Still, when he turned, his gaze meeting mine, and he smiled, my stomach threatened to empty itself. I swallowed the nausea, forced my back straight, and pasted on a mask.
“Adrienne.” He stepped in my path when I was close enough. “I was hoping to catch you without your dick of the week hanging around.”
“Move. I’m done with your shit.” My voice didn’t shake at all, and I had no idea how I pulled that off. How did we get here? A few weeks ago, he was my annoying ex, and now there was no better term for him that stalker.
He didn’t move.
Fine. I stepped around him, opened the trunk of my car, and put away the groceries. It killed me to keep my back to him, to not know if he’d left and not hear him speak. Voices and tires on pavement echoed strangely down here, and it was disorienting.
I finished putting my groceries away, closed the trunk, and turned. Sean stood right there, pinning me in place and sending my heart into my shoes. He wouldn’t see my fear. I wasn’t backing down.
“Back the fuck up,” I said as firmly as I could, “I’m sick of your bullshit, and I’m not doing this anymore.”
“God damn it, Adrienne.” His voice was a low growl. He slammed his hand into my trunk. The clang reverberated around us, ringing in my ears and amplifying the hammering of my pulse in my ears.
I shrank away in fear; I couldn’t help it.
“I’m sorry.” His voice softened and he took a step back. “You just... Sometimes you're so very unreasonable.”
“Are you all right?” A man stopped next to us, eyeing us both.
“No.” I needed to say more. The words froze in my throat.
“Yes.” Sean gave him a warm smile. “Couple’s disagreement, you know how it goes. How old is your baby?”
A bag of diapers sat on the bottom of the cart.
The man smiled softly. “Six months. Total angel.”
“I bet.” Sean had flipped a switch inside, and adopted angelic himself.
I was wrong to want to confront him myself. “Please help me. Call the police. Something,” I said.
Sean laughed and waved a hand dismissively in my direction. “She’s such a drama queen. You forget to pick up milk one time, and the world is ending, am I right?”
I knew this Sean. This was the man who convinced me for years that everything was my fault. Who made it so easy to doubt myself and the people around me.
The stranger laughed along with him, then looked at me. “Cut him a break. He’s trying.”
The stranger moved on, and so did everyone else who had slowed to watch the spectacle.
Fuck.
I rebuilt my courage from shattered fragments and clung to the pieces until I thought they might cut into my soul. “Leave me alone.” I was firm, despite how badly my hands shook. “I’m leaving, and you’re letting me. You’re not following me. Walk away now or I’ll scream.”
“All right, Love. Don’t get excited. I just wanted to work things out.” He held his hands up, as if surrendering, and stepped back. “I’ll give you some time to cool down.”
It was too easy—there was no way this was over. I climbed into my car, my hands shaking so badly I dropped the keys twice before fitting them into the ignition. I expected to look up and see Sean standing next to my window when I finally got the car started, but he was nowhere to be seen.
New apartment would wait. Graham’s house was closest, and I was going straight there. I navigated the underground lot, and hit the sharp slope leading up to the street. As I waited for an opening in traffic so I could turn, I checked my rear view mirror.
Sean was in the car immediately behind me.
Bile rose in my throat and I couldn’t swallow it down.
The street was too busy. I couldn’t put any distance between us, especially with him riding my ass as cars inched forward.
The freeway was only a couple miles away. That would give me more room to maneuver, and maybe put a few cars between us if I did a little aggressive driving. As we drew closer to the on-ramp, I found an opening in the cars, and stomped on the gas to grab the spot.
Sean must have had a similar idea, because suddenly his car was beside mine, amid the blare of horns and screeching tires. I glanced sideways at him, then back at the road. There was a lot of mountain here, and a distinct absence of guard rails. I hit the on-ramp faster than I should for the sharp turn. Despite the one-lane road, he was still there.
His car flew sideways into mine, jarring me with the screech of metal and tearing the steering wheel from my hands.
