“Can you come back in?” she asks.
“Sure.”
I follow her in to find my dad sitting at his desk, looking contrite and actually kind of nervous.
“Please sit,” he says, softly.
I do and wait quietly.
“Your mother reminded me of a goal of mine,” he says, slowly. “I was asked recently what my number one goal was in life. What did I want that I didn’t have.” He looks down briefly, then up again. “My answer was that I wanted my daughter to know she was loved. I wanted a relationship with her.” He exhales slowly. “I’m just not good at this, Kaia. You’re absolutely right about all of it. I feel better when I have things under control. That includes you.”
I nod, staying silent.
“I owe you an apology. You are an adult and you should be able to make your own choices. It’s just difficult for me after everything that’s happened. Plus, you’ll be across the country.”
“I feel better there, Dad. I feel free. My past doesn’t lurk over me like a dark cloud. It does here. Everywhere I go, all I think about are the things I’ve done.”
“I get that.”
“And…” I stop, deciding how far I want to go with this. “And, uh, Oliver, Dr. Scott, he’s become a good friend. Once my program ended, we talked about spending some time together outside of that environment.”
I wait for the explosive reaction, but when I don’t get one, I look at my mom, who shrugs in response.
Dad nods slowly. “Are you telling me that you’re in a relationship with your therapist?”
“He’s not my therapist.”
Dad’s jaw twitches slightly, and I can tell he’s trying to be careful with his words. “Okay, former therapist. Do you think that’s healthy?”
“I know it’s hard for you to understand because you only have one perspective, but I was there for all of it. I spent every single day for a month with him. We both wanted to make sure that if we decided to pursue something, that it was healthy for both of us. He’s never dated a former client so this is very new for him too.”
“And you’re planning to stay with him?”
“Yes. As you know, New York is a very expensive city.” My eyes tear as I try to dance around the truth. I can’t do it anymore. “Actually, Dad, I’m in love with him.”
Mom takes my hand in hers, smiling, as Dad just looks at me. After a moment of silence, he speaks.
“In love?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“How does he feel about you?”
I swallow hard. “The same.”
“I see.” He rubs his forehead for a moment. “Are you sure?”
“Have you ever heard me say that before? Have you ever even heard me say I was having dinner with anyone?” A tear streams down my face. “Dad, for as long as I can remember, I didn’t want anything from a man besides, you know.”
“I know.”
“Oliver made me want romance and love and simple things like taking walks and shopping together. He made me want normal stuff.”
“Normal stuff,” he repeats.
“I threw myself on him early on and he didn’t break. He helped me see that I didn’t have to use sex to get attention. He made me see who I was inside and learn to love her instead of seeking it out in bad ways.” I wipe my cheek. “I’m still working on it, but Dad, when I was there, I finally began to see myself as a woman with something to offer. I started to feel like I could be more than what I was. The sessions with him did that for me and as a result, I learned the difference, finally, between love and lust.”
Dad nods, not saying anything.
“I wasn’t going to tell you right away because I knew you would assume the worst. I knew you would think that it was wrong, but I know in my heart, nothing has ever been more right. I hope somehow you can find a way to accept it, because…”
I squeeze my lips together, trying not to cry. I wanted to stay strong.
“Because?” he repeats.
“Because I love him, Daddy, and I’m being brave enough to tell you.”
I see my parents exchange glances as I wipe my eyes. Dad stands and walks in front of me, kneeling down so that we’re face to face. When I notice tears in his eyes, my breath catches.
“Kaia,” he says, softly. “I haven’t told you enough, but I love you so much. So much,” he says, cupping my cheek. “I really do want your happiness, but I didn’t know how to protect you from yourself except to threaten and control you.”
I nod, gazing into his eyes.
“You are brave. Brave enough to go to New York to get your life back, brave enough to have a stand-off with me.” He chuckles. “And brave enough to let yourself fall in love. I’m proud of you. You made it to the other side. The past didn’t win.” He squeezes my hand. “I’m not gonna be able to be the perfect father overnight, but I’m gonna keep working on being a better one.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank you for coming here and pushing this to happen.” He wipes a tear from my cheek. “Before you go to New York, is there anyway we could talk to your new boyfriend?”
“What about?”
“If you’re going to be staying with him, in a relationship, then I’d like a chance to talk to him. Our last meeting wasn’t exactly positive.”
“Okay, well, he’s here.”
“Where?”
“At my place. He came to help me pack up.”
He glances at my mom. “How about dinner tonight? All of us, before you go.”
“Does this mean,” I choke on my words. “Are you giving me your blessing?”
He smiles, brushing his fingers over my cheek. “Yes, honey. You have my blessing.”
I fall into his arms, not holding my tears back anymore. I’ve never been so happy in my life.
AN HOUR LATER, I walk inside my apartment to find Oliver sitting on the couch, reading.
“How’d it go?” he asks, closing the book.
I smile. “You won’t believe it. He wants to have us over for dinner tonight.”
“Us?”
I nod. “Us. I told him everything.”
“Whoa.”
“I know.” I sit down, explaining how the whole meeting went as Oliver listens intently. “He said he gave us his blessing.”
