“Of course. I’ll give you my number and my e-mail address. Where do you live?”
“In Connecticut,” she said as we exchanged our information.
Candice left, and I was still in shock. I went back in the house and pulled out my father’s obituary and stared at it. I couldn’t believe she had found me. I had thought about looking for them, but I didn’t know if they would accept me, so I didn’t bother.
When my mother came back home I shared the good news with her. I told her the entire story and all she could say was, “That’s nice, Nikki, but I need to talk to you.” I couldn’t believe she wasn’t sharing in my excitement. She called Ernest into the dining room and they both took a seat. My mother gave a long sigh and then said, “We have something very important we need to discuss with you. Nicole, I am saying this because I love you. We have been talking this over and we think it’s time for you to get married.”
“What?” I had to stop myself from laughing; they couldn’t be serious.
“Don’t laugh. This is not a joke. You are twenty-eight and it is time to get yourself together. You are not getting any younger and you can’t live here with us forever.”
“You know what, you are so right,” I agreed, still trying not to laugh in their faces.
My mom was still taking herself very seriously. “You don’t have to tell me. I know I am right.”
“And Nikki, there are a few guys at my job I can introduce you to. One just got a divorce a few weeks ago. He is a nice guy,” Ernest joined in.
“Are you two finished? I’m going to sleep,” I yawned. Did they really think there were all these eligible men and I just wasn’t ready? They both were crazy. I was still giggling to myself at Lolo and Ernest’s marriage intervention as I watched television.
My phone rang. I answered it and a voice called out, “So you just going to take advantage of me and not call me anymore?”
“Who is this?”
“It’s Dre.”
“What’s up?”
“So you just going to take advantage of me and not call me anymore?”
“I took advantage of you? That’s not how I recall it.”
“Yeah, you did. Were you sleeping or do you have company?”
“No, I’m not asleep. I wouldn’t answer the phone if I had company.”
He laughed a little and said, “I guess not. Well, I was on my way in the house and I just wanted to check in on you. You haven’t called me in a couple of days.”
“I know, I’ve been a little busy.”
“So, when am I seeing you again?”
“I don’t know. Soon.”
“You know I got some free time to look at your house. If you not too busy, I want to go and check on your house tomorrow.”
“Maybe. I’ll call you when I get off,” I said as I ended the call. I wasn’t sure how I felt about Dre. He was nice, but I wasn’t in a rush to be involved—but if he wanted to look at my house I would let him.
I didn’t have to call Dre because he called me and asked for the address and met me at the house after I got off work. I took the padlock off the front door and we walked in. I didn’t have the electric turned on, so he pulled out his flashlight and looked around. We walked into the kitchen and he hit the wall a few times. Then we went upstairs and toured the second floor. Dre shined his flashlight on the ceilings and floors of each room. We inspected the back room last. He jumped up and down on the floor a little bit and said, “Your floor is good in here. All you need in this room is to tear down the wallpaper and paint. That middle-room ceiling is going to have to be replaced and your front room and downstairs all need new sheetrock. This house is not that bad, though.”
“It’s not?” I asked, surprised, as we came back down the stairs.
“No, it won’t even take that long to fix. I can have my brother on it as soon as we finish up this other job.”
“How much is it going to be?”
“It is probably going to take less than fifteen thousand to fix this place up.”
“I don’t have any money. Can you put me on a payment plan?” I joked.
“We’ll see about that,” he laughed, as his phone started chiming. He looked down at it briefly and said, “So, I’m gonna call you later. Okay? A matter of fact, take a ride with me real quick.”
I got in his truck and then we drove a few blocks to a house that was getting remodeled. There was a big Dumpster outside. When Dre got out of the car, everybody stopped what they were doing. I couldn’t even hear what he was saying. But Dre looked real good talking to his workers. They were respecting him and listening intently to his every word. I liked the way he was the one who delegated shit to others. After he finished talking to his work crew, he jumped back in the car with his cell in its usual position—attached to the side of his head. One of the workers ran up to the truck. Dre rolled down the window. The man said hello to me and then he asked Dre to call him, stating they needed to talk as soon as possible. Dre told him he would call him.
“That’s my little brother, Brandon. He trying to get me to pay him and he is not done. I put up with him because I’m trying to keep him out of the streets.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, he just had to do six months in the county. He had to figure out the hard way that he’s not built for jail. Anyway, I’m going to have him start your house as soon as they get done with this one.”
“So, is he going to take a long time on my house?”
“No, I’m not going to let him. I’m going to make sure of that.” Dre drove me back to my car and gave me a kiss on my forehead and told me he would call me later.
CHAPTER 12
I have been going back and forth with my sister through e-mail. She lives in Hartford, Connecticut, with her boyfriend, and she just graduated from the University of Connecticut. She is twenty-two and has already been accepted to medical school. She seems so nice. I have a brother, Ray, who’s in the army. He’s stationed in Germany and married with three kids. She gave him my number and he has called me a few times. Our conversations were very awkward, but we are going to have dinner when he comes back to the States.
