“You can’t have chicken on your menu. Black people always serving chicken at their weddings. Be creative. Why not have lobster, shrimp, and scallops on your menu?” Lolo asked.
“Some people have seafood allergies. Everybody eats chicken.”
“Chicken. How typical. But if that’s the way you want it, fine. Fine, Nicole, have Popeyes cater your wedding! I give up. Here, look at the seating chart,” she said, shoving the chart in my hand. I looked down at the seating chart—it was all wrong. My mom had all the Hills in the back of the banquet hall.
“Why is Dre’s family all clumped together?”
“It wasn’t intentional. I just sat them all together. I figured they would be comfortable sitting with they own kind.”
“Their own kind? Undo this. Everybody has to get to know each other.” I handed her back the chart. “Change it, Mom. Mix everybody up.”
“If you say so, but I know it is uncomfortable sitting next to people you do not know.”
“Mom, it’s my wedding.”
“I know whose wedding it is. I’m just saying. Why you so worried about his family?”
“I’m not. I just want everyone to mingle and enjoy themselves.”
“Yes, you are. I guess you going to get married and forget about me.”
“No, I’m not. Weren’t you the one who told me to get married? There is no pleasing you, lady. Mom, I don’t have time for this. I will do my own seating chart,” I said, and grabbed the chart out of her hand and put it in the bag and got ready to leave.
“Just make sure I get it back tomorrow.”
“I will. I have to go, thank you.” I knew her feelings were hurt and I honestly didn’t want her to feel like she was being kicked to the curb, but I really didn’t have time to deal with her insecurities.
Dre insisted we share a quiet evening at home together. But it seemed crazy to be sitting up in bed with him, munching on popcorn and watching American Gangster for the thousandth time when I could be taking care of important wedding business.
“Write your vows,” I blurted while Denzel was gunning down some dude who stole money from him.
“Hold up!” Dre leaned forward as if seeing the scene for the very first time.
“Damn, Dre. A wedding is the most important day in a woman’s life. I am so stressed from handling everything by myself. Why won’t you take our wedding more seriously?” My voice was shaky and I made it extra high-pitched, like I was about to break down and cry.
Dre put his arm around me. “I’ll try to take it more seriously. Okay?” He kissed me on the cheek. “I’m sorry I’m not acting all excited, but, baby, I want to marry you and whatever you decide I agree with it.”
“So, you want me to write your vows?”
He grinned. “Yeah?”
“Dre!” I punched him playfully. “Come on, baby. That’s the only thing you have to do. Please.”
“Okay, I’ll get on it tomorrow.” His eyes flitted back to the TV screen.
“What about your children?” I asked, bringing him back to the topic of the wedding. “We have to get them fitted and buy them shoes.”
“She said they couldn’t come.”
“Who said they couldn’t come?”
“Jocelyn.”
“How can she make a decision like that? You are their father!”
“It doesn’t matter. She is trying to start some shit. I’d rather she say no now, rather than let us get everything together and then they don’t show up on the day of the wedding.”
Dre was right. I couldn’t argue with what he’d said. But even though I had never met this Jocelyn, I really disliked her and I didn’t like the way she treated my future husband. I got up and went to the kitchen to work on the seating chart. Dre put the movie on pause and followed me. He sensed that I wasn’t feeling the way his ex had control over him and his relationship with his kids. I took that shit personal. He grabbed my hand and stopped me just before I sat down at the table to work on the seating chart. Dre lifted my chin up and looked me in the eyes. “Baby, the only thing that really matters is on October fourth you are standing in front of the preacher and us becoming husband and wife. After that, we out! Boarding a plane to Hawaii.” He smiled and kissed me.
“You right,” I said as I kissed him back, feeling reassured. The important thing was that we were getting married. Jocelyn or nobody else could stop that. He leaned me back on the kitchen chair and began trying to unzip my pants and kiss me. I sat up and pushed him off me and zipped my pants back up.
“No, I have to finish doing this seating chart.”
“It’s starting already. Syeed said it was going to happen,” he said, shaking his head.
“What’s starting? What did ya boy, Syeed, tell you was going to happen?”
“He said that as soon as I put a ring on your finger, you was going to stop giving me some.”
“Well, tell him he right,” I laughed and started working on the seating arrangements, which was as difficult as putting together a five thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle.
CHAPTER 28
“Where are you? I really need to talk to you, Nicole.” “Hey, girlie, where the baby girl at?” I asked Tia.
“With my mom.”
“I’m at my job, catching up on some work. I have been slacking off bad with all the wedding planning and everything. Don’t forget, we are going to pick up the dresses on Saturday.”
“I won’t, but listen, I need to meet up with you today.”
“Okay, you can meet me at my house. What’s up? What’s so important?”
“I’ll tell you when I see you.”
I told her I would meet her at my house at six.
Tia was already sitting in front of the house when I arrived home. Her facial expression told me she was going through something. I knew it had something to do with that no-good ass, Lamar. I hoped she didn’t take the baby to the jail to visit him. “What’s wrong, girl? You look really upset,” I said as I unlocked the door and went in the house. I placed the mail down on the mantelpiece. Tia took a seat and began rocking back and forth.
