What would it be like to share her burden? What would it be like tell this healer of the ages about her suffering and let him help her recover? Could he help her?
Cold sweat broke out on her forehead. The day she’d held her still smoking skin in her arms, she’d sworn that no other soul would ever lay eyes on it again. Never again would she trust anyone with its secret. Any healer she’d ever gone to for advice had been given only the barest amount of information. She spoke in hypotheticals, never revealing her skin. Any time she’d ever thought of confiding in someone, imaginary flames would dance in her vision and she’d have nightmares for weeks, her senses filled with smoke and heat. But when she looked at Brec . . .
Clenching her teeth, Ana tried to tear her mind away from the selkie standing silently behind her. She forced her brain to remember the hatred in his eyes when he’d looked at Mano. Even knowing what had been done to the toos, even having him lying on a table bleeding to death, none of that had eclipsed his anger. Sure, he’d healed the toos, but he’d struggled with it. The smell of cayenne pepper seemed to hang in her nose, reminding her of Brec’s indulgence in his hatred. If he came that close to withholding healing from a toos just because of what his people did, how much worse would his need for vengeance be for someone who stole his skin?
“Ana, watch out!”
Pain ripped through her non-bandaged hand and Ana screamed in surprise and pain. Strong arms grabbed her shoulders and hauled her backwards. Her eyes widened as her attention was finally torn from her thoughts long enough to see what was happening.
Mano’s body surged toward her, his black eyes looking unseeing as he opened a mouth full of jagged teeth. She screamed as Brec’s arms tightened around her dragging her farther away from the gaping maw that seemed to seek her out. Mano’s flesh turned grey as his body contorted and swelled. His legs thrashed behind him as they fused to form his tail and Ana winched at the crunch of dry wall as his tail punched through it. The thickly muscled appendage swung back and forth, growing increasingly foreboding as the fins grew taller. His body continued to inflate until it had the hauntingly familiar torpedo shape that so frightened anyone unlucky enough to be in the water with it.
Terror closed like a vice around Ana’s heart as Brec cursed and hauled her back even farther. Mano was now fully in shark form, thrashing around on the floor. His jaws swung ever closer to the blood dripping from her fingers. Ana clutched her hand to her chest.
“Bastard,” Brec seethed. “He bit you on purpose. He’s using your blood to pull himself into shark from so he doesn’t have to exert as much energy to shift.”
The anger in Brec’s voice could have melted steel. In that moment of fear, Ana was tempted to be angry too. Her fingers throbbed inside their bandage from her first scrape with Mano’s teeth and now the fingers of her other hand were oozing blood as well. The pain wasn’t that bad, but the coppery scent of blood filling the room made the entire situation feel more primal, more deadly. She was on the floor with one of the oldest predators on the planet—and it had tasted her blood twice.
She was still staring at the shark in horror when a tiny blur shot by her face and bounced off the end of the toos’ snout. A tiny squeal pierced the air as the shark snapped its jaws in the air, blindly searching for what had struck it. Ana’s jaw dropped as her gaze finally landed on Nu hovering in the air near the ceiling.
“I counted coup on a toos!” he shouted excitedly. “I counted coup on a toos!” He pointed at Ana and Brec in turn. “You two are my witnesses!” He twirled around and then shot to the right, throwing his body into a series of motions that turned him into a living pinwheel. “I counted coup on a toos!” he crowed.
“Counted coup?” Ana echoed dumbly.
Brec scowled and shook his head in apparent exasperation. “Counting coup is an old expression used to mean courting danger. It’s supposed to be a demonstration of bravery, but in reality it just gets a lot of people hurt. If I had a pearl for every idiot I’ve had to doctor up after shenanigans like this, I could buy the entire state of Alaska and a good chunk of Canada along with it.”
“Whoo hoo!” Nu cheered, a smile splitting his face from ear to ear. He swooped down and nearly crashed into Ana’s face. “Do you have any idea what this is going to mean for me? Huh, do you?” He pointed at the toos, still snapping its jaws on the floor. “Most of my people have never even seen a toos, let alone counted coup on one. I’ll never have to buy new clothes again! I’ll have women throwing themselves at me! I’ll—”
“Aaarrghh!”
Nu squeaked in terrified surprise as Mano’s human form began to push from the shark’s body. In the blink of an eye, he’d disappeared, perched somewhere out of sight. Ana swallowed hard, the blood on her fingers looking redder and smelling stronger than it had a second ago. Brec pulled her behind him, putting his own body between her and the toos. For once, she didn’t argue with him.
“Where . . . is it?” Mano rasped, his voice returning as his body settled back into human form. He collapsed on his back, his empty eyes twitching as he seemed to search the ceiling. “Where’s the little . . . pest that hit me and then . . . shrieked like a cursed banshee?”
His heavy breathing lent a wheezy quality to his words, but the look on his face still chilled Ana to the bone. How the massive predator could be this upset over the words of one tiny little fey seemed so absurd, Ana wondered if she’d misjudged Brec. Maybe he was right to treat the toos as a threat.
