Over and over again, I practiced the same throw until I felt I had mastered it. My arm was growing tired, but I didn’t stop. This was the first time I had truly enjoyed myself in a while. It was the same rush my runs provided, or the thrill I had felt in the truck while Zale drove. All of it was an exciting reminder of the dangers in the world I used to belong to and it was intoxicating. But this was even more of an addiction. Movement was a means of coping with the pent up energy, but throwing the knife was a way to take away the fear. For just a moment, I could focus on the target and pretend it was my enemy. I could use what little strength I had to fight against the merman who had taken away the man I loved, and for once, I was able to do something about it. I was able to fight back.
Hours later, as my arm grew tired, Zale spoke and startled me. He hadn’t said anything since showing me how to throw.
“We should probably head back to your house.”
I made an annoyed face but then really looked around and saw it was getting late, well past mid-day.
“Don’t you have work?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, and wished I didn’t.
My stomach grumbled slightly and I realized how hungry I was, we had stayed out here right through lunch. I felt bad, wondering if he was hungry too.
I threw the dagger one more time and it sliced into the wood perfectly. Zale strode forward to pull the knife from the log and handed it to me.
“Thanks,” I said and slid the sheath back on it. Standing to the side, I watched Zale tip the log over so the wood with all the marks was in the sand, while I put my dagger back under my shirt.
“You need to find a better place to put that. You’d be dead before you ever had the chance to pull it out,” he said straightening back up.
“I do have to act human sometimes,” I countered. “Where else can I keep it?”
With a sigh, he reached under the sleeve of his jacket and pulled out an arm sheath. He pulled the knife out from the worn leather and handed the empty wrist band to me. “Here,” he said and I saw he would say no more about it while we walked in silence. My fingers played with the leather all the way back along the small path and when I strapped it around my wrist to slide the weapon in place, I had the sudden feeling of at once being protected and more open for attack than ever before.
_______________
Later that night, having a distracted mind worked in my favor during my shift. I served, took orders, and refilled drinks with a new lightness in my step. Although my thoughts were miles away, I was moving faster than I had since my return and in response, so did the time. All the while, I couldn’t stop thinking about the beach and wanted to practice throwing my knife again. It was fun, and addicting, but more than anything it gave me a sense of security.
We were just finishing up at Darrow’s Catch. The restaurant was closed and the dishes were washed and back in their places; a pressing urgency of almost being finished with work hung in the air. I shrugged into my coat while my cousins did the same. I had the next few days off and was happy at the prospect.
“Lissie, do you want to catch a ride with me and Joey?” Laura’s voice broke into my thoughts.
“What?” I asked, taken off guard.
“The movie, you know the one we planned to go to like two weeks ago.” She said and raised her eyebrows.
“Oh right,” I blinked quickly. How was I forgetting so much these days? “No, I’ll meet you guys there. But thanks.” I had forgotten the plan to meet on Saturday night at the movies. Due to Zale being in town, Dad had given me a break from work, but I knew it was more for Jillian’s benefit than my own. He wanted to keep the warrior out of the house as much as possible and I was willing to help out as much as I could.
Laura nodded and linked arms with Jessie as they made plans for the weekend, it sounded as though there would be a double date before the movie. Our jobs done, Chelsea and Hannah filed out behind them and I followed flicking off the lights as I went. The girls shouted their goodbyes as I locked the door, and I called back saying I would see them Saturday night.
As soon as they disappeared, a sigh escaped my lips and a little, nervous bubble crept into my stomach as I looked beneath the trees. I knew Zale was standing out there, waiting silently in the shadows. He’d told me he would wait for me right here. I walked over to the trees and sure enough out of nowhere, he became visible. We didn’t greet each other but just accepted one another’s company as we turned and walked to my house.
“You have plans?” He asked, his voice flat.
“Yes,” I said, wondering why he would care. I glanced at him and saw he was deep in thought. “Is that a problem? Because I promised them and you have no idea how angry Laura gets when someone backs out on her. She’d probably kill me, but then again, what’s another threat to my life.” I smiled at my little joke.
Zale, however, didn’t smile. Instead he continued to walk, his eyes fiercely starring into the dark night. A sudden longing filled my heart as I thought of the man who used to control that body and mind. It was so difficult to wrap my head around, but I knew that if Patrick were here, which he was but he just didn’t remember, he would be laughing right along with me. He would be cautious in the darkness, but he would never pass up a chance to smile or tease me.
The memories of him pounded my mind and I felt the lightness inside me begin to dissipate as the familiar crushing weight of guilt pressed on my shoulders. The thought that I was never going to hear his laugh again made me want to cry but I couldn’t, not right now. I sniffed softly and hoped Zale hadn’t heard.
“I’ll have to go with you,” he said casually.
“What do you mean?” I asked, surprised.
“I’ll have to take you to the movie.”
“Why? I can take care of myself.” My voice was sharper than I meant it to be.
“Because it’s dangerous,” he said shortly, sounding annoyed.
“Well, you’re not coming into the movie with me. I can’t just introduce you to my friends.” I was glaring at him now, my anger evident, and I saw he was wondering how he had upset me. I knew why I was mad at him, he was supposed to smile different, talk different, walk different. But he wasn’t doing any of those things.
