by Marla Monroe
I’ve still got a lot of ground to cover, but at least I’m not sitting at home rocking in the corner anymore. I’m free, and I can do this.
Chapter Two
“Yeah, she was nice. Had a pretty smile but she spooked easy. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she has PTSD. She looked like she was going to pass out for a second when I started to shake her hand. I don’t think it was my gimp leg that caused that. I think she just wasn’t used to touching people for some reason.” Dobbs handed over a bag of groceries to Mayberry.
The two of them worked together to get the two bags inside without either of them landing on their asses this time. Last time it had been a Three Stooges moment when he’d lost his balance and ended up pulling his friend down with him.
“So what did she look like?” Mayberry asked.
“She had the prettiest light blue eyes, and they twinkled for a second before she got scared. Her hair’s this kind of strawberry blond with some lighter shades in it. She had it in a ponytail, so it was hard to tell exactly. She has some freckles across her nose and the softest looking lips I’ve ever seen.”
“She sounds like a beauty. How tall is she?”
“Man, I don’t know. She comes up to my chin, maybe an inch taller. She’d be closer to your mouth.”
“Perfect for kissing.”
“She had a small scar on her forehead that was almost covered up by her bangs, and come to think about it, there were a few on her hands, as well. She was wearing a lightweight jacket so I couldn’t see her arms.
“Maybe she was in a car accident and that’s why she’s so shaky. It might not have been that long ago.”
“I don’t know. The scars were kind of pink, so maybe.” Dobbs put away the groceries as Mayberry handed them out from the bag.
“What do you think about going to Riggs’ place Saturday?” Mayberry asked.
“I don’t know. I guess. Might be nice to get away and it not be that damn torture house for once.”
“You’re getting better, Dobbs. Even I can tell. You don’t wobble as much when you’re leading me, and you haven’t fallen once in the last week.”
“I nearly lost it at the grocery store today. If that woman hadn’t rolled her cart into mine, I’d have face planted right there in the meat section.”
“But you didn’t. And you met a woman,” Mayberry pointed out.
“Didn’t get her name though. That sucks.”
“Yeah, well. We lead a pretty sucky life right now. Have to be happy with what few crumbs we get.”
“If we’re going to go Saturday, we need to take beer. That means another trip to the fucking grocery store.”
“We could just pick it up at a convenience store,” Mayberry suggested.
“Sure. We can do that. We’ll just ask the taxi to take us then wait for us.”
“You need to get over thinking you can’t drive, Dobbs. You lost your right leg, but you still have your left leg. You’ve driven a stick shift so you should be used to using that left leg to shift. Just move it on over to the gas and brakes.”
“Maybe I’ll try that this afternoon. I need to get off this stump for a while. It’s flaring up like a mutherfucker right now.”
“Go on. I’ll put away the last few things. What are they?”
“Feel the damn things. You know what was on the grocery list. Figure it the fuck out, asshole.”
“Bastard.”
Dobbs watched as his friend turned the box of butter over before shoving it and the cream of mushroom soup into the fridge. He grinned. Guess that worked. The refrigerator was a safe guess.
He maneuvered his leg up on the couch then removed his prosthesis to give the stump some air and rest. It was still all so new to him. After waking up in the field hospital without his leg, Dobbs hadn’t wanted to live. He’d refused any kind of therapy or help until they flew him to Bethesda. There they didn’t take no for an answer. They’d dragged him kicking and screaming into therapy right alongside several others who were just as hostile as he’d been.
Looking back, he was embarrassed at how he’d acted, but fuck it all, he’d lost his leg. It changed his entire future. He’d planned to return home and work in law enforcement. It was something he’d always wanted to do. That wasn’t happening now. They wouldn’t let him in with a prosthetic leg. They might put him on a desk job if he passed the physical otherwise, but he’d be stuck pushing paper. He’d never wanted anything to do with an inside job.
It still bothered him that he’d shied away from getting close to women until now. Why he hadn’t freaked out when she’d bumped into his grocery cart still was a mystery. That should have set him off big time. Instead, he’d taken one look into her light blue eyes and seen the same look he saw in the mirror every morning when he got up. Fear. Fear and determination.
“What are you doing in there, Mayberry?”
“Jacking off. What the hell do you care?”
“Just checking to see if you were okay and hadn’t gotten lost.”
“Fuck you, man. I can find my way around this place with my eyes closed.”
“Funny, Mayberry. Very funny.”
* * * *
Libby had to run to catch the phone as it rang. She’d laid her cell down on the kitchen counter while she’d unloaded the groceries. She was sure whoever it was would hang up before she got there, but she made the attempt regardless.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Libby. It’s Ellie. How are you doing?”
“I’m making it. Just got back from the grocery store.”
“Wonderful! Did you make it inside?” she asked.
“I even bought most of my groceries.”
“See. You’re making progress. I’m so proud of you.”
“It helped going in the middle of the week during the day. There weren’t many people there,” Libby admitted.
“Doesn’t matter. You made progress.”
“I did. Didn’t I?”
“It takes time to make changes, Libby. Give yourself the credit you deserve.”
