be within reach once I straightened my left leg.
“Do you want a practice fall?” Kadyn asked.
I continued studying the rock face. “No. I’m good.” I pushed myself up with my left foot and reached for the next crevice with my right hand.
“I’m really enjoying the view,” Kadyn remarked.
I dug my fingers into another crevice. “Gee, thanks,” I responded sarcastically. I sought another foothold and avoided the urge to look down. “Frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t ask me to wear a dress, Kadyn.”
He laughed. “That thought did cross my mind…”
I found two more crevices and felt another foothold within reach so I pushed up again. My heart stalled when I lost my footing, but Kadyn tightened the rope until I found a better foothold. “I’m good,” I called down, and he loosened the rope.
My arms were aching by the time I reached the top. An exhilarating sense of accomplishment fell over me as I sat and shook out my arms. “Hey, I think all those Karate kicks are paying off. My legs don’t even hurt!” I called down to Kadyn.
“You were using your arms to balance most of your weight. That’s why your legs don’t hurt. Next time you need to put more weight on your legs,” He called back up.
I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see me. “Now you tell me,” I mumbled as I began massaging my arms.
My breath caught when I realized I didn’t have a belay device to help Kadyn climb up the cliff. I didn’t even know how to belay from the top. I only knew how to belay from below. I crawled over to the edge of the cliff, then scrambled backwards as Kadyn pulled himself over the top.
I scowled at Kadyn. “You scared the crap out of me!” I looked down at the rope that was tied to my harness. “I didn’t even feel you tug on the rope.”
Kadyn laughed. “I untied the rope.”
I shook my head. “Free climbing? Seriously? Do you have to be good at everything?”
Kadyn stood and pulled me to my feet. “Did you enjoy climbing?”
I grabbed his face and planted a firm kiss on his lips. “That was awesome! I can’t believe I climbed up a real rock!”
He yanked me by the harness when I tried to back away. He kept a firm hold on the harness as he held me flush against his body.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re enjoying the harness a little too much.”
He shook his head. “Not nearly enough.” The smile slid from his face as he lowered his lips and coaxed me into a more provocative kiss.
I braced my hands on my knees when he finally released me. I was trying to catch my breath. “I think your kisses may be getting a little too cocky.”
He chuckled softly. “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”
We unhooked the harnesses as we walked back toward the trees. I handed him my backpack, then dropped next to him on the ground. “What did you pack for lunch?”
He looked inside the backpack. “Tell me you love me…”
I punched him in the arm. “You know I love you!”
He shook his head as he zipped the backpack back up. He hadn’t removed a single item of food. “You know the punching bit? That sends a slightly different message. I’m not sure I believe you.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? You’re refusing to feed me until I convince you?”
He nodded. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
I huffed out a breath. “You do realize this is blackmail?” I shoved his knees flat against the ground before straddling his lap. I gathered his face in my hands and fit my lips to his. I kissed him tenderly at first. Then I teased his tongue with long, seductive strokes.
He pulled my hips more firmly against his before taking control of the kiss. Kadyn hardened, and my entire body began to hum. Suddenly, the kiss wasn’t some lighthearted joke.
I moaned softly as Kadyn eased me against the ground. He shifted his weight until I was pinned firmly beneath him. He broke the kiss and searched my eyes. His eyes darkened with desire. Then he completely ravished me with open-mouthed kisses.
Kadyn reached under my shirt as his lips consumed my neck. I arched against him as his thumb teased my breast.
“Kadyn,” I gasped. “Not here. We can’t do this here. Someone might see us.”
His eyes grew determined as he lifted my shirt and sports bra. His warm mouth latched onto my breast. His hand rested possessively on the other breast, then clenched.
My eyes slid closed as my back arched once again. Heat flooded my lower abdomen and thighs. “Oh, God! Kadyn you have to stop. Please!”
Kadyn tugged my bra and shirt back into place. He layered kisses all along my neck before reclaiming my mouth. He draped one leg over mine as he broke the kiss and slid to the ground alongside me. He propped himself on his elbow as he rubbed his thumb across my swollen lips. “Now, you had something you wanted to tell me?”
I stared at the clouds while I waited for my breathing to slow. A confusing array of emotions jockeyed for position… desire, love, hope, fear, guilt, and sadness. I slowly turned to face Kadyn. My eyes filled with tears when I realized he wasn’t joking any more. My heart h
urt when I finally spoke the words he longed to hear. “I love you, Kadyn.”
His eyes remained fixed on mine. “I know,” he whispered. “I just needed to hear you say it.” He pulled me against his chest as he rolled onto his back.
I tried to relax as I breathed in the clean, crisp scent of his cologne, but the fragrance seemed off. I should have found it comforting. It was the same cologne Kadyn had always worn, but for some reason the scent seemed all wrong.
He sighed as he stroked my hair. “This is where you belong, Kri… right here in my arms.”
I blinked back tears. Kadyn’s arms didn’t feel like where I belonged, not anymore. My body seemed agreeable enough, and no memories had gotten in the way, but being with Kadyn still felt wrong… and I still didn’t understand why.
* * * * * *
I dove into the shower the second I got home, and it wasn’t because of the dirt and leaves in my hair. I turned the water up as hot as it would go. I figured I might as well get used to the scalding heat since I was quite certain I was headed for hell if I continued dating both Kadyn and Rafael.
Kadyn had made it clear he wanted to sleep with me again, but I was already sleeping with Rafael. I had agreed to give that relationship a chance before Kadyn expressed an interest in dating again. So I couldn’t shake the feeling that if I slept with Kadyn, I would be cheating on Rafael.
I leaned against the shower wall as I watched the dirt and leaves swirl around the drain. I couldn’t cheat on Rafael. The guy was completely devoted to me, and he was bending over backwards to make our relationship work despite the fact that I was dating Kadyn again. But how was that fair to Kadyn? Was I cheating on Kadyn when I was sleeping with Rafael?
I shook my head in disgust. I was afraid to lose Kadyn, but I was equally afraid to lose Rafael. I couldn’t deny that I was attracted to him. I felt safe with him. He was easy to be with, and I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with him. I believed Rafael when he said he would never leave me, and that meant something to me… especially after being rejected by Michael and Kadyn.
I sighed as I turned the shower off and reached for a towel. This was an impossible situation. Neither relationship was going to work if I was seeing someone else. I needed to choose before every single one of us ended up getting hurt.