“Then I go to Herb Brenner. Try to tell him and he doesn’t want to hear it. Says he always suspected Johnson but he couldn’t pin anything on him.” He hung his head and studied the floor. “Johnson must’ve got to him before you did. D’you recall mentioning anything to him.”
Nick went cold. “I was there. At The Beanery. Before I went to Herb’s. I told Danny I was going there.”
“He’s a fast worker. Probably paid Herb a little visit and staged the suicide.”
Nick sat back, his stomach heavy. He felt so tired. Ike continued.
“And now your girl’s gone and I can’t live with all this shit any more. I’m going straight to Brad Brenner’s place to tell him everything. They can do what they want with me. I don’t care any more.”
Nick sat back and looked out the window. “If she saw Johnson kill Gorman, why did she ask him to be a witness at our wedding?”
Ike’s dry laugh was more like a sneer. “Thought you were a smart guy and you haven’t worked that out yet. Your girl’s a genius. She had to get Johnson away from his house for long enough to…”
“To set the fire,” the truth seemed like a sharp ray of light.
“Only we don’t know what she has on Johnson and whether she’s still alive.” Ike sat forward in his chair and shook his head. “I hope to god she is, Hendricks, because that girl’s not only the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, she’s a fucking hero.”
They sat there quietly in the low light of the room as the sun set over the lake, then Ike got up and let himself out of the house. Nick waited for the roar of the engine, then hung his head and cried.
29
Late morning the next day, Nick crossed the Canadian border at North Portal, Saskatchewan and hit the Trans-Canada Highway to Lethbridge. There were a few tense moments at the border when he tried to explain to the customs guy he was meeting his new wife in Edmonton but didn’t have an actual address to give them. Luckily he remembered reading about a massive hotel at The Mall of America, and told the border guy he was staying in one of the fantasy suites. That seemed to satisfy him and soon Nick was speeding north over roads bumpy with potholes and a bleak, flat landscape that reminded him of home.
He’d always heard the Saskatchewan part of the drive was the most boring, but the endless stretch of snow-covered prairie calmed his aching head. The occasional truck slammed by, but he was happy listening to music and watching the miles click away. His plan was to get to Lethbridge and find Lilah’s grandmother. Maybe she’d be able to tell him where the photograph was taken.
Once he’d found the hockey arena he’d start asking around to see if anyone remembered them. It seemed quite possible that she could’ve taken herself up there after setting the fire at Danny’s. He was sure now of her involvement and he wanted answers. It was also clear she’d come to Silver Narrows with one purpose. To find Danny Johnson and make him pay for something so bad, she’d spent a lifetime planning it. He hoped the fact that they’d met and fallen in love was simply a lucky coincidence, but there was a small nagging doubt in his heart that she’d pinpointed him before even coming to Silver Narrows and their relationship was just part of a larger plan.
He stopped for lunch just outside of Lethbridge and devoured a bacon burger and fries. The loud buzz of his phone interrupted his thoughts. For one brief moment he thought it might be Lilah, but the call display showed Brad’s number. He grunted a hello.
“Enjoying the sun down there,” said Brad.
Nick’s brain scrambled quickly to remember where he was supposed to be. “Beats the crazy wind chill,” he said. “Or is spring there already?”
“Fat chance,” said Brad. “I gather you had a visitor last night and I just wanna keep you up to speed with what’s going on.”
“Ike told you everything?” said Nick, imagining the guy lying there in the tiny cell, his whole life reduced to a small space.
“Spilled his guts. On tape too. We’re gonna charge Johnson with five counts of murder. Gorman’s and then the remains at his house were identified. They match with the dental records of all those four kids. So he’s our guy. No doubt. Heaven knows how many more he killed in the other places he passed through. There’s an international investigation going on right now to trace his movements.”
“And Susan Jonas?”
“Dewar showed us where he thought she was buried, but we might have to wait a while to dig. I’ve never seen that big guy in such a state. Like a baby, bawling his eyes out and calling for her to forgive him. Brought tears to my eyes.”
“Will he be charged?”
