Carefully, she pulled away from Ethan until his hand dropped away and confusion now marred his features. “I don’t know if I can, Ethan,” she said honestly. “You really hurt me. All of my worst fears about my family? You proved them all true to me. You didn’t believe in me, and what was worse, you sided with them over me.” She straightened in her seat and did her best to steady her racing heart and say what she had to say.
“I need time, Ethan. Time to figure out what I want to do with my life.” She looked around Zach’s office. “I don’t think I want to be here. I don’t want to be in a place where I know I’ll constantly have to prove myself over and over and over again. It’s exhausting.”
“You won’t!” he cried, panic lacing his voice. “You’ve done it, Summer. Ten times over you’ve done it. No one is going to doubt you ever again.”
She smiled sadly at him as they both stood. “Zach has a long recovery ahead of him. And this is his company. He never wanted me here, and no matter what he may think right now, I don’t want to interfere. The two of you have worked so well together and made this office a success.”
“But so have you, Summer. You did more in one day than we’ve sometimes done in months.”
“Thank you for saying so,” she said shyly. “But…I don’t think this is where I belong. It’s not where I’m meant to be.”
He reached out and grasped her hands in his and refused to let go even when she tried to pull away. “It is where you’re meant to be,” he said anxiously. “With me. Here. There’s a reason you were sent here, Summer. It was our time. It was for us. Don’t go. Please.”
Tears began to well in her eyes. “I don’t regret this time together, Ethan. How could I? It was everything I ever wanted.”
“Then don’t go. It doesn’t have to end. Tell me what I have to do to make this right. What can I say to convince you not to leave?” His heart was breaking. He never thought she’d actually turn him down this quickly. He thought he might really have to persuade her, but he didn’t imagine things going quite like this. He was drowning and he couldn’t seem to stay afloat.
“This isn’t about you,” Summer said. “It’s about me. I’m finally seeing what I’m capable of, and I’m tired of living in the shadows of my brothers.”
“You can still do that here, Summer. You don’t have to stay with the company; you can still live here and figure out what you want.” He pulled her close, until they were toe-to-toe. “Don’t leave me,” he begged quietly.
She wanted to lean into him, to feel his strong arms around her and have him tell her everything was going to be all right. Unfortunately, she also knew it was just going to be that much more difficult down the road when she still needed the time to figure out what she wanted to do with her life.
Did she still want Ethan?
Yes, more than her next breath.
Could she continue to live here in Portland?
Absolutely.
So why was she leaving?
Because he was a distraction. A sexy one, but a distraction nonetheless. Her family had sent her to Portland to give her a chance to find out what she wanted to do with her life. Well, she had experienced a lot, but she was no closer to finding the answer. Portland was Zach’s home; he’d lived there for years and he loved it. Summer had lived up and down the East Coast, but no matter where she went, North Carolina was her home. It was where she always went back to.
And there was her answer.
Doing her best to step back, she gently pried her hands from Ethan’s. “I think I’m going to head back east.”
“To stay with your parents?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No. I think it’s time I found a place of my own there. I love my family and I love spending time with them, but they’ll never stop looking at me as the baby of the family if I keep acting like one.”
“You don’t. I think you managed to change everyone’s way of thinking today. No one thinks that, Summer.”
“Up until about forty-five minutes ago, they did.”
She’s really going to do this, Ethan thought. She was really going to leave. He wanted to beg, he wanted to get down on his knees and grovel and then take her home with him, but as he looked into her eyes, he knew. This was important to her. For far too long, people had been dictating her life and she was ready to take a stand. How could he deny her that opportunity?
“When will you leave?” His voice cracked on the last word.
She took a steadying breath. “I’ll need to wrap up a few things here with my condo and make arrangements to get my things moved. Say good-bye to friends.” The look in Ethan’s eyes was killing her. “A week, tops.”
“I wish there was something I could say to change your mind, Summer.”
“I really need to do this.”
“I know.” He had to leave. He needed to run before he made a fool out of himself. Unable to help himself, he reached out one last time and stroked a hand down her cheek and then placed a gentle kiss there. “Be happy,” he said softly before turning and leaving the room.
Summer waited until the door closed before collapsing down in her chair and crying.
Chapter 15
“This isn’t fair.”
“I know.”
“Are you sure you won’t change your mind?”
“I’m sure.”
Gabriella looked around the condo filled with boxes. They sat on the floor with a pizza and a bottle of wine between them. Summer held Maylene in her lap. They were both wearing tiaras. “It’s a good look for the both of you.”
Summer chuckled. “It makes us feel pretty, doesn’t it, baby?” she cooed to the pug, which, in turn, licked her face excitedly.
“What am I supposed to do around here without you? You were my only friend at Montgomerys.”
“That’s not true and you know it,” Summer admonished. “People are just intimidated by you because you’re a supermodel.”