I struggled to regain control, but two of my tires had already left pavement and hit dirt.
He jerked into my car again, and my stomach and heart left my body as my car tumbled down the slope.
Twenty-Nine
Phillip
Maybe I should’ve followed Adrienne back to her new place, made sure she was settled.
Maybe I should call Dustin, see if he needed any help babysitting.
What the hell was wrong with me?
My phone rang, and I answered before it finished the first tone. “Yeah.”
“Hey.” It was Cole. “Adrienne’s been in an accident. I don’t know more. She’s at St. Mark’s.”
Not again.
I barely registered hanging up on him, grabbed my keys, and was in my car before the rest of my brain caught up with gaping hole in my chest. I didn’t know why Cole called me. I didn’t care. This couldn’t be happening again. Not to her. She couldn’t—
I cut the thought off as I pulled into the dwindling remnants of rush hour traffic. There were still too many cars. Too many stop lights between my house and the hospital. Every pause gave me longer to dwell on horror scenarios.
If Sean was behind this, and he wasn’t already in worse shape, he would be when I found him. Fresh fear salted old scars. I couldn’t lose someone again. I couldn’t lose Adrienne. She didn’t even know how I felt. Hell, I barely knew how I felt, beyond I couldn’t lose her.
As I drove, I sent a voice-to-text to Dustin, repeating Cole’s phone call. He deserved to know as much as I did. He’d want to know.
Fuck. Please let her be all right.
When I arrived at the hospital, I couldn’t get inside fast enough. I headed for the man standing near the doors that led to exam rooms. Though I’d never met him, I’d recognize him even if I hadn’t seen the pictures of him with Luna and Cole—his face was so much like Adrienne’s. “Graham.”
He looked up, stress lining his face. “Phillip?”
“Where is she? Is she all right?”
He nodded. “She’s answering questions for the police while the doctors finish looking at x-rays and deciding if they need other tests.”
Police. The notion added to my nausea. Sean was involved—I was almost certain of it. Why did I let her leave alone? But if she was answering questions, she was conscious and well enough to do so. I sank into the closest chair and dropped my head into my hands, exhaling noisily. What was most important for me to know? “What happened?”
“Car accident. I don’t have more details on that. Cole called you because you’ve been looking out for her.”
But not intently enough. I tried to calm myself with the knowledge that Adrienne would be all right. That she was all right. At the sound of the doors sliding open, my head whipped in that direction instinctively. Dustin walked in with his nieces.
He frowned when he met my gaze, but the scowl he’d worn since Friday, anytime I was around, wasn’t there. He joined us, and I introduced him to Graham and regurgitated the same information I had.
“So we wait,” Dustin said.
Graham shrugged. “Nothing else to do for it.”
I watched Dustin with Harmony and Alana, and the void inside me grew. The girls were talking quietly and playing some sort of game on their tablets. He didn’t interact with them much, but did answer the occasional question. He was so good with them. He’d be good with his own kids.
I was an idiot, surrendering a wonderfu
l thing because of fear. Knowing I could’ve lost Adrienne tonight, that I was willing to push away Dustin to avoid feeling… What the fuck was wrong with me?
“I’m sorry.” I spoke softly, not wanting to disturb the rest of the room.
Dustin looked up, brows raised.
“I’m sorry for keeping things from you,” I said.
His mouth twisted with his frown. “You’re still leaving, though.”
Was I? There was no reason to change that aspect of my plan. “This doesn’t mean the same thing to me. But I’m still sorry for the secret.”
Dustin nodded, and turned his attention to Harmony when she tugged his sleeve. “You’re supposed to forgive people when they’re sorry,” she whispered.
Dustin sighed. “Alana, watch your sister. I’m just going to be over there, but keep an eye on her.”
“Okay.” Alana pointed at Harmony’s screen and murmured something.
Dustin jerked his head toward a pair of vending machines, and I followed him. He leaned against a nearby wall, arms crossed over his chest and attention on his nieces. “You don’t have to go. We’re hiring new people.”
