We drive north a ways and through all the quaint little towns that make up the Outer Banks. There are tons of little shops and restaurants. I love where I live now, it’s the old feel of Virginia Beach, but these towns are homey. They have charm and scream beach living. Where my house is still has a lot of tourism. All of these towns thrive on the summer tourists, but they still keep their roots.
Liam enters the town limits of Corolla and I close my eyes and breathe in the salt air. The smell of sun and sand mixed with the sea. It’s home to me. We pull into the drive of one of the most breathtaking houses I’ve ever seen.
“Wow,” I say, looking up.
“It’s Quinn’s family’s house.”
I look over and Liam looks as surprised as I am. “Who knew?”
“No shit. Aara’s still sleeping. Do you want to grab her and I’ll get the bags?” Liam offers.
“Sure.” He goes to exit the car, but I put my hand on his arm stopping him. He looks over with his mouth slightly open.
“What’s wrong?”
I lean across the console practically into his lap. “Thank you,” I say and press my lips to his.
The second our lips connect, something shifts. Liam’s hands thread into my hair and he kisses me roughly. Our tongues move together and my body ignites. I’m euphoric in this moment as I give my appreciation to him. He holds my face to his and I feel his teeth nip at my lip.
There’s no way he’s sleeping on the couch.
Liam gently pulls my face back and kisses me tenderly. “You can thank me anytime you want.”
My laugh is short and my breathing is heavy. “I bet you’d like that.”
“Damn right I would.”
“Go get the bags. I’ll get the baby,” I instruct and climb back over to my side.
I get Aarabelle out of the car miraculously without waking her and look closely at the house. It’s a beautiful, blue, two-story house with white plantation shutters. The porch wraps around the left side and sits on stilts. Even though it’s old, you can tell it’s been well cared for. Through whatever storms it’s been dealt, it’s strong and stands proud. The front door is white and the sand dunes almost cover the wood stilts. I walk up the stairs and Liam’s behind me.
He unlocks the door and allows me the time to take it in. “It’s magnificent,” I say hushed, careful not to wake Aara. She’s napped for about an hour, but if she doesn’t wake on her own time, she’s a beast.
“Look around. I’m going to bring the bags up.”
I nod and start to explore. The kitchen has been recently updated and has beautiful black granite countertops with country white cabinets. I walk forward and the windows make me stop short. Beautiful, cream, satin fabric drapes across the glass and pools on the ground making the blue ocean look bluer. I know I have the view of the ocean at home, but it’s as if I’ve never seen this ocean before.
I hold Aarabelle who’s fast asleep in my arms and look out at the sea before us. I hear Liam come down the stairs and feel him behind me. His arms wrap around my torso and we both stand looking out.
“Beautiful,” he whispers.
“Yeah, it is.”
“I was talking about you.”
My heart is buoyant and his warmth cocoons me. I lean against his chest and cherish this moment. There’s so much I want to say, but this is enough right now. Being in his arms, away from all the shit at home, just spending time with Liam and Aarabelle. This is contentment.
“You ready?” Liam yells from downstairs. He’s had Aarabelle for the last hour while I’ve gotten ready for dinner. I assume she hasn’t peed or pooped since I haven’t heard massive amounts of cursing or Aarabelle screaming.
“Almost!”
I have a white eyelet dress on with my hair in a low twist. I spent extra time shaving every inch of my legs and making sure I didn’t miss anything. If we do end up where I hope we do, I want to be as perfect as possible.
Standing before the mirror, I look at myself and smile. This trip was everything I needed. I feel alive and refreshed. After we got settled into the house, we took a walk on the beach. Liam carried Aarabelle while I held on to his arm. Aara was giggly, especially when Liam started to run into the water with her. She would squeal and laugh, then he would run back out.
A part of my heart became his in that moment. I’m hoping tonight another part will be his as well.
“I’m going to eat baby food soon!” Liam’s loud voice carries through the halls.
Men.
I grab my bag and head down the stairs.