“I am. I did almost have a meltdown when someone offered to shake my hand.” She told Ellie about her encounter with Dobbs but didn’t mention his name.
“Being so close to Bethesda you’re bound to run into men and women with disabilities. They’re going through some of the same things you are.”
“Yeah. I felt for him. I know he was struggling, and I wigged out on him.”
“I’m sure he understood and didn’t think anything of it.”
“I just hope he doesn’t think I didn’t want to touch him or something.”
“The reason I called is to invite you to a get-together at our place Saturday evening. It’s a kind of home christening now that the new wing is complete, and there will be guys from the hospital coming. It won’t be crowded with the huge den we have now. You’ll be fine. I want you to be here.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Ellie. That’s a closed-in space even if it is the size of a football field.”
Ellie chuckled. “It isn’t that big, but we wanted something that several wheelchairs could fit into if we needed the room. You could come and sit in the kitchen with me and walk into the room every once in a while to get used to being around other people. It’s a perfect opportunity for you, and we can catch up on how you’re doing.”
“Let me think about it. I really don’t think I would do well. It hasn’t been that long, Ellie.”
“I know, but you’re doing great, and I want you there with me. There won’t be very many women there at all. I’ll feel less like a fifth wheel with you there to keep me company. Think about me strangling from all the testosterone in the air.”
“That wasn’t a good picture to put in my head.”
“Sorry. How’s Tisha doing?”
“She’s doing great. I talked to her yesterday. She’s actually jogging some on her new legs. Those weird-looking spring things seem to work well for her.”
“She’s really working hard to
get on with her life, isn’t she?” Ellie said.
“Yeah. She is. I’ll think about it, Ellie.” Libby sighed.
“Great. Talk to you later.”
Libby hit End and leaned against the counter. She and Tisha had been running in the Boston Marathon when a bomb had gone off, sending her and several other runners to the hospital. Because she’d been on the other side of Tisha and a few feet back she’d been protected from a good bit of the blast and hadn’t lost her legs, but she had plenty of scars despite that. Her legs and arms had tiny white lines all over them from the shrapnel that had been packed into the backpack containing the bomb. Though she hadn’t lost a limb, she’d lost her nerve and still had trouble getting out in public or being around people.
She’d had a total meltdown not long after getting out of the hospital with her injuries when a child had innocently tried to hand her his backpack when she’d been riding a bus into town. That landed her in a psych ward for several months.
Now she steered clear of public places, public transportation, and the public in general. Libby worked from home processing insurance claims for a large physicians’ clinic. It meant she didn’t have to worry about being around people and could still pay her bills.
Why she couldn’t get passed it like her friend had, Libby didn’t know. Her psychiatrist had said that different people process things in different ways. That didn’t make her feel any better. All she knew was that, while Tisha could go out in public on her new legs, she was stuck with her own legs cowering in her apartment, shying away from anything that looked remotely like a backpack.
Libby thought about going to Ellie’s home Saturday. That gave her all day Friday to talk herself into it and out of it again. It would be nice to spend some time with her friend, but navigating around other people she didn’t know would be difficult for her. Maybe with them being from the hospital with their own disabilities, they wouldn’t pose as much of a threat, but she just wasn’t sure if she could handle it.
I want to go. I miss seeing Ellie now that she’s married. She stays so busy with her new job and her men.
Libby was still getting used to her being married to both men. She didn’t understand the sharing part at all, but it seemed to work for them. Both men treated Ellie like a princess and did everything they could to make life simple for her. She professed to love both men equally but different. Libby just didn’t get it. Two men. How could she handle two men at one time? Libby couldn’t even be near a man without fear turning her feet to stone. The fact that she’d wigged out at the grocery store when Dobbs had held out his hand proved that.
I’ll try to go. I might not be able to stay, but I should at least try to show up. Ellie has been so good to me.
When she’d been a basket case with no way to support herself after realizing she couldn’t function in public, Ellie had helped her get the training she needed then helped her find the clinic billing job that she could do from home. She owed it to her to at least attempt to show up.
Briefly she thought about Dobbs from the grocery store. He’d had a nice face, handsome with dark blue eyes and shaggy black hair that looked as if he’d done nothing but let it dry right out of the shower. He had broad shoulders and strong upper arms. She bet he had to work out using his arms in order to help with having lost a leg. Why she was thinking about him and the way he looked she didn’t know. It was the first time she’d even noticed a man, much less what he’d looked like. She thought him good-looking and smiled that she was even able to think that.
Maybe I am getting better if I can think about a man as good-looking again.
She made up her mind that she was going to go to Ellie’s dinner party on Saturday if it killed her. There was no way she was going to let her fears dictate her life if she could help it. Maybe, just maybe, she’d see someone else who she thought was good-looking to prove that she wasn’t immune to men after all.
Chapter Three
“Shut the fuck up, man. I’m tired of hearing it.” Mayberry wanted to hit Dobbs for pointing out that he was wearing two different colored socks.
“I’m just saying we should turn around and let you change socks.” Dobbs was driving, which should have made Mayberry a little nervous, but since he couldn’t see, he figured there was no reason to worry.
