by Mia Hoddell
“I know, man. I’m sorry, it’s the day. While I’ve known it’s been coming I never thought it would get here. Things were starting to look up as well. Can you check everything’s still good? I know I haven’t slipped up, but it’d ease my mind.”
“I get it, and I’ll take a look because Crowley shouldn’t be searching for you unless you fuck it all up.”
“Yeah, thanks. I owe you.”
“Yes, you do. I’ll be in touch once I’ve looked into everything and I’ll let you know if I hear anything or if something changes.” He disconnected the call and I held my breath. Forcing the urge to throw the mobile through the wall to subside, I lowered my hand from my ear and jammed it back into my pocket.
Nothing felt real.
Like I told Levi, even though I knew this day would eventually arrive it had crept up and surprised me. For seven years I’d been relatively safe. Of course I’d been cautious, yet with Crowley now out of prison I needed to step up my game. It was the reason I left the UK to begin with. When I told Alaya I had no idea what I was doing when I got on that train it had been a lie. I knew exactly what I was doing, just not where I was going. I’d needed to leave because I didn’t want to live constantly watching over my shoulder. However, despite my intentions, the time had come. What made it worse was now I had something to lose.
I should have stayed dead on the inside as well as in the public records.
Dead people had nothing to lose and nothing to fear.
A knock on my door dragged me from my thoughts. I closed the distance within three strides and almost yanked the door from its hinges when I ripped it open. I didn’t realise until Alaya made my breath catch that they’d been shallow and full of rage.
“You ready to go?”
Big, round eyes stared up at me, her body too close in the small hallway. She hadn’t bothered to step back from the door, leaving under a foot between us. I could see every fleck of blue in her grey irises and every rare freckle across her nose. I wanted to connect them with my finger to see what puzzle it would solve, but I couldn’t.
I needed to die again and she was the one forcing me to live.
“Go where?”
“Really? I only left you half an hour ago. We were going to get dinner. How could you have forgotten already?”
I reached up to knead the back of my neck. I hadn’t forgotten, just reconsidered. “I think I’m going to have a quiet night in instead. I’m worn out.”
Her expression fell ever so slightly, her lips tilting down at the corners before they hardened. The guilt roiling within me didn’t even have time to manifest properly when determined resolve filled Alaya’s gaze and she fixed me with a heated stare. “No you’re not.”
Bracing myself on the doorframe, I heaved a sigh. Trust me to find the one girl with the guts to stand up to me. Then again, I asked her to.
Her tiny hand found its way into mine. Closing around my hand, her grip felt surprisingly strong for someone her size. Like a steel vice it locked so I wouldn’t be able to shake her off without causing an injury, which was the last thing I wanted.
“Do you have your key?”
“No, it’s on the—”
Alaya tugged on my hand and sent me stumbling into the corridor. It wouldn’t have been enough had I been paying attention, only she caught me off guard. As I regained my balance, Alaya leaned around me and shut the door. I tried to spin and prevent it from closing with my foot, but I was too slow.
“Oh, look, you’re locked out.” She grinned at me, her expression full of victory. “Now you have to come to dinner with me because I’m not giving you the spare key until we’ve eaten.”
“Nice try, Gingernut, but my wallet is also in my room.”
She batted my comment away like it was nothing more than an irritating fly buzzing around her. “You can pay me back later. Come on.” At some point she’d taken my hand again and wrenched me down the hall.
“Thin ice, sweetheart. Thin. Ice.” My mood soured with every step. I wanted to be left alone to deal with everything that had happened today. In a matter of hours I found a semblance of normality and in another it was ripped from beneath my feet.
“How many times do I have to tell you, Hazel? You don’t scare me.” She spun, and walked the rest of the way backwards. A bounce filled her steps, all of her movements light and jovial. Compared to my heavy thuds and reluctant posture, she danced like a god damned fairy trying to guide me towards a portal to her world.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?”
She pressed the call button on the lift and shrugged. “Eh, I’m not worried. You have absolutely no follow through. You’ve been promising I won’t like what will happen since we met, and so far you’ve done nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Absolutely nothing—”
A growl rumbled in my throat as we stepped into the lift, cutting off her sentence. With her hand still in mine she pressed herself against my arm, leaving no gap between us. When she stood on tiptoes, I tried to ignore the feeling of her breasts skimming my bare skin as she stretched to reach my ear.
“Am I getting to you, Hazel?” I could hear the smile in her words, the name falling from her lips in a teasing whisper.
I closed my eyes, praying for strength. Nothing I said could have made the situation better so I chose the only option available: to hold my breath and count to ten. When I reached six she dropped my hand and stepped away. At the sudden loss of contact and heat I snapped my eyes open to focus on her. She cocked her hip out and rested her hand on it while the humour in her expression still glinted at me.
The lift doors pinged open.
