by Rachel Burns
After that, I went to my room and cried all weekend. I’d cried so much that I’d made myself sick. The nuns all said, ‘see it was a good thing we gave the part to someone else because I was sick anyway.’
“Amelia?” I felt a hand on my face. Daddy was kneeling next to me. He looked so worried. I threw my arms around his neck and held him tightly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nanny leave.
It was already getting dark outside, but I held onto my Daddy. I was even whispering, Daddy, over and over again, like a mantra.
In the end, he picked me up and carried me up to bed. He changed me into pajamas right in the bed. He cuddled up next to me, and we fell asleep early.
Yesterday had been especially odd. Both Nanny and I had gone to great pains to make sure I didn’t have to write anything. The day had dragged on until Daddy came home. He’d even looked relieved to see me at the table when he came in. He had gifts for us, a couple books for Nanny and a box for me.
Daddy had a large grin on his face as he watched me open it. It was a beautiful locket. It had a picture of him and one of Nanny in it. It was engraved even, For My Little Sweetheart.
He put it on me again and adjusted it in the front so it lay just right. I hadn’t seen the sapphire necklace since we got home. I imagined that he removed it in the night while I slept.
We ate then, and he asked Nanny questions about the other Daddies who had wives at the schools.
He liked the idea of having friends who wouldn’t think it at all odd that a man would dress his wife up like a little girl.
He didn’t say it in as many words, but he was thinking it loud enough.
We made love several times that night. He was probably thinking about all the women in school uniforms he’d be seeing tomorrow.
Chapter 16 – Visiting School
Brian held Amelia while she slept. Somehow the words, Am I your good deed for the day? were stuck in his head. She’d asked him that, the first day that they’d met. Today he’d done right by her.
The way she’d held onto him, needing him and saying Daddy had touched his heart. He’d fallen in love with her in that moment.
She was more than just a woman that he could mold into being the type of woman that he needed. She was, Amelia, his precious little wife, and she needed him.
Amelia was so much more than he’d hoped for. She’d thrive with this type of life.
Brian kissed her forehead and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, breathing in the scent of her. She was the person that he was closest to in the entire world, his soul mate. She was truly the counterpart to him that God had made extra for him.
The pastor had been right: marriage was a blessing. He couldn’t take her for granted.
He kissed her again and thought about the school that they’d go to tomorrow. When he thought about that, he had a feeling like a goose was walking over his grave. He feared that she’d someday leave him. Now that he loved her, he knew it would devastate him.
Brian needed her to act the way she had today. He felt so accepted for who he really was, and what he really was when she did that.
He was her strong daddy, who could make everything better for her. He was the person that he needed to be.
Only she could make him feel that way.
She had more power over him than he had over her, and she didn’t even know it.
Brian worried about several things in the night. He worried that someone could find out about him. He worried that another daddy could turn Amelia’s head.
But the worry that was foremost in his head was a worry that the other girls would reject his baby and hurt her.
***
We got up very early. Daddy had Nanny get me dressed and ready. She dressed me in my old school uniform. The only difference was that I now had a golden locket around my neck.
Daddy adjusted it again at breakfast. I figured that I’d be wearing this everyday unlike the necklace from a couple of days ago.
We drove to school in the limousine. School had already started. We were supposed to come an hour later. Daddy held my hand tightly as we walked into the school.
Daddy was talking to Nanny about how he liked the security we’d passed through to get up this far.
Daddy led me through thick wooden double doors. The school was gray stoned with ivy growing up the walls. The windows were all double windows with an arch on top.
Inside the floors were all wooden. There were no lockers or anything modern. They had hooks outside of the classroom for hanging up coats. There were oriental rugs on the floor and wooden cushioned armchairs next to tables with lamps on them. There were sofas and coffee tables with today’s newspaper on it. It looked warm and welcoming.
“Good morning,” a beautiful woman called out to us. She went right to Daddy and shook his hand. “I’m the headmistress. We’re so glad that someone with your prestige is considering our school for his little girl. You must be Amelia.” She turned to me and offered her hand.
I stepped behind Daddy’s arm a little, but I did reach out and shake her hand from my safe place behind Daddy.
“She’s a little shy,” Daddy explained.
“That’s fine. I prefer quiet children to wild ones,” she smiled at me.
I relaxed a little and smiled back.
“Good morning, Nanny Prim,” she smiled warmly at Nanny now. “If you’ll follow me, then we can begin the tour.”
She took us to a music room and asked if I could play an instrument. She was disappointed when I said no.
“She’ll be starting piano lessons as soon as I can find someone appropriate for her.” Daddy informed her. He wanted us to make a good impression.
“You’ll have better luck with that in September. They’re all on summer vacation at the moment, but I’ll gladly give you a list that we’ve accumulated,” the headmistress offered.
Daddy gave Nanny a nod. It would be her job to find and pick one.
The headmistress then led us to an art room. I whispered to Nanny that I wasn’t good at art either. Nanny smiled and nodded.