“Just don’t go to the movie,” he suggested.
“No, I’m going to the movie,” I rebutted, not sure why I was being so stubborn about this; we were going to see some dumb romantic comedy I didn’t even care about anyway.
“No you’re not,” he said and from the corner of my eye I saw his shoulders stiffen.
“Yes,” I said, “There’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
He gave a short laugh, “You have no idea what I could do to you.”
“You wouldn’t,” I said and again I wondered why I was arguing him on this point. There was anger inside of me, roaring like a fire and I fed it hungrily.
During work, my memories of this warrior had softened and I was able to mingle them with the man he used to be, but to come back to this begrudging warrior felt as though he had slapped me across the face.
I stopped walking and waited until he looked at me. “I’m going whether you like it or not.” The cloud from my breath drifted away, but I kept my eyes locked on his. For a moment I saw the anger reign in his eyes, but after a moment it passed.
“Fine,” he agreed. I bristled, wanting him to fight back; needing something to push my anger on to.
“I’ll take you there and bring you back,” he continued, his lip curling into a sneer. “You’d better hope none of Bolrock’s men are waiting for you. You’ll be dead before I can help you.”
“Bolrock?” I asked quickly, and he flinched. I got the feeling he’d said too much “What does he have to do with this?”
Zale’s jaw tightened and he gazed around, his eyes darting here and there. His alert awareness put me on edge. I wondered if there really was something out there right now.
“Tell me,” I pleaded and his eyes clouded for a moment unti
l he shook his head.
“Later,” was all he said and turned up the path to my house. I wanted to force him to tell me right then, but the seriousness in his voice made the small bubble of fear grow larger.
The house came into view and Zale headed straight toward it, I followed and we entered its warm embrace. I turned to lock the door, but saw Zale had already completed the task. None of the lights were on in the house. Every creak and groan from the pipes and the floors was accentuated in the stillness.
“Was something out there?” I whispered, unable to take the silence any longer.
“No,” he said and shrugged out of his coat. “Someone.”
I swallowed heavily and gazed out one of the kitchen windows. All I could see was my own reflection, pale and ghostly in contrast to the darkness outside.
“Will they come here?” I asked, my earlier anger had evaporated; replaced entirely by fear.
“No,” he said again, “not while I’m with you.”
I found little comfort in his words and tried to still the shaking of my hands by putting them in my pockets. The ticking of the clock in the kitchen set my nerves on edge. I counted in my mind. Twenty-two, twenty-three…fifty-eight, fifty-nine…one hundred seventy-five, one hundred seventy-six…
“You can go to bed.” I jumped when he spoke and bumped into one of the chairs in the kitchen. He turned his head in my direction, a hint of a smile passed over his lips. “There’s no reason for both of us to be awake.”
I nodded, but didn’t say anything. I didn’t move either. My mind was falling back into counting the beats of the clock when I felt a hand touch my arm. I startled again.
“Go to sleep,” he commanded and gave me a little shove toward the stairs. My feet responded and led me up the creaking wooden boards. As I made my way to the top, I couldn’t help the shiver of anxiety that tickled my spine. If Bolrock and Zale were both Morven’s men, which one was doing his bidding? And which was acting under their own will?
Looking down, I saw the long shadow of the warrior stretched across the living room floor. His arms were folded over his chest and he faced the window where the muscular body formed a perfect silhouette.
My eyes rested on his familiar hair, and traced the broad shoulders I used to touch. Although they were broader and larger than they used to be, I knew them all the same. His arms, those were more muscular too, but the way he held them was the same. It was all him, and not him, at the same time. In the darkness, I could see his chest rise and fall when he inhaled and exhaled and I felt my own breath sink into the same rhythm. Together we drew breath in the darkness and I was drawn to him in a way I had not felt for a long time. It was as though my heart was awakening in the darkness, but I knew it wouldn’t get what it was searching for. It was looking for what it once had, but that no longer existed.
As if an answer to my thoughts, the blades of the warrior sprung suddenly into existence and flashed in the half-hidden moon light.
13. Connection
The next two hours consisted of non-existent sleep. No matter what I tired I couldn’t get my mind to relax. I tossed and turned until my covers were tangled around my legs, but the fear that had filled me when Zale had said someone was outside wouldn’t leave.
In the past, he had mentioned he stopped some Hyven from coming, but that had been after the fact. It was all the more real when I knew of it in the present. I thought of the blades that had come out of his arms as he stood menacingly watching the window. Involuntarily, shivers covered my body.
The silence in my room was heavy and yet I felt unprotected in the darkness. I realized now, when I wasn’t in the same room as him, my fear was stronger. Somehow his presence made me feel safe even though it should frighten me as much as if Morven was here.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I hopped out of bed and headed for my door. I needed to know everything was safe, but it was also more than that. I wanted to know what he meant about Bolrock. He’d said he would tell me later, well now it was later. If sleep was going to continue to elude me, I might as well get some answers.