Initially, I was so happy and flattered Candice found me. But now she is calling me every day, bugging me like a real little sister. One day I had four messages on my voice mail just from her. It was a little uncomfortable. She was trying to make up for years in a few weeks. We can’t jump right into being sisters—to me, she’s still practically a stranger. I didn’t want to be mean, but she was moving too fast. Every e-mail she wrote was addressed Hey, Big Sister. I knew we were sisters, but still we didn’t grow up with one another. I don’t think that sister bond forms instantly. I was still trying to come to terms with everything. I needed time and she was rushing me. She was in town and wanted to meet me for lunch and I was going to tell her to slow down when we met up.
I met Candice at Cosi, this little coffee house on Walnut Street. It was very crowded. People were typing on their laptops and reading newspapers. She was sitting at a small, two-seat wooden table. When she saw me she jumped up and hugged me. Her thick hair was pulled into a sloppy ponytail and she was dressed in khakis and a long black T-shirt.
“Hi, big sis. I ordered you a mint tea. You got to try it. It’s so good and I didn’t know if you wanted a salad or sandwich.”
“I’m not hungry. I’ll probably just drink this tea. How long are you here for?” I asked.
“Just for a few days. And I wanted to apologize if I’ve been coming on a little strong and bugging you. It’s just…” she blushed. “Well, I always wanted a sister.”
“Me, too. Don’t worry about it. You’re not bugging me.” I lied to her because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
“Oh, here, before I forget,” she said as she handed me an envelope. I opened it and was stunned to see all these pictures of our father. There were pictures of him from different stages of his life: army pictures, his high school graduation, and family vacation pictures.
In a lot of the pictures he had big hair, and in one he even had a Jheri curl. I held up the picture with the Jheri curl. “This one gotta be from the eighties.”
“Right, yes, Daddy had his curl for a long time.”
“It looked like y’all had a good time. Where were y’all here?” I asked as I admired a picture of her, Ray, and their parents in front of a roller coaster, all making silly faces.
“Oh, I think we were in Busch Gardens in Virginia.”
“That’s nice. So nice. So how was Daddy? Was he like real nice? Or what? He seems like he was just a really good dad. You are doing so good and you’re so smart. You are so lucky you got to grow up with him,” I said, staring down at the pictures.
“It was okay. It was regular.”
“You don’t know how I wish I could have just known him, just a little. Thank you for these pictures.”
“It’s nothing. I got more.”
“This really means a lot. I never had any pictures of him. When I was growing up, and even today, if I am in a mall and see a father with his children, I get a little sad. You know, watching the fathers look after their kids and making sure they are okay. They would be holding their hands, making sure their children were safe—that used to really get to me. And I don’t know why, but sometimes I found myself getting jealous…even angry. I couldn’t help feeling that way because I never had a father to look out for me like that. You know? Like one time I was in my car and I was flipping through radio stations and there was some song playing by some singer…John Mayer or somebody. Anyway, the lyrics went something like fathers being good to daughters, and girls turning into mothers or something like that. All I know is I just broke down and started crying. You ever hear that song?”
“Yeah, I know what song you are talking about. I like it.”
“That song is so deep, when I was hearing it, it made me so sad. Like I used to always tell my old best friend, if I would have known my dad, I wouldn’t have made some of the bad choices I’ve made.”
Candice cleared her throat and said, “Uhm, Daddy was okay. He wasn’t like the best dad ever. Like, you know, we didn’t live with my father or mother growing up.”
“No, I didn’t know that. Who did y’all live with? They stayed together, right?”
“They were together, but they both had habits and my grandmother raised us. They were both in and out of rehab. One would get clean and then the other would go back out there.”
“Really?” I asked. I couldn’t believe it. She just showed me all those nice family pictures. They didn’t look like they could have been a family affected by drugs. People who did drugs didn’t go on vacation or take pictures and make sure their kids went to school.
“Like what kind of drugs?” I asked.
“They both were on crack. It isn’t easy for me to say this, but you didn’t really miss anything with Daddy. He was there with us, but he wasn’t. My mother and father loved each other—I guess. But they loved drugs more than their kids. See, my mom was functioning. She hid her habit real good for years. She got up, went to work, and paid some of our bills, but Daddy didn’t have the same control. When he was using, he would get skinny and even used to ask me and my brother for money. Then he would be so mean to us when he was getting high.”
“But I thought he was a teacher for all those years?”
“He was a teacher in the district. That’s who kept paying for him to go to rehab. I think the longest he was ever clean was like a year. My mother held it together for as long as she could. She was the kind…actually, she still is the kind who tried to make everything seem perfect even when it wasn’t.” Candice looked at her watch and then said, “I have to go. I really wanted to give the pictures to you. I’m about to go visit Daddy’s mom. My nana is seventy-seven. Do you want to go with me?”
“Where does she live?”
“In a retirement home in Lansdowne. It is about thirty minutes from here. Come on. You should go with me and meet your grandmother.”
