by Rachel Burns
“What are you biting your lip about?” he teased her, wondering if she had another letter from school. The last thing that he wanted was to have to punish her. Not today.
Today was going to be something very special. This house hadn't seen a child's birthday party since his last one when he had turned ten.
It was about time that the laughter of children filled this house again.
***
I debated telling Daddy the truth. It was clear that he was in a good mood. I wanted to tell him. I was so far along that he couldn't make me get an abortion. A doctor would have to approve that.
Daddy was a doctor. I couldn't tell him. It was too risky.
The sides of my mouth pulled down.
“Is some sort of mischief going through your head?”
“Oh Daddy,” I sobbed. I wanted to confide in him and have him be happy, but that was just too far-fetched.
“Are you in pain?” he asked strictly.
“No, Daddy. I'm fine.” I wiped my tears away.
“I can see that something is wrong. Just tell me. We have one of those marriages where we tell each other everything.” His finger petted along my face.
“I need you so much,” I confessed.
“I need you too.”
“No, Daddy, I mean something else.”
“What do you need?”
“Love.” I needed unconditional love no matter what. I needed him to love me whether I was good or bad, happy or sad, young or old, and when I was pregnant. I also needed peace of mind. I needed to know that he wouldn't hurt the baby.
“Do you mean sex? Are you too shy to tell your Daddy that you need him.”
I nodded, taking the chicken's way out.
He kissed my lips so gently that he hardly touched them.
“Your wish is my command.” He pushed the blankets away from me. “You are so beautiful.” His eyes focused between my legs.
I always got nervous when he looked at me around that area. I was afraid that he would notice.
“Let's see if you are ready for Daddy.” Daddy's hand lay over my clitoris. His middle finger pushed its way between my folds and into me. His finger moved in and out of me while the palm of his hand pushed down, driving me wild. My hips rocked up to his hand.
“You have no idea how erotic you look when you do that. It makes me want to climb on top of you and enjoy the ride.”
“Okay,” I whispered. I had myself in check. I wasn't relaxed about sex yet. Not after him telling me that I had been too demanding.
Daddy opened my legs wider and lifted his leg over mine. Once his knee was in place, he lifted his other leg. His penis was already hard and ready for me. It looked too big to fit inside, but I knew that he was a perfect fit.
I pulled my knees into my stomach so Daddy could thrust into me better.
I gasped when he did. I had to bite my lips shut so I wouldn't beg him to continue. I knew he wouldn't, but the thought was just so terrible that I always ended up begging.
I couldn't keep my mouth closed anymore. I cried out his name and grabbed onto the pillow behind me.
“Daddy,” I cried, unable to hold back my pleasure.
I pushed up my hips to meet Daddy's thrusts. Daddy was gripping his fingers into my shoulders. He was holding me tightly. I feared that he was afraid that I would take off on him again during sex.
I raised my hips up, grinding them into him so I could have him inside me as deeply as possible. I had to come. I was burning for release.
Being pregnant had changed me. Every jolt of his body against mine, touching my sensitive bud, made me more needy, and I got wilder.
Daddy pushed deeper. He was biting his lips too.
My vision started to blur, and my head began to spin as my climax crashed over me. “Daddy, help me.” He nodded and thrust harder.
I let go of the pillow and wrapped my arms around him, holding him to my heart as I let my orgasm pulsate through me.
Daddy wasn't finished. He thrust on, as wave after wave washed over me.
Daddy collapsed beside me. A satisfied sigh escaped his lips in between his ragged breaths. We turned our heads and looked at one another.
“That was fast,” he commented.
I shrugged my shoulders and smiled at him.
“Life with you will always be interesting,” he informed me.
“You aren't going to scold me again, are you?” I asked, hoping that I hadn't done anything wrong.
“No, not today, it's time to get up and get dressed.” Daddy was in an especially good mood today. He had a smile on his face that stayed there while he dressed me.
He lovingly put a dark blue ribbon in my hair. I was wearing a sleeveless navy blue dress with white piping on the seams. I looked like I was going on a boat ride.
Daddy looked very satisfied.
He took my hand and walked me down to the dining room. I got the feeling that he was up to something.
My jaw dropped when I saw Nanny standing in front of our dining room table, which was loaded with colorfully wrapped presents.
“No.” I pulled my hand out of Daddy's and stepped back.
“Amelia, what's wrong,” Nanny asked.
“No. I don't want this. Get rid of everything.”
“Amelia, you are being a tad overdramatic.” Daddy took hold of my wrists and held me where I was.
I peeked over at the presents and tried to yank my hands free. I couldn't get away from him. “That's not okay. You should have asked. Take it all back.”
“No, Nanny and I went to a lot of trouble to make this day special for you.”
“But I don't want it. I never asked for any of that crap.”
Daddy's face changed in that moment. Gone was his concerned look. His spine straightened up, and he looked at Nanny. “If you will please excuse us, I need to have a private talk with my wife.” He then marched me back up the stairs.