She snorted with laughter at that one. “Right. If I’m such a damn supermodel, tell me why I haven’t had a date in like…forever.”
“You just haven’t found someone worthy of your awesomeness.” Summer leaned back against a box and took another sip of her wine. “You will and you’ll know when it’s right.” Summer had thought she’d known when it was right, but it was just an illusion. A temporary, heartbreaking illusion. She sighed and then gasped when Gabriella took the wineglass from her hand. “Hey!”
“We said no sad thoughts tonight, remember?” Gabriella said with mock sternness, and Summer nodded. “So tell me about your plans. The moving truck is coming in the morning and you’re flying home—via the family jet—tomorrow afternoon. Right?”
“Yup,” she said, forcing herself to sound cheery. “My sister-in-law Casey found me a cute little place near the beach to rent until my place is built.”
“I still can’t believe you worked it out so fast.”
“Hey, sometimes it helps to play the Montgomery card.”
“Still…it’s just not right.”
“Aidan Shaughnessy said he’d be more than happy to work with me on the project. I told him exactly what I wanted and where I wanted it, and he already had a piece of land in mind.”
“Convenient.”
Summer made a face at her. “He knows the area like the back of his hand. He’s doing the work on James and Selena’s place, and if I can get the plans nailed down quickly, he said he could probably find a way to work it into his schedule right afterward.”
“So what did you have to do to bribe him? Go on a date?”
Summer laughed. “I haven’t seen Aidan in years. He was always a super nice guy, but he was friends with James and older and…”
“So? Ethan is Zach’s friend and he’s even older,” she reminded.
“We said we weren’t going there tonight.”
&n
bsp; “Oh. Right. Sorry. Continue with your story of luck us mere mortals aren’t privy to.”
“Shut up,” she said and took her wineglass back. “Anyway, I doubt it will all work out as smoothly as we think, but just knowing the ball is in motion makes me feel a lot better.”
“You could have built a house here, you know.”
“Beach,” Summer reminded her. “I wanted a house on the Carolina coast.”
Gabriella rolled her eyes. “Picky, picky, picky. Nothing says you can’t make it a vacation home instead.”
Ignoring the suggestion, Summer shifted until she was sitting Indian style. “You can come visit, you know. My brother can’t force you to work nonstop without vacations. Just come and spend them with me.”
“Please, he’s probably already talked to payroll and human resources to dock my pay for the time I was in Alaska—even though a large portion of it was spent doing work for his stupid company.”
Summer couldn’t help but chuckle. “Sounds about right.”
“But seriously, once you get back home, are you going to start dating? Do you think this Aidan guy is a potential boyfriend? What does he look like?”
“Oh my God,” Summer said with exasperation. “I’m not looking to date anyone. I need to get my head together. Believe me, dating is the last thing on my mind.”
“Because you’re in love with Ethan.”
“Of course because I’m in love with Ethan!” Summer yelled back and then gasped. Maylene jumped from her arms, and one hand flew to her mouth.
“What?” Gabriella said. “What’s the matter?”
“I love him! I love Ethan!”
“Yeah, yeah, old news.”
“I didn’t tell him!”
“When?”
“The other day. In Zach’s office. He told me he loved me and I didn’t say it back!”
“So? What difference would it have made? You were still planning on leaving. Telling Ethan you love him wasn’t going to change that, was it?”
Summer’s eyes were wide. “No…but…”
Gabriella scooted over and put her arm around her. “Look, don’t torture yourself. You made your feelings for him very clear while you were involved. I’m sure he knows you love him. You just need some time.”
She rested her head on Gabriella’s shoulder. “Maybe.”
Refusing to look hopeful, Gabriella slowly raised her head. “What are you saying?”
“I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts. I cry myself to sleep every night and I wake up feeling horrible. If I’m doing the right thing, why does it feel so wrong?”
“If you figure out the answer to that one, let me know.”
“Oh, Gabs…what if…?”
Hope crossed Gabriella’s face. “What?”
Summer shook her head. “Nothing. It’s…it’s nothing.”
“Ugh. Let me ask you something. Are you really happy to be leaving?”
“I don’t know. I thought I was. I know it’s something that I wanted to do but…”
“But?”
“I thought he’d stop me,” she said sadly. “I didn’t think that he’d just go along with it and let me go. I thought Ethan would at least try to talk me out of it.”
“Maybe he’s just trying to give you what you asked for.”
“Maybe.”
Gabriella groaned again. “Okay, let me ask you another question.”
“Yes, you’re totally bringing me down here.”
“Ha, ha. But not the question. What do you want Ethan to do? I mean, what could he have possibly done differently?”
Summer thought about it for a minute. “Well…he could have showed up here and tried to stop me.”
“And that wouldn’t have pissed you off?”
“Oh, it would have. But it also would have shown me that he really cares.”
“Seriously? That’s what would show it? What’s wrong with you?”
