Say Hello to the Broken-Hearted

by Dervan Brown

  “Eh-em,” John cleared his throat, “Wake up sweetie, breakfast is ready.”

  The words ‘breakfast is ready’ got her attention. Karla was already awake. She just felt like absorbing with closed eyes the silent serenade of the dreamed reality of waking up in her own queen size bed under cotton spreads to the uprising rays of the sun and the soft tranquility that fresh air brings to a new beginning.

  She sat upright, cushioned her back against the wooden frame, “Aww…baby, you didn’t have to.” She graced as she cleared her eyes to greet the disaster in disguise.

  “Come on enjoy- Anything for my fiancée and the mother of my child.” He replied in handing the tray to her lap.

  “So what about you?” She asked, “Aren’t you eating?” Perhaps he knew it was distasteful. It’s really bad when one can’t stomach their own cooking.

  “Nahh- I am not hungry. Besides I don’t usually eat this early. Don’t worry about me, enjoy.” That was delivered sincerely.

  She took a minor bite of the sandwich, chewed it, swallowed, and then ended the horror movie with cold milk.

  “Wow! It’s delicious babe.” She complimented with a kiss to his cheek. Every lie is more persuasive with a kiss.

  “Great, I am glad you liked it. If you continue to be a good girl, I might keep this up for the rest of the pregnancy.”

  “I would love that very much.” She replied and the dirty lies started to manifest.

  “Hey Baby, I am going to take a walk. I want to see what the neighborhood is like. I have to familiarize myself with the people. You know I might just meet someone who can help me out with a job.”

  “Ok, I would come with you, but I feel a bit fatigue.”

  “That’s fine, get all the rest you need…See you in a little while.”

  “Be safe baby.”

  “I will…”

  As if the breakfast wasn’t distasteful enough, the insincerity had left a bitter taste in her mouth. She didn’t have to lie, but she did it anyway. The thought of being dishonest to John perturbed her deeply.

  “Has John ever been dishonest to me? Is this the start of a relationship riddled with lies and blatant hypocrisy? How will he react when he finds out that I was raped and there is a high possibility that I will lose the baby? Those questions pink-panged in her mind and for the first time she felt unsure about what she was getting into. A cold wind of insecurity creped through her veins.

  John exited the apartment complex and strolled east on the sidewalk of Deerock Avenue. He wore a white V-neck T-shirt, a straight blue jean and pullover timberland boots. Outside the gates of the complex portrayed different sceneries. It had the appearance of a clustered community, half being a semi-residential suburb and the rest rejected projects. He remembered seeing guys hanging out at the store at the intersection of this street and Goshen Road and that’s where he headed with the intension of meeting someone who was nice enough to assist him in finding a job.

  By the looks of things, there isn’t much to do here. Finding a suitable job would be a depressive predicament. However, he was cognizant well that even a customer clerk vacancy that paid minimum wage would go a far way in savaging money for the impending expenses. Life had its uncertainties, it was never an easy road.

  Migrating to a new country in pursuit of a better life had its challenges, especially with a depending expectant mother. But who knows? John Steelburg was as wise as they came. He had a heart of gold and an endearing love that could steam his motivation to overcome the tallest mountain of obstacles.

  As he approached the store with the overhead neon sign that bared the logo “Corner Groceries” John saw a man about five seven who wore dark shades under a Congal hat. His shirt and pants would have fit well if he was sixty pounds heavier and three inches taller. John’s first instinct was right. He was a drug selling thug.

  “Yow bro! You looking for something? I have everything you need right here.” The man behind the shades quickly approached John and offered.

  Apparently walking straight into the store without making eye contact was a stupid idea. He was pretty much caught off guard by his shady approach. Now to continue walking would be an insult. An insult that could cost him his life. A jittering fear staunched his stomach line.

  “No, I am good, I am new here, just need something in the store.” John’s effort to be abrupt was futile. Getting rid of him wouldn’t be a walk in the park.

  “Yeah, you are new here?” He pursued, “How long have you been here?”

  “Since last night.” John promptly replied.

  “Oh ok, so I guess you haven’t a clue what it’s like here huh?”

  “Nahh not at all, that’s what I am doing right now, trying to familiarize myself.” The conversation commenced and John was a bit more relaxed.

  “Yeah its best you do that, get to know a few people, you are safer that way.”

  Suddenly he didn’t seem as dangerous as first thought.

  How many cold blooded killers would offer advice such as that? In addition, behind the shades, as much as John could suffice along with the texture of his tone, he was no more than twenty-five years. Maybe the same age as John.

  “Yeah that’s what I thought. Thanks for the advice.” John replied.

  “No problem…The name is Xavier, people around here call me Ice.”

  “John managed a smile and greeted him with a gripping colloquial handshake, “My name is John, you can call me Sir.” John joked and they laughed.

  “So where are you from sir?” Xavier asked.

  “I am from Jamaica, born and bred.”

  “That’s cool, where in Jamaica, Kingston?”

  “Nahh, I am a country boy.” The laughter continued. He may in fact be a thug but he didn’t seem like a terrible person overall.

  “So where in the neighborhood are you staying?” Xavier asked.

