No. I’m not seeing this. I don’t believe I’m seeing this.
These are the pearls that were his eyes.
Sickly green light spilling up through the keyboard and over the words like radium.
Ding! Bang!
My beer is Rheingold the dry beer
The line appeared in the space of a second, it seemed. The keys were a hammering blur of speed. It was like watching a news ticker.
Think of Rheingold whenever you buy beer!
Dear God, is she really doing this? Or is it a trick?
With his mind tottering again in the face of this new wonder, he found himself grasping eagerly for Sherlock Holmes—a trick, of course it was a trick, all a part of poor old Bobbi’s nervous breakdown ... her very creative nervous breakdown.
Ding! Bang! The carriage shot back.
No trick, Gard.
The carriage returned, and the hammering keys typed this before his wide, staring eyes.
You were right the first time. I’m doing it from the kitchen. The gadget behind the typewriter is thought-sensitive, the way a photoelectric cell is light-sensitive. This thing seems to pick up my thoughts clearly up to a distance of five miles. If I’m further away than that, things start to get garbled. Beyond ten or so, it doesn’t work at all.
Ding! Bang! The big silver lever to the left of the carriage worked itself twice, cranking the paper—which now held three perfectly typed messages—up a few lines. Then it resumed.
So you see I didn’t have to be sitting at the typewriter to work on my novel-look, ma, no hands! This poor old Underwood ran like a bastard for those two or three days, Gard, and all the time it was running I was in the woods, working around the place, or down cellar. But as I say, mostly I was sleeping. It’s funny ... even if someone could have convinced me such a gadget existed, I wouldn’t have believed it would work for me, because I’ve always been lousy at dictating. I have to write my own letters, I always said, because I have to see the words on paper. It was impossible for me to imagine how someone could dictate a whole novel into a tape recorder, for instance, although some writers apparently do just that. But this isn’t like dictating, Gard—it’s like a direct tap into the subconscious, more like dreaming than writing ... but what comes out is unlike dreams, which are often surreal and disconnected. This really isn’t a typewriter at all anymore. It’s a dream machine. One that dreams rationally. There’s something cosmically funny about them giving it to me, so I could write The Buffalo Soldiers. You’re right, it really is the best thing I’ve ever written, but it’s still your basic oat opera. It’s like inventing a perpetual-motion machine so your little kid won’t pester you anymore about changing the batteries in his toy car! But can you imagine what the results might have been if F. Scott Fitzgerald had had one of these gadgets? Or Hemingway? Faulkner? Salinger?
After each question mark the typewriter fell momentarily silent and then burst out with another name. After Salinger’s, it stopped completely. Gardener had read the material as it came out, but in a mechanical, almost uncomprehending way. His eyes went back to the beginning of the passage. I was thinking that it was a trick, that she might have hoked the typewriter up somehow to write those two little snatches of verse. And it wrote—
It had written: No trick, Gard.
He thought suddenly: Can you read my mind, Bobbi?
Ding! Bang! The carriage returned suddenly, making him jump and almost cry out.
Yes. But only a little.
What did we do on the fourth of July the year I quit teaching?
Drove up to Derry. You said you knew a guy who’d sell us some cherry bombs. He sold us the cherry bombs but they were all duds. You were pretty drunk. You wanted to go back and knock his block off. I couldn’t talk you out of it, so we went back, and damned if his house wasn’t on fire. He had a lot of real stuff in the basement, and he’d dropped a cigarette butt into a box of it. You saw the fire and the fire-trucks and got laughing so hard you fell down in the street.
That feeling of unreality had never been as strong as it was now. He fought it, keeping it at arm’s length while his eyes searched through the previous passage for something else. After a second or two he found it: There’s something almost cosmically funny about them giving it to me, you know ...
And earlier Bobbi had said: The batteries kept falling over and they were wild, just wild ...
His cheeks felt hotly flushed, as if with fever, but his forehead felt as cold as an icepack—even the steady pulse of pain from above his left eye seemed cold ... shallow stabs hitting with metronomelike regularity.