“I’m ready. Sheesh,” I chide as I enter the living room area.
Liam stands there with his khaki pants and navy blue shirt. The muscles in his arms tug at the fabric, stretching it so the shirt looks almost uncomfortable. His blue eyes are deeper than normal, but still mesmerizing. The scruff he usually has is clean-shaven and his beanie that I love so much is missing. He’s ridiculously sexy.
“I’m not going to make it through dinner,” Liam grumbles.
“What?”
“Can’t you wear sweatpants?” he asks, looking at my legs.
I scoff, “I’m not wearing sweatpants to dinner. I got dressed up, you’re going to have to learn to control yourself, Mister I’m-so-superior.”
Of course there’s a part of me that’s more than giddy that he seems to be having a hard time with my dress. I didn’t wear it to drive him crazy, but it’s a perk. I forgot what it was like to have a man’s sole attention be you. How it makes you feel when you’re desired. Liam awoke that inside me. He brought the woman in me back to life.
When I turn around, his breath hitches. The dress is a halter top, and the back drops to the small of my back.
“Fuck no,” Liam says and gently grips my arm. “Please tell me you have a sweater or a poncho for that dress.”
I turn slowly with a sly smile. “Nope. It’s warm out.”
“I’m gonna need a minute.” He lets out a deep breath and holds Aarbelle out for me to take.
I grab her and laugh, “Come on, Dreamboat. Let’s go eat before you lose your mind.”
We head over to a small seafood restaurant, which seems to be one of the only places in town. Liam had to stop for gas and we grabbed a town map. Tomorrow we plan to use the beach cruisers that we found in the house and check out the other local spots.
They seat us at a table by the windows with an ocean view. Aarabelle sits in the highchair between us.
“Mamamamama,” she says looking at Liam.
“I’m not your mama. I’m the fun one.”
“Fun? You tied her up.”
“And she lived and didn’t pee all over.”
I shake my head, “It’s okay, my love. Liam doesn’t know how to handle a little diaper,” I mock him and Aarabelle is her happy self.
Liam looks off and Aarabelle yells, bringing his attention back to her.
“Someone is just like her mommy,” his playful voice is animated. “I see you.” Liam gives Aara his hand and she slaps it a few times.
He gives her his attention and I sit in awe. They say the way to a man’s heart is his stomach, but mine is Aarabelle. She’s my world. There is nothing else that matters other than my daughter. A man can leave, die, cheat, but she’ll always be my child. Loving and accepting her is not only important, but without it, no man will ever have me.
Our food arrives and we eat and make small talk. I tell Liam about some of the things I’ve been handling at work and he tells me about the stupid things the teams have done. I laugh at his new game with Quinn of who’s the stronger one. It seems to be helping him with working out on a schedule again.
“Aarabelle’s birthday is coming up. Are you going to do a party?” Liam asks once we’ve finished dinner.
“I want to do something fun. Jackson said he and Catherine would fly in and I know my parents will come too. I should probably start planning.”
I have some time, but Liam’s known me long enough to know that my
parties are Martha Stewart on crack. I go overboard and love to have extravagant events with each minute detail planned. Usually it takes me about a month to hand-make all the decorations. I have issues.
“I would volunteer to help but . . .” he trails off. “I’ve been to your shindigs . . . and I’ll bring the beer.”
“I don’t think so,” I state with a smile. “You’re with me, you have to help.”
Liam mumbles under his breath as the waitress brings the check.
We decide to take another walk on the beach since it’s beautiful out. Liam pays the bill and lifts Aarabelle into his arms.
“Come on, sweetheart.” He stands with his hand extended.
I place my hand in his and we exit to the beach. Liam has Aarabelle in his one arm and wraps his other around me. I walk surrounded by him as his body shields me from the wind. This is one of the things I love most. We don’t have to talk. Liam is okay with the silence and so am I. Neither of us has the need to fill the quiet, we can simply find comfort in each other.