“Maybe obstruction of justice. Who knows? Maybe we can work out a deal because he’s helping us nail Johnson. So you have your final chapter, Hendricks. Just wait a year or two to publish it. Wait till we get Johnson safely behind bars.”
Nick ended the call. Maybe he did have an ending, or maybe there was still one more chapter.
Passing a high metal railway bridge, he entered the city of Lethbridge, a smallish place not unlike Grand Forks or any other prairie town. The hospital was a rectangular brownish brick building that spanned more than a city block. Armed with recent pictures of Lilah and the old family photograph, he walked inside, unsure where to even start looking for Lilah’s grandma.
The reception desk was manned by a middle aged woman wearing black-rimmed glasses. She chewed gum and made a loud, snapping noise as she stretched it over her tongue and let it go. Nick pushed Lilah’s photo towards her.
“It’s my wife. I’m looking for her grandma,” he said.
The woman shrugged. “Don’t recognize her. And I can’t give out patient information if you don’t have ID.”
“You sure?” he asked again.
“I told you,” she said, picking up the buzzing phone.
He wandered away to another corridor and stopped an orderly to ask where the seniors’ ward was. The guy directed him to the second floor. A faint stink of dried urine floated into his nostrils when he reached the ward. He passed the nursing station where strangely nobody took any notice of him. A TV room was nearby. Three or four old souls in blue gowns sat staring open-mouthed at a soap opera scene featuring two lovers in a hot embrace. What was it like to remember when it was all behind you? The thought spurred him on to find Lilah. To make the most of their time together.
He stepped quietly inside the lounge and picked out a tiny lady in a wheelchair who stared enraptured at the screen. “Excuse me,” he said as quietly as possible. “I wonder if you can help me.”
She turned and smiled. “Sonny, I’d do anything for a looker like you.”
“Have you seen this woman visit someone here?”
She took the picture and stared at Lilah’s lovely face. “Oh yes. So beautiful. A real princess. She’s Gloria’s little girl. Can’t take your eyes off her. Just like the girls on TV.”
Nick felt the thrill of hope. “Where’s Gloria?”
The lady shook her head and laughed. “Won’t get much sense out of Gloria. She’s gone cuckoo, but you can find her three doors down from here.”
“Thank you so much,” he said, turning to go, but the old lady grasped his wrist. “You have any chocolate?”
He shook his head. “Don’t eat it. But I can give you a few bucks to buy some.”
She grinned. “Ten bucks will do it. Cheap bastards don’t give us anything round here.”
He left he room twenty bucks lighter, surprised at how the sweet old lady turned out to be a pretty good hustler.
Gloria was sitting in a wheelchair that faced the window. A flock of birds scattered across the sky and her head followed their progress. She was a tiny fragile woman with a long, white braid hanging down her back. Nick padded across the room and stood beside her. It was clear she’d been a beautiful woman. The bones of her face were as chiselled and fine as Lilah’s, though her nose was more arched. Her lips were finely curved and her face covered in fine lines like a polished walnut. Delicate turquoise earrings hung from her
ears. Nick recognized them as dreamcatchers. He’d seen them at the Ojibwa museum in Onamia. When she turned to look at him, her eyes were the same shape as Lilah’s but were dark hazel in colour.
“Alex?” she said, searching his face. “It’s cold out there. Where’s your hat?”
He held out the picture. “Is she here?” he whispered, his heart in his throat.
She reached out a papery hand and took the picture, her face wrinkling into a toothless smile. Then holding it to her heart, she rocked back and forth. “My little girl. All alone and left behind. Always wanted broccoli. She made me laugh. Na-ah[1]give me some trees she said. But she never put the skates on again. Never stepped on the ice any more. The monsters are there, Na-ah. The bad man. Is there soup today, Alex? I fancy some chicken broth.”
He crouched down closer. “I’m looking for Lilah.”
She began to chew her lip. “I always kept her hair clean. And she loved her white dress. When is Alex coming back?”
“Who’s Alex?”
“My son. My handsome son. When’s he coming for me.”
Tears started to trickle down her face. Nick stood up, worried he’d upset her. “Where did Alex go?”
“He’s an oilman. Up Fort McMurray way. He’s a good boy, my Alex and he loves his children.”