Looking at the typewriter, which was filled with that somehow ghastly green light, Gardener thought: Bobbi, who are “they”?
Ding! Bang!
The keys rattled off a burst, letters forming words, the words forming a child’s couplet:
Late last night and the night before
Tommyknockers, Tommyknockers, knocking at the door.
Jim Gardener screamed.
7
At last his hands stopped shaking—enough so he could get the hot coffee to his mouth without slopping it all over himself, thus finishing the morning’s lunatic festivities with a few more burns.
Anderson kept watching him from the other side of the kitchen table with concerned eyes. She kept a bottle of very good brandy in the darkest depths of the pantry, far away from the “alcoholic staples,” and she had offered to spike Gard’s coffee with a wallop of it. He had declined, not just with regret but with real pain. He needed that brandy—it woulld dull the ache in his head, maybe kill it entirely. More important, it would bring his mind back into focus. It would get rid of that I-just-sailed-off-the-edge-of-the-world feeling.
Only problem was, he’d finally gotten to “that” point, hadn’t he? Correct. The point where it wouldn’t stop with a single wallop of brandy in his coffee. There had been entirely too much input since he had opened the hatch at the bottom of Bobbi’s water heater and then gone upstairs for a belt of whiskey. It had been safe then; now the air was the unsteady sort that spawned tornadoes.
So: no more drinks. Not so much as an Irish sweetener in his coffee until he understood what was happening here. Including what was happening to Bobbi. That, most of all.
“I’m sorry that last bit happened,” Anderson said, “but I’m not sure I could have stopped it. I told you it was a dream machine; it’s also a ‘subconscious machine.’ I’m really not getting much of your thoughts at all, Gard—I’ve tried this with other people, and in most cases it’s as easy as sinking your thumb into fresh dough. You can core all the way down to what I guess you’d call the id ... although it’s awful down there, full of the most monstrous ... you can’t even call them ideas ... images, I guess you’d say. Simple as a child’s scrawl, but they’re alive. Like those fish they find down deep in the ocean, the ones that explode if you bring them up.” Bobbi suddenly shuddered. “They’re alive,” she repeated.
For a second there was no sound but the birds singing outside.
“Anyway, all I get from you is surface stuff, and most of that is all broken up and garbled. If you were like anyone else, I’d know what’s been going on with you, and why you look so crappy—”
“Thanks, Bobbi. I knew there was a reason I keep coming here, and since it’s not the cooking, it must be the flattery.” He grinned, but it was a nervous grin, and he lit another cigarette.
“As it is,” Bobbi went on as if he hadn’t spoken, “I can make some educated guesses on the basis of what’s happened to you before, but you’d have to tell me the details ... I couldn’t snoop even if I wanted to. I’m not sure I could get it clear even if you shoved it all up to the front of your mind and put out a Welcome mat. But when you asked who ‘they’ were, that little rhyme about the Tommyknockers came up like a big bubble. And it ran itself off on the typewriter.”
“All right,” Gardener said, although it wasn’t all right ... nothing was all right. “But who are they besides the
Tommyknockers? Are they pixies? Leprechauns? Grem—”
“I asked you to look around because I wanted you to get an idea of how big all of this is,” Anderson said. “How far-reaching the implications could be.”
“I realize that, all right,” Gardener said, and a smile ghosted around the corners of his mouth. “A few more far-reaching implications and I’ll be ready for a straitwaistcoat.”
“Your Tommyknockers came from space,” Anderson said, “as I think you must have deduced by now.”
Gardener supposed the thought had done more than cross his mind—but his mouth was dry, his hands frozen around the coffee cup.
“Are they around?” he asked, and his voice seemed to come from far, far away. He was suddenly afraid to turn around, afraid he might see some gnarled thing with three eyes and a horn where its mouth should have been come waltzing out of the pantry, something that belonged only on a movie screen, maybe in a Star Wars epic.