  “You know it’s right up this street, over by the Golden Oak Apartment complex. Actually it’s me and my fiancée, she is expecting too.”

  “Yeah! congrats man.” Xavier added and patted his shoulder.

  “Yeah, we are here to make a fresh start, build a whole new life together, if you know what I mean.”

  “Hmm-Hmmm I know what you mean.” Xavier replied. Although his facial expression could not be read, there was a distinct sorrow in his voice.

  “You have any kids of your own?” John went out and asked.

  “Yes sir, I have two myself.” He subtly replied, “Hey, I don’t mean to upset you or anything but… My older son got shot by a stray bullet earlier this year. Straight to his cranium. He died instantly. It happened at the playground of the complex where you are living right now. Little Nick meant the world to me.”

  “Oh God, I am sorry to hear that.” John sympathized.

  “Yeah, life carries on though,” Xavier added, “But that community is gated for a reason. All I can say is, be careful, we wouldn’t want a repeat of what happened to my son.”

  “I appreciate that, duly noted.” John replied and scratched his hair. It seems as if he bought a cat in a bag. Now he found himself in a troubled community with his pregnant fiancée. “How could Calvin do such a thing…I don’t believe he would. Maybe it’s not as bad as how he made it out to be.”

  “So John what do you plan to do for work around here? As you can see it’s not much.”

  “To be honest I am at a crossroad as it concerns to that. I was thinking of applying for vacancies in the cooperate city and see where that goes, until then I’ll take any gig that comes along.”

  “You know the job market is down, it’s going to be ruff finding a job but I wish you sincere luck.” Xavier encouraged.

  “Yeah, I need all the luck I can get.” John affixed.

  “Listen bro, you seem to be a sensible guy, you see me standing here, and there is almost no question as to what I am doing. If you ever need to get in, you can find me right here at this spot, alright?”

  “To be honest Xavier, I have no
intention of going down that road. I have a family to take care of, if you know what I mean.” John refused.

  “Hey I am just looking out.”

  “I know.” John replied and closed the conversation, “Hey I have to get back to the house, Karla probably needs me. So I’ll see you around.”

  “Sure, as I said you know where to find me.”

  Who said it would be easy? No one knows what the future holds, life is just a journey. Carry on…

  Chapter 23

  It was the fourth day in the third week of September and the situation hasn’t improved. In fact, the two grew desperate each day as the remainder of the savings continued to drain into household expenditures. John had the hardest luck. As nightly prayers on his knees by the bedside, didn’t help in providing him a job.

  “Yeah John! Just drop the theatrical. Move on already. Make love your religion, why don’t you? You believe in it so bad, you place nothing above it. It gave you wings and here you are in another country, far away from the place you used to call home. Jesus! Don’t stop now! Give it all you’ve got. Get back down on your knees and pray to the love you’ve got and hold stead-fast faith that you make it through the storm. There is no other way. Your back is up against the wall, and you know the race is not for the swift but for those who can endure it. Well don’t go under, keep your head above the water, and if love is all you’ve got, just believe that it’s all you need to carry you through.

  The fifth day of the third week in September. Midday.

  “Hey John! Where are you?” Karla called for her fiancé.

  “I am on the doorsteps hun.” John replied.

  “Hey sweetie, there is someone on the phone for you. She acknowledged that she was a representative from the Lime communications company in the Trin-City region.”

  “What do they want?” He asked, and she shrugged in response.

  “Hello this is John.” He answered.

  “Hello there John. My name is Mrs. Cynthia Crawford, recruiting officer for Lime. You recently applied for the vacancy of customer service manager within our company, is that correct?”

  “Yes- yes, mam.” John replied with careful manners.

  “Great! Well I would like for you to come in for an interview on Monday, at ten Am. Is that suitable for you?”

  “Yes mam, most definitely, I’ll be there.” John replied with a rather joyful tone.

  “Ok good, please remember to bring all your personal documents and qualifications. See you on Monday. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

  “Thank you and I wish the said sentiments to you…” John finished.

  A brilliant smile illuminated his face. Instantly Karla realized what had unfolded and she as well could not hold back the gushes.

  “It’s been a long time coming baby!” Karla assured and hugged him, “I want you to know that I haven’t given up on you John, I haven’t stopped believing in us.”

  John hugged her tightly and caressed her upper back, “I know baby--I know. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would do…Apparently there is power in love after all.”

  The second day of the fourth week in September.

  It was ten thirty Am and John had just arrived at the entrance of the Lime cooperate building. There wasn’t time to review his notes, straighten his collar or even wipe the sweat from his face.

  “Showing up late for an interview is never a good sign” He thought.

  John approached the woman behind the front desk that paraded in excessive cream colored makeup but forgot to touch up her discolored neck.

  “Hello, good morning, I am John Steelburg. I have a ten o’clock interview here. Can you please assist me?” John politely opened.

  “You are late.” The make-up disaster faced woman replied sharply.

  “That’s obvious, so what then?” John frankly responded. He was very much determined to give her the bitter end of his tongue if she persisted with the ugly temperaments.

  She raised her eyebrows and folded her arms. She was ready to show her rotten colors.

