“It was a few months after he stopped coming around that my mom changed. She was always late picking me up from school, she lost a ton of weight, and forgot a lot of things.
“As time went on I had to become independent. I had to get myself up for school, make my own lunches, get on a bus that would bring me home. It got so bad that after I turned ten, I was stealing food to eat because my mom was forgetting to buy it.
“Once I was old enough to know what drugs were and what the white stuff near my mom’s bed was, I learned that my mom was a drug addict. I know my father is the one who caused her to succumb to it because she was fine before he left her.
“Anyway, when I was fourteen I came home from school and found her on the couch, cocaine in front of her. She wasn’t breathing. I called 911, and the next thing I knew they were pronouncing her dead from an overdose and I was shipped off to my grandmother’s.”
Gage’s voice was thick with emotion and it killed me to hear it. I hated seeing him in pain, and his mother’s dead was clearly still very painful to talk or even think about. I couldn’t imagine finding my own mother dead on the couch at fourteen. That had to be terrifying.
“Oh, Gage,” I whispered.
“What was I supposed to do? Maybe if I tried harder she would be here.” I sat up to look at him. His brown eyes were glassy but no tears fell.
I found myself swinging my leg over Gage and straddling his upper body. He wasn’t even looking at me. I grabbed his cheeks and dipped my head down lower to his.
“Gage.” My blue eyes met his brown ones when he finally looked right at me. “You better not be blaming yourself for that.”
“Carter—”
“Gage, don’t even think about it. You were young and you didn’t know. You did what you could. It was your mother’s decision to do that, you hear me?” I stared right at him.
“I am not going to tell you to never think about your mother or what happened. What happened is what made you who you are, and I love who you are. But you do not need to blame yourself for what she did. You are not going to sit here with me and have this guilt over something that you had no control over.
“So instead you are going to take a deep breath, push it all into a box in the corner of your mind, and slowly let yourself get over this guilt you have. You are not going to get over it overnight, but one day you are going to say to yourself that it was not your fault your mother passed away.
“Now once you have pushed those thoughts away, you are going to kiss me, and we are going to lie around together for the rest of the day not thinking about it. Okay?” My eyes burned into his. I hoped he understood that I was here for him.
“God, I love you.” His head came up and his lips met mine, just as I asked.
***
The rest of the afternoon Gage and I camped out in his room. We switched from making out to talking. We stayed off serious topics and stayed with the lighter ones. I didn’t like the look in Gage’s eye when he talked about his mother, so I vowed to myself I would try everything to keep that look out of his eyes, for the rest of my life if I could.
The day passed away pretty quickly, and soon it was after three. We hadn’t really moved much, but I didn’t mind at all. I loved lying next to Gage and being wrapped in his arms. It just felt right.
We didn’t make it past making out and a few touches here and there. I wasn’t ready for that part just yet, and Gage was sweet enough to respect that. He didn’t want to push me into something I wasn’t ready for yet. It just made me love him even more. I could see us sleeping together, but I wanted that to be perfect, instead of right after a screaming match.
“Babe, you stay here. I’ll be back,” Gage said, bringing me out of my thoughts. He untangled himself from me and stood up. My eyes raked over his form as he moved around the bed, toward the door.
“Where are you going?” I asked, sitting up.
“I am going to make you something and bring it to you in bed. So stay there.” He even put his hand out, like I was a dog he was commanding to stay.
“Okay, okay.” I put my hands up and leaned back against his headboard. “Just don’t be gone too long.” Gage sent me a wink before he left the room. I smiled after him feeling my love grow even more. I was more than happy I decided to ditch the rest of my classes to come find Gage and to stay with him the rest of the day. We needed this.
I sighed happily as I sunk into his bed, waiting for him to come back with his surprise. I lay there for a good ten minutes, glancing at the door every so often, waiting for Gage to burst through. After another five minutes, with no sign of him, I got worried. What was taking him so long?
A few minutes later I couldn’t take it anymore. I swung my legs off the bed and left the room to find him. Coming down the hallway, I heard noises and padded softly toward the kitchen. I came to a stop at the end of the hallway upon seeing Gage.
He stood near the counter messing with a smoothie blender. From here I could see his face was scrunched up adorably as he tried to figure out how to work the thing. I had a nice view of him from where I stood—him and his damn sweats.
“How does this damn thing work?” Gage muttered angrily. I couldn’t help but grin. Although I didn’t want to ruin his whole surprise, it looked like he needed some help.
“Do you need some help?” I asked, walking toward him.
“I thought I told you to stay in bed.” Gage turned to look at me.
“Sorry, I was wondering what was taking you so long. But by all means continue. I am liking the view.” I grinned at him cheekily.
“Since you ruined my whole surprise you aren’t getting any of this.” He gestured to his body.
“We will see about that.” I smirked at him as I rounded the kitchen counter. “So, you are trying to make a smoothie?”
“Yeah,” he huffed. “But the damn thing won’t work.”
