“If you’re trying to play matchmaker, you should know I don’t think she’d fit in. She’s much more like Jeannie than Mom.”
“She’s nothing like Jeannie. And if you think so, you better take a course in interpersonal skills.”
“Spoken like a true college professor.”
“Ease up on her, Josh. You’re her employer, not her keeper.”
Molly knew she should leave. It was wrong to eavesdrop. Yet she couldn’t move, fascinated by the trend of the conversation. She crept closer until she could see into the room. The hall was dark, maybe no one would notice her standing there.
Jake leaned back in his chair, half turned from her as he watched his wife. Brianna sat on the edge of the desk, leaning over toward her brother. Suddenly Josh stood up and walked to the window, his back to the others.
“I know I’m not her keeper. I just think she should let her father know where she is.”
“You were practically browbeating her about it.”
“I know.”
“You can’t control her actions, ” Brianna said gently.
“I want to.”
“You always want to be in control.”
He hesitated a long time, then turned back to his sister. “If I can be in control, maybe bad things won’t happen.”
Molly stared at him. The silence in the office stretched out for several long moments as Brianna and Jake also stared at Josh.
“You mean, like your mother and father dying in an automobile accident?” Jake asked at last, understanding coming to him before the others.
Josh nodded, his eyes on his sister. “That’s why I told Jake to stay away from you a couple of years ago. I didn’t want you hurt. I wanted to control things so you would always be around and never get hurt.”
“Oh, Josh.” Brianna hopped off the desk and went to her brother, hugging him. “You aren’t God. You can’t determine if accidents will happen or not. You can’t determine who gets hurt and who doesn’t. You can’t change fate.”
Molly slipped away, walking softly so no one would hear her. She tiptoed up the stairs and entered her room, closing the door silently behind her.
She should not have eavesdropped. Sinking on her bed, she closed her eyes, still seeing Josh by the window, explaining why he tried so much to be in total control. He was still reacting to the loss of his parents when he’d been a boy. His desire for control had arisen from the belief if he controlled things, nothing bad would happen.
Her heart melted. And her arms longed to encircle him as Brianna’s had done.
Chapter Twelve
Molly tried to recall all she knew of Josh’s background. Josh’s bossiness resulted from the tragic loss of his parents when he’d been a child. He hoped to avert anything like it again by controlling everything around him. Probably because nothing as devastating had happened since that accident, he thought the technique worked.
Except for Jeannie. Was he even more determined to control things after her?
For a long time she wondered if Josh would always be that way, or if now that he recognized his actions for what they were, he'd ease up a bit.
Molly thought about her father and of the way his life had changed when his wife left. Had he been trying to avert another loss by controlling everything he could, just like Josh? Had that been the reason he wanted to control every aspect of her life? To keep her safe and near him. To keep him from experiencing another loss as he had when his wife had left?
For the first time in months, Molly wanted to talk to her father. She wanted to know if what she suspected was true.
If so, they needed to discover if they could have a normal relationship. If he could accept that by the very fact she was his daughter she would always love him, maybe he could relinquish some of his need for control. Loving him didn’t mean she had to live her life to his whims. Could he change?
It wasn’t late. She could call tonight.
Getting up, she brushed her hair, and raised her chin. Opening her door, she descended the stairs, making a bit more noise than usual to alert those in the office to her presence. But when she reached the door, only Josh sat behind the desk. The Morgans were gone.
He looked up when she walked in, his eyes dark and shadowed. He didn’t speak.
“I thought I'd call my father,” she said, standing near the door.
He nodded and stood. “The phone’s there. I’ll leave so you’ll have some privacy.”
He crossed to the door before she stopped him.
“Josh?”
Turning, he looked at her.
She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to tell him what she’d learned, what she guessed about her father, but that would reveal her eavesdropping and she dare not do that. Finally she shrugged and smiled tentatively.
“I’ll find you when I’m done so you can get back to work.”
He nodded and walked out.
With nervous fingers she dialed the familiar number. When her father answered, Molly took a deep breath. “Hi, Dad, this is Molly.”
Molly slowly replaced the receiver. Glancing up at the clock on the wall, she was startled to discover how much time she and her father had spent on the phone. It had been well worth it. They made tentative steps to close the breach and rediscover the love that existed between them. He'd probably always offer his opinion on what she should do, but at least he had admitted being afraid for her, and wanting to protect her from life’s harsh realities. She hoped she convinced him she had to learn some of the realities on her own. They had made a start.
And she owed it to Josh.
She smiled and stood up. She needed to find him and let him know his office was free. And thank him. He’d think his bossy orders had turned the tide, and she would have to let him think that. She dare not reveal what she’d overheard.
Josh propped his feet on the wooden railing and tilted his chair back. The night became alive with rustling leaves, distant cattle calls and the stomp of the horses in the corral. His sister and her husband had gone for a walk. Molly was calling her father. And he sat alone.