“I think they—the actual physical they—have been dead for a long time,” Anderson said calmly. “They probably died long before men existed on earth. But then ... Caruso’s dead, but he’s still singing on a hell of a lot of records, isn’t he?”
“Bobbi,” Gardener said, “tell me what happened. I want you to begin at the beginning and end by saying, ‘Then you came up the road just in time to grab me when I passed out.’ Can you do that?”
“Not entirely,” she said, and grinned. “But I’ll do my best.”
8
Anderson talked for a long time. When she finished, it was past noon. Gard sat across the kitchen table, smoking, excusing himself only once to go into the bathroom, where he took three more aspirin.
Anderson began with her stumble, told of coming back and digging out more of the ship—enough to realize she had found something utterly unique—and then going back a third time. She did not tell Gardener about Chuck the Woodchuck, who had been dead but not flyblown; nor about Peter’s shrinking cataract; nor about the visit to Etheridge, the vet. She passed over those things smoothly, saying only that when she came back from her first whole day of work on the thing, she had found Peter dead on the front porch.
“It was as if he’d gone to sleep,” Anderson said, and there was a note of schmaltz in her voice so unlike the Bobbi he knew that Gardener looked up sharply ... and then looked down at his hands quickly. Anderson was crying a little.
After a few moments Gardener asked: “What then?”
“Then you came up the road just in time to grab me when I passed out,” Anderson said, smiling.
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Peter died on the twenty-eighth of June,” Anderson said. She had never had much practice as a liar, but thought this one came out sounding smooth and natural. “That’s the last day I remember clearly and sequentially. Until you showed up last night, that is.” She smiled openly and guilelessly at Gardener, but this was also a lie—her clear, sequential, unjumbled memories ended the day before, on June 27th, with her standing above that titantic thing buried in the earth, gripping the handle of the shovel. They ended with her whispering, “Everything’s fine,” and then beginning to dig. There was more to the tale, all right, all kinds of more, but she couldn’t remember it sequentially and what she could remember would have to be edited ... carefully edited. For instance, she couldn’t really tell Gard about Peter. Not yet. They had told her she couldn’t, but on that one she didn’t need any telling.
They had also told her Jim Gardener would have to be watched very, very closely. Not for long, of course—soon Gard would be
(part of us)
on the team. Yes. And it would be great to have him on the team, because if there was anyone in the world Anderson loved, it was Jim Gardener.
Bobbi, who are “they”?
The Tommyknockers. That word, which had risen out of the queer opaqueness in Gard’s mind like a silvery bubble, was as good a name as any, wasn’t it? Sure. Better than some.
“So what now?” Gardener asked, lighting her last cigarette. He looked both dazed and wary. “I’m not saying I can swallow all this ...” He laughed a bit wildly. “Or maybe it’s just that my throat’s not big enough for it all to go down at once.”
“I understand,” Anderson said. “I think the main reason I remember so little about the last week or so is that it’s all so ... weird. It’s like having your mind strapped to a rocket-sled. ”
She didn’t like lying to Gard; it made her uneasy. But all the lying would be done soon enough. Gard would be ... would be ...
Well ... persuaded.
When he saw the ship. When he felt the ship.
“No matter how much I do or don’t believe, I’m forced to believe most of it, I guess.”
“ ‘When you remove the impossible, whatever remains is the truth, no matter how improbable.’ ”
“You got that too, did you?”
“The shape of it. I might not have even known what it was if I hadn’t heard you say it once or twice.”
Gardener nodded. “Well, I guess it fits the situation we have here. If I don’t believe the evidence of my senses, I have to believe I’m crazy. Although God knows there are enough people in the world who would be more than happy to testify that’s just what I am.”
“You’re not crazy, Gard,” Anderson said quietly, and put her hand over his. He turned his own over and squeezed it.
“Well ... you know, a man who shot his wife ... there are people who’d say that’s pretty persuasive evidence of insanity. You know?”
“Gard, that was eight years ago.”