“Since you’re the asshole who paired them up, it’s not my fault and I’m not changing them. If they want something to laugh about, what better reason than my socks? Screw it.” He’d gladly point out that at least he had a reason for mismatched socks. Dobbs could see, and he’d still messed them up.
“Whatever, man.”
“Do you think you could stop slamming on the brakes when you need to stop? I’m getting whiplash over here.” Mayberry smiled. That made him feel better.
“At least I’m trying.”
“Hey, I’ll try driving anytime you want me to. Just point me to the correct side of the car, and I’ll give it a go.”
“Smartass. How ’bout toning it down some while we’re at Rex’s place. His wife will be there.”
“I know. I’m blind. Not stupid.”
“That’s getting old, Mayberry.” Dobbs jerked the car to a stop. “Looks like we’re not the first to arrive. There’re already three cars here.”
“Good. I hate being early. Park this thing and let’s get this over with.”
“Hold on. I’ve got to back up and pull up on the curb.”
“Fuck. Don’t hit anything.” Mayberry grabbed hold of the door as Dobbs reversed then bumped them up on the curb before stopping with a jerk.
“I’m going to be nauseous the rest of the night with the way you slam on the brakes. It’s a wonder I don’t have whiplash.”
“Shut the fuck up, man.” Dobbs popped him in the shoulder. “I’ll leave your ass out here to figure out how to get inside if you don’t ease up on the bitching.”
“Fine. I’ll be quiet.” Mayberry waited until he heard Dobbs open his door to open his own.
He pulled himself out of the car and moved to one side so he could close the door. A few seconds later, Dobbs took his elbow and led him over the uneven ground to the drive. From there it was easier to navigate the concrete beneath his feet.
“Hold up. I’ve got to open the screen.” Dobbs let go of his arm and knocked on the door.
A few seconds later Mayberry could hear someone approaching by the sound of footsteps on the floor. His hearing had become better since he’d lost his sight, but it didn’t make up for not being able to see what was right in front of him.
“Hey! You came. Good to have you over.” Rex’s voice let him know who it was. “Come on in and get something to drink. Mayberry, better let Dobbs help you with all of the artificial legs and such sticking out in here, mine included. We tend to stick them out when we sit down.”
“Tell me about it. I’ve tripped over Dobbs’s bionic leg so much I’m learning to like crawling around on the floor better than walking.”
Mayberry followed his friend’s lead deeper into the room. He could hear voices talking over each other farther in the house.
“Want a beer?” Dobbs asked him.
“Hell yeah. This is going to be torture sitting around like a fucking bump on a log. It’s not like I can see who’s here.”
“I’ll tell you when we get settled. Hold on and let me open these.” Mayberry felt Dobbs shove a cold bottle in his hand. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.”
“Hey, guys. I’m so glad you made it.”
Mayberry knew it had to be Ellie since he didn’t know of any other women who’d be coming. He wasn’t as familiar with her as he was with one of the other counselors at the hospital. Dobbs said she was much nicer than the one Mayberry had dealt with. She’d harped on how important it had been for him to wear sunglasses and use his white cane everywhere he went instead of depending on Dobbs to lead him around.
If you let people know that you’re blind, they’ll help you more.
He didn’t
want to call attention to himself. That was just asking for trouble as far as he was concerned. People didn’t go out of their way to be nice. They went out of their way to fuck with you.
I can’t believe we came to this. I’m going to be bored out of my skull sitting here in the dark.
“Mayberry, I’ve got great news for you. Your service dog will be here in two weeks. You can start training with him as soon as he gets here. I can’t wait to introduce you two.” Ellie’s voice sounded so excited he could almost picture her jumping up and down and clapping her hands.
“Hope he doesn’t mind a slow learner,” he quipped.
“Nonsense. You two will be best friends in no time, and you’ll be able to go places without depending on Mayberry.”
“Can’t wait.” He doubted getting a seeing-eye dog was going to help him feel more comfortable being blind.
“Go find a place to sit where everyone else is. I’m waiting on a friend who’s coming. If I don’t watch for her, she’ll turn around and leave.”
“See, we weren’t the only ones who thought about it,” Mayberry pointed out.
“Shut your fucking mouth, man. Hey, maybe with a seeing-eye dog you’ll be able to aim better when you piss.”
“Fuck you, Dobbs.”
Mayberry snarled at his friend then grabbed the man’s arm and let him lead him into the lion’s den. At least it sounded like it with all of the snarling voices that grew louder the closer they got.
“I’m telling you the place is a torture chamber and the therapists are sadists.”
“Got you up and walking though, didn’t they?” another voice pointed out.
“It was that or go insane with the pain. They don’t even give you anything for it until after you finish.”
“Keeps you from falling on your ass until after you get your workout,” Rex pointed out. “Hey, come on in, Dobbs, Mayberry. Got Clark, Frog, Heath, Cookie, and Rawlings here.”
“I’m the blind one. Dobbs is the stupid one,” Mayberry said as he settled down on a chair. For all he knew, he was sitting dead center of the bunch of them. Dobbs would do something like that to him.