by Rachel Burns
We stayed in a small local hotel. It was so different from everything else. I was tired from so much travel, but because he didn’t speak German and I did, I got to order for him.
He was still in a very good mood. I figured that he had made lots of money the last couple of days.
We went to an amusement park the next day. We went on rides and ate cotton candy. We looked at sharks and seahorses. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before.
I was having so much fun with him. He was acting so normal, and he wore shorts and a t-shirt like everyone else.
We just had fun even if we were doing little kid stuff.
We even watched a show; acrobats from China were there. Odd, but I felt like a normal couple that day. They even had fireworks in the evening.
We walked through the park hand in hand.
Daddy and I were both too tired to do anything but sleep when we got back to our room.
The next morning, we slept in.
I wondered if we’d go back to the amusement park. We didn’t check out of our room so I knew we’d be sleeping here again tonight.
Daddy had dressed me in a nicer dress. He was driving off somewhere new. He was using a navigation system. I was surprised when he pulled into a parking lot and put away the computer less than half an hour later.
“This is where we’re going today,” he announced.
“What’s here?” I asked him.
“You’ll see.” He looked really pleased with himself.
I got out of the car and went to his hand. We went around a corner. There was a big round building and a statue craved into a wall. It was a teddy bear in a circle and an elephant on top of the wall.
Daddy bought tickets, and we went into a small room and looked at room with an old fashioned sewing machine in it.
A movie started, telling us about a woman who made children’s clothes to make ends meet. Then she invented the first teddy bear.
The program continued as we walked through the museum. There was a true story about a sunken ship bound for America filled with 3000 teddy bears. That made me feel very sad. Daddy pulled me closer.
His eyes were dancing with delight as he watched me looking at all the stuffed animals they had. At the end, of the tour we were free to walk around, and then we watched a couple of women making teddy bears.
I was fascinated, and Daddy was thrilled that he’d found something childish that I liked.
When we were finished, we walked down a set of stairs. Daddy stopped me before he opened the door to go out.
I expected him to warn me to behave.
“Amelia, we’re going into the shop now. I really don’t want you to be shy. You can have anything and everything you want. Please, don’t make me sad by just picking out one thing. This is my chance to make up for what I did to you with the doll. Please, I need this to feel better about that.” He looked at me for a while.
I didn’t react at all, not knowing how to react.
He opened the door, and we stepped out into the salesroom.
“Wow.” I took a step back.
Daddy was reaching for a shopping bag to put the things you wanted in. He stood waiting.
“Really, anything I want?” This was too good to be true. There in front of my eyes was an entire zoo of things I wanted.
“And everything. You don’t even need to look at the price tags.”
“Daddy, they have clothes too.” I stepped forward. My fingers reached for T-shirts with little teddy bear faces on the sleeves and dresses with teddy bear faces on the left arm. Just like the polo t-shirts have but so much cuter.
“It’s a shame they’re just for children.” I hang a tiny pink-checkered dress back on the rack. I still stared at it. It had roses on it made out of pale pink ribbons with light green ribbons for the leaves. It was just adorable.
“I wish I could shrink and fit into it.”
“You know we can buy this dress and take it home with us, and I can go to a seamstress, and she can make you one in your size.”
My jaw dropped as I looked at Daddy. I shook my head. “Tempting, but the style isn’t right either. I have – you know.” I looked down at my breasts and turned red.
“The seamstress would take that into account.”
“Are you serious? That’s possible?” I was really thinking about it. I was in love with not only this dress but also several others I saw hanging around and the little blouses and pajamas.
“I’m dead serious.” He was waiting for me to say yes.
He was saying yes to this. Of course, he was they were little girl’s clothes, but they were the cutest little girl clothes in the whole wide world.
I mean, if you’re going to pretend to be a little girl, then you should at least have the cutest things possible. I was picturing myself twirling again.
I remembered what I told myself about women a hundred years ago. They got to wear things like this.
I eyed Daddy again. “If you’re really serious, then you’re going to have to set a limit because I pretty much want everything I can see.”
He laughed then. “Should I go look for an assistant?”
“Yes, and we need a couple more of those bags.” I’d already started in laying dresses that I liked over my arms.
Daddy came back a bit later alone. They just have one girl at the cash register. They’ll be sending somebody. Give me that pile. I’ll take it.”
“If this is too much, just say so. I’ll understand. I even have pajamas. They could go back. I have pretty much taken one of everything.”
Daddy was already gone with my pile. I found towels and blankets with teddy bear faces on them. My arms were full again.
“Excuse me, miss, I was called to help you.”
“That’s Mrs. - ” and then Daddy said our last name. The man was impressed. His eyes lit up. “We want to really surprise my niece with a new wardrobe,” Daddy told him.
“I think I have one of everything already.” Daddy was taking the blankets and towels from me. “It isn’t too much is it?”
“Think about Christmas. We won’t have to go shopping later.”