“Well, first you should have it plugged in.” I grabbed the plug and waved it around. Shaking my head, I plugged the blender in. “And you need liquid. So, milk or water, depending on what you are making, and ice or ice cream.” I glanced around and noticed he had a mix of things: chocolate syrup, bananas, strawberries, and Oreos.
“What kind do you want to make?” I asked.
“I’m not sure. What do you want to make?” Seeing as he wasn’t going to make the decision, I grabbed the Oreos, chocolate syrup, and milk. Because we didn’t have any ice cream, we used ice instead.
“First, you add the liquid then the ingredients,” I instructed, handing him the milk before the rest of the stuff. I leaned my hip against the counter as I watched him. When the milkshake started to blend, I watched Gage smile. We kept adding more ice to make it thicker before it was finally done. I smiled, watching Gage focus on putting the milkshake into cups for us.
“Bon appétit.” He even did a small bow as he handed me a cup. We clinked our glasses and took a sip. The look on Gage’s face let me know he was surprised at how good it tasted.
“Man, I can cook.” Gage grinned. I shook my head at him before leaving the kitchen and heading for the couch.
“You are so weird.”
“But you love me.” He sat down beside me and nudged my shoulder, grinning wolfishly at me.
“Sadly.” I grinned back.
Chapter Two
“Gage, stop. I have to study.” I pushed him away as he tried to kiss my neck again.
“You’ve been studying for the past hour. Take a break, Princess.” His arms wrapped around me once again.
We were at the school library studying; well, I was trying to study while Gage kept distracting me. We had been studying for well over an hour now, so I didn’t blame Gage for wanting to take a break. This was all we had been doing for the last week.
Finals were here, which just resulted in all of us being stressed out. Christmas being right around the corner was basically the only thing getting us through this week of hell. Finals week was the worst, and I had definitely learned this o
ver the last couple of days.
It had been two weeks since Gage and I made up and confessed our feelings to one another. It had been a great two weeks, if you subtracted this whole week of studying and tests. I wanted nothing more than to just spend time with him, but by the end of the day both of us were too exhausted to do much other than get dinner then pass out.
I hadn’t seen much of anyone lately. Macey was just as busy with studying and trying to make time for Luke, so we barely saw each other. Same went with Ethan, Amy, and Dylan. All of us were just praying we made it through the rest of the week.
Thankfully it was Wednesday, which meant only one more day. All of us didn’t have any classes on Friday, so we were planning on celebrating.
“Just one more second,” I muttered as I read the last paragraph in my history book and took notes. Tomorrow I had history and my art final was due. My art teacher had extended the due date so we all had an extra two days to finish it. Today I had psychology and photography, and let’s just say my psychology test was enough to fry my brain. I was so ready to be done with this week and then be off until January.
“Okay, done.” I dropped my pen and slumped down in my chair. I closed my eyes for a second. I felt a soft kiss against my forehead, making me smile. I opened my eyes to look at Gage.
“Don’t stress too much about it. You will do fine,” Gage said, smiling softly at me.
“Coming from the guy who is ridiculously smart and has already taken the history test,” I muttered.
“Babe, you don’t have to compare yourself to me.” He placed a hand on his chest and shook his head. “It is hard living up to such greatness.” I punched his arm roughly.
“Smart-ass.”
“You need a break. Come on.” Gage stood up, gathered his things, and held out his hand for me to take. I didn’t even hesitate in grabbing his hand. Gathering my own things with my other hand, I stood up and let Gage pull me out of the library.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“That is a surprise.” He grinned over at me as he tugged me in the direction of the parking lot. I looked over at him as we walked. Things had been going great for us lately. While we hadn’t done too much this past week, what we did see of each other was great. Even if it was just to get a coffee before tests and getting a quick bite to eat. Gage was so thoughtful, that this morning he showed up outside my first classroom with a coffee and a muffin.
I think some of his actions surprised Gage himself, like he didn’t know he could be so sweet and romantic. If anything, this week had made me love him even more. Crazy, I know.
Things had just been going very well for us and I was glad. I hated being away from him and having him mad at me; it just didn’t feel right. Since this was my first love, I had a feeling that if anything ever happened to us, I didn’t know if I would recover. I didn’t even want to think of that.
We were now in Gage’s Jeep and I couldn’t help but ask again where we were going. It was nearing four in the afternoon, so I wasn’t sure we what we were doing.
“Princess, patience,” he chided, almost like I was a little kid. I rolled my eyes at him and laid my head back in the seat. I had a small smile on my face as we drove to wherever Gage was taking me.
“You aren’t going to kill me, are you? This would be the perfect time to do so. No one knows where we are,” I said, turning my head toward him.
“If I wanted you dead, you would be dead by now,” Gage scoffed. “You need to stop watching those crime shows.”
“Hey, when we get taken or something, I will be the one making it out alive, not you.” In reality, it would be Gage who would get free, not me. I’d be the unlucky one and die instantly because I said something wrong.
He didn’t say anything as he kept driving. Eventually, he pulled into a familiar parking lot and parked.
“Ice cream?” I asked sitting right up, my grin widening.