“I can’t believe it,” he says, softly.
“Neither can I, but I guess he’s been in therapy and he’s really trying. He said if I was happy then he was just gonna be okay with it.”
“Wow, that’s huge.”
“Huge. Monumental. Epic.”
Oliver laughs. “Definitely epic.”
A FEW HOURS LATER, I take a deep breath as we pull up to the mansion.
“Was it here?” Oliver asks. “The thing with Jim.”
“No. We didn’t live here then. We had a small house in Pasadena. My dad bought this a few years ago.”
“It’s huge,” he says, peeking out the cab’s window.
“Wait till you see the inside. It’s ridiculous.” I laugh softly. “Your home is big and grand, but it’s tasteful and sexy. My mother’s taste borders on gaudy.”
“I’m glad you feel that way about my taste. We can change anything you want to suit you.”
“We’re not changing anything about that house.”
“One thing.”
“What?”
“Who lives there.”
I smile. “Okay, just that.” I look outside. “Are you nervous?”
“No. With you by side, I can handle anything. Even Christopher London.” I laugh as he takes my hand in his. “Ready?”
“I am.” We walk to the front door and wait for Lewis to let me in. My parents look up when we enter. Mom smiles and dad looks nervous.
“Hi,” Dad says, walking to me and giving me a hug and kiss on the cheek.
“Hi, Dad.”
He extends his hand to Oliver. “Dr. Scott.”
“Mr. London.”
“Please call me Christopher.” He offers a ha
lf smile, before turning to me. “Kaia, Margie, I’d like to speak with Dr. Scott alone for a few minutes, please.”
“Okay, Dad.” I walk out with my mom, looking behind me. “What’s he going to say?”
“Well, if he does what we talked about after you left, he’s going to apologize for being a world class asshole.”
I laugh. “That would be good.”
“And he’s going to ask him to take good care of you.”
“He will, Mom. He’s an amazing man.”
“I hope we’ll get to know him more as time goes on.”
“You can visit me anytime you want. We can go shopping in Manhattan.”
“I’d like that.” She pats my hand. “I really would.”
Dad and Oliver appear a few minutes later. “Ready for dinner?” Dad says.
Oliver smiles, putting his arm around my waist and kissing my cheek. “I’m ready. How about you, sunshine?”
A huge grin appears on my face. “I’m ready.”
LYING IN BED, hours later, I tickle Oliver’s chest. “Are you gonna keep me in suspense any longer?”
“Sorry, I was more focused on getting back to your delicious body than talking about your dad.”
“Tell me!”
He laughs. “It was good, babe. Really good. He apologized and told me he should’ve trusted your judgment and let you make your own choices.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. He said he was going to therapy and really working on some of his control issues. He thanked me for everything I did for you in therapy.”
“That’s pretty major.”
“It is. I asked him for his blessing to take you back to New York. I told him I would treat you well, that if you ever cried, I would kiss away your tears. If you ever hurt, I would sacrifice myself to heal you.”
“That’s so romantic.” I smile. “Did you really say that?”
Oliver shakes his head. “No, just in my head. Those words are only for you, and I mean all of it.”
“I know.”
“I did ask for his blessing though. I told him I needed you with me. Every day. I told him I would never let you go without a fight. Even if I had to fight him.”
“What did he say?”
“He said as long as I lived up to my word, he would never get between us. He told me if you want to go New York with me, then that’s what he wanted, too. He actually hugged me and welcomed me to your family.”
“No fucking way.”
He laughs. “Fucking way.”
“I’m blown away.”
“He loves you. He wants you to be happy. I believe that.”
I nod, smiling. “So we can go tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow’s good.” He kisses me so sweetly, I feel like I might melt into him. “But for tonight, the moon needs his sun.”
“She’s right here. She will be every day. I love you, Oliver.”
“Thank you for teaching me how to love you back.”
“Thank you for showing me it was possible.”
I snuggle into his arms and close my eyes, completely at peace.
THE NEXT DAY AFTER hours of travel, we finally walk inside the apartment. It’s late so the house is dark. I smile as soon as I see it again.
Oliver wraps his arms around my waist from behind, kissing the top of my head. “Happy to be back?”
“It feels like home.”
“It is.”
THE NEXT TIME I open my eyes, it’s morning, and I’m met with a cloudy sky and falling snow. I sit up, smiling.
“What is it?” Oliver asks, with sleep still in his voice.
“It’s so beautiful,” I whisper. “Isn’t it?”
Oliver sits up slightly and smiles. “It is. The first time you’ve seen snow?”
“Except on TV, yeah.”
“We’ll go to Central Park later and you can play in it.”
“I’d really like that.”
He tugs me back down, and I cuddle in his arms. “It’s a perfect morning to lie in bed and make love.”
“It is.”
Oliver’s lips move over my skin, gently kissing everywhere. “God, I missed seeing your body. It’s such an indulgence. It’s like being on a diet of water and bread for a hundred years and then all of a sudden a buffet appears.”
“With the best cupcakes you’ve ever had on it.”