  “Look I do not have time for this.” John raised his voice and candidly warned her.

  “Take a number from the slot, go down the aisle, turn right, have a seat and wait for them to call you.”

  John took a number as instructed and surprisingly to him it read, twenty-two.

  “Excuse me, how many people are here for this job?’ John asked.

  “Are you stupid or something?” The ogre feistily replied, “What does the number say, how on earth did you get shortlisted?”

  “John stared at her with insurmountable distaste. He swallowed the profanity that was edging his tongue, but he couldn’t refrain himself from having the last word.

  “If I get this job, I am going to be a fixed pain in your ass, literally.” John full-bloodedly added, “And by the way, lose the lip gloss, it’s not popping.”

  John walked the aisle and on arriving in the waiting area he became quite taken aback that there were so many people waiting to be interviewed.

  “Turn around John. Don’t waste your time. They are all Trinidadians, you don’t stand a chance.” The voice in his head discouraged.

  “Excuse me sir, what position are you here for?” John asked the baby boomer in tailored jacket suit and tie.

  “I am here for the customer service management vacancy…and you?”

  “The same.” John replied as he took a seat beside him and swallowed his saliva. The competition was dead heat. “What are the odds?” He wondered as he shook his head. The hopelessness was chronic in his eyes.

  “So you have any experience in this area?” The baby boomer opened.

  “I did freelance customer service for a few weeks. That’s about it.” John replied.

  “I supervised an insurance company customer service department for nine years. I got laid off when they decided to relocate.”

  “Who the hell asked? Let’s keep this on a need to know basis.” John wanted to say, but avoided another possible altercation, “I am sorry…” He ushered instead.

  “Nahh, that’s ok. I am on to better things.”

  “No really, I am sorry. Now I might not get this job because of you.”

  John’s unfriendly disposition was very much unwarranted. However, it did an excellent job of distracting the baby boomer to his cell phone for the remainder of the wait.

  Two and half hours had passed and they had only reached number fourteen. The frustration grew thick, only patience bared virtue.

  After another thirty minutes, number fourteen came out of the interview quarters with a sour face and watery eyes. She straighten her blouse, pulled her hair back, raised her chin and managed to fake a smile but only an oblivious mug couldn’t tell that she was flatly rejected.

  “So much for excessive sparkly fandangle. It’s a job interview not a contest for store manikin.” John said that out loud, the baby boomer heard, cornered his eyes at him but refrain a comment.

  “Number fifteen! Number fifteen you are next in five minutes.” The interviewer came out an announced. John suddenly recognized the voice. “By the way, a note to all others. Make sure you are professionally attired when you come into my office, that’s all I will say for now.”

  John lifted his head from between his legs only to be greeted by his worst karma. The makeup disaster was the interviewer.

  John quickly stood to his feet and approached her in a bid to plea. As he knew well from the earlier precedence he didn’t stand a chance.

  “Hi, excuse me,” He remembered his manners this time around, “I don’t mean to be rude, and I know we have gotten off on the wrong foot earlier. For that I am sorry, I sincerely am.”

  With raised eyebrows, she pierced at him as she stood with an akimbo. “Oh really now! What an idiot, you can forget it!” Her body language spoke.

  “…But I have a fiancée, she is four months pregnant and home alone as we speak. So I am begging you, could you please see me in early, please…”


  “Look, let me be honest with you just to save you some time. You have already failed the interview. That little occurrence earlier at the front desk was a test of your character skills. You demonstrated poorly.”

  “P-L-E-A-S-E, I am begging here.”

  “I am sorry, I cannot help you.” She frankly replied without an ounce of sympathy, “In addition, if I should hire you, I would fire you within a week.” She shook her head at him in due insolence. “Besides, you are barely qualified for this job. All these people you see here have a bachelor’s degree in the respective field and at least two years of experience. I have seen your resume and frankly speaking-It’s not popping.”

  John swallowed that well. No water was needed to smooth the peristalsis.

  He was utterly speechless. He managed a smirk, turned away and left for home to digest the ordeal.

  John arrived at the steps of his apartment. He was hesitant to go inside. Afraid the disappointment would be too much for Karla to handle. He threw his folder to the ground and rested his feet on the second step.

  A few minutes had passed after which Karla looked through the window to find him sitting there with his face buried in the marble tile.

  She opened the door and rested her head against the doorpost. Her perspicacity read well the reasons for his sadden demeanor.

  “What happened John?” She asked anyway.

  “I didn’t get the job…I failed the interview baby.” He replied from the side of his mouth.

  “You want to talk about it?”

  “What’s there to talk about…I didn’t get the job and it sucks!” The hard harsh feelings echoed in his voice, such disappointment.

  “I feel Pres-S-U-R-E-D,” He stressed, “As far as I can see, I am hopeless. Karla I feel like I am becoming a different person, for the worst. All that has been happening recently have had a bearing on me; you being pregnant and the attention you need. The expenses that come with that, the household bills, applying for fifty jobs, too few call backs, only three interviews and no fucking job.” John cursed, for the first time in a long while he felt restless, “I think all of this might just be a little bit too much for me right now.”