“See? No follow through.” She sashayed from the lift, only glancing back once to check I followed her. Not that I had an option. She was impossible not to follow. Her confidence and free-spirit drew me to her and made it impossible to leave. Even if I was going to destroy her in the process.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Alaya
Some people would probably call me stupid for provoking the beast. However, I wanted him to break. I needed to see him at his worst to know what kind of secrets he concealed because in the half an hour I’d been gone something had changed. The frown lines on his face had deepened, his posture appeared more withdrawn, and his expressions were harder.
It was undoubtedly stupid. After all, I didn’t know anything about Cole or what he was capable of. Regardless, my gut told me he needed to be pushed and I shouldn’t fear him. He liked to act dangerous, yet I figured that was all it was … an act.
“Do you think you’re going to let go of your phone at any point? Or are you trying to crush it?” I nodded at his clenched fist on top of the table. I hadn’t said anything while walking to the restaurant or throughout ordering and neither had he.
“I’m waiting for a call and I can’t miss it.”
“Girlfriend?”
“Friend.”
“Friend who’s a girl?”
He grunted and used his free hand to stab at the roasted vegetables next to his omelette and baked potato. “Why do you want to know?”
Okay, not the reaction I’d hoped for. But then again, why did I care? “I’m curious about what could be so important your phone has literally moulded itself into your hand.”
“And you think I’m the type of guy to take a call from a girlfriend while having dinner with another woman?” A deadly glint flickered in his eyes. The forest green and rich browns swarmed to darken his stare. “I may be an asshole, but I’m not that kind of asshole.”
“Forget I asked.” I focused on my own plate, pushing around the salad that came with my salmon. My lack of appetite had me repeatedly glancing out over the river. We’d picked the table nearest the railings on the patio per my request. I liked overlooking the almost tropical blue water. The peaceful trickling gave me the impression of freedom, like I wasn’t sitting in the heart of a village surrounded by people. The dry mud banks alternated with the grey stonework of bridges and fo
undations, while the mountains towered up behind the houses on the opposite bank to encase them in a dark shadow of greenery.
Dalton had recommended the place to me when I planned everything out, and even though it was a little trek away, it proved worth it. I fell in love with it instantly. To get to it we walked through the narrow streets lined by the ancient stone houses. Like one giant building, there never seemed to be an end to them, or the archways and steps that led us further into the village. It reminded me of a castle with its hidden passageways and entrances blending seamlessly into the streets.
The front of the restaurant merged with the medieval atmosphere of the town. However, it opened out on to a beautiful patio overlooking the river. Tucked away it provided a calm and serene place of tranquillity.
“Alaya.” Cole’s voice softened and he dipped his head to try and catch my attention. “I’m sorry. It’s just been a weird day.”
I watched him with uncertainty. “I thought you had fun.”
“I did. I had a great time with you, but when I got back to the hotel a friend—Levi—called to give me some news. You’d made me forget about it up until that point.”
“Can I ask what the news was?”
His whole body stiffened. He placed the fork he held down on his plate and stilled. For a moment silence hung between us as he considered my question. I’d decided to retract it when his gaze met mine.
“Someone I helped put in jail seven years ago got released today. Levi’s a cop but also does some private investigator work on the side for one case he’s slightly obsessed with. He wanted to let me know, though I’m not going to say anything else.”
I struggled to fight my jaw dropping. I hadn’t been expecting his answer, and it obviously cost him to admit it to me. Just the mention of the truth caused him to shut down and close off. He retreated into his mind so I censored the thoughts I longed to speak.
I smiled, deliberately adding as much teasing to my words as possible. “So is that your deep, dark secret? Do I win the bet?”
He snorted. “Do you really think I’d lose so easily? That’s nothing compared to the information you’re after, sweetheart.”
Everything about his statement and attitude should have put me on edge. Any normal person would have been scared off, or at least wary. He spoke in riddles, and the small parts he revealed weren’t enough to give me any kind of solid picture. However, his words only intrigued me more. I wanted him to let me in and trust me so he’d be able to move on.
I possessed no logical reason as to why I wanted to help him so much, but everyone deserved a chance to find freedom in their own way. From the start I knew the only way Cole would find his freedom was to be honest with himself and confront whatever past haunted him. The games, teasing, and activities were a way of getting him to let go. I hoped if I showed him I could be trusted and he could also have fun with me, he’d realise things were worth fighting for.
“No, but a girl can hope.”
“Why are you hoping to find out so much? You can’t un-hear things once they’ve been said, Gingernut. And you’ll wish you had never asked once you know.”
“Try me and I’ll tell you if you’re right.”
“Nah, I’m not bored of having you around yet. I’ll wait until I want to scare you off.”
I pursed my lips despite the warmth spreading through me as the shadows ghosting his features began to clear. His posture relaxed and the tension in his grip uncoiled minutely.
Not wanting to lose him again, I changed the subject. “How do you feel about paragliding?”
“If I said it sounds like a terrible idea are you going to make me do it anyway?”
“Yes.”
“I say it sounds interesting then.”
“Good, because I want to try it. I’ve booked a spot tomorrow.”
He threw his gaze to the sky with a resigned huff. “What time shall I meet you in the lobby?”
“Twelve o’clock? The bus leaves at quarter past and it takes a few hours to get to the location.”