As silently as possible, I crept across the hall toward the stairs and looked over the railing. His silhouette at the window had disappeared and I steadied my stomach by pressing my hand against my belly. My feet paced carefully down the stairs, avoiding the places where the wood creaked.
Searching in the darkness, my well-adjusted eyes found a large form on the couch. I waited patiently and saw the soft rise and fall of the body. I knew he could already see me, but he didn’t make a sound. Crossing the soft carpet, I reached the couch and looked down at his still form. I could just make out the glow of his hair, turned silver in the pale light of the night.
Just then the clouds parted and the light from the moon shone brighter into the room. Shadows stretched against the walls and the form of the warrior came into light. I felt my jaw drop open as my eyes searched his face.
He was asleep; the silent restraint he always carried had evaporated and in its wake left a sense of stilled power. His mouth was slightly open, eyes shut, and for once his jaw was relaxed. His face wasn’t peaceful, but at least removed of its usual concentration and seriousness. It was as though he was stilled, the strength and skill held secure beneath the calm of the moment. The light blue sheet was pulled up to his chin and his large body engulfed the whole couch where his bare feet stuck out at the far end and made him look almost childish.
It was in that moment, I couldn’t take my eyes away from him. I had never seen him like this. He was always alert and on edge, but this was entirely different. He was lost in a world of his own; his lips twitching with whatever was in his mind. I felt pressure behind my eyes as I looked at him, knowing this was the closest I’d seen him look like Patrick. The softness in his face was not what it used to be, but the stern concentration had vanished in the peacefulness of his sleep. He was closer to being himself than he could ever imagine.
With a sigh, I left him where he was and made my way to the kitchen. I yawned and grabbed the box of hot chocolate packets out of the pantry. Once my coco was done, I sat down at the kitchen table facing the window that was above the sink. I knew sleep was going to remain distant for the rest of the night. And even if I did fall asleep, I knew what awaited me. I could almost hear the crashing of the waves and Patrick trying to call out for me. Suppressing the image, I sipped my hot chocolate and watched the dark clouds shift near the moon.
“Lissie?”
I jumped and spilled scorching hot coco on my hand and the table. “Ow!” I gasped and ran to the sink to cool off my burning skin. I sighed when the water ran over it.
Glancing over my shoulder at Zale, my eyes widened. He was standing in the dim glow of the moonlight shirtless and the sight was enough to make my throat go dry at once. His broad shoulders looked larger without anything covering them and his chest rose with each breath. Slowly, my eyes traveled down his chest to the chiseled abs and I swallowed hard.
He looked different standing there, slightly unsure of himself. His eyes were groggy and I tried not to look at how low the waistband of his pants rested on his hips. As he moved forward, my eyes honed in on a dark shimmer along his left hip. It was a cut, identical to the one I wore on my right.
“Sorry,” he said and rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t even hear you come down.” He looked ashamed that he had let something like that slip past him.
“That’s okay,” I said giving him a small smile as I turned the water off, even though my skin was still smarting. “I was the one to wake you up anyway.”
I picked up the red wash cloth and went to wipe up the brown puddle of coco on the table. I could feel his eyes watching as I finished the job and threw the rest of the drink down the sink. When I turned around, my eyes met his and a little smirk pulled at the side of his mouth. He was very aware I found him attractive and I blushed. Everything in me tried to push down the feelings building inside my body, and I tried to remember he wasn’t who I thought, but
everything went cloudy. The depth of the warm brown in his eyes drew me in and although they were different, I found myself recalling how they used to look. I swallowed hard and resisted the urge to smile.
My fingers fidgeted and I crossed my arms trying to still the motion. When I looked back up he was still focused on me and I swallowed hard, unsure of what to say.
Slowly, I latched onto why I had come downstairs in the first place and tried to use that to my advantage. Anything to keep him from looking at me that way.
“Can you tell me about Bolrock?” I asked, and though his eyes dimmed, they lingered for a moment on my face before he turned away. I thought I caught a hint of disappointment in them, but couldn’t be sure.
“In here,” was all he said and as I watched him turn around to go back into the living room, I froze where I stood.
Across his back were the markings of his past. Pale pink scars and rivets sliced in crisscrossed lines over the muscles that moved beneath the skin. Images of the beatings he had endured rushed into my mind. Even though I had known he was beaten and tortured, I had tried to keep the mental images away. That night in the dungeon of Hyvar, I had smelled the blood and sweat, I had seen his arm, heard the weakness in his voice, but had refused to let the reality of what was happening fill my mind. It was as though my conscious couldn’t contend with the torture that had taken place. I’d been unable to understand or grasp the brutality, but here before me was the proof of what had remained hidden. In places, there were divots in his skin, crevices where the whip had hit too many times to heal. My gut twisted and I felt what little food was in my stomach flip over as my face paled, yet I couldn’t take my eyes away from it.
It was then that I noticed a particular gash, near the top of his shoulder. It was dark and shimmered in the moonlight, stretching from the top of his shoulder across his back to his right arm and I realized I had seen it before. It was the cut Nerissa had given Patrick hundreds of years ago. Before it had been pale and gray, but I knew why it shimmered now.
Ripples (DROPLETS Trilogy Book 2) Page 13