“Listen, sit down. I have something to tell you. Actually, I have a whole lot to tell you. Now, I wouldn’t be a real friend if I didn’t come clean about a few things.” She looked at me and said, “I know Dre. I know Dre, very well.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Tia?”
“I used to have threesomes with his girlfriend, Jocelyn, and him.”
In my mind, I felt like I had just been kicked in the back of my head, but I managed to keep my cool. In a real calm voice, I corrected her and said, “You mean his ex-girlfriend, Jocelyn.”
“Yeah, and Jocelyn is my ex, too. We just kind of broke up, too.”
“Your ex? What? Okay, you right. I need to sit down.” The room was starting to spin a little. Tia was coming at with me some crazy shit that I wasn’t the least bit prepared for. She needed to explain what the hell she was talking about.
“Nik, when I was in Columbia, I was living with Dre’s ex, Jocelyn. Me and her been dealing with each other, but we both still had boyfriends. So when Lamar left me, I called her and she came down and stayed with me. And from the moment she started staying with me, Dre started going crazy. He kept calling me, threatening me and her. Nicole, he is still in love with her. I can’t believe he is trying to marry you. He was just in Columbia, begging Jocelyn to come back home and be with him.” What the fuck? That was the only thing that went through my mind. Did she just sit here and tell me she was bisexual and that Dre’s been chasing his ex the whole time we have been together? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I needed a drink.
“What? When? How has he been down there when he has been here with me and he is always working? How could he? How far is Columbia from Atlanta?”
“Like four hours. Listen, I saw him with my own eyes. When did y’all start dating?”
“I met him in, like, February.”
“So, it’s September. I don’
t know exactly what month he stopped coming, but it was real hot when he came down for his last few visits.”
“Did he come to see his kids?”
“No, I’m telling you he was there for Jocelyn. She was back and forth with the kids. She sent them up all the time. He was there for her,” Tia insisted.
“Why are you just saying something? Oh, my God. I feel so stupid,” I said as I got up and paced the living room, back and forth. I couldn’t believe Dre, the man who claimed he loved me, was still begging another woman to be with him.
“Nicole, I wanted to say something sooner, but I was trying to mind my business. When you said his name, I was like, what a coincidence. Then I was thinking, no way. There are a million and one Dres. It’s a common name. I had no idea he was the same person, until you were walking him over to me and I’m like…oh, shit! Dre is Dre. I swear. I never put it together. And before I could react, you walked away and I didn’t want to cause a scene, and it wasn’t appropriate at the party. I wasn’t going to say anything at all. I really wasn’t. Then I thought about it, like I would be on some real shady shit if I don’t say something.”
“So, Dre, you, and Jocelyn. I don’t understand, how did all this Jocelyn stuff start?”
“It is a long story. I met her through one of my coworkers. And at first we just talked a lot. I could tell her shit about Lamar, and she was listening to me and telling me her problems. We hung out a couple of nights. And one of the nights, she invited me to her house. When we got there, she started teasing me and began kissing me and I don’t know, one thing led to another.”
“One thing led to another doesn’t make sense. Did you know she was gay? This is so unbelievable. You never been into women. I would have never dreamed you got down like that.”
“I didn’t. She was my first. I didn’t even know how to feel in the beginning, but little by little, I was with it. So, then she was like, ‘Can my boyfriend join in?’ And I met him a couple of times, so I tried it. And it was all fun in the beginning. But he wasn’t really with it one hundred percent. ’Cause every time we would all get together, he would cuss her out and call her a gay bitch the next morning. Then he would apologize. So, we stopped the threesomes ’cause he couldn’t handle it. But then he started calling me, like he wanted to get together with me one-on-one. I told him no, and he started feeling some type of way, and was like he didn’t want me around her by myself.”
I shook my head. “None of this sounds like Dre.”
“It’s Dre, and remember when I was pregnant the last time? It was his baby. He said it wasn’t his, but it was because the condom bust and Lamar was in jail that month.”
Now I was ready to pass the fuck out. “Oh, my God! Don’t tell me your Timarnet is Dre’s daughter?”
“No, definitely not.”
I could feel relief washing over me. “So, you think he still really wants to be with her?”
“Yeah, no doubt about it. Nikki, he is never going to stop loving her. You should not marry him. If you marry him, he is going to still cheat with her. She got some kind of magic over him. She would tell me that Dre does whatever she tells him to do. They one of those couples that been together forever who ain’t never going to really break up. They would go in the room and I would hear things move and I would usually just leave out for a few hours. And when I got back they would always be lovey dovey, talking and whatnot, and then he would go.”
“I know they were together for years, but he said he was tired of her and the back and forth, and his whole family hates her.”
“They hate her because no matter what they say or do, he always goes back to her.”
In the middle of us talking, Dre called my phone several times. I didn’t answer it.