I have to. The retort lodged in my throat. I didn’t have to—my reason for leaving was diminished and Adrienne proved there was still work for me at AcesPlayed. But she was both a different case and part of the reason I couldn’t completely abandon the idea of walking away.
She was okay. Graham looked pretty sure of that. But even the brief time where I thought I’d lost her… The feeling hadn’t hit me so hard with Dustin yet because I could still see him. Even mad at me, he didn’t feel gone.
“We don’t have to lose touch, even if I leave,” I said.
“Lose touch,” Dustin scoffed. “You still don’t… It’s okay, I didn’t get it either.”
“It?”
He scrubbed his face. “It feels weird to have this conversation now, but a text like the one you sent me, the fact that we’re here, drives home that sometimes there’s not a tomorrow. We’re lucky this time there is.”
I knew that all too well.
“I’m still pissed that you lied to me,” Dustin said. “But I don’t want you gone from my life. AcesPlayed, this game, is something I’ve searched for my entire life and didn’t know it until I found it. And so are you.”
Words lodged in my throat. I needed air. I turned away and Dustin grabbed my arm. “You don’t get to do that tonight,” he said. “You’re going to hear me out.”
“I’m listening.”
“I’m tired of calling what you and I have friendship. I didn’t realize it before, and it’s as much my fault that it took so long as anyone’s. You and I… we’re more.”
The words should hurt to hear, but they sounded so good. Something was missing, though. “What about Adrienne?” He was so good with her. I was so happy with her. And with him. “You dropped everything for her.”
“So did you,” Dustin said. “She needs us. I need you. Here, with us. Yes, us. I want her too, but I have to start somewhere. I’m not going to miss the chance. And the instant she’s out here, I’m going to tell her something similar. Except, I’ve never said this before. Not in this context.”
I knew what was coming, even if I couldn’t articulate it, and it both terrified me and filled me with anticipation.
“Alana will be so heartbroken.” Dustin let out a shaky laugh. “I love you. I’d be devastated if I lost you.”
“I love you too.” I didn’t know which felt better, hearing the words or saying them. A huge weight lifted from my chest, and I felt like I could breathe, could think, more clearly than in ages.
I leaned in to brush my lips over his, the soft kiss hurting and healing at the same time. He pressed his mouth to mine, lingering before pulling away with a soft smile.
“Talk more later?” I asked.
“I’m holding you to that.”
I brushed a thumb over Dustin’s bottom lip, and moved so he could rejoin his nieces. I moved to face the room, and stayed where I was, watching the room. Watching Dustin as he went back to exchanging whispers with Alana and Harmony. I was an idiot. How did I ignore this for so long?
Was he right? Could I stay at AcesPlayed? Maybe we could create some sort of training position. I did that anyway, but it would be nice to make it official.
I’d worry about that later. For now, I needed to see Adrienne, get that confirmation she was okay and find out what happened. My thumbs hooked in my pockets, I drummed my fingers on my leg and tried not to stare too long at the clock on the far wall.
When the doors finally opened, and a nurse rolled Adrienne out in a wheelchair, I wanted to sprint across the room and pull Adrienne into a tight hug followed by a long kiss.
Given the bruises marring her face and the fact her arm was in a sling, I’d probably have to be more gentle than that. A glance at Dustin, and the ambivalence splayed on his face, he was probably dealing with similar thoughts.
The nurse looked at Graham. “You’re the brother?”
He nodded and joined them. He squeezed Adrienne’s good hand. “You’re all right?”
“Dislocated shoulder. Lots of bruises. A bit of mental trauma, but I’ll live,” Adrienne’s smile was weak and her voice tired.
Harmony ran up to Adrienne and stopped short. “Can I give you a hug? Does it hurt? I have Hello Kitty bandaids in my backpack. Do you need one?”
“I have enough bandaids for now, but I might need some later. You can hold my hand.” Adrienne reached out.
