Grantville Gazette. Volume 21

by Eric Flint

  With an effort Hans returned his attention to the musket in his hands. It was, as Viktor had promised it would be, a used weapon, but in very good condition. That was something Viktor's reputation had promised. When you bought from him, you bought weapons you could rely on. He didn't deal in rubbish, and he didn't try to palm off damaged weapons as useful ones. On the other hand, he was also rumored to be willing to go to any length to get revenge for a betrayal, real or imagined, and Hans had no intention of telling Viktor all there was to know about the mission. Still, there was no one else capable of carrying it off who might also be willing to do it, so Hans knew he just had to out-smart the big man.

  "They are very good, Herr Viktor. In fact they are exactly what you promised." Hans plastered an ingratiating smile on his face, and managed to look somewhat like the apple-cheeked Swedish boy he had once been.

  "Viktor keeps his word, and others better keep theirs to Viktor." The scarred face looked even more evil twisted by a dark frown, and the thick Russian accent grated on Hans' ears.

  "Surely no one would try to cheat someone as noto… eh, noted for fair dealings as your honorable self, Herr Viktor." Hans gave a slight bow, and handed Viktor a purse containing the exact number of gold coins as they had agreed upon.

  "Not twice. No, not twice." Viktor bounced the purse in his hand a few times, and stuck it into his belt without counting the money.

  "Surely not even once, Herr Viktor. Why even my illustrious master knows of your reputation. He has, in fact, empowered me to approach you concerning another deal."

  "For what?"

  "As you know, there are many new weapons being developed more or less secretly in various places, and it has come to my master's attention that a weapon of significant military value will be traveling from Wismar to Stockholm within the next couple of weeks. My master wishes to acquire this new weapon, but speed is essential."

  "Why you need Viktor?"

  "I lack your organization's sources of information and connections. The Doppels have intense security surrounding the transportation of the new weapon and I am at a loss as to how to obtain it." Hans tried another smile and a bow.

  "Johann and Georg Doppel from Gothmund, Luebeck?" Viktor's speech was suddenly faster and smoother, making Hans wonder if he'd been playing games with him.

  "Why, yes. Do you know them?"

  "Viktor knows of them. For the right price Viktor will do it. From Wismar to Stockholm, you say? First Viktor will need a good ship and crew."

  "I already have a ship and crew ready and waiting to take the weapon back to my master."

  Viktor shook his head. "Viktor wants his own ship and crew."

  "The captain is my cousin, and my master has already agreed," Hans insisted.

  "Viktor has your word your men are to be trusted?"

  "Of course," Hans answered.

  "Then we discuss Viktor's price to get your master his weapon system."

  The Vulgar Unicorn, Stralsund, a couple of days later

  Tat'yana's nose twitched at the strong smell of sex in the air of Victor's room. She paused to examine the child, for child was what she most definitely was, that Viktor had been amusing himself with. She was standing there in her threadbare clothes, staring nervously back at Tat'yana, twisting the drawstring purse Viktor had thrown her. Tat'yana called over her shoulder. "Boris, get this girl a coat from the bag and see she's given something to eat before she leaves."

  "No, Boris, you stay." Viktor waved towards the second man who had entered the room behind Tat'yana. "Grigori, do what Tat'yana said."

  Tat'yana waited until the door was shut behind Grigori and the girl. "She looked young even for you, Viktor."

  "Yes, the sweet little flower has barely started to bud," Viktor answered, "but I wanted to celebrate with a virgin." He looked over to Boris. "We have been given Johann and Georg Doppel on a platter."

  The grim smile on Boris' face had Tat'yana wondering. "Who are Johann and Georg Doppel?"

  "It's a long story," Viktor began.

  Tat'yana settled herself comfortably on the bedside chair. "I've got plenty of time."

  "It was back when me and Viktor first started dealing in arms. We thought we had a deal with honorable men…" Boris said.

  "But we were wrong," Viktor interrupted. "The written contract they produced did not say what they claimed it had said."