As we walk, Aarabelle tucks her head onto his shoulder and he protects her. My heart fills with love watching him care for her. He loves Aara and I love him. I’ve always cared for him as a friend, but today there’s no doubt that my feelings of friendship have formed into something much deeper.
“Liam,” I say tenderly.
He stops and we face each other. I want to tell him. I want him to know how much I care.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say feeling awkward. I look down and move the sand with my toes.
“Hey,” he says and pulls my attention back to him.
I take a deep breath. Liam isn’t Aaron. There’s no guarantee he won’t suffer the same fate, but the bottom line is that he’s different. Our relationship is much different as well. I was a kid when I met Aaron, we grew up together, and in some ways, we grew apart. The losses in his life caused him to put me in a different place in his heart. Maybe he didn’t want to hurt anymore, so he chose to hurt me instead. I’ll never know that answer, but I have to move forward.
I never planned to love again. But Liam . . . I can’t fight him. I don’t want to fight it either.
“I love you.” I say the words and I see the joy reflected in his eyes. Tears fill my own eyes as I let the love free in my heart. “I do. I love you. You make me happy and you make me feel safe.”
Liam steps closer and cups my cheek, “I love you, Natalie. I’ll always keep you safe.” My face tilts into his hand and he wipes a tear that descends down my cheek. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”
“I’m not sad. I just . . . there are things that scare me with loving you,” I admit.
“Like what?” Liam’s voice is tender and curious.
He must know the fears that I face. Or maybe he doesn’t. They immerse themselves in this world where they think they’re untouchable. Even though they live and breathe death.
“You’re an active duty Navy SEAL. I’m already a SEAL widow.” The words seep out and so does fear.
“I can’t make you promises. I’d be a liar and a fool to tell you it can’t happen to me. I know you know that. You knew when we started feeling more than friendship what it would mean. Deployments, training, dangerous things I can’t tell you about.” Liam’s words are measured, and his voice is strong and steady. He keeps his hand caressing my face, and my hand rests on his chest. “I can tell you all the bullshit you want to hear, but it’ll just be that. I want a life with you, Lee. I want to build something with you and Aarabelle. I want to spend my days thinking about coming home to you. I want to feel your body beneath me when I make love to you.”
I look up and my chest tightens.
“I want it all. I love you and Aarabelle, but it comes with a cost. I knew this was going to be something we have to work through. Loving me comes with the risk of knowing I might not come back home.”
A tear falls from my eye as the image flashes before me. Another knock on the door telling me he’s gone. Another flag on the mantel where I have to look at the only two men I loved taken from me. I can’t. I don’t think I could do it.
“I can’t lose you like that.”
“I can’t promise you won’t, but I can promise I’ll fight everything to make sure it doesn’t. I’ll do anything I can so you never have to feel that way. That’s the only promise I can make.”
Aarabelle sleeps soundly on Liam’s shoulder and I know the choice before me. Either I walk away from Liam now, save whatever is left of the heart I have left. Guard myself and be careful about who I let in, or give everything I have to him. Take the chance to end up with nothing or maybe the greatest love I’ve ever known. Liam and I have a chance to create a new love that I never had.
Aaron was easy and known. He was comfort and stability. I think even with his affair he wouldn’t have left me. We would’ve maybe found a way to get through it. It wouldn’t have been easy, but we have a kid, a life, a marriage together. I’ll never know those answers or whether it would’ve been true, but I loved him. Even now, as hurt as I am, Aaron holds an intangible piece of my heart and soul. It’ll always be his.
“If we do this,” I hesitate, “You’ll be careful?” It’s a stupid question, and that word is abhorrent to them. They don’t know how to be careful. It’s a hero complex, but he needs to know I need that.
“Natalie, I’ll do everything I can to come home to you.”
“Then let’s go back to the house. I’m ready for bed.”
I take his hand and we walk back to the car.
Nerves start to take hold as we get back to the house. I try to tell myself it’s only Liam, but then again—it’s Liam.
“I’m going to put her down.” My voice trembles. Smooth, Natalie.
“I’ll come with you,” he offers and places his hand on my back.
