“Of course not, and I would never do that to him again.”
“I hope not, because even the kindest of people can only take so much. Sometimes people will react in ways you never thought possible. It’s called temporary insanity.”
Alicia shook her head. Her father was so dramatic, and he would say just about anything to get his point across.
“I’m not doing anything wrong,” she said. “Everything’s fine.”
Curtis paused a few seconds, and she knew he didn’t believe her. “I just don’t wanna see you ruin things for you and Phillip, so if you don’t love him you need to tell him.”
“Daddy, please. I do love him. You know that.”
Curtis sighed. “I’m going to let you focus on the highway, but I hope you hear what I’m saying. Oh, and just so you know, it was after I saw D.C. that I decided what Bible study would be about on Wednesday night. I know from personal experience that temptation is nothing to play with, and that the devil really does have more tricks than you can imagine. I did a lot of wrong in the past, and a ton of people were hurt in the process. So, baby girl, I’m begging you not to go down that road. Leave well enough alone while you still have a chance. Stay away from that man, and be prayerful.”
Alicia had wondered about her father’s chosen topic, and her suspicions had been correct.
Curtis continued. “This is the kind of thing you have to pray your way out of, which is the reason I made sure to focus on Matthew twenty-six, forty-one. You can love Phillip and tell yourself you don’t want to be with Levi, but because the flesh is weak, you won’t be able to control yourself. Temptation will consume you, and it’ll have you doing all kinds of terrible things you shouldn’t.”
“Everything is fine, Daddy. I mean that.”
“I’m going to keep you in my prayers.”
Alicia heard her phone beeping and saw a blocked number display across the screen on her dashboard. Her stomach stirred with angst, as there was no doubt it was Levi. She wouldn’t dare tell her father she had to hang up because of another call, but thankfully, he told her he had a meeting to get to.
“You take care of yourself,” he said.
“I will, and I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you, too.”
Alicia pressed the Accept button on the screen. “Hello?”
“Finally,” Levi said. “Why didn’t you call me back?”
“I was at the hospital pretty late, and I spent the night in Mitchell.”
“What about now?”
“I’m headed home.”
“Are you stopping by here first?”
“No. I have a lot of work to do, and there’s something else you should know, too. My father knows you’re out, and he thinks we’ve been seeing each other.”
“We have.”
“That’s not funny, Levi.”
“And I’m not laughing. I’m just being real, and anyway, who told him I was home? D.C.?”
“Yep.”
“Well, it’s not like D.C. knows anything, because I would never tell him about us.”
“I know you wouldn’t, but my dad still knows. I could tell by the way he was talking.”
“Why don’t you just tell your dad the truth and get it out of the way? I’ve always had the utmost respect for him, especially after he decided the church could no longer accept my financial contributions because of where it came from. That’s when I knew he was working really hard to do the right thing. He never treated me like a drug dealer, though, and now that I’ve changed for the better, I think he would be proud.”
“My dad will never be okay with you and me being together. He loves Phillip like a son, and he blames both of us for hurting him.”
“It might take some time, but once your dad sees how happy we are, he’ll be fine.”
“No, he won’t. He’ll never hate you, because he doesn’t hate anyone, but he will never give us his blessing.”
“Let’s just say he doesn’t. To me that shouldn’t mean a thing, because this is about us. Our happiness is the only thing that should matter.”
“I wish it were that easy, but it’s not. This is so much more complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
Alicia’s phone beeped again, and this time it was Phillip. “Hey, I have to go.”
“Why?”
“I have another call.”
“Who is it?”
“I have to go. I’ll talk to you later,” she said, pressing the button and answering her other line. “Hey.”
“Hey, baby. You almost home?”
“Yep, not far to go at all.”
“Good. I just wanted to make sure you got there safely. I miss you already, and I’m glad you stayed.”
“I am, too.”
“Did you pick up something to eat?”
“No, I’m just gonna fix a salad and get to work.”
“Well, happy reading, and I’ll see you this afternoon. I love you, baby.”
“I love you, too. Have a good day.”
Alicia turned into her subdivision, pressed the garage door opener, and drove inside. She turned the car off and leaned her head against the headrest. Her emotions were in an uproar, and she couldn’t stop thinking about her father’s words. She also knew he’d been right about everything he’d said, so she got out of her vehicle, went into her condo, and dropped down on her knees in front of the sofa. She locked her hands together and closed her eyes.
“Dear Lord, I come before You, begging you to forgive me for all my sins. Lord, I know I have been wrong when it comes to all the things I’ve done with Levi, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m in love with him, and I’m to the point where I think about him all the time. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to feel that way, and I don’t want to sleep with him or see him ever again. So I’m asking You, Lord, to please remove all carnal feelings I have for him. I’m asking You to let me not just love Phillip but be in love with him. Lord, I also ask that You would please encourage Levi to move on so he can find someone else to love more than he loves me. Someone he can spend the rest of his life with. That way, I can marry Phillip the way I’m supposed to, and I won’t have to worry about Levi trying to contact me. I ask You, Lord, for these and all other blessings in Your Son Jesus’s name, Amen.”