“Sure. And that guy I elbowed in the tit, that was eight days ago. I also chased a guy down Arberg’s hall and across his dining room, with an umbrella, did I tell you that? My behavior over the last five years has been increasingly self-destructive—”
“Hi, folks, and welcome once more to the National Self-Pity Hour!” Bobbi Anderson chirruped brightly. “Tonight’s guest is—”
“I was going to kill myself yesterday morning,” Gardener said quietly. “If I hadn’t gotten the idea—really strong idea—that you were in trouble, I’d be fishfood now.”
Anderson looked at him closely. Her hand slowly tightened down on his until it was hurting. “You mean it, don’t you? Christ!”
“Sure. You want to know how bad it’s gotten? It seemed like the sanest thing I could do under the circumstances.”
“Come off it.”
“I’m serious. Then this idea came. The idea you were in trouble. So I put it off long enough to call you. But you weren’t here.”
“I was probably in the woods,” Anderson said. “And you came running.” She lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed it gently. “If this whole crazy business doesn’t mean anything else, at least it means you’re still alive, you asshole.”
“As always, I’m impressed by the almost Gallic range of your compliments, Bobbi.”
“If you ever do do it, I’ll see it’s written on your tombstone, Gard. ASSHOLE in letters carved deep enough so they won’t wear off for at least a century.”
“Well, thanks,” Gardener said, “but you won’t have to worry about it for a while. Because I still got it.”
“What?”
“That feeling that you’re in trouble.”
She tried to look away, tried to take her hand away.
“Look at me, Bobbi, goddammit.”
At last, reluctantly, she did, her lower lip slightly pushed out in that stubborn expression he knew so well—but didn’t she also look just the tiniest bit uneasy? He thought so.
“All of this seems so wonderful—house-power from D-cells, books that write themselves, God knows what else—so why should I feel that you’re in trouble?”
“I don’t know,” she said softly, and got up to do the dishes.
9
“Of course I worked until I damn near dropped, that’s one thing,” Anderson said. Her back was to him now, and he had a feeling she liked it that way fi
ne. Dishes rattled in hot, soapy water. “And I didn’t just say ‘Aliens from space, ho-hum, cheap clean electric power and mental telepathy, big deal,’ you know. My mailman’s cheating on his wife, I know about it—I don’t want to know about it, hell, I’m no snoop, but it was just there, Gard, right there in the front of his head. Not seeing it would be like not seeing a neon sign a hundred feet high. Christ, I’ve been rocking and reeling.”
“I see,” he said, and thought: She’s not telling the truth, at least not all of it, and I don’t think she even knows it. “The question remains: what do we do now?”
“I don’t know.” She glanced around, saw Gardener’s raised eyebrows, and said, “Did you think I was going to give you the answer in a neat little essay, five hundred words or less? I can’t. I’ve got some ideas, but that’s all. Maybe not even very good ones. I suppose the first thing is to take you out so you can
(be persuaded)
have a look at it. Afterward ... well ...”
Gardener looked at her for a long time. Bobbi did not drop her eyes this time; they were open and guileless. But things were wrong here, off-note and off-key. Things like that note of fake schmaltz in Bobbi’s voice when she spoke of Peter. Maybe the tears had been real, but that tone ... it had been all wrong.
“All right. Let’s go take a look at your ship in the earth.”
“But let’s have lunch first,” Anderson said placidly.
“You’re hungry again?”
“Sure. Aren’t you?”
“Christ, no!”
“Then I’ll eat for both of us,” Anderson said, and she did.
10.
GARDENER DECIDES
1
“Good God.” Gardener sat down heavily on a fresh stump. It felt like a case of sit down or fall down. Like being punched hard in the stomach. No; it was stranger and more radical than that. It was more like someone had slammed the hose of an industrial vacuum cleaner into his mouth and turned it on, sucking all the wind out of his lungs in a second’s time. “Good God,” he repeated in a tiny breathless voice. It seemed to be all of which he was capable.
Stephen King Page 20