  This was news to Tat'yana, and it explained why Viktor and Boris had so readily accepted her into their inner circle six years ago. Not only could she read and write, but she also owed Viktor for rescuing her from the back streets of Paris. She was his way of ensuring he wasn't cheated on a bad contract again, which brought up another question. Viktor wasn't the kind of man to let a wrong go unpunished so long. "And you haven't done anything about them yet?"

  Viktor snorted. "Not yet. We couldn't do anything ten years ago. We were short of money and the Doppels had powerful friends. Until now our paths haven't crossed." Viktor glanced over to Boris. "But now I will have justice."

  "Don't they still have powerful friends?" Tat'yana asked.

  "Yes, but they will be on board a ship. It will be a simple matter for them to be lost at sea."

  "Murder on the high seas?" Tat'yana asked.

  "Not murder, Tat'yana. We are not pirates. Nobody wants to be a pirate in the Baltic. There is nowhere to hide. No, I only seek justice," Viktor answered. "Do you know where to find Lasse?"

  Tat'yana nodded. "He's working the docks here in Stralsund."

  "Good. Bring him to me. I have a special job for him."

  Viktor turned to Boris. "Hans Johansson says he has a ship and crew. Its name is the Dunking Dolphin. Learn what you can about them while I find out what I can about the Doppels' ship."

  The Harbor, Stralsund

  "Hello, Cookie. Wanna turn a trick?" Lasse turned around at the rough voice, and saw his old friend Tat'yana standing with her hands on her hips, and her head slightly tilted in a come hither pose.

  "Tat'yana, what can I do for you?" Lasse rose gracefully from the bollard he had been sitting on.

  "Viktor has a job that needs your special abilities."

  "Horizontal or vertical?" Lasse's sweet smile never reached his eyes.

  "Getting to be quite a fancy speaker, eh?" Tat'yana normally preferred to speak and dress as a respectable middle class German, but that would have made her a target for every predator on the Stralsund docks. Today she was a full-blown dockyard-doxy and, despite her small stature, someone even the most drunken sailor wouldn't harass.

  "I've been keeping company with a priest lately." Lasse shrugged. "In between bemoaning his sins, and praying for his soul, he tries to convince himself that he is actually trying to save me by preaching to me and teaching me. I've lost most of my Swedish peasant accent, and learned quite a bit of Latin. Not quite enough to pass as a priest, but…" Lasse shrugged again.

  "It's good to be as many persons as possible." Tat'yana looked across the pier to the sea. "Then you can afford to stop being those you don't want to be."

  Lasse didn't answer. He had been happy and proud to have reached a position as second cook in Princess Kristina's household at the royal court in Stockholm, but being accused of trying to poison the princess had broken his dreams, and what he'd had to do to escape had broken more than that. Someday Lasse intended to find out if Jan Potocki had been the reason the queen had been so unwilling to accept that Lasse simply hadn't noticed the cracks in the tinned beaker he had used to serve the tisane to the princess. The queen's new favorite had certainly been quick enough to offer to arrange Lasse's freedom from jail in return for Lasse's "services."

  "Viktor wants us to leave for Wismar today. We must be onboard a certain ship when it leaves the harbor there. You as a cook, me as a passenger. Are you in?"

  "Sure." Lasse smiled. "Viktor pays much better than the priest, and he doesn't expect freebies."

  The Vulgar Unicorn, Stralsund

  "I have accepted a job," Viktor grow
led at Lasse as he and Tat'yana entered the suite of rooms that was his permanent base. "Tat'yana and Hans Johansson, our employer's man, will sail as a married couple on the Martha of Wismar. You will take the place of the cook. One morning Tat'yana will tell you to poison the food. Then I will come with a ship and a crew, and we will take what is on board."

  "Piracy?" Lasse sat down and stretched his elegant legs out in front of him. "But nobody wants to be a pirate in the Baltic. It's much too cold."

  "Not piracy. This is justice. Two men who cheated me many years ago will be traveling on this ship. It is their cargo we will take."

  "Ah, and will the crew be Fritz Felix and his men?"

  "No." A frown twisted Viktor's scarred face. "The crew and ship belong to our employer. They are not my choice."

  "Hm, pity. Working with unknown comrades is a dangerous undertaking." Lasse lifted a questioning eyebrow. "What arrangements have been made for getting me into place as cook?"