“Yeah,” he says, nodding. “Sugar overload, but what a sweet way to kill your diet.”
“I don’t want to diet anymore, Oliver. I need my sugar fix every day.”
“You’ll have it. I promise.”
“What’s on the menu today, Doctor?”
“What do you want?”
I smile as I think back on a memory. “Do you remember the day in your office when you took your belt off and you were gonna punish me with it?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever used it on a girl?”
“I have.”
“Would you like to again?”
“No.”
“You sure?” I ask, tugging on my piercing. “I never got my spanking that day.”
“Shit, Kaia,” he whispers.
“I would like to feel that soft, expensive leather on my ass. I think it would be nice.”
“But you haven’t done anything wrong.”
“I know. It’s not for punishment. It’s for pleasure.” I wiggle my ass beneath his hand. “Only if it turns you on, Oliver.”
I can hear the sound of his heavy breathing, breathing before he slides out bed. The next sound is the jingle of the buckle as he picks up the belt. The next sensation is his hands roughly caressing my ass.
“I missed you,” I murmur. “Everything about you, Oliver.”
“Everything?”
“Yes.” He snaps the belt and I jump, but smile. “Fuck, that’s hot.”
“I know.” He twists his fist in my hair and pulls. “I missed you too.”
“Show me how much.” I roll over and raise my arms above my head.
“You sure you want this? Really sure?”
“Very sure.”
He exhales slowly and then smack! I blink rapidly as the leather meets my skin for the first time.
“Kaia?”
“Again.”
Smack! Oh fuck. Holy shit. I breathe hard into my pillow, trying to make sense of why this is so amazing.
“More, please,” I mutter.
Smack! I exhale slowly as my skin tingles. I part my legs, spreading them wider.
“Again, please.”
“Jesus, Kaia,” he says, softly.
“More.”
Smack! I moan as warmth spreads through my core. Oh my God, I just came with no touching at all.
Oliver’s cock pushes into me, and I gasp at the sensation. “Oooh, yes,” I mumble. “Yes, oh God, Oliver… I love you. I missed you. I was starving without you.”
He leans across my back and bites my ear. “You’re so perfect, Kaia. You were made for me.”
I nod as he pumps into me. He releases my hair and grips both of my hands in his. I love his weight pressing me into the bed, the way my skin still stings as he pounds into me. Every sensation is decadent. Every move delicious. He tenses and grunts, whispering my name.
Rolling over, he climbs into bed and pulls me up, cradling me in his arms. He brushes my hair away from my face as a warm smile settles over his features.
“How did I think I could live without the sun? Nothing can.”
“I was always here, Oliver. I was just behind the clouds.”
He tilts his head and then kisses me. “Yeah, but the sky is clear now.”
“Not a cloud in sight.”
LATER THAT DAY, I watch Kaia as she puts lotion on after our shower.
“Let me see your ass,” I say.
She walks closer to me and twists around. I run my fingers over the light welts there. I sigh, rubbing my dick as soon as I see them.
“It turns you on, doesn’t it, baby? To see the marks you
left.”
I nod. “Fuck, yeah. How does it feel?”
“Amazing.” She smiles. “I love it. I really do. I don’t know if it’s because I know how much it does for you, or if it really does something for me. It doesn’t matter though. I want it. I want to explore it deeper with you. No holding back. Whatever you want. I’ll be what you need, Oliver. That’s why our lives were brought together. You’re my beast and I’m yours.”
“I know. No matter how depraved I get, you won’t run.”
“Oliver, my love,” she says, cupping my chin. “It’s not depravity. It’s just how you’re wired and there’s nothing wrong with it. Do you hear me?” She bends, gazing into my eyes. “There is nothing wrong with the way we love.”
“I hear you, Kaia. I do.”
She sits on the couch, curling up in my lap. “Ultimately, all that matters is that you and I are together. Everything else is just noise.”
I kiss the top of her head, brushing her hair off her face.
Two months later…
“BUNDLE UP,” OLIVER SAYS, pulling my newly purchased wool coat up to my ears. “It’s cold outside tonight.”
“Where are we going?”
He smiles. “It’s a surprise.” He kisses my nose. “But you’ll like it.”
“Okay, I’m game.”
We head outside and pop inside a cab. I’m so thankful we’re not walking. This California girl still needs to adjust to a real winter.
I look outside as we ride, smiling as I take in all the pretty Christmas lights.
“What’re you smiling about, baby?”
“I was just thinking about how magical this city feels during the holidays. I’m happy I get to experience it.”
Oliver squeezes my hand, but says nothing. When the cab stops, I gasp in surprise and turn to look at Oliver.
“Ooh.”
“Ice skating in Rockefeller Plaza,” he says.
“A fantasy date come true.”
“No more fantasies. Now everything we want is reality.”
I nod, grinning from ear to ear.
We climb out of the cab and rent our ice skates. “I’ve never done this before,” I confess.
“Neither have I. Well, not since I was a kid.”
We hold hands, tentatively walking out on the ice. Oliver holds me close as we skate slowly. The rink is packed with people so we just stay in our little square under the enormous tree. I look up at it and smile.
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