by Rachel Burns
Once they’d left, James cut to the chase. “I’ve known your employer since he was a child. I’ve always liked the boy. Too much to let him start with something that he’ll quickly regret.” He sighed. “I believe the best thing I can do for him is to forbid the wedding. He’ll thank me in a couple of years.”
“I don’t think that he’ll take that lying down. I’ve been informed of the short acquaintance between the two of them, but please believe me when I relay that he is at this moment remodeling his house to suit her needs. He’s very serious about your daughter.”
“To suit her needs? You mean to suit his. I saw his eyes light up when she came in wearing her school uniform. The next day he brings her a nanny and the virginity test. He doesn’t want a wife, no. What he wants is a little girl. He sees my daughter, who I’ll admit didn’t have much of a childhood to speak of, and he wants to play games with her. These games won’t last long. She may be very naïve, but she isn’t stupid. She’ll catch on quickly, and the problems will begin.”
“My employer may want to lead a bit of an unusual life with her, but her best interests are being looked after, by me personally. He made it clear when he hired me that she wasn’t to be misused. He feels a need to care for her. He just doesn’t want to share her with the outside world. I believe that she too doesn’t want to take part in the outside world either. They’re a good match.”
“You know what, Nanny? He should have her. It will teach him far more than I could explain to him. But my doors close the second she sets foot out of them. She may not come back, ever, not even to visit. I’ve served my time with that one.
“He can have her. Let him play whatever game he wants. I don’t care, but I don’t want to have to hear about it, ever. If she ever needs help, for whatever reason, she must know that coming to me will only get her arrested for trespassing.” He stood up and left the room.
***
Nanny found me in the laundry room, ironing one of my blouses.
“Let me do that for you,” she offered.
“I can’t. If my father found out, he’d kick me out, or you, or both of us.” I was all red again. “Besides, I missed supper last night. I’m hungry.”
Nanny sat down and watched me finish up. I cleaned up the room and swept the floor. Two hours of work were finished. I got to have breakfast now. I felt pretty pleased with myself. Nanny didn’t look all that happy.
She followed me up to the kitchen. Most of the leftovers from breakfast were gone, but a piece of hard toast was left, so was some jam. I ate in standing, off to the side so I wouldn’t be in the way.
The staff gave me mean looks. They’d probably wanted my help in here today, but I needed clean clothes to wear tomorrow. My skirts still weren’t dry. They needed all day. I’d iron them before I went to bed. The pleats in them required patience to do correctly.
Nanny’s eyes were taking in everything. She didn’t say anything, but I could tell she was thinking about something that didn’t please her.
I finished my toast and washed up my plate. I helped clean up in the kitchen.
When all the breakfast things were put away, I went back to Nanny. I wanted to offer her something to drink, but I wasn’t allowed to offer my father’s things away.
“Would you like to go for a walk in the gardens?” I asked her nervously. Her opinion of me must be pretty low in the meantime. She was frowning.
“That would be lovely.” She smiled at me, and I led the way. I loved playing in the gardens as a child. I hid out here a lot. No one ever seemed to notice.
No one cared; that was the truth. I hung my head a little as I walked next to Nanny. What must she think of me?
“I’m sorry, Nanny,” I whispered. She must be thinking that if everyone here hates me then there was probably a good reason for that.
“You’re a very good girl, Amelia. You’ve done nothing to be ashamed of. Your father is the one who should be ashamed.”
“Did he tell you what I did?” I asked in a small voice.
“Tell me what you did?” She looked a little confused.
“I killed my mother.” Tears were spilling out again. “I swear I didn’t mean to,” I whispered.
“I know you didn’t. It really wasn’t your fault. These things happen. Usually no one is to blame. Please, don’t think it was your fault.”
I nodded, but I didn’t believe her. I’d just heard it too often. It was impossible to believe something new now.
We walked on in silence. She asked me about school. I told her this and that. She’d be continuing my education. She said she expected me to take that very seriously.
When we came back to the house, Sir was there, waiting for us.
I blushed red, thinking about what had happened yesterday.
He touched my cheek and smiled at me.
I had to fight not to burst out in tears. Today was just too much for me again. I needed to be tougher.
My father showed up again and sent me off. I went slowly wondering if Sir would say that I should stay. They sat down to lunch.
I went to my room. I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. Maybe it would be better to just leave and work on taking care of myself before I had to take care of a husband and his needs.
Chapter 4 – Shopping
“Brian, have you thought this the whole way through? I mean if you marry her, then you can’t marry a nice girl from a good home.” James wanted Brian to see the light. He owed that to his friend who had passed on already. Brian’s father wasn’t here to warn or stop him. That job fell to him.
Brian laughed, “You mean your daughter doesn’t come from a good home?”
“Brian, it was a special circumstance, and you know it. If things would have been different back then, – but they weren’t. She’ll only embarrass you.”
“That’s what Nanny Prim is for.” He answered as he took a bite of the Quiche.