  "Tat'yana and Hans Johansson will be visiting his brother in Wismar before going to Stockholm. You are the brother. You are a baker's apprentice who wants to run off from a bad master. When the cook goes missing, Hans Johansson will pay the captain of the ship to hire his brother."

  "I don't like the idea of pretending to be somebody's wife," Tat'yana interrupted. "I can protect myself, but sticking a knife in our client might mean that we won't get paid."

  "I'm not that concerned with payment, Tat'yana. What is more important is that the Doppel brothers feel my justice. Hans Johansson is a clerk and not brave. If he gives you problems, you nick him a little." Viktor smiled. "He is a man who would be hen-pecked if married."

  "Well," said Tat'yana with a broad grin, "I can do that. Come, Cookie, my bags are packed and the tide waits for no man."

  The Hairy Bird, Wismar

  "The cook on the Martha of Wismar likes big-assed, blowsy barmaids," said Lasse as he closed the door to the private parlor behind him.

  "Damn. That doesn't describe either you or me." Tat'yana rose from the window-seat, and walked to the solid oak table, choosing the chair as far as possible from the eating Hans Johansson. "On the other hand," she continued with a nasty smile, "Hansi here is a bit pudgy. Don't you think he would make a lovely barmaid with a wig, a padded corset and a dress?"

  Hans looked alarmed and nearly choked trying to swallow and protest at the same time. "How… How dare you? I will not accept such insults from a sodomite and a whore!"

  Lasse took out his knife and started cleaning the dough he had used in his disguise as a baker's apprentice from his finger nails. Tat'yana just looked at Hans until he started fidgeting.

  "But, Hansi," said Lasse, keeping his voice especially sweet and mild, "we really need to get that cook separated from his friends, and the only other way would be to hire somebody with the right looks. Surely you would rather do a little play-acting, than have to pay a real barmaid for the job."

  "Such creatures are cheap."

  "Yes, but their silence is not." Lasse noted that Tat'yana relaxed when she realized what he was doing. Or rather, part of what he was doing. Lasse didn't share Viktor's confidence that Hans Johansson was just another harmless clerk. Of course, the knife hidden inside the man's doublet, which Lasse had seen when they shared a room last night, could just be a sensible safety precaution, but it had been a stiletto. And of course the man's preference for very bland food could just be a sign of stomach troubles, but it was the same food Lasse ate himself, since it was difficult to hide any kind of poison in such food. Lasse also didn't like the fact that Viktor wasn't in control of all the aspects of the job, but had to depend on an unknown crew of men supplied by Hans, so this mild attempt at extortion might reveal more about what they were dealing with.

  "Ah, I suppose such money might be well spent." Hans visibly tried to gather his dignity and looked down his prominent nose as he handed Lasse ten silver thalers. "After all it is important that I-and my supposed wife-stay in our roles. People will be watching us." He directed a patronizing smile towards Tat'yana. "Which reminds me, the way you were giving orders-even to me-when we arrived was quite unacceptable from a respectable woman. A respectable woman is meek and obedient toward her lord and master."

  "Well, you better learn to accept it, Hansi, 'cause you would surely be dumb enough to marry a shrew." Tat'yana narrowed her eyes and continued. "And if you had any ideas about matrimonial rights, you can just forget them. If you try anything I'll cut off your balls and feed them to you. Viktor might have accepted the job, but he knows who you're working for and could just deliver the weapons to your master himself if you should suddenly come down with a bad case of death. You need us to get your weapons, we don't need you."

  "How dare you! You're nothing but a thug's doxy…"

  "I'm Viktor's secretary, you moron, and he…"

  When the conversation deteriorated into a shouting match Lasse slipped quietly out the door. Tat'yana was obviously quite able to handle Hans Johansson on her own. The business with the thalers had shown that the man was open to extortion, and inclined to pay his way out of anything unpleasant. So, not a professional-or at least not a very good one.

  ***

  The torches outside the tavern were smoking in the damp wind when the barmaid led the cook from the Martha out the door. For three thalers she had agreed to take her customer into the alley beside the tavern, rather than upstairs to her room, so that the pretty, young baker's apprentice could get his revenge for the unspecified harm the cook had done him. She probably intended to get a bit extra afterwards by threatening to tell the baker Lasse had named as his master, but that wasn't going to be a problem.