I tried to drag my feet and get away from him, but he held me tightly. He dragged me over to his bed and sat down. He held onto my wrists with one hand while he pulled the footstool out from under his bed. I knew what that was for. Daddy was going to spank me, but good.
He jerked me down to his face. His lips were pressed together. “How dare you be so selfish?”
“But it's my birthday. I don't want anything. I just want to be left alone.”
Daddy gasped, shocked by my behavior.
I landed over his knees with a jolt. I tried to get my hands free to cover up my bottom. “I have the right to say no.”
“And I have the right to raise you as I see fit. Nanny and I have been planning this day for a long time. What you pulled was disrespectful. I have never seen you behave so badly.” He was able to get hold of both of my hands and pin them to my lower back.
My shoulders rocked back and forth. I wanted to get away from him.
“What I see here is a little girl who once again thinks that she is being unfairly spanked.” His hand smacked down, making me jump. “But doesn't Daddy always take the time to explain things, so you understand them?”
Each word was accompanied with a sharp stinging spank. “I can guess where you got the idea to think that you are not worth having a party. However, Nanny and I both think you are. We went to a lot of trouble to find you just the right presents and invite just the right girls to your party this afternoon. You will wash your face and then go downstairs and smile nicely as you open your presents.”
“No, I won't.”
“Yes, you will. This is a question of good manners. We went to a lot of trouble for you.”
“I can't. Not today.”
“Yes, today, because today is your birthday.” He kept spanking.
“But it's the anniversary of my mother's death. I can't be happy today.”
“Do you think that your mother would want you to insult us? I highly doubt that.” He spanked me harder and harder. “Your father may not have loved you, but I do. Nanny does too. Your mother would want you t
o have a nice day. I invited all of your friends here. They are looking forward to a nice afternoon here. You may not ruin that for everyone. Have I made myself clear?”
I kicked and fussed over his knees.
“You don't want to answer me? Not a problem. I'll get my riding crop. Let's see if that won't be able to get through to you.”
“No, Daddy! Please, don't. I'll be good.”
Daddy turned me, so I was looking at him. “I don't just want you to be good. I want you to feel that you are worth the trouble that we went to.”
“But I killed her. If it wasn't for me, she would still be here.”
Daddy closed his eyes. I saw the pain that he was trying to hide. “No you didn't. As a doctor, I can assure you that it wasn't your fault. A newborn baby can't even lift its head, much less kill someone.” He opened his eyes up and looked at me. His brown eyes were so brown and loving. “You had nothing to do with her death.”
“If I had never been, then she would be alive.”
“Sweetheart, you have to believe me. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Your father twisted things up in his head because he was sad about the loss of his wife. He took his pain out on you, and lied to you.”
I could hardly breathe as he spoke to me. The only time my father every talked to me was to drill in my head what a bad person I was. He had drilled too deep for me to start believing something else now just because Daddy said so. What my father had said made sense. I wouldn't like someone who killed someone I loved either.
I started to shake uncontrollably. I was shivering and cold.
“Amelia, no.” Daddy reached behind himself and ripped the blankets on the bed towards me, so I was covered up. “Sweetheart, are you going into shock?”
I looked at him confused. This was just something that he couldn't make all better, and it was also something that he couldn’t change my mind about with a spanking.
“Nanny Prim,” he called out. He called out several more times.
The door opened and Nanny peeked in. “Take Amelia, I need to get my bag.”
“What happened?” Nanny asked as Daddy moved me to his pillow.
“I tried to convince her that it wasn't her fault. I think she is in shock.” Daddy took off them.
“I know I'm right. He just doesn't understand.” I tried to explain to her.
“I know that he is right. A daddy always is.” She sat next to me and rubbed her hands over the blankets to keep me warm.
“I wish today was over.”
“Don't say that. Your birth is something we really want to celebrate.”
“My birth caused someone's death. You don't understand either.”
“Nanny, step aside.” Daddy was back. He moved the blankets, so my arm was free. He shot something into my arm.
“What was that, Daddy?” I asked him.
“Something to make you feel good about yourself. An antidepressant,” he whispered to Nanny.
“I'm not depressed.”
“It was medicine to let you know that you are worth a party and presents.”
I giggled. Whatever he had given me it was starting to work. “Who is coming to my party?”
“The smart little girls you play with at school,” he answered me with a smile on his face.
“Girls from good families,” I said. “But you shouldn't judge a family by how much money they have. You can never really see into a family, and understand what they are about if you don't live with them.”
“Of course, you are right, sweetheart.” Daddy sat down next to me and smiled at me.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, sweetheart.”
“I think my dress got all wrinkled up. I really like this dress. It's so summery.”
“One of the maids can iron it for you. I'll redo your hair, so you look perfect before everyone comes.”
“Okay. But I want you to promise me that there won't be a party next year.”