“I can imagine what her real duties are going to be.” He dabbed the corners of his mouth with his napkin before replacing it on his lap. “I’ve already told you that you can have her. You don’t have to go to extremes. Take her, have your pleasure, and when you don’t want her anymore, you can get rid of her easily. However, if you marry her, and then you find someone better, and you will, you’ll have to pay her a fortune to get rid of her.”
James paused for a minute, “I’m just trying to look out for you.”
“I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. You need not worry about me.”
“Really? A pediatrician, who has his own little girl, waiting for him at home with her nanny, and I shouldn’t worry. This could ruin your career, over – her. She isn’t worth it.”
“Amelia’s perfect. She fulfills all of my requirements: she’s beautiful, young, inexperienced, and no one will miss her. You’ve made that quite clear. You’re the one who made her perfect for me. She’ll even be grateful for every bit of attention she gets from me. She’ll be happy with me.” The amusement in his eyes was clear.
“Yes, but why marriage?” James was giving up.
“Marriage will make everything that happens legal. As you said, I have a very promising career on the line.”
James shrugged.
Nanny Prim was very quiet.
***
“Amelia?” There was a knock on the door. I wiped my tears and went to answer it.
Nanny smiled at me again. I didn’t think that I fooled her in any way. She was looking right at my eyes. “Amelia, we’re leaving now, but we’ll be back again tomorrow if we can make it.”
I nodded. It would be less embarrassing if they didn’t see what my life here was like. I was glad that they were leaving.
“What did you have for lunch?” She tilted her head. She looked like she expected a lie.
“I didn’t. I couldn’t.” I must have looked a little confused because she started explaining how important meals were.
“Nanny, I realize that. It was just that – I wasn’t allow bec
ause I didn’t help out.” I met her eyes, and I saw when understanding hit.
“Two hours for each meal?” Her forehead wrinkled up.
I nodded. “I’ll get busy right away, and then I’ll have supper this evening. You don’t have to worry about me, really you don’t.” I dropped my voice. “I’m used to this. It’s okay.”
Nanny nodded, still frowning. She turned and left.
I was relieved that they were gone. I went to the kitchen and helped out until supper.
The next day, they didn’t come. I managed to remain in the shadows all day. It was better when my father didn’t see me.
But the next morning, Nanny showed up even before I’d woken up. She helped me get up and dressed. She had me wear my jeans with my school blouse.
I explained that I wasn’t allowed to wear them. Sir had been very clear. She said we had a couple of errands to run in the city, and that my jeans would be better for that.
The limo was waiting again.
Nanny explained that we’d be shopping today, but mostly we’d be looking for a wedding dress.
“He’s spending too much money on me. I honestly don’t need all that much.”
“It’s making him very happy. I’ve been instructed to let you have any wedding dress you want. Start thinking about what you’d like.”
I smiled. A wedding dress is something most women start thinking about when they’re little girls. I was no exception.
“Do you already have something in mind?” Nanny looked pleased.
I nodded. “Mostly I know what I don’t want. I don’t want a veil. I’d rather have the top bit of my hair braided back in swoops with white roses in them. No train but a southern belle like dress, that’s tight in the middle and then opens out really wide.” I stopped, blushing.
Nanny looked very happy. “That saved us a lot of time. Tomorrow you two will be meeting with the pastor who will be marrying you. Every day is planned up until the wedding, he has to work, the builders are still working on your room, and the wedding itself. We still have so much to do.”
I nodded at Nanny. I hoped that she’d be telling me what I all needed to do.
We stopped in front of a bridal shop. Nanny led me into the changing room. The shop assistant greeted us. We had an appointment. Nanny told her what I wanted, and she ran off.
I loved the first dress I tried on. I looked like the southern belle that I wanted to look like. My shoulders were bare. The sleeves were short and off the shoulder. The dress itself was very plain, but it had pearls sewed into the bodice that gleamed as I turned.
I twirled in front of the mirror. Nanny insisted that I try on another dress, but I didn’t care for it. I wanted the first one.
Nanny also helped me pick out my under things for the wedding night. That was getting closer too. I was very nervous about that. At school, we’d had that topic in health. But it had concentrated on how a baby grew. Not how they were actually made. I’d embarrass myself terribly.
I also knew that it would be painful. A few girls at school had already lost their virginity. They whispered to each other that it just plain hurt. I was scared. Thoughts of backing out popped back into my mind.
Nanny took me to a normal department store. We stuck to the dress department just like sir wanted. I did a lot of twirling when I was alone. The dresses that I got were all very decent, nothing too short or too tight.
He’d been worried about his reputation. These were all good signs. I was starting to feel very good about everything. Obviously, he didn’t just want me for sex. I was very relieved about that. I realized that most of my fears all turned out to be nothing to worry about.
We went to a huge hotel for lunch. Nanny let me wear one of the dresses right away. It was a light summer dress in a light pink with a bit of lace on it. It was the prettiest thing that I’d ever owned.
Sir was waiting for us at one of the tables. He stood up as we approached him. He looked pleased.
This was the first time he’d seen me in something other than my uniform. He pulled out my chair for me and helped me sit down.
A waiter showed up out of nowhere and asked what we wanted to drink.