“Is that him that keeps calling?”
“Yeah.”
“I knew it. That’s another thing. He is real possessive and he always want to know where you are and what you doing. And he try to put you with his family, so he can always have tabs on you. Jocelyn got tired of that bullshit and his crazy family. She said they were all fake and full of shit.”
My phone started ringing again. This time, I picked up. I couldn’t hide my disgust, and said, “Yeah, what’s up?”
“What’s up? Where you at, Nikki, and why you talking like that? What’s wrong with you?”
I could barely talk. All I could get out was, “You already know. Damn, Dre. Wow! All I can say is wow.”
“What are you talking about?”
“So, you been begging Jocelyn to get back with you. Huh? While you planning a wedding with me, you begging that no-good, don’t-wanna-work, ain’t-got-nothing bitch to take you back?” Tia probably didn’t expect me to confront Dre while she was there, but I couldn’t hold back. I was fired up.
“What are you talking about? Who told you that?”
“Don’t worry about who told me. Just answer me. Is it true?”
“No, it’s not true. Where are you?” As soon as he began lying to me I couldn’t take it. I just powered my phone off. Minutes later, he walked in my house and walked past Tia like she wasn’t even there.
“Come upstairs. Let’s talk.”
“Ain’t too much to talk about, Dre,” I said.
And then he looked me dead in the center of my eye and said, “Nik, listen, baby, whatever has happened in the past is in the past.”
Before he could complete his sentence, Tia was like, “He is a liar and he been lying all along.”
“I’m a liar?” he said as he got in her face.
“Yeah, you are a liar and you know it.”
“Bitch, you need to mind your business.”
“I got your bitch.” Tia pointed at me. “Nikki is my business. You telling her you left Jocelyn and you know damn well you didn’t leave her, she left you! Tell Nikki how you been calling Jocelyn for the last six months, begging for her to come back to you. Does she know how you was flying to Columbia every time you had a chance?”
“Why are you going to sit up here and make shit up? Are you crazy?” Dre asked her, shaking his head.
“No, I’m not crazy.”
I turned my attention to Dre. “Is any of this true?” I sniffled and tried to keep my nose from running. He didn’t say anything. As I screamed for Dre to get out of my house, I saw Tia leaving.
“Let’s talk.” His tone was soft and pleading. I could see the pain in his eyes.
But I wasn’t having it. I folded my arms across my chest. “There is nothing to talk about. I don’t know her and I most definitely don’t know you.”
“Nicole, I promise you there is nothing going on between me and Jocelyn. I did go to South Carolina a couple of times. I don’t know what Tia is telling you, but I was not constantly trying to get back with that girl. The first time I went down there, me and you wasn’t even speaking. That was after your windows were busted. Now, I’m not gonna lie. I did ask her was it really over then. All the other times that I went down there were to visit my children. But we didn’t even sleep together.”
“Somebody is lying. Tia doesn’t have any reason to.”
“She has a lot of reasons to lie. You know what, fuck it, Nicole. Believe what you want to,” Dre hollered as he left out my house, leaving me behind with so many unanswered questions.
CHAPTER 29
The other night I was in my house and I pulled out my ring and just stared at it. It was so pretty, but yet it was so damn ugly. It represented deception. The love it was supposed to symbolize, I no longer believed in. It was supposed to represent the union of me and Dre, but we were no longer a unit. I’d been hiding out from Dre and Tia. I really didn’t want anyone all up in my business, asking questions and starting rumors, so I’d been wearing my ring to work. This was some crazy shit, though. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know if I ever would understand why this happened. What are the chances that I’d meet a stranger at a gas station and fall in love with him, only to find out that my best friend, who was living out of town, h
ad already fucked him? The thought of them being together made my stomach ache. They had seen each other naked and been extra intimate with one another. And how could Tia be gay and not tell me? Why would she keep that a secret? I wouldn’t have judged her. Then I was mad at her for coming to my house when she got back from Columbia, having this big meeting with me. She gave me this elaborate story about Lamar leaving her, and how she was down there all alone, when she was really booed up with Jocelyn. And I didn’t know if there was any truth about Dre still being in love with Jocelyn. I didn’t know what to believe. I felt like a fool. Like I had been living a lie for all these months. I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want to tell my mom, but I had to. Surprisingly, she was so understanding and, of course, she was really on my side. I think she was disappointed too, because I think for the first time in my life she was proud of me. But she kept her opinion to herself, which was a first for Lolo.
I know nothing ever works out the way you plan it. However, you could not tell me I would be in my house all alone. I hated being in my house alone. I really didn’t know what to do with myself. I wandered from room to room, feeling abandoned and betrayed. But I was so sick of my every-night pity parties for one. I looked at my beautiful ivory gown hanging in the closet and thought, Why me? I turned my head away. I really couldn’t look at my wedding gown. It hurt too much and I didn’t want to start crying again. If I was going to be miserable and sulk I needed someone to do it with me. So I invited Reshaun over, hoping she could cheer me up and give me some words of wisdom.
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