“Not just any ice cream, it is the kind where you can get whatever kind of candy you want smashed inside.” At his words I felt my mouth water.
“What are we waiting for?” I jumped out of the car without waiting for his response. I rounded the front just as Gage did. I grabbed his hand and tugged him inside the cute ice cream shop.
Even though it was freezing outside I didn’t care. Thankfully, though, inside the shop was warm, which was kind of weird considering it was an ice cream place. I did not mind at all though.
The moment we stepped through the doors I went straight for the counter, my eyes taking in all the toppings and ice cream flavors. I saw in the corner what looked like a flat-top stove, but was actually a really cold flat-top where they combined the ice cream. Just seeing all the things you could get made my mouth water. “You look like a little kid on Christmas,” Gage commented, coming to my side.
“Well duh! Look at all the options.” My eyes went from one flavor to the next.
“Hello, how may I help you two?” a girl asked from behind the counter. She looked to be about our age or maybe younger.
“I would like two scoops in a cup, vanilla ice cream with Reese’s peanut butter cups,” Gage rattled off instantly. We watched the girl chop up the Reece’s and mix it with the ice cream. Gage even added chocolate syrup at the end. When it was my turn, I couldn’t decide.
“I will have two scoops in a cup as well, with vanilla ice cream and cookie dough and sprinkles.” Why was choosing ice cream flavors so hard?
I waited almost impatiently as the girl made mine and we paid for it. I held myself back from digging into it until we took a seat at a table near the front window. The moment we sat down, I dug in. Practically moaning, I completely forgot Gage was sitting there staring at me.
“Well, now I know what sounds you make in bed,” Gage commented, making me stop my spoon in the air. I choked as I stared at him. Gage let out a loud laugh.
“You are so mean,” I muttered, my cheeks hot. I stuck my spoon in my mouth angrily while Gage just sat there laughing. “I hate you.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t like the noises, Princess.” He winked at me, which just made my face even redder. If that came from anyone another than Gage it would have been very sleazy, but he was able to pull it off. He could literally say anything and girls would still fall at his feet.
“Shut up.”
“I love that you still get embarrassed in front of me.” He grinned at me while taking a bite of his own ice cream.
“I don’t,” I lied.
“Then why are your cheeks red?”
“Because I’m…sunburned.”
“Sunburned?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “It is cloudy outside.”
“So? You can still get sunburned with the clouds in the sky.” I stuck my chin out.
“Okay, whatever you say.” Gage grinned at me knowingly. In response I moved my spoon to his ice cream and took a big chunk of it. “Hey! You can’t do that.”
“We are together now, Gage. I can have whatever you have.” I smirked at him as I stuck the spoon in my mouth. “What is yours is mine, that is the rule.”
“Since when has that been the rule?”
“Since forever.”
“You are totally making that up.”
“Am not. Haven’t you ever heard the saying ‘what is mine is yours’?”
“If that is the rule, then—” He grinned at me before reaching over and grabbing my entire cup of ice cream.
“Hey!” I lunged across the table to grab it from him, but he held it up above his head where I couldn’t reach. “Damn you and your tallness.” I hissed.
“You said what is mine is yours.” He smirked at me while taking a huge chunk of my ice cream.
“That doesn’t mean taking my entire thing, jerk.” I narrowed my eyes at him. While he ate my ice cream, I grabbed his and started eating off his. After a minute of an intense stare down we grinned at one another.
We quietly ate our ice creams, content just being near each other. We switched ice creams every
once in a while, until we were almost done with the cups. As we sat there I remembered I wanted to ask him about Christmas.
“Hey, Gage?” I felt a little nervous asking him, but I wasn’t sure why.
“Yeah?” He set his cup down and looked at me. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything is fine! I was just wondering if you would like to go to this holiday party my dad throws with his company every year.” He raised an eyebrow at that. “It isn’t as boring as it sounds…okay, it is, but Luke and I are always required to go, and I thought maybe you would like to come with me.”
“As in, be your date?” He had a small, teasing smile on his face.
“Yes, as in be my date.” I smiled at him, hoping he would say yes. The past years I had always gone alone, and I thought maybe this year Gage could come. It was always just Luke, Macey, Ethan, and I. It would make this year’s party better with my boyfriend coming.
“You don’t have to go, though, if you don’t want to. It can be pretty boring with tons of rich people gossiping about stupid things. But there is dancing, and food, and they give out these little gift thingies.” I bit my lip as I waited for him to respond.
“You need to work on asking people out.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Fine, but only for the free food and gifts.” I tried to fight off a grin, but it didn’t work.
***
Finals week finally ended, and I couldn’t be happier. Now we had a few weeks of no work, and with Christmas and New Year’s coming up, I was more than happy to not do any homework and spend time with my family.
It was Saturday, two days after my last final, and I was getting ready to go out with everyone. We were going to celebrate Macey’s, Amy’s, and my first semester of college being done. We’d survived. Our grades won’t be posted for another day, if not longer, so for right now we were going to pretend that all of us did amazing and not worry about it.
Silent Love Part Four_Forbidden Series Page 2