“May I have lemonade, please?” I asked him. He smiled and then told the waiter. Nanny wanted coffee and so did he.
“Do you drink coffee?” he asked.
“No, not yet,” I answered.
He laughed, “What do you mean, not yet?”
“I don’t like how it tastes. Maybe when I’m older.” I shrugged my bare shoulders.
He looked very amused with me again. Nanny helped me pick out what I was going to eat. We enjoyed our meal together, and I watched what Nanny was doing, so I guessed I did everything right.
Before he left he kissed me on my forehead. Nanny praised me again. We still had a full day of shopping ahead of us again. More shoes and socks and under things for everyday.
When the day was done, I had so much stuff. Nanny had it all sent to his house. Before I knew it, it was time to eat again. We went to the same hotel as this afternoon.
Nanny and I sat down. She took the menu and picked out three dishes, which she felt would be appropriate for me to eat. Quietly, she whispered in my ear, which were the healthiest. She told me to pick one, and I did. She chose another. She told me she’d be watching my meals more closely. I wouldn’t be eating old toast under her watch.
“Yes, Nanny.” I was so glad that she was taking an interest in my life.
Sir showed up then. “Sorry, I got a little held up.” He kissed me on top of my head before he sat down. “I’m sorry sweetheart, but that happens a lot. You’ll have to get used to it.” He looked into my eyes.
I nodded; I’d figured something like that. That was the reason he’d insisted on Nanny.
He looked over at Nanny then. “Did you accomplish everything on your list?”
“Yes, easily. Amelia was quick to pick out her things. She picked very sensible things. We only picked out summer clothes. In fall, we’ll have to go again.”
“Of course, Nanny,” he answered her very respectively.
He turned his attention to me again. “The next two days we won’t be able to see each other. Our trip to the pastor has been postponed. I’ll pick you up on Saturday morning. You’ll be staying with Nanny and me until the wedding. I promise to be the perfect gentleman.” He smiled.
I knew that we were waiting with the wedding until after my period was over. The gynecologist had asked me questions about that before she had – examined me. The wedding was to be the next Saturday. I smiled at him and nodded, showing that I believed him.
We ate quietly. The silence was only broke when he asked this or that. He admitted that he was very curious about the wedding dress. I blushed deeply again.
“She told me what she envisioned in the car. She picked the first one she tried on.” Nanny smiled at him.
“It was just like the one I describe to you. It was – it.” I shrugged my shoulders again.
It was a warm evening, but it was getting cooler. Nanny had thrown my jeans away at the store, claiming I wouldn’t need them ever again. Nanny had a bag in the limo with the things she wanted me to wear the next couple of days. There was a very soft white sweater in the bag too. I’d put it on right away when we left.
“I’m glad you found it so quickly,” Sir laughed.
Nanny called him Sir too. I avoided calling him anything. Not knowing his name had my mind up and wondering. I imagined terrible names like Hitler or a name that he just personally hated. It was quite a mystery. Those thoughts took my mind off of other things though.
“I’ll be looking through the things that you two picked out. I’ll send back anything that doesn’t fit my – Shall we say dress code.” He raised an eyebrow.
I was wearing my favorite dress from the day. I planned to wear it often. “That’s fine. We got so much that I probably wouldn’t notice,” I reassured him.
That had him laughing again.
&nbs
p; “Nanny, may she have a dessert tonight?” He left his eyes on me as he asked.
“Definitely, she was very well behaved today. No fussing, complaining or begging, for that matter. She listened to my recommendations.” Nanny looked very proud of me.
He called the waiter who brought over a wagon with different desserts. I chose one.
Sir asked if it had alcohol in it.
It did so I had to pick something else. I got a very decadent piece of chocolate cake. There was so much chocolate in it that it gave me a headache.
Sir noticed right away when I touched my forehead with my fingers. He looked at Nanny who said she had something in her purse for that. She asked me to come with her to the ladies room.
I hoped she did have something that could put a stop to this. I was getting dizzy too.
“Now Amelia, listen closely.” She was removing a funny looking torpedo thing from its foil. “I want you to go the bathroom, and then when your finished, I want you to push this up your anus. Can you do that?”
I must have looked a bit horrified, because she gave me a strict look before she continued, “This will make everything feel better in a half hour. It’s a two-hour ride home, and he’s coming with us. You don’t want to get car sick, do you?”
“I can do it,” I assured her.
It wasn’t as bad as I thought. I went back to Nanny who looked very pleased. We then went back out to Sir who stood up as we approached the table again. He gently placed his hand under my elbow and guided me to my chair again. “Thank you, Nanny.”
He sat back down and called for the bill.
I glanced wistfully at my cake.
“Don’t even think it.” He used his strict voice again.
He paid the waiter and put his wallet away. Nanny went on ahead, and he walked me slowly to the car. “I’m sorry that today was a bit too much for you. You’re probably very tired?”
“I’m fine, really. It was just the cake. It was too rich for me. I’ll stick with milk chocolate from now on.” I nodded at him. He had his arm around my waist, and he looked at me like I was the cutest thing in the world.