Harmony grasped her hand tightly.
“Your girl?” The nurse asked.
Adrienne shook her head and opened her mouth.
“Nieces,” Alana said.
I met Dustin’s gaze, and his raised eyebrows reflected mine. She was either pretending she didn’t see us kiss, or was far more understanding of the concept you can love more than one person than most adults. Either way, she was probably going to take over the world when she was old enough. Or next year.
“Well, I’ll let you tell them what happened and catch up.” The nurse patted Adrienne lightly on her good shoulder. “She’s got her prescriptions and our contact information. Call us or bring her back here if there are any complications, but she should be fine. Stay safe, hon.”
“Thank you.” Exhaustion radiated from Adrienne.
My impulse to take her away from all of this surged even stronger. I settled for asking, “What happened?”
Her laugh was strained. “For as many ways as I’ve told the police, I should ask them to give you a copy of their report.”
Dustin gently tugged Harmony away. “Go get that bandaid,” he said. “So Addie has it later.”
She nodded and ran to her backpack.
“Short version, Sean ran me off the road.”
At Adrienne’s words, I balled up my fists.
“Is he here? Can we see him?” Dustin asked before I could.
“He is, but you probably can’t,” Adrienne said. “He’s got a police guard. And a shattered femur. As soon as he can be moved, they’re extraditing him to Washington, where he has warrants for assault.” She dragged in a shaky breath.
I was simultaneously sick and furious at the implication. But she was all right and out of his reach. I wanted to take her away, hide her from the world, and pamper her. Keep her safe. Tell her how much I loved her.
Harmony ran up to Adrienne, several bandaids clutched in her fist. “Here you go. These will help.”
“Thank you.” Adrienne took the presents and tucked them into her purse. She looked at Graham, her face taut with stress. “Can I…?”
“Luna has the guest room ready, and she can grab some of your stuff for you. You can stay with us as long as you need.” Graham stepped behind her and grabbed the handles of her wheelchair. “Let’s get you out to the car if you’re ready.”
Adrienne glanced between Dustin and me. “I don’t know why you’re here, but it means a lot that you are. Between the trauma and the polic
e and the injuries and the painkillers, though… I need sleep. Catch up later?”
“Sure.” I stepped close enough to squeeze her fingers. “Get some rest.”
Dustin brushed his lips over her cheek. “We’re here.”
Graham rolled Adrienne out of the emergency room.
Dustin turned to me. “I have to put them to bed. And give them a multi-vitamin since I let them eat vending machine food for dinner. You’ll be in the office tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” And probably for a while. I wasn’t one-hundred percent positive yet, but I was pretty sure I was staying with the company for a while. I gave him a quick kiss, and it felt more natural than I’d ever expected. “We’ll catch up then.”
What a roller coaster of a night. Now that I had answers—resolution—adrenaline settled heavily inside. Dustin was right—about a lot of things, but one specifically—there was always a chance tomorrow wouldn’t get here.
Fear wasn’t going to keep me from experiencing today again.
Thirty
Adrienne
Maybe I was destined to live in guest rooms for the rest of my life.
The thought was more bleak than I wanted to feel. Or maybe I just didn’t want to feel right now. Not anything. Because some of the thoughts in my head were dark and some were cruel and hope was there too, though it was so very hard to grasp and it seemed like the last thing I should be focusing on.
I sat on the bed in the guest room in Graham’s house—technically I supposed it was Cole’s house, but they both lived here with Luna, so that was all semantics.
And was I really having a mental conversation with myself over house ownership?
It was better than the alternative—putting words to my more insistent and pervasive thoughts.
I was propped up by and surrounded by more pillows than a Bed, Bath, & Beyond, so I could make myself comfortable however I needed. I had pain pills for the shoulder. The thought of taking those was a little terrifying, because if they blanked my mind I might like it too much and if they didn’t…
I didn’t want to sleep with intense, drug-induced dreams.
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