For a moment the loneliness he tried to keep at bay swept through him. He thought back to Jeannie and the life he thought they'd share. Looking back, he saw clearly that she had never promised him to stay on the ranch and help it grow. She'd always been anxious to go into town, to have people visit, to travel. She liked excitement, thrills and fun times. And she'd never done a thing around the house.
Of course, he had Rachel in those days.
Would he have discovered more quickly Jeannie’s lack of staying power if she'd had to do the housework like Molly? If he had insisted they stay home and develop similar interests?
It didn’t matter. She was gone. And he learned a valuable lesson. When he tried the matrimony stakes again, if he ever tried again, he’d look for a country woman, one who liked ranching and cooking and didn’t have different goals.
Like writing books.
He shook his head. He couldn’t deny the attraction between him and Molly. He couldn’t deny he liked being with her, liked her smile, her wide-eyed wonder at every aspect of ranching. But she couldn’t keep her mind on her job for an entire day.
Everything he had that had once been white now looked a peculiar color of green. He knew she’d mixed something up in the wash.
Jase had found Shannon. Brianna had found Jake. That left him without a partner in the only family he had.
“Josh?” Molly peeked out the screen door.
“Finished your call?” How had that gone? “Mend any fences?”
“Yes to both questions.” She came out onto the porch and walked slowly to the column holding up the porch roof. Leaning against it, she stared out across the range.
“I’m sure your father was glad to hear from you,” Josh said, watching her in the faint starlight.
“He was worried about me. Now he’s not. Where did Brianna and Jake go?”
“For a walk.” They had gone off, holding hand
s, already lost in their own world of love.
Josh shifted restlessly. Watching Molly increased the yearning for his own mate.
Not her, but someone stable and down to earth. Someone like his mother had been.
“You can use your office now. I’m through in there for tonight.”
“Not writing?”
“No.” She glanced over to where he sat as if she wanted to say something. But she remained silent, only turning and walking back into the house without another word.
Josh heard the screen door close and knew she’d gone. He was still alone.
The next morning Molly rose at her regular time and had breakfast well in hand when Brianna joined her.
“I was coming to help,” Brianna said after greeting Molly.
“No need. I’ve got this part down pat. Help yourself to coffee,” Molly said cheerfully.
Things looked a bit better in the daylight. She couldn’t get rid of the ache in her heart about Josh, but she had to look on the bright side. Her relationship with her father promised to be better. Her manuscript was already on its way. She needed to really work on the rest of it while she waited to hear when her last day on the Rafter C would be.
“Josh was lucky to find you. He’s not been real lucky with the housekeepers he’s had since Rachel left,” Brianna said as she slid into an empty seat and sipped the hot coffee.
“Actually, I already have my marching orders. As soon as he finds a replacement, or I get a new job, I’m gone. I’m only hoping I last longer than the four-weeks person. Then I’ll hold the record,” Molly said lightly, belying the ache in her heart.
Brianna slammed down her cup and stared at Molly. “Are you saying Josh doesn’t want you here?”
Molly shook her head, then nodded. “I am saying that, and no, he doesn’t want me here.”
It hurt to say the words, and Molly longed to change the subject.
“He’s certifiably nuts. Why?”
Because I was foolish enough to fall in love with him, Molly thought. She smiled gamely and shrugged.
“I’m not the world’s best housekeeper. I forget to start the meals, I burn them sometimes. I did his laundry once and forgot to dry it and the next day he didn’t have anything to wear.”
Molly wouldn’t mention the time her green shirt had bled on all his white things. Maybe he had never noticed the light green tinge.
“I haven’t heard a single complaint since I’ve been here,” Brianna said slowly.
“Probably not. For all my faults, I still beat the men having to fend for themselves. Anyway, Josh asked the employment agency for a replacement. As soon as they find one, I’ll leave.”
“I’d go now,” Brianna said darkly. “If he doesn’t like what you are doing, let him do it himself.”
Molly stared at Josh’s sister. If she had any pride, she’d probably do that. But she couldn’t. If she could stay for a few more days, that would offer a little longer in his presence. She just couldn’t leave yet.
“Actually, I don’t have anything else lined up, so this is a job until I find something.”
“And if he gets a replacement first?”
“I’ll have to worry about that when the time comes.”
Jake wandered in just then and Molly gratefully greeted him, hoping to change the subject.
Molly served up breakfast when the cowboys came in. Placing Brianna beside her brother with Jake on her left, Molly made room for herself between Lance and Jack. She was the most comfortable with these two men and liked being some distance from Josh.
Not that she could escape his angry glare every time she spoke with Lance. When he saw her laughing at something Lance said, his eyes frosted and he didn’t take them from her until she rose to replenish the coffee cups.
Brianna invited Molly to join them that morning, but Molly declined. Much as she longed to go with them. The ride yesterday had been a mistake. She needed to start building a distance between herself and Josh. Somehow she had to find the strength to walk away soon.
The day passed slowly. Molly cleaned as much as she needed, then sat down to her computer. But the words didn’t come. She gazed out the window for hours, thinking about every minute of her time on the Rafter C. And every second spent with Josh.