“True.” I did see his reasoning. It was better when I picked out my stuff myself. What we really didn’t need was a repeat of the doll present.
“What I can offer you is: a peek in our winter catalog. You could tell me what you need, and I’ll have it sent to America.”
“Can we?” I looked at Daddy.
“That’s a great idea.” Daddy looked about as happy as I’d ever seen him.
The man bowed to us, and Daddy took the things in his arm off to the cash register.
Being finished with clothes, I now turned to the teddy bears. I hugged one here and one there. I wanted a soft one. They had the original hard ones, but I wanted a friend to cuddle with. I had it down to two by the time Daddy came back from the cash register.
“That’s it? No more arms full?” he laughed at me.
“I just want a friend, not a zoo.”
“You can have as many as you want, sweetheart.” He looked so serious. “Don’t think that because you got clothes that you need to save on toys.”
“Toys? A teddy bear isn’t a toy. He’s a friend.” I was a little upset that I had to explain that to Mr. Doll Collector.
“I was just thinking that they’d look great in your room up on your bookshelves.”
“You mean I don’t get to play with them?” Tears were honestly building in my eyes.
“No, of course not. I meant for when you weren’t playing with them. I was thinking one on your bed, one on the window seat and six by your shelves. Something like that.”
“That’s eight of them. Could I give them all enough love?” I bit my lip, wondering. I’d imagined that he’d get me a teddy bear for Christmas and that I’d love it, but eight was really a lot.
Okay, now I was officially crazy. Now I believed that the stuff animals would feel lonely, if I didn’t give them enough attention.
&
nbsp; “Think about Christopher Robin, he had more than one, and the others were okay that he loved Pooh the most.”
I nodded at his reasoning. “True, but Daddy this is costing you and arm and a leg.”
“No, it isn’t. We’re rich this isn’t even costing me my little finger. Also, keep in mind that this is our honeymoon. We won’t be taking a trip like this again for years and years. You have to make the most of it now.”
“True, we probably aren’t ever going to come here again.”
Daddy opened the bag he was carrying.
“I still need a lot of time. They have to have just the right faces.” I wasn’t going to admit that I believed that I needed to find the animals that wanted me too. I was acting crazy enough already, but I guessed I had the right husband for that.
He truly did understand that, in every woman there was a little girl inside. He just had problems understanding that a woman was also in us.
The man came back with his catalog. I wasn’t finished yet. I was torn.
Daddy’s eyes were twinkling. He took the catalog and followed me around as I met the animals. The man was following Daddy. “Amelia, this would be perfect for Christmas.” He pointed to a blue velvet dress.
“I love that.” Daddy showed me this and that, and in the end, we picked out almost everything again. The dresses were just so precious.
I’d picked out my stuffed animals. I was now the proud owner of two teddy bears, a dog and crocodile, a cat, a turtle, a bunny and a mole named Diggy. The mole was just too cute to leave there.
I carried the bag with my babies in it, and Daddy had to walk to the car twice to get everything else in. I sat in the car and talked to my stuff animals.
Daddy drove us to a restaurant.
I hated leaving my stuffed animals in the car all alone. I ate quickly.
Daddy looked a little upset with me.
“Do you think that they’re getting enough air?” I asked when he wanted to order a dessert and drink coffee.
“As a doctor, I can reassure you that they’ll be just fine.” He nodded at me. He couldn’t hide his smile.
“I suppose you’re right.” I laid my hands on the table and quietly waited for Daddy to finish his coffee.
After he was finished, we went back to our room. Daddy packed the clothes that we bought, and I played with my animals. Daddy was very pleased with me, and I was having a ball, playing with my first friends ever.
I pretended Mr. Crocodile was biting the toes of the others. They all giggled. Daddy was beaming with pride too.
I thanked him a thousand and one times for them.
Daddy had never been happier. He told me to bring them to bed so we could take a walk.
I laid them on the chair we had in our room. I hummed as I cuddled them all together.
I went to Daddy, and we walked hand in hand for a couple of hours. We talked a little about what we were seeing. Nothing deeper than that, but we were happy.
This is what my life was like now.
He wanted me to be happy with him.
My father hadn’t cared about my happiness. This was really a lot better than that.
Daddy was maybe strict, but he cared a lot too.
I laid my head on his shoulder as we walked.
Chapter 10 – Daddy’s Birthday
Brian smiled over at Amelia. She looked especially beautiful with this old city as her background.
Amelia looked like a woman should. She was wearing a short beige-colored dress with matching shoes. It was a dress like lots of women wore, but on her it looked sweet.
He was pleased with her long hair. It was really her crowning glory. He’d brushed it for her and then braided the upper half into a simple French braid. He was getting really good with it.
The matching ribbon in her hair didn’t make anyone give her weird glances. The women here accepted that women wanted to look pretty and feminine. Amelia fit right in.