“I set you free, you traitorous little bastard! When I catch you I’m going to fill your miserable body with iron and drop you to the bottom of the sea!”
Her own words floated back to her across time and space. Realization struck like a bolt of lightening and suddenly the situation took on a whole new meaning.
“He bit you on purpose. He’s using your blood to pull himself into shark from so he doesn’t have to exert as much energy to shift.”
Mano was just like her. He was attempting the impossible in an attempt to get back to the life he knew, the life he wanted. Brec was probably right, the toos may have bitten her on purpose to hasten his journey to his goal, but how was that any different than her thefts? She stole the skins of others, caused untold suffering in her victims, all in an attempt to get her life back. Could she really stand in judgment on Mano just because he drew a little blood?
“Actually, you should thank him,” Ana spoke up, forcing the words out before she could rethink it. Her heart pounded and she clenched her hands into fists to keep them from shaking. “Anger and irritation can be great for a little surge of energy to help you switch to human form.” She paused, gathering her courage. “Sort of like biting me helped you shift to shark form.”
Mano froze, his eyes ceasing their mad search for the pixie and fixing her with a steady gaze. She held her breath, resisting the urge to cower behind Brec as the toos stared at her with that unwavering black gaze.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, his eyes still locked on hers. “The scent of your blood—”
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” Ana interrupted. “You’re just trying to get your life back.” She tilted her head, letting her empathy show in her eyes. “You must feel very vulnerable and that can’t be easy considering what you are.”
Now Mano raised his eyebrows, staring at her as if she’d just said something fascinating. Ana wasn’t sure if he was surprised by the truth of her observation, or by her attempt at empathy.
“I am over seven hundred years old,” he said finally, his voice soft and low. “I did not survive this long by allowing myself to be vulnerable. I will do whatever it takes to get my strength back as quickly as possible.” His eyes seemed to darken even more. “Whatever it takes,” he whispered.
Chapter 18
Brec held his breath. Ana didn’t live in the water with the toos. She didn’t spend her life surrounded by warnings of how to avoid them, she wasn’t inundated with survivors’ stories of their attacks, and she didn’t li
ve every day knowing that she could die in the jaws of a shark with a human’s brain. If not for the fact that the toos and the selkie were natural enemies, maybe even he wouldn’t have noticed the sudden stillness in Mano’s body.
He waited for the telltale bunching of the toos’ muscles before he made his move. Summoning all his strength, Brec whipped around and grabbed Ana by her hips. Mano’s hands closed on empty air as Brec hurled Ana through the bathroom doorway to land in a squealing heap on her bed. The creak of the mattress springs echoed behind him as Brec ended on his knees, blocking Ana from the toos’ sight.
It was all over in a matter of seconds. Brec turned his eyes back to Mano as he heard Ana scrambling to right herself on the bed behind him. The toos stared at him, his chest rising and falling rapidly after the exertion of his lunge. A tinge of fear twitched in Brec’s stomach and his didn’t bother to fight it. Primal instincts like those were what kept a selkie alive.
“Ana, are you all right?” he called out, never taking his eyes off the toos.
“Just startled.”
Creaking bed springs let Brec know she was regaining her composure. He listened for footsteps, but apparently Ana was now content to keep a somewhat more significant distance between her and her most recent guest.
Brec let all the things Ana had said since the toos’ arrival run through his mind.
“You have a god’s gift of healing . . . . And you used it to heal a creature who eats your people for sport . . . . You are a healer. It’s your job to help people who need it, not to judge them for their crimes! . . . . Why would I possibly condone torturing someone who’s already in pain? . . . . Don’t you get it? He has a life in the sea that he could never have on land. The sea is his home, it’s where he’s safe and happy. Being stuck on land is torture for him.”
Suddenly an idea took hold of Brec’s mind. He could use this situation to his advantage. Ana was obviously emphasizing with the toos, for what reason he had no idea, but she did just the same. If he could prove to her that he meant what he said about not denying help to anyone--if he could show her that he could put aside his hatred for a species that ate his people, perhaps Ana would finally trust him. Maybe then she would share her secret. Maybe she would tell him why she’d taken those skins.
Mano hadn’t moved after his failed grab for Ana. He stayed on one knee, his hands braced against the floor and his ebony gaze locked on Brec. The toos was probably debating on whether to kill Brec now, or take the chance that even attacking Ana would not turn the healer from his vows to do no harm. There was no emotion in that look, not hatred, or anger. Just a simple calculation on what was best for his own survival. Evolution at its best.
“Mano, do you have the energy to change form?” Brec asked the toos calmly.
The toos raised his eyebrows, his gaze unwavering. “Hoping I’ll beach myself?”
Brec firmly kept the smile from his face, despite the pleasantness of the thought. No, he told himself vehemently. No judgment. I have to show her I won’t judge her.