She knew she should incorporate aspects in her book, but she wasn’t capable of revealing her feelings in mere words.
Frustrated, she wondered if writing was for her. Maybe she was fooling herself that she had a chance to get a book published, more than one book published. How many people made a career in writing? Very few.
When the phone rang, Molly answered. She recognized the woman’s voice instantly. Gillian.
“Josh’s out right now.”
“Have him give me a call, he knows the number,” Gillian responded gaily.
“I’m sure he does,” Molly muttered darkly as she replaced the receiver. “And he probably won’t waste a second in returning your call once he gets the message.”
Would he take Gillian out again? Or worse, invite her over? Molly set her jaw. If he did, she’d make other plans. There was no way she’d hang around to see him with another woman.
Josh didn’t come in for lunch. Only half the ranch crew were near the house so Molly didn’t have as much to do as normal. She relished the break, joking with the men that had come in, enjoying their banter.
Lance stopped before he left after lunch. “Everything okay with you?” he asked.
Molly smiled. “Sure. Why not?”
He shrugged, his eyes studying her. “I don’t know. Something’s different. You didn’t appear to be all there at lunch.”
Molly avoided his gaze. “Most of me was there. I’m trying to figure out the next scene in my book,” she replied vaguely. She wouldn't admit to the disturbing thoughts of Josh and Gillian.
“Want to go into town Friday night? We can go to The Last Roundup, dance a little.”
Molly considered it. She had had fun last time, met friendly neighbors. She slowly shook her head.
“Thanks, Lance. Not this week. Maybe another time?” She was not staying, no need to make friends only to say goodbye in a couple of weeks.
“Sure thing. See you later.” Lance raked his fingers through his hair and set his hat on firmly. His boots rang on the wooden floor as he crossed to leave.
For a moment Molly almost called him back. She remembered how annoyed Josh had been when she and Lance had gone out the last time. Even though Josh had gone out the same night with Gillian.
Would another evening spent with Lance evoke a similar response? Or would Josh shrug his shoulders this time and ignore her? She wished she could evoke some response in him.
She didn’t know what she wanted she thought as she sat again before her computer. She should be concentrating on her future instead of mooning over some cowboy who didn’t want her. But it was hard to concentrate on being creative when every fiber of her being longed to be with Josh Hart. She wanted to watch him work at his desk, watch him interact with his men, watch him ride his big horse. She just plain wanted to be with him.
Laboriously she began to type.
“Where the hell is dinner?” Josh roared sometime later.
Molly spun around, staring at him in surprise. He stood in the doorway, fists on his hips, frowning at her. He looked hot, dusty and tired. His hat pulled low, his angry stance looked meaner than a sidewinder. Molly glanced at the clock.
“Ohmygracious.” She sprang up and crossed the room. It was almost seven and she hadn’t even started dinner.
Josh didn’t budge. She stopped inches from him, feeling the anger radiating from him, pouring over her like a wave.
“I forgot,” she said in a small voice.
“You forgot dinner?” His low voice held a note of incredulity.
“I... uh...guess I got caught up in the story and the time just flew by.”
Molly shivered at the hard glint in his eyes. Steely with contempt, he stared down at her as i
f he couldn’t believe his eyes or ears.
“You have twenty hungry people to feed in less than ten minutes and you forgot to fix the meal?”
“I’ll make something.”
Her mind went blank. What could she fix in ten minutes that would satisfy everyone? She had planned to thaw some meat and forgotten. There was little choice in the pantry because it was almost time to go shopping again.
“What?” he snapped.
“I don’t know, but I’ll come up with something.”
“Omelets again?”
“Maybe!” He goaded her and she didn’t need that. She was in the wrong, but she had to go start something for dinner, not stay here and be berated. The longer they argued, the later it would be before she could get started on the meal.
Josh’s hands reached out and caught her shoulders.
“I pay you to cook and clean, not sit in front of your computer all day and waste time writing when you should be taking care of this house.”
“I know. I can make omelets in less than ten minutes. Make up a batch of biscuits quickly. But I need to get going.”
Placing her hand on his chest in an attempt to move him, she became immediately intrigued by the slow pounding of his heart, the heat from his body, the sculptured muscles beneath her fingertips. She forgot what she was going to say. “I’m sorry.” She rubbed her fingers against him unconsciously.
“You’re playing with fire,” he growled.
“You’re hot enough,” she replied daringly, meeting the silver glint of his gaze with a bold one of her own.
He frowned. “I had enough of that with Jeannie. Don’t play games, Molly, I’m not up to it anymore. Go in there and fix something for dinner.”
Heat washed through her. “I’m not playing games.” Her hand fisted and she yanked it away from him. Trying to shake off his hands, she found herself drawn even closer, until his heat engulfed her, until all she could see was blazing silver eyes.
She didn’t want a kiss. It meant nothing. Not to him, he’d made that clear. But before she could protest, before she could pull away, it changed. He beguiled and entreated until she could no more resist than she could stop breathing, Stepping even closer, she pressed herself against him and returned the kiss.
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