“Okay, I’ll go,” I said softly. I was still in somewhat of a shock to learn that my daddy was an addict and that he wasn’t this perfect parent I had imagined him to be. Even more shocking was the fact that my brother and sister didn’t have the easy life that I thought they’d had. Candice had given me a lot to think about.
That retirement home was full of seniors with walkers and wheelchairs. Nurses wearing an array of colorful uniforms whisked back and forth; some were busy passing out meds from a medical cart, and others could be seen inside patients’ rooms, making beds or feeding sickly patients. And then there were the lazy ones, huddled by the nurses’ station, kicking it like they didn’t have shit to do.
We walked inside our grandmother’s bedroom. Her room was just a step up from being an actual hospital room. There was an electric bed with a metal guardrail and a call bell attached. A small three-drawer wooden dresser sat by the window.
“Nana,” Candice called out to a very skinny, diminutive brown woman with silver hair in cornrows. She was sitting on the bed watching television.
“You’re here, finally,” she said as she got off her bed. She was getting around good for a woman of seventy-seven. “Where is your brother? He said he was coming to see me. Y’all starting to forget about me?”
“No, we can’t forget you, Nana. He is still overseas, you know that. I brought someone for you to meet.”
“Who?” she said, looking around.
“Raymond’s oldest daughter.”
“Raymond got another daughter?”
“Yeah, and she came with me. Nana, this is my dad’s daughter, Nicole.”
“Hi,” I said as I waved from the doorway.
“Why she standing out there? Ask her to come on in this room.” I took her direction and came on in.
“Well, how come he ain’t never say anything? Come here, girl, let me see you.”
I walked in front of her and she examined me with her eyes. She reached out and grabbed my hands and turned them over and then looked me in my eyes. I had no idea what she was looking for, but she turned to Candice and said, “Yup, she that boy’s girl. I wonder why he ain’t never say nothing.” Then she looked at me and said, “Well, I don’t have much for you, but here you go, sweetie, get yourself something.” I looked over at Candice as Nana tried to hand me money. I couldn’t accept her money.
“Now, go ahead, girl, take it. Don’t be rude. Somebody give you something you say thank you and be appreciative.” She turned her attention from me back to Candice. “Candy girl, you going to do my hair before you leave?”
“Yes, Nana, I always braid your hair for you.”
“’Cause I don’t know the next time I’m going to see you. Everybody always say how nice of a job you do to my hair. I say that my baby girl do my hair. The one who is going to be a doctor.”
I sat quietly as Candice braided Nana’s hair into two silver braids going around her head in a crown. Nana went on and on talking, telling so many stories out of sequence that I can’t remember what she said. At the end of our visit we hugged her and said good-bye. I opened my hand and there was a five-dollar bill folded in a square. “She probably needs this. I’m going to give it back to her.”
“No, please take it. She feels like she is helping you. She is getting up there and sometimes she doesn’t really know what’s going on anymore. She gave you five dollars. You lucky,” Candice laughed. “She used to give me and Ray a nickel each year.”
Me and Candice both broke up laughing. And she was slowly starting to feel like a sister.
CHAPTER 13
I love the springtime. It’s a time to take the layers off. It was March, and people were everywhere enjoying the warmth. The temperature was only seventy degrees, but after months of thirty-two degrees and below, today felt like summer. Though I was trying not to rush things, I couldn’t help it, and I was happy to hear from Dre. I answered the phone smiling. “Hey, Dre.”
“Hey, where are you?”
“Driv
ing. I’m on my way home.”
“You have time to meet up real quick?”
I looked down at my clothes. I looked very business-like. Nothing about my pants suit read sexy. “I’m not really dressed. I still have on my work clothes.”
“I know what you look like dressed up. When I met you, you were wearing a suit, remember? So, stop playing. I’m at John’s on the corner of Fourth and South. Come meet me.”
“Okay.”
Dre was sitting at a circular table outside on the sidewalk. He looked so handsome. I watched as every woman who walked past our table was taking notice of him. His powder-blue sweater was hanging perfectly over his white button-down shirt and tie, and his dark blue jeans gave it a dressed-down effect.
“So I just wanted to hang out with you real quick. How was your day?”
“It was fine. The day is over, no need to harp on it. How about you?”
“I was just coming from bidding on this job, not too far from here. It’s a new parking lot and condo on Delaware Avenue.”
“Did you get it?”
“I’ll know in a few days.”
I munched on a salad and he had a steak and potatoes, which was surprising, but he still managed to eat a big slice of cheesecake by the end of the date. As the sun began to set, the temperature dropped a few degrees and it became a little chilly. He asked for the check and paid it. I set seven dollars down for the tip. Dre grabbed my hand and held it as we walked toward my car.
“So it was nice seeing you again, even if it was only for a minute.”
“Yeah, good seeing you too.” Dre smelled and looked so good. I wanted to just take him home with me. I was waiting for him to kiss me good night. He didn’t make his move so I made mine. I tried not to, but I couldn’t help myself. I pulled him into me and passionately kissed him for a few seconds, then I said good night and turned to get in my car.
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