“What do you mean either? What do you think you aren’t good at?” The headmistress had heard me talking.
Daddy answered her, “Amelia will be tested for dyslexia next week. She has problems with penmanship and writing, but I’m sure that you’ll find her otherwise not lacking. Amelia is a very bright little girl. She’d be an asset to your school.”
“Yes, I’m sure she would be. Nanny Prim was kind enough to fax me Amelia’s school records. They were very impressive.”
I blushed and hid behind Daddy again who didn’t appear to notice.
She showed us the garden where we were allowed out by nice weather. The school dining hall was very fancy. She explained that good nutrition was imperative to good learning.
Daddy couldn’t agree more.
She gave him a sample menu to study. Extra wishes such as vegetarian meals were not a problem here.
Daddy looked impressed. He looked ready to sign me up right away.
I wanted to see the other girls first.
The moment was here. The headmistress knocked on a door and waited for the teacher to answer it.
I held on to Daddy’s hand as if my life depended on it. He was very calm about everything. He smiled at me and turned my locket just so before we went in.
As the headmistress entered the room, all the girls stood up.
“We have visitors today who would like to sit in on our class.” The teacher called out to the class.
“Good morning,” the class called out in unison.
“Good morning,” Daddy answered back. He was still holding my hand.
The teacher smiled at him and ushered him and Nanny to two chairs set up in the back of the class. “Sir, a chair for you, and one for Nanny Prim. And Amelia you get to sit with the other girls.”
She led me to an empty chair right in the middle of the classroom. I was surrounded by other girls who were just like me. They mostly had the
ir eyes on me. However, some were ogling Daddy.
Most smiled at me. I smiled back shyly.
The teacher took her place at the front of the classroom. She was teaching algebra at the moment. I noticed that the headmistress had left. I knew we’d be in here for a couple of hours, watching. The teacher taught a bit, and then she started asking the girls questions. The math was pretty simple, but I figured that because this was summer school that the girls hadn’t passed it the first time around.
It gave me a chance to look around. The room was all dark wood. The walls were painted in a dark rose color with a few pictures on the walls. The desks were all the old fashioned kind, similar to mine at home, all in dark wood just like the teacher’s desk was too.
“Amelia, you too would be expected to pay attention if you joined our school.”
I stood up like the others had when they answered questions. “Yes, ma’am. The answer is nine, ma’am.”
She was holding out the chalk in my direction. She looked very surprised. I looked back at Daddy who I could tell was doing the math in his head.
“Would you please come here and show us how you got that answer.” The teacher was frowning. The other girls were snickering. My first impression was shot to hell.
I stepped forward and thanked her for the chalk. I went to the board and reached up. I quickly started writing how I’d gotten my answer. I had to erase a backwards three, but I did so quickly with the side of my hand. I was finished in less than half a minute. I gave the teacher her chalk back while she looked over what I’d written.
“Very good. Thank you, Amelia.” She motioned with her head that I could sit down again.
Daddy was beaming with pride as I did. Nanny nodded in approval.
“Well, Math seems to be one of your strong points. We’ll be turning to History now. Amelia, we’re learning about the Prohibition.”
I nodded back at her. I was paying attention.
“How well did we do our reading homework? Who can tell me who Scar Face was?” The teacher smiled. She looked around the room. No one had raised their hands.
I’d always hated that when it happened. I’d already answered the question in my head, and I was ready for the next one. I looked back at Nanny and Daddy. Nanny looked like she expected me to do something, and Daddy was starting to look bored.
I looked back at Nanny who nodded. I faced front and raised my hand.
The teacher was standing right in front of me. “Amelia, do you know the answer?”
I stood next to my desk to answer her question. Some of the older nuns had made us do that too. I was used to it. “Al Capone, ma’am.”
I was sitting down again when she asked and who was Al Capone.
I stood up again and answered that he was the Mafia boss in Chicago during prohibition. “He’d bootlegged alcohol into the city, even though it had been forbidden back then.”
“Who prohibited it?” she asked me again.
“The eighteenth amendment of the constitution, which was passed by congress in 1919.” I could hear Daddy stifling a laugh behind me.
“Well, well. I’d say that at least one of you did your homework, but our visitor had no knowledge of what our homework was.” She nodded at me that I may sit down.
“You were warned yesterday that we’d be having visitors. I’d asked that you all be prepared and none of you were. We won’t be going outside this afternoon. We’ll be staying in tomorrow too. Clara will you please stand and read page sixty-seven out loud.”
A girl in the front roll stood and began reading basically what I’d just summarized. After she read, the teacher asked more questions.
One girl was nervous as soon as her name was called out. She stood up next to her desk and held on to it in a way that said that she could be seated in a flash.
The teacher asked her a question out of the text that had just been read. The girl didn’t know the answer. After a loud sigh, the teacher called her to the front of the class. I wondered if she’d make her write the right answer on the board.