He was certain that she’d had fun the last couple days, especially today. The way she’d looked at all the toys and the dresses.
She hadn’t been playing a game with him. She really wanted those things.
They were on the same wavelength he just had to do some fine-tuning, so they’d matched up perfectly.
He’d been naïve to think that everything would fall into place right after the wedding. They both needed time to adjust to each other. This was all working out, just perfect.
He thought back to how lovely she’d played with the stuffed animals in his practice. She’d been so adorable, and he had it on tape.
He watched it sometimes after she’d fallen asleep, but it was just too early for him to fall asleep. She was just so precious.
He’d been feeling so guilty about punishing her for being afraid of the doll. He should have dug deeper, asking her why she’d done what she had.
Why did he assume that there was something wrong with her?
He knew the answer.
It was so easy to assume that there was something wrong with her because there was something wrong with him.
Why did he need her to be this way?
There had to be something off balance with him. A normal man would look at Playboys, but Brian didn’t think that those women were sexy. Brian liked a woman in a pretty dress with puffed sleeves, lace and ribbons.
Old-fashioned dresses were just so feminine. He liked women who were still women and needed a strong man.
He wanted to be that strong man for Amelia.
Brian didn’t think there was anything sexy about children, or even his older patients who were already teenagers.
They weren’t like his Amelia. She was needy, and he needed to be needed. Perhaps, that was the attraction.
Whatever it was, he was hooked.
If she ever left him – He doubted that he’d find anyone else. This was a once in a lifetime chance.
He looked over at her again. She was being so quiet. She didn’t know what to say to him.
Brian racked his own brain, trying to think of something that he could say. He was hard put. He’d think of a topic, but then dismiss it.
Brian was asking himself about what opinion she’d have about this and that.
But if he talked to her like that, she may think that he was giving up on their lifestyle. He had to be satisfied with just holding her hand and walking with her.
Of course, she was smart. She’d have something intelligent to say about most topics. It wasn’t fair of him to push her down, to keep her in her place. But it wouldn’t be fair to expect her to talk like an adult in one moment and then expect her to be a child in the next, either. He’d end up having to punish her for that.
That wouldn’t be at all fair.
Brian looked over at her again. She smiled at him and said nothing. She went back to looking at the old buildings, which were lit up so the beauty of the city could be appreciated at nighttime, too.
He longed to know her mind. He longed to really talk to her. She was more than just a beautiful child that he could mold.
He wanted to feel a little resistance when he pushed on the surface of her personality.
He’d tried to joke with her before and had only ended up hurting her.
She was so sensitive.
Maybe the stuffed animals would help her work her way towards having a real personality. She could practice her social skills with them.
With time she could develop a personality that wasn’t just based on her neediness.
He’d really like that. A personality, where when she wanted something, she’d seek him out and tell him her wants and needs.
He wished that she’d ask him questions, like a curious child. He could explain the world to her then. Teach her to see things through his eyes.
Maybe with time they’d be able to talk to each other.
Amelia moved in a little closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. She was looking for his closeness. She wasn’t repulsed and pushing him away.
/> Amelia wasn’t just tolerating him, like she sometimes did. This was great.
He kissed the top of her head and leaned his head in towards hers as they walked on.
Brian brought her back to their hotel. It was already very quiet. This wasn’t a big hotel with someone at the desk around the clock, but a tiny one. Brian had to open the door with a key that they’d given him before he and Amelia had left.
Once they were in their room, he made quick work of getting undressed. Amelia was kneeling on the floor looking at her babies, the only ones he’d be able to give her. That thought saddened him, but she looked content enough at the moment.
“Amelia, sweetheart, time for bed. You have to pick out one to sleep with. Which one will be your Winnie-the-Pooh? Trust me the others will understand.”
She looked torn. This was a big decision for her. He even felt that she’d been quicker to agree to marry him than to pick out an animal.
She picked up a bear with a pink ribbon around its neck. It was the one he knew she was going to pick.
She peeked back at him to see if he approved.
He nodded, and she walked over to the bed, and laid the bear down on her pillow, before she went to him, so he could undress her.
His fingers went right to her neck and unzipped her dress. She wasn’t wearing her normal clothes but dresses that were perfect for summer. She was just a beautiful woman to anyone who saw her. People didn’t know she were prettier things at home for him.
Brian pushed the dress away from her shoulders.
Seeing her naked was always a treat. There was just something so vulnerable about her without her clothes on.
She was a real beauty. Her shoulders were soft and rounded. Not hard like his. He took a moment to gently caress her.
Her back still had bruises, but he liked the way it was wide at her shoulder and got smaller, tapering down to her waist.
Brian pushed the dress down even further. He bent down to help her get out of the dress. He liked her bottom, which was starting to fill out now that she was eating regularly.
Her legs were also very shapely as she bent a leg to lift it out of the dress. She was barefoot, having taking off her flats at the door when they came in.