“You know I can’t let you die if I can save you. It’s why you came to me.”
“Yes, but what’s to keep you from letting me suffer for awhile?” Mano countered. “You could leave me flopping around on this cursed floor for hours if you wanted to. Without some more of those delightful herbs, I’d never complete another shift.” He rolled onto his side sucking in a few deep breaths. “As it is, that lunge took more energy than I expected.”
“First of all, you’re not going to trick me again,” Brec said dryly. “I know you have more energy than you’re letting on. Second of all, I have no intention of leaving you to suffer.”
“Even after I tried to lick the blood off your lady friend over there?”
The thought of Mano leaping for Ana sprang into Brec’s mind. The thought of his open mouth and gleaming teeth turned his stomach, tortured him with images of what those teeth could have done to Ana. If Mano had managed to get Ana underneath him, he could have eaten a good bit of her before Brec ever managed to tear her away from him. Brec didn’t believe for a second that Mano had merely intended to “lick the blood off.”
The toos was goading him, trying to see just how far his patience would go. Brec wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of losing his temper in front of Ana again. Forcing away the anger and disgust that the images created, Brec smoothed his face into an expression of calm and composure.
“Have you ever heard the story of the woman who rescued the snake?” he asked.
Mano’s expression didn’t change. “Enlighten me.”
“A woman found a snake half frozen to death by the side of the road. She had a kind heart, so she picked up the unfortunate reptile and cuddled him close to her breast to warm him up. As soon as the snake could move, he twisted in her embrace and bit her. As she lay dying, she looked at the snake and said ‘I saved your life. How could you do this to me?’ And the snake answered ‘You knew I was a snake when you took me in.’”
A sharp laugh escaped Mano’s throat and he rolled his eyes up at Brec. “I am the snake, yes?”
Brec nodded.
“That story contradicts your noble assertions. Does it not indicate that you should let me die?”
“No. It means when rescuing a snake, certain behaviors are to be expected. And certain precautions must be taken.”
Brec glanced back at Ana, who was sitting on the bed and staring at him with a combination of surprise and suspicion. Her reaction inspired him further, convincing him that he was on the right path. He turned back to Mano.
“Look, I’m pissed that you tried to hurt her and there’s a big part of me that wants to punish you for it.” He shook his head. “But I’m a healer and we both know it’s not my place to deal justice. So believe me when I say, I’m not going to hurt you, and I’m not going to try and make you suffer. My only concern right now is to get your ugly toothy face back to the water where it belongs.”
His insults didn’t even seem to register to the toos. Mano stared at him, a look of heavy concentration on his face. “You know,” he murmured finally. “You wouldn’t last a minute in my society.”
Brec smiled, a heartfelt smile this time. “That may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
The toos snorted and nodded. “Very well then. Proceed, healer.”
Brec stepped closer, kneeling to smear more of the herbal paste onto Mano’s fin. As much as he knew that everything he’d said, and everything he was doing, would help him make progress with Ana, he couldn’t help but feel being this nice to a toos was a step backward. Backward for a warrior, forward for a healer.
His mixed emotions swirled around his mind, plucking a string here and there as he worked. Mano’s dorsal appendage was improving in leaps and bounds, though it would still take several shapechanges to be fully restored. He had to admit, the progress was impressive.
As he attended to his enemy, Brec glanced back at Ana every once in a while. She seemed to have learned her lesson, staying farther back from the toos now that she’d gotten a second bite. Her blonde hair fell over her shoulder in a pale wave, looking even paler against the vibrant red of her sweater. She was staring at him with a guarded expression, the skin around her eyes tense and her eyes hyper-focused. She looked like she was analyzing him and he had the distinct impression that when the toos finally returned to the sea he wouldn’t have to wait long to find out if he’d made any progress earning her trust.
Two grueling hours later, Mano stood at the door to Ana’s cabin. His dorsal fin was smaller than it had originally been, but still standing tall and healthy. In shark form he would be able to swim fast enough to push the water past his gills and keep from drowning. In a week his fin would be completely healed.
Mano didn’t try to shake Brec’s hand as he left and Brec didn’t offer. He wanted Ana to see that he would help anyone who needed it, but there was no need to go overboard. When the toos splashed over the end of the dock and disappeared from si
ght, Brec closed the door and turned back to Ana. She stood behind him, still silent, and still staring at him with that contemplative look.
His heart pounded so loud he couldn’t hear his own thoughts. Part of him wanted to wait, wanted to see if she came to him. But the larger part of him couldn’t help but feel rushed. There were skinwalkers out there without their skins and every moment was like torture for them. He couldn’t let it continue even a second longer than absolutely necessary. He had to try.
“So are you ready to ask me?”
Ana’s eyes widened and she gripped the couch beside her. Despite her body’s obvious reaction, her voice came out soft, but clear.
“Ask you for what?”
Brec straightened his spine. He tried to infuse his body with confidence, bluffing like he’d never bluffed in his life.
Under His Skin Page 15