The girl folded her hands together and leaned over the teacher’s desk with her backside to the class. The teacher got what I’d guess to be a switch, and then she told her to raise her skirt. The girl did.
My jaw dropped, and I pressed back into my seat. I hadn’t expected it. These girls were really just like me. The girl behind me placed her hand on my shoulder. I wasn’t sure if it was for moral support or if it was a warning, but my hand went to hers. I was shaking when the teacher started whipping the poor girl. The whip landed on her ten times, and then the teacher sent her back to her seat. The girl was red faced and crying.
I was crying too. The girl behind me withdrew her hand before the teacher turned to look at the class again. The same question was asked, and the next girl knew the answer. I was nervous that she’d call on me, and I wouldn’t know the answer.
The teacher changed the topic again and wandered over to my desk. She asked me if I knew who Mr. Darcy was.
I exhaled, in relief, before I stood up. “Mr. Darcy is one of the main characters in the book Pride and Prejudice. He’s prideful, and Elisabeth is prejudice.”
The teacher turned and walked back up to the front of the classroom. I slowly sat back down. I’d had the feeling that she wanted me to answer wrong.
Would Daddy have let her hit me?
I looked back at him, and he smiled and gave me a quick nod. I looked back to the front. Most of the girls had done this reading. Someone always raised their hand and knew the answer.
I was glad when a bell rang. The girls all stood up after the teacher dismissed them to lunch.
I quickly glanced at the girl behind me. She was beautiful with long blond hair and blue eyes. I had never in all my life seen anyone prettier than her. She gave me a brief smile and sashayed out of the room.
I looked at the girl that had been whipped too. She didn’t seem to be as phased by it as I was.
I went back to Daddy and Nanny. I felt that I didn’t have any more blood in my face. I wanted to beg them not to send me here. The headmistress showed up then, inviting us to have lunch at her table.
Daddy took me by the hand again. We followed her back into the dining hall. The room was only being used to a fourth of its capacity.
We sat at a table that was risen up higher than the other tables. Daddy sat next to the headmistress, and I sat on his other side. The teacher from just now was also at the table with us. She talked to Nanny. The school nurse also joined us.
I listened to the headmistress talk to Daddy. He wanted to know how many girls attended the school. They talked about this and that. Daddy was very relaxed. I could tell that he’d already decided that this was the right way to go.
The headmistress explained about the parents’ nights. There would be one the evening school started for just the Daddies, and then in the middle of October one where the Daddies got to talk to the teachers one on one.
Before Christmas, there would be a night where the little girls got to show their Daddies the school themselves and give performances. The Nannies were also invited to the Christmas program.
The teacher praised me to the whole table. She told them how I’d jumped right in and took part in class. Nanny told her how I thrived on being asked questions. I wanted to tell her that was back then. I’d never raise my hand again, for fear of answering wrong.
The school nurse also had questions she wanted to ask Daddy. They were very interested in his doctor skills. I could tell that they wanted him to sent me here because they wanted him to be a part of all of this, whatever this was.
They asked if they could recommend him to the other Daddies. They explained that it was sometimes difficult to find a doctor who understood that little girls needed to be punished sometimes.
Daddy nodded, understanding the problem. He gave his permission. He looked forward to meeting the other Daddies very much. After he said that, I knew that the nails had been pounded into my coffin, and it wa
s sealed.
The headmistress asked about my dyslexia test. Daddy explained that an expert would be coming to the house to test me. He explained about my handwriting, and why I sometimes wrote things backwards. They all listened very avidly to his speech. They were hanging on his every word. He made it clear that I wasn’t to be punished for it.
They all agreed with him after his speech, it would have been impossible to say anything else. He just had the aura of a man who knew what he was talking about.
I looked around the room at the other girls while Daddy talked about obtaining uniforms and things. The other girls were all exceptionally beautiful. They all had the same uniform on. I liked it better than mine. Mine was gray and theirs were navy blue pleaded skirts with green and maroon stripes, a white blouse and a green tie and a navy blue blazer or vest or sweater, and of course knee high socks in white. I looked at their shoes. Very elegant, but I liked mine the best. I was wearing my black Mary Jane’s.
I noticed that a lot of the girls were still staring at Daddy. I also noticed that Daddy didn’t give any of them a second glance. He was only interested in the school and not in looking at the other girls.
I don’t know why that surprised me, but I seemed to have assumed that someone with his tendencies would at least look. But he didn’t.
He looked over at me a lot but never at the girls. I guess he’d meant it when he said he’d be faithful to me.
Most of the girls had finished eating. They laid their cloth napkins next to their plates and got up. They stayed in the room.
This was the moment I’d been waiting for. By watching how they interacted with each other I could guess how they’d act with me.
The girl who had gotten punished had a couple of friends who she talked to. The other girls looked like they were mingling at a party they’d talk to someone for a short bit and moved on to the next girl. Two girls sat at the table talking. One was still eating.