Alicia opened her eyes. Tears streamed down her face, but she knew she’d made the right decision. Not only for herself but for Phillip and everyone who cared about them. The two of them would get married, and God would take care of the rest. He just had to…and Alicia trusted and believed He would.
Three Months Later
Chapter 26
Today marked the one-month anniversary of Alicia and Phillip’s second wedding. They were finally man and wife again, and while Alicia had prayed things would get better—that she would fall hopelessly in love with Phillip and forget about Levi—she was still struggling with a mixture of feelings. Even now, as she lay in bed making love with Phillip bright and early on a Thursday morning, she couldn’t stop thinking about Levi and how much better he’d made her feel. To her, intimacy with Phillip was nothing more than repetitive sex, and she had to mentally prepare whenever he wanted her. It also took every ounce of pretending she could muster until he finished. To be fair, it wasn’t that Phillip was awful in bed, because he wasn’t. It was just that she didn’t love him the way a wife should love her husband. She also knew that prayer could and would change things, but she purposely no longer prayed about any of what she was experiencing. She’d stopped praying because, deep down, she didn’t want to love Phillip any more than she did, and God forgive her, she didn’t want to forget about Levi. She no longer wanted Levi to find another woman to fall in love with, either. She wanted him to keep loving her, and it was all she could do to not run to him as fast as she could.
It had been three months since the last time she’d seen him, and though it had been the hardest thing for her to do, she hadn’t responded to a single one
of his text messages, phone calls, emails, or Facebook communications. There had been times when his loving words had affected her so much that she’d reread them over and over and cried like a child. Then, about a week before the wedding, he’d begun pleading with her to end things with Phillip before it was too late. He’d begged her not to make the mistake of a lifetime, but she hadn’t listened. She’d continued on with her plans, because it had been the right thing to do—for Phillip—and she had to live with it. She’d sort of hoped that when Phillip had learned Levi was out of jail he might question whether they should still get married, but interestingly enough, he hadn’t seemed to worry about Levi at all.
Phillip lay on his back out of breath, and Alicia could tell he was satisfied and happy out of his mind. She, on the other hand, was relieved it hadn’t taken him as long as it usually did.
“I could make love to you every day of the week,” he said, turning toward her and caressing her hair.
Alicia played along, turning and facing him on her side, acting as though she couldn’t agree more. “It was a long time coming, and I feel the same way.”
“Going without was tough, but now we finally get to make up for lost time.”
“That we do,” she said, forcing a smile.
“Next to God, you’re my everything. You’re my wife, my best friend, my heart. I couldn’t love you more if I tried.”
“I love you, too, baby.”
Phillip leaned closer, kissing her, and Alicia hoped he wasn’t planning for round two, because she wasn’t in the mood for it. Thankfully, he pulled away.
“Well, as much as I hate to get up, I really need to get dressed so I can head over to the church. Your dad asked me to deliver the message for the eight o’clock service on Sunday, and I need to finish writing my sermon. That way, we’ll be able to spend the entire weekend together.”
“Good.”
“I was thinking we could maybe drive over to Chicago tomorrow to spend the night at the Peninsula.”
“Really? Why?”
“Well, it is our one-month anniversary.”
Alicia loved the Peninsula, and while they’d flown to the Caribbean the Monday after their wedding for their honeymoon, they’d decided to stay in Chicago on their wedding night and also that Sunday. But she wasn’t in the mood for spending time there this weekend. “I was just hoping we’d be able to enjoy some time at home together. Is that okay?”
“Of course. It was just an idea, but you know I’m fine wherever we are as long as we’re together.”
“Maybe we can go next month,” she said, trying to sound excited.
“It’ll be a lot colder in October, but it’s not like we’ll be out all that much, anyway,” he said, winking at her.
“Knowing you, I’m sure we won’t.”
Phillip kissed her again and sat up on the side of the bed. “So, what do you have up for today?”
“Not a lot. I need to answer some of the email from my readers, but that’s about it. I might see what Melanie’s doing for lunch. The last three times I invited her, she took a rain check.”
“She looks like she’s lost a lot more weight. I was shocked when I saw her at church last Sunday, and Brad is at his wit’s end.”
“I don’t know what else to do, because every time I even hint around about her weight, she gets mad.”
“All we can do is keep praying for her.”
“I guess so.”
After Phillip got dressed, Alicia fixed him breakfast and he left for the church. Alicia sat in her office in front of her computer, glancing at their wedding photo. The ceremony had been absolutely beautiful and just as flawless as Alicia had envisioned. Melanie and Brad had served as their matron of honor and best man, and Alicia’s father had performed the ceremony. It had been a joyous, happy day, but it hadn’t taken more than a few hours before reality had set in for Alicia. They’d made love that evening, and she hadn’t felt any chemistry or passion.