“Is this Alex?” said Nick, showing her the old photograph.
She clasped it, her eyes widening. “I knew he’d send word when he found out I was here.” She began to point. “That’s Alex, and that’s Brenda and there’s Conrad and Paul and Ronnie and – oh – there’s my Lilah. Oh they’re so happy.”
She started to rock again and the smile turned to a frown. Then she began a strange, high-pitched whining. Like some kind of death chant. Gone, gone, all gone, she moaned.
Nick moved away from her at the sound of footsteps in the hallway. A nurse in a pink overall burst through the door, her eyes flashing. “Just who do you think you are, walking in and upsetting our patients?”
Nick backed away, holding up a hand. “I’m looking for my wife,” he said.
“Who’s your wife?”
“Lilah. Her granddaughter.”
The nurse looked puzzled. “You’re the hockey player?”
Nick shook his head.
“Funny. I thought they just got back together.”
“You must be mistaken,” said Nick. “We were married a week ago.”
“Could’ve sworn she said it was just a trial separation.”
“I have a letter for that boy,” said Gloria in a moment of unexpected clarity that took Nick off guard. She handed the nurse an envelope.
“Are you Nick Hendricks?” said the nurse.
He nodded.
“ID please.”
He showed her his drivers’ license and after studying it for a few endless seconds, she handed him the letter. “It’s time for Gloria to rest now. I hope this answers your questions.”
Outside he turned the envelope over. A message was written across the back. Don’t read this until you’ve visited Fort McMurray. Resisting the urge to rip it open, he jammed it into his pocket. So she knew he’d follow her here and now she was guiding him closer and closer until he found her.
Snow was falling the next evening when Nick drove into Fort McMurray. A blue sign saying We have the energy welcomed him to town. He crossed a wide black river into a row of newish hotels and neat rows of houses. Further on into the downtown he passed glittering glass and steel office buildings. All new construction. He wondered what the place was like when Lilah was a child.
He checked into a hotel – a green roofed stone and timber structure with a massive stone fireplace in the lobby. From the window of his room he looked down the street at the neat rows of houses flanked by tall spruce and pine trees. Beyond them the thick forests of tall black pine were silhouetted against a sunset that painted the clouds a purply red. The street lights twinkled in the half dark. For some reason he couldn’t explain, he felt close to Lilah. The idea that she’d been here and maybe looked down this same street was something they now shared. But there wasn’t a moment to waste.
He’d already looked up hockey arenas. With eleven outdoor arenas and three indoor facilities, there was no shortage of places to skate here. But it turned out to be easy to find the right one. Two of the indoor arenas were brand new. Built in the last few years. The third was the one he wanted. All he had to do was walk around it until he found where Lilah’s family had their picture taken.
He passed row after row of neat, new, identical houses, each with their own low white metal fence. Strip malls made of pink brick cubes led him to a street of crumbling, plaster coloured row houses, each with its own identical porch covered with a triangular roof. For the most part the doors were boarded. The arena was at the end of the street. A square, grey concrete building, its parking lot packed with cars.
The beating of his heart started the moment he touched the metal bar on the arena door. He stopped for a moment. It had been over twenty years since he’d set foot inside an arena and now there was a fluttering in his stomach that made him nauseous. The feeling was partly excitement but also fear. Dread. Those memories that had haunted him since his hockey days. A cold sweat broke out onto his brow, but he told himself he had to do this for Lilah. She’d taken all that childhood horror and laid it out in the open. Helped him see there was no guilt or shame and no more fear. It was all behind him.
He took a deep breath and plunged inside. Immediately the sounds and smells hit him. The smell of hockey. Cold concrete, wet rubber, the clean, slightly chemical scent of ice mixed with sweat. The sweet, burning stink of popcorn and hot dogs. And the muffled chaos of shouting, blades cutting the ice, bodies banging into the boards. For a moment he felt the old thrill again. The thrill of the game. His feet itched to strap on skates and take a turn around the glassy ice surface.
Two teams of ten year olds flew round the ice, weaving in and out of each other, falling down, bashing into the boards. He remembered the feeling. The joy of moving like you were almost flying, your cheeks stinging hot and cold at the same time. Then he remembered why he was there and made his way to the office. Team pictures from over forty years back lined the walls. He’d find the Belanger family somewhere there. He was sure.