“Or he could go all caveman on me and haul me over his shoulder and…and…keep me from leaving.”
“You’ve read too many sappy romance novels.”
“Nothing wrong with that. Who doesn’t want one of those alpha males carrying them off?”
“Um…a lot of people.” She made a tsking sound. “I never would have pegged you for going all girly over caveman tactics.”
“Well, there was this one time…”
“La-la-la-la-la-la!” Gabriella sang loudly, plugging her fingers in her ears. “I keep telling you that I do not need to hear about you and Ethan’s…escapades. Caveman or otherwise!”
Laughing, Summer held up her hands in defeat. “Fine. Don’t listen. All I’m saying is that I just wish he would have taken the decision out of my hands.”
“You can’t have your cake and eat it too, Summer. You said you were tired of people making your decisions for you, and now you’re saying that you want Ethan to make your decisions for you. Which is it?”
Before she could answer, Summer’s phone rang. With a sigh, she stood and went to answer it. “Zach!” she said with a smile. “I can’t believe you’re actually calling me. I didn’t think you were allowed to.”
“I’ve got multiple broken bones, Summer, but my fingers still work,” he said dryly.
“Ha, ha, very funny. I just thought it would be too hard for you to do anyway. How are you? How are you feeling?”
“Like I fell off a mountain,” he said and then paused. “Listen, I wanted to call sooner, but they’re so hell-bent on putting me through tests and scanners and whatnot that I haven’t had a minute to myself.”
“What are the doctors saying? What kinds of tests?” she asked, worry for him overwhelming her.
“I don’t want to talk about them right now, Summer. I’m calling to talk about you.”
“Me? What about me?”
“I heard about your meeting with Morrison.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah…oh. I can’t believe you did that.” He didn’t sound angry, but he didn’t sound pleased either.
“I tried telling you I could do it, but—”
“I know, I know…”
“Anyway, it all worked out, right?” she asked hopefully.
“Yes it did. Thank you.”
Summer pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at it as if she were hearing things. Her brother was actually thanking her? Maybe his head injury was worse than they thought. She needed a moment to compose herself.
“So…um…yeah, it did. Bob Davis is going to work with him until you’re back on your feet. I think he’s going to do a good job.”
“You would have done better, squirt,” he said, and Summer could hear the smile in his voice. “I really wish you’d reconsider and stay.”
That made her smile. “You say that now, but once you get back, you’d probably hate having me here.”
“I was hard on you, Summer, I know it. I don’t even know why. But when you could have let me down and lost a big client, you went to bat for me. I don’t deserve your kindness and I’m sorry for not being nicer to you before…well, you know.”
“We’re family, Zach. I never want to see you fail. Ever. Even when you’re being a jerk,” she teased.
“We could have worked well together. Now I see that you’re not a pushover, I could have groomed you to a top executive level. Like a mini-me.”
“Thanks, but I’m good.”
He was quiet for a long moment. “So what are you going to do now? I mean, once you get back home? Do you have a job lined up?”
“I don’t know. I talked to Casey, and her business partner is struggling with balancing their wedding planning schedule, and motherhood, and Casey is struggling with it too, so I think I’m going to meet with the two of them when I get back. See if maybe there’s a place for me with them.”<
br />
“Ah…so working for the family without actually working for the family. Nice.”
“It seemed like a good compromise.”
“I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t stay in Portland. I know that Ethan—”
“North Carolina was always my home,” she interrupted, unwilling to discuss her relationship with Ethan with her brother. “Portland is very nice, and I certainly wouldn’t mind coming back to visit, but I always imagined living back on the Carolina coast.”
“I know and I’m sure you’re going to be happy, but still, I’m going to miss you.”
His admission humbled her. “I’m going to miss you too. And as soon as you’re allowed to leave Alaska and come back here to recuperate, I promise to fly out and check on you. You’ll be so tired of seeing me that you’ll be glad I didn’t stay.”
“Never. I would never feel that way again, Summer. I was an idiot for not taking advantage of the time we had together—when it was just me and you. I don’t know how long it will be before everyone is done hovering over me and making me feel even more useless than I already do.”
“You’re not useless, Zach. You’ve had a serious accident. We’re all just so relieved you’re alive. You have to expect a certain amount of hovering.” She wanted to sound reassuring but the inner little sister continued, “You know as soon you give Mom the green light to come and stay, you’ll have to pry her off with a crowbar.”
He groaned. “Don’t remind me. I can’t believe she’s not here already.”
“Dad was pretty firm with her. He said it would be much more beneficial to you if she waited until you were home. That’s when you’re really going to need someone to hover.”
“Ugh.”
“She actually wanted to fly you back east to recuperate. Be thankful she didn’t get her way then.”
“You’re telling me.” Summer heard voices in the background and figured it was time for Zach to go. He got back on the line and confirmed it. “I’m off for another round of tests. Take care of yourself, Summer, and call me when you get home.”
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