Alicia signed into the email account her readers used to contact her and saw thirty new messages. She read the first few, smiling the whole time. She had the absolute best readers, and no matter what was going on in her life, their kind words and comments made her day. It felt good knowing that she’d written something that wasn’t just entertaining, but also helpful to her readers in one way or another. They could relate to the stories and the characters, and Alicia always prayed for that.
She responded to every single email and then signed on to Facebook. There were a good number of responses listed under the status update she’d posted yesterday about her upcoming novel, so she thanked those readers, too, and answered their questions. She also saw that she had Facebook messages and opened those. There were only four of them, but her nerves sort of got the best of her when she saw one from Levi. He hadn’t sent her anything since last week, and she couldn’t deny that she’d missed hearing from him. She hesitated before clicking on his message but finally gave in.
Hi Beautiful,
I pray all is well with you. I’d actually made up my mind last week not to contact you again, but the truth of the matter is, I miss you too much to give up. Even with you going through with the wedding and not responding to any of my messages, I still know in my heart that I’m the man you want to be with. I’m the man you love…the man you will love until death. At first I didn’t understand how you could deny yourself from being happy, but to some degree, I do get why you thought you had no choice but to honor your commitment to your husband. You’ve always talked about how much you owe him, and I finally had to realize that if the tables were turned, I would maybe feel the same way. Still, none of this changes the love you and I have for each other. What you and I have is one of a kind, and no matter how many months, days, and weeks have passed, I can’t move on without you. I’ve tried…unwillingly and involuntarily…but I’ve still tried…and it’s not working. A part of me knows that continuing to pursue a married woman is wrong, but how does a man walk away from a woman he connected with so perfectly and contently? How does anyone go on without his or her soul mate? For a long time, I didn’t want to believe that so many people got married for reasons other than being in love, but now I know it actually happens. And the reasons are infinite. Convenience, children, financial status, comfort, familiarity, general companionship, and the list goes on. But how awful it must be for any human being to wake every morning and go to bed each night with someone they don’t love. Or maybe if they do love and care about them, they don’t share any passion for their spouse. They don’t know what it’s like to not want to live without that person. Anyway, I guess I’m sort of going on and on, but I also wanted you to know exactly how I’m feeling right now. Yes, you’re married, and yes, I’m wrong for still trying to convince you to leave your husband, but it’s like I’ve told you before. We all only have one soul mate, and sweetheart, you’re mine. I’m also yours, and nothing will ever change that. So what I’m hoping is that one day soon, you’ll realize that the only way you will ever be free, the only way you’ll ever genuinely be happy, is by telling your husband the truth.
I’ll let you go now, sweetheart, but know that I am here and that I will always love you.
Levi
Alicia was devastated and warmly touched all at the same time. Tears flooded her face nonstop. She was speechless, yet in awe of every word Levi had written. Why hadn’t she simply had the courage to be honest with Phillip? Why had she given up on a lifetime of happiness just to be miserable? How could she go on living a lie? The biggest lie of the century.
Chapter 27
Melanie stepped on the scale, waiting for the numbers to register. When they did, she nearly jumped for joy. Not only had she lost the ten pounds she’d been struggling with for years, she’d lost twenty. She was officially a size six, and for the first time in her life, she weighed only 145 pounds. She was beyond proud of herself, and though it had been a long time coming, she couldn’t have been happier.
She turned toward the mirr
or in the bathroom, admiring her body. All the flab and bulges were gone, and she no longer minded seeing herself naked. She was finally making great progress, and once she lost just another five pounds, she’d be good. Sixes would be loose on her, and she’d be able to fit some fours if the clothing included a certain amount of spandex. Not to mention, her mother and others would never have to feel ashamed of her. As it was, Gladys hadn’t made any snide remarks about Melanie’s weight in more than a month, so Melanie knew she was pleased with the way she looked. Her mother had been pushing her to get back into her eights, but Melanie had done better.
If only her marital life could be just as fulfilling, she’d have everything. But sadly, things had never been worse between her and Brad. He’d taken on yet another daunting case, and he’d lost another twenty thousand dollars in the stock market. He was completely out of control, and she wasn’t sure how much more of his recklessness she could take.
Melanie slipped on her robe and walked down the hallway to their bedroom. Brad buttoned up his shirt and cast his eyes at her through the mirror—something he seemed to do more and more, now that they weren’t on the best of terms.
“So you don’t have anything to say?” he said.
Melanie was taking a vacation day, so she got in bed and turned on the television. She didn’t even bother looking at Brad, and she couldn’t wait for him to leave.
He turned and stared at her. “So I guess you didn’t hear me?”
“Nope,” she finally said.
“All because I lost some money that has nothing to do with you.”
Melanie flipped through channels, ignoring him.
“You really have a lot of nerve,” he said, wrapping a red tie around his shirt collar. “You’re practically killing yourself, yet you’re judging me like you’re some saint.”
If Melanie could have thrown something at him and gotten away with it, she would have. But she flipped through more channels, pretending she heard nothing.
The Ultimate Betrayal Page 13