The guy in the office was sharpening skates when Nick knocked on the door. He was young – maybe in his mid twenties. Nick’s heart fell. He wouldn’t remember. Nick showed him the picture anyway. He nodded.
“Sure, that was taken outside the west entrance,” he said, wiping his arm across his face. “Don’t know the family. Before my time. You’d have to ask Doug. He’s been here since the seventies. Knows everything about everyone.”
“Where can I find him?”
“He’s retired now, but still comes here every night to watch the games. You can’t miss him. He’s the only guy here wears a Vancouver Canucks hat.”
Back in the rink area, Nick surveyed the spectators. The parents, screaming at their kids to skate harder, a few older locals and a tall, wiry guy with long grizzly hair and a brand new Canucks hat perched on his head.
“Doug?” he asked, tapping him on the shoulder.
“Who wants to know?” he said turning two steely grey eyes onto Nick.
“I’m looking for someone,” he said, trying to make himself heard over the din. “Can we step out into the lobby?”
Doug nodded and followed Nick out. “You a cop or something?”
Nick shook his head and held out the photograph. “I’m looking for someone in this picture. Can you help me.”
Doug studied the picture for a long while and then took a deep breath. “Only one person in this picture still alive. You must be looking for Lilah.”
Nick felt a rush of joy. “Yes – you’re right. She’s the one I’m looking for. You know her?”
Doug’s eyes seemed to cloud over. He nodded. “I guess she disappeared again.”
“You mean she’s done that before?”
The air in the room suddenly seemed stuffy. Nick felt dizzy, as if the ground had shifted right under his feet.
“Looks like you need a good, strong coffee,” said Doug, “ follow me and I’ll tell you all about Lilah and her family.”
30
Nick settled back in the metal arena chair and sipped on the bitter coffee.
“Tastes like tar but it’s hot,” said Doug, one arm resting on the table. His eyes fixed on the team pictures lining the walls. “I knew Alex Belanger – that’s Lilah’s dad – since he was in the Peewee league. Watched him go up through the ranks. That guy was good. He was gonna go pro and sign with the WHL. Swift Current Broncos I believe. From there the next step was the NHL, only he never signed. He’d met the beautiful Brenda. The most gorgeous girl in town, got her pregnant and decided to settle down and get married. He never regretted his decision. Got a good job as a heavy equipment mechanic in the oil sands. The early days before the crazy stuff started and this place grew too big for its own skin.
He had three boys: Conrad, then Paul and Ronnie, the twins. Then the little girl, Lilah. Those kids had skates on them before they could walk. All naturals like their dad. And Brenda – you’d see her every day holding that little girl’s hand and taking her round the ice. You could say they were the perfect family until trouble came into their lives and nothing was ever the same again.” Doug stopped and looked hard at Nick. “You sure you want to hear?”
Nick felt that pain again, pressing at the back of his eyes, but he had to know. He nodded his head.
Doug leaned back and sighed. “Must’ve been the early eighties. Anyway, this guy – a real hotshot – turns up out of nowhere claiming he’s an ex-NHL forward and he wants to coach the Peewee league. He was good. I saw him on the ice. Nobody knew where he came from, but there was talk he was an army guy at one time, then spent some time in the States. Soon he’s a full time coach. Looking after all the teams. Everybody’s happy for a while. Everyone except Alex. Seems his kids got so they don’t want to come to the practices any more and he can’t figure out why. They kick up a fuss but he makes them come anyway. But he stops in and has a word with the coach. Asks him why his boys don’t like hockey any more. The coach gets mad and says he’s got nothing to say. Then everything’s okay for a while until one day they have a game in some town a few miles down the road. Coach says he’ll drive the Belanger boys there. No problem. They kick up a fuss. Don’t want to go with him. Alex gets mad and says they have to go because it’s playoffs and playoffs are important. Anyway – to make a long story short – those boys never come back. Neither does the coach. Alex and Brenda go frantic. Search parties go out all over the area. They think maybe the coach has gone off the road and they’re stranded somewhere.”
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