“Sure, sweetheart. No party.”
“I need to go to church to light a candle for my mother. I did that each year at boarding school. Someone has to think about her.”
“Fine, we'll go to church.”
“It has to be a catholic one. The Lutheran ones don't like it when you set fire to things.” That joke had me giggling again.
“I can't believe that you drugged her.” Nanny was mad at Daddy again. She was the only one who scolded him.
Sometimes, I wished I had her power.
“She will be fine in a moment. This will relax her and make her more manageable. She will end up enjoying herself. You'll see, Nanny.”
“Still, this can't be healthy.” Nanny shook her head at Daddy.
“Nanny, I really am a doctor. I know what I am doing.” Daddy stood up and looked down at Nanny.
They were going to fight. I had to stop them. “No. You can't fight. I don't like that. I'll be good. Just don't fight.”
“We aren’t fighting. We are just discussing something important,” Nanny informed me.
“A child needs happy parents. I don't feel happy when you discuss things,” I replied.
My hand went to my locket. Inside were pictures of them, the people who meant something to me.
“She's right. We can't upset the birthday girl. Who wants cake for breakfast?” Daddy was speaking so loudly that he sounded like someone introducing a circus act.
“I want cake.” I looked at him and hoped that he deemed me worthy of a cake breakfast.
“Nanny, how about you?” he asked.
“I want a corner piece,” she told him.
“Then let's get this show on the road.” He took hold of my hands and moved me, so I was sitting up. “Nanny, will you take Amelia's dress off to get ironed while I see to her pretty hair?”
“You think my hair is pretty?” I touched it after he pulled the dress up over my head.
“Yes, I do. You are especially pretty.” Daddy gave me a brilliant smile.
“I think you are pretty too.” I smiled at him.
He handed Nanny my dress, and she took it with her, mumbling that she hoped that this wouldn't backfire.
“Come with me to my bathroom. I'll brush your hair for you.”
I got up and went with him, thinking that I had never felt better in all of my life.
Once we were in the bathroom, I saw that my upper thighs were all red. “Will that ever go away?”
“It will be gone in an hour or so. Don't worry your pretty little head about that.”
I blushed because he called me pretty again. “Daddy, can I have shots like that one more often?”
“No. That was just because you were so upset, and today is a very special day.”
“I know. You told me. My friends are coming over to my house.” I told him that like it was a huge surprise that they would want to come.
“You little girls are going to have a lot of fun.”
“I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you more than you can imagine.” He brushed his finger against my cheek.
“Hey, that's my line.” I was pleased that he remembered.
When we returned home from church, I was given another piece of cake. I took a bite before I reached for the next present.
Daddy had gotten more animals to add to my zoo. I felt so light and happy. I smiled at him every time he lifted his camera up to take a picture.
Nanny stood next to me and smiled at me. I could see pity in her eyes. She was mad about Daddy drugging me.
Of course, that was something that a person really shouldn't do, but I didn't feel guilty for once. That was a great feeling. I wanted it to continue.
I liked being a loved little girl who got a party just for her and presents. My parents were both there by me. Not because they had to, but because they wanted to be there for me.
“This is my best birthday ever,” I whispered.
Nanny beamed at me, and then she gave Daddy a nice look. The ends were justifying the means.
&nbs
p; The doorbell rang, and the butler was letting people in.
“Drink another glass of water, Amelia.” She poured me a glass and gave it to me. “Her friends are going to notice.” Nanny was worried again.
I drank my water and set the glass down on the table.
“Amelia, come along. We need to greet your friends and make them feel welcome.”
The water was helping to clear my head a little, but the good feelings remained. I hugged my friends and thanked them for the gifts that they brought along for me. I was so moved.
Daddy stayed close to my side and talked about how happy he was.
That was the only thing that mattered. I was here to make Daddy happy.
The baby wouldn't make him happy.
But it took two to tango. Why was I the only one to carry the burden?
I pushed those feelings to the side, once again. Today was about my birthday party. I had to keep a smile on my face and be pleasant.
The medicine wouldn't be good for the baby.
Again I pushed that thought to the back of my mind. I needed to think about others today.
Daddy had all sorts of games planned for us to do.
There was a treasure hunt, with the treasure hidden in a real treasure chest. Inside were gifts for my guest. They each got a teddy bear.
My friends had smirked at my stuffed animal collection when I showed them my room, but they melted when they got one of their own, even Rose.
Daddy started to relax after the treasure hunt. He assured Nanny that the drug had worn off by now. He told her that I was really happy.
I wasn't so sure, but I was having a good time. If I was doing something wrong, then I could feel guilty about it tomorrow.
Daddy and his friends stood around the grill and made us our meat. We girls got to eat first, and then the Daddy's ate.
I saw my daddy giving a nanny a big piece of meat while she blushed at him. He was so nice.
The servants had set up a long table with different things for us to eat: salads, breads and desserts.