Great.
We climb the stairs and reach the spare bedroom where I’ve set up her portacrib. It faces the back of the house so the sun shouldn’t wake her first thing in the morning. I hold her a little longer than normal and kiss her forehead. I’m stalling.
Liam kisses her cheek, then kisses mine. He leaves the room and I let out a deep breath.
I need a fucking drink.
“Here goes nothing,” I say to myself and place her in her crib. “Sleep all night, my little princess.”
Mommy’s going to be busy.
Well, now where do I go? The bedroom? The bathroom? Do I have to slip into something? I feel like a dipshit.
I decide I really do need a drink and head to the kitchen. Liam is standing against the counter sipping a beer.
“Seems I’m not the only one,” I say with a laugh and grab the beer from his hand.
He grabs my waist and pulls me against him.
“You don’t have to be nervous. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want,” he says against my neck. His nose trails from my neck to my shoulder, and I place the bottle down on the counter behind him. Slowly his fingers dip into the fabric where my back isn’t exposed. He lingers there, grazing against my skin, while his tongue traces my neck up to my ear.
I shiver and heat pools in my core.
“I want to go slow. I want to savor every moment with you. I want to touch you, taste you, feel you, and then we’ll do it again.” His deep voice is rich and full of promise.
I melt in his arms.
“Liam, I’ve . . .” I stop speaking when his tongue traces the shell of my ear.
“You what, sweetheart?”
“I’ve . . .” I let out a shaky breath. “I’ve only ever been with Aaron,” I admit and tense. To some this might be a turn off. I don’t know. I only know how to do what Aaron liked and maybe I didn’t do it well. Maybe that’s why he sought another woman. “What if . . .”
Liam’s hands drift up my back and grip my shoulders from behind. He pulls me back so we’re eye to eye. “What if?”
“What if I suck?”
“I’m going to keep my first t
hought in check,” he replies with a smartass grin.
I stand waiting for him to be serious.
“Natalie, stop it. You’re perfect and we’ll talk. If you don’t like something, just tell me.” Liam’s eyes don’t waver. He waits until I nod.
Then he scoops me into his arms and pulls me against his chest.
“Put me down.”
“Hush.”
“I can—” I start to say, but he silences me with his lips.
Liam carries me with almost no effort up the stairs. We enter the bedroom and he carefully kicks it closed with his foot. He holds me and kisses me nonstop as he lays me on the bed.
“I love you,” he assures me.
“I love you.”
“I’m going to show you how much,” Liam’s eyes don’t leave mine as his hand travels from my face all the way along my body. He leans down allowing me to feel his weight.
I’m warm everywhere. I want him to touch me, kiss me, and I want to feel him inside of me. The want to be claimed by him is so fierce it rocks me to my core. He strokes the skin on my leg with his fingers. Gradually gliding up and down while staring at me. He inches higher and higher until he’s at the hem of my dress.
“Kiss me,” I request and he does.
Our tongues volley between each other and he pushes me deeper into the bed. His weight covers me and I want more. I hold his face and kiss him with everything I have. My heart thumps in my chest and my pulse races when his fingers skim across my underwear. Liam deepens the kiss and his hands trail higher until he’s rubbing the underside of my breast. The fabric is too tight and he retreats.
He sits up and pulls me with him. Deftly he unties the knot behind my neck and the straps fall, leaving my bare chest exposed. Liam looks down before his hands cup my breasts. Leaning in close, his lips are at my ear. “I’ve waited to do this again. I’ve dreamt of you lying naked before me. I hope you’re ready for a sleepless night, sweetheart.” He rolls my nipple between his fingers and I moan.
“Take your shirt off.” My voice is desperate. I want to feel his skin against mine again.
I help him by pulling it up and he removes it. The pads of my fingers trace the tattoo again and I remember how much he’s been through. Before I can think too much, his lips wrap around my nipple and his tongue circles it. My hands grip his head and hold him there.
Consolation (Consolation Duet #1) Page 18