  As the entwined couple passed the shadow where he was hiding, Lasse stepped out, put one hand over the man's mouth to silence him and swiftly slit his throat.

  "Hey, you gone done kill him! That wasn't it." The barmaid let go and backed away.

  "Wait!" Lasse reached into his purse and held out the rest of Hans's coins, carefully polished to make them shiny. "Here. I'll pay you more."

  "But they saw me leave with him." She stopped and looked at the coins shining brightly even in the dank alley. "Okay. Give them to me." With her mouth twisted into a smile, she grabbed the coins and tried to run, only to have Lasse grab her and slit her throat as well.

  Lasse waited a few moments to be sure they were both death. Viktor wouldn't like that he had killed the woman, but it had been too dangerous to let her live. The town guard might not care about another dead sailor, but the Martha was based here in Wismar, and the Doppel family might demand inquiries when one of their employees was found murdered. Lasse squatted down to clean his knife on the woman's skirt before gathering the money and checking the bodies for any valuables. Viktor would probably insist that Lasse gave the loot to charity, but leaving it would tell even a half-wit that something more than an ordinary robbery had been going on, and there was no way Lasse would risk going to jail again.

  ***

  "Did you have a good fight?" asked Lasse slipping silently into the parlor where Tat'yana waited.

  "Only middling. But what's more important is the fat creep claims to have left a letter with a lawyer telling all that he knows of our plans, with orders to mail it to the Doppel family if he doesn't return for it within a month." Tat'yana spoke barely above a whisper and sat very still, though Lasse could see she longed to pace the floor.

  Lasse sat calmly beside the agitated Tat'yana. "Do you think it's true or just a belated attempt to ensure his safety?"

  "I don't know." Tat'yana shrugged. "But Viktor is going to be absolutely furious."

  "Oh, I'm fairly furious myself." Lasse looked toward the bedroom, where he could hear Hans snoring, but then shook his head. "We can't contact Viktor before he leaves for Christianso, so we'd better continue as planned, and deal with Hansi later. See you in the morning."

  On board the Martha of Wismar just east of the Ertholmene Islands

  Hans watched Lasse carry the bread
-covered mug of poisoned soup to the captain at the helm. Having that skinny little bitch Tat'yana refuse to show him any respect at all, and even threaten to harm him, was bad enough, but the knowledge that Lasse the sodomite was the more accomplished poisoner really grated on his pride. Hans had removed a few people over the years for the duke of Courland, but since his poisons never seemed to work very well he had often had to resort to the far more messy and dangerous method of a knife in the back to actually kill them.

  He really should have insisted on knowing the details of the plan before leaving for Wismar, but Viktor had insisted that he didn't need to know, and Hans hadn't felt like arguing. After learning that Lasse was to poison the crew but only drug the Doppel brothers, Hans had unbent enough to ask what and how much Lasse was going to use, and why the Doppels weren't to be poisoned, only to be told by Tat'yana to mind his own business. Stupid bitch and stupid sodomite, didn't they realize that since Hans held the purse-strings it was he who gave the orders? Well, they'd regret it when Hans did write the letter. A pity he hadn't done so already, but who would have thought a thug could be so creative? A smash and grab attack at sea with guns blazing and a quick escape was more in keeping with the stories he had heard about the man. This time, instead of fighting his way aboard, Viktor intended to step aboard unopposed. By sinking the ship with all hands afterwards he also concealed all traces of the crime. The Martha would be recorded as just another sorry loss at sea with nobody suspecting foul play or searching for the perpetrators. The thug had planned the perfect act of piracy. After all, nobody wanted to be a pirate in the Baltic. The prizes usually weren't worth the effort.

  At least cousin Erland would be on his side. For a moment Hans considered having Erland and his crew dispose of Viktor and his team, but regretfully decided against it. Cousin Erland might not be above a bit of piracy if the risks were sufficiently low and the prize sufficiently large, but taking on Viktor and his bodyguards would simply be too dangerous.