“Sounds good.” He glanced down at his phone distractedly. Despite appearing more relaxed, he barely seemed present in the conversation as he answered with as few words possible.
“Are you sure?”
He didn’t have time to answer since his phone began ringing. Jumping out of his seat, he almost sent it flying across the patio with the force of his movements. The metal scraped loudly over the flagstones, piercing the peaceful atmosphere. All of the tension returned to his body to force him into standing ramrod straight. When he hurried to answer it, he spun the device, almost dropping it in the process.
“I have to take this.” He was already storming to the furthest corner of the patio as I waved him away.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Cole
My breaths came in short, sharp rasps. Once again Alaya managed to make me forget everything for a few minutes, but like always Levi sent my thoughts sailing straight back to Giles Crowley.
“I’m good, right?”
“What was one of the first things I told you to do in order to disappear? I warned you about it over and over, but for all the good it did I may as well have told my parrot!” Levi barked down the phone.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about you and your fucking credit cards, Cole. The first thing I told you was everything electronic could be used to trace you. I warned you never to use your cards again and what did you do? How is France?”
My heartbeat increased to a dangerous level, my blood pounding in my skull. I hadn’t told anyone where I’d gone and his comment about credit cards didn’t make sense. I paid in cash for everything since leaving. I wasn’t a total idiot.
Screwing my eyes shut, I hunched over the railing and rested my forearms on the cool metal. I forced my mind to calm down and repressed my instinct to flee. “I haven’t used any card, Levi. I’ve been careful—beyond careful.”
“Well, you haven’t been careful enough. Seven years and you decide the day Crowley gets released is the time to fuck up. Great going, man.” The sarcasm in his voice hurt like a kick to the gut, even down the phone line.
“I. Haven’t. Used. It,” I ground out, my teeth gritted.
“Are you or are you not in France? In Roya Valley to be more specific.”
“Yes, but—”
“If you haven’t used it, someone else has. It’s the only blip in what was the perfect disappearance. I’ve wiped the record and cancelled the cards, but whether anyone’s seen it is out of my hands. You need to get out, Cole. One tiny error is all it takes to unravel the web I’ve spun, you know that.”
I gazed across at Alaya with regret.
“Time to die again then.”
“Be careful, mate.”
Disconnecting the call, I hung my head and rested it on top of my hands. I inhaled long and slow. Holding the breath in for a second, I attempted to control the anger burning its way through my body to stop it taking over me. I clenched the phone so hard it surprised me when it didn’t crumble. The warm plastic felt flimsy beneath my grip.
Even in the mild evening air sweat beaded on my forehead.
I didn’t ask for any of this.
Standing, I brought my arm back above my head and threw it forward while letting go of the phone. It sailed through the air, blending in with the fading light until it hit the water with a small splash and vanished.
I waited until the ripples stopped expanding and counted back from twenty to collect myself. Then I pushed off the railing, my jaw clenched as I worked my way back through the tables to get to Alaya.
“Did your girlfriend break up with you?” She chuckled at her own joke, yet I didn’t crack a smile.
“Not now, Alaya. I need to get back.” I forced my chair under the table roughly, our drinks shuddering as I knocked the legs. Without so much as a question, Alaya dabbed her mouth with her serviette and called the waiter over to ask for the bill. She didn’t look happy.
He’s taking too long.
Standing there tapping my foot impatiently, I waited for her to pay. I knew it was unreasonable and Crowley couldn’t possibly have caught up with me yet—even if he saw the card purchases—because of the distance. Therefore I needed to calm down.
“The bill’s settled, we can go.”
Alaya stormed past me without even making eye contact. Her quick steps forced me to jog to close the gap she’d opened up between us, and even when I matched her stride she refused to glance in my direction. Every part of her body remained rigid as we wound through the narrow streets. The steps and passageways went on for what seemed like miles, twisting and turning like a concrete maze. With the light fading the shadows became even darker, only adding to my nervous disposition. No matter how much I told myself no one was following us, I couldn’t prevent my gaze from scanning the area warily, watching for any possibility of someone lurking in the darkness.
When we reached the hotel I followed Alaya all the way up to her room. She had yet to speak a word to me, and if I wasn’t going to see her again I would be damned if it ended with an argument. It would have been better as hating me would’ve made things easier for her to deal with, but I was selfish.
She unlocked her door, and when she went to step over the threshold I snagged her wrist. Spinning her around, I guided her back until she was pressed against the wall. She craned her neck up to scowl at me as the cool plaster sent a shiver through her body. At least I assumed it was the cold. If I allowed myself to even consider the idea it was my proximity to her, I’d never go.
“I had fun today,” I murmured, my voice low as I tried to remove all traces of tension from it.
“Really?” she snorted disdainfully.
“The week was perfect until about an hour ago.” I inched closer, placing my hands on the wall either side of her head. Glancing down at her, I forced a smirk on to my lips. “I got to see you in a bikini, you straddled me on a bike, and now you’re in a dress I want to peel you out of. What’s not to love?”