A Broken World (Book 3): Fractured Memories

by Lauck, Andrew

  Jessica and I spent the night in a hotel room, content to share a bed after our conversation in Pittsburg, while Sampson slept at the foot. Unlike Pennsylvania, though, it was no longer the northeast or snowing, so it was no Hallmark movie sleep. I never understood how couples always slept so perfectly and woke up holding each other, because Jessica and I got way too hot in about five minutes and parted ways.

  Six hours later, I cracked my eyes open to find the sun poking through the blinds of our room, wondering if the previous evening had been a dream until I felt Jessica next to me. Her beige tank top and tie-die pajama bottoms didn’t match at all, but they were adorable and something I could get used to waking up to. Just as I stretched, though, I heard a low rumble over the sound of her quiet breathing.

  Jessica woke in an instant and we threw on clothes quickly, the sound of engines rolling toward the outpost being the first vehicles we had heard in a long time. Either Harper meant business or we had some unwanted company, but we saw the answer as soon as we stepped out of our hotel.

  “I thought horses were the only means of transportation these days,” I called, nodding toward a Humvee at the front of the convoy. Harper stepped back from the gate guard and shook my hand, plucking the cigar from his lips and blowing thick smoke to the side.

  “They are if you don’t bring a good mechanic with you, which I did.” His mouth cracked into a thin smile, the rarity of which told me the situation was serious. “Come on, let’s get these things parked so we can get down to brass tacks.” He cocked his head toward the Humvee and we jumped in, the short drive ending outside the hospital where Murray had mounted his siege defense. Apparently, this was his Alamo.

  Harper gave orders to his men before leading us inside, returning the habitual salutes of soldiers as he went. He knew as well as we did that salutes no longer applied, but it was still a nice gesture. We took the stairs to the second floor, coming out to a much calmer setting than the last time we had been there.

  The circulation desk no longer had plans and maps loosely spread over it, medical staff weren’t frantically trying to keep up with the influx of patients, and the lack of blood in the hallway was refreshing. Of course, Harper didn’t know any of this and marched to the right, ending at an office door. Inside was a similar setup to his war room at the Alamo, with blueprints and maps overlapping on a large desk in the center of the floor, as well as a white board wheeled in that had numbers and state abbreviations written all over it. Of everything on the desk, though, what stood out the most was a copy of the reactor map we had found in Houston with several markings on it.

  “Notice anything familiar about that?” Harper saw me staring and I nodded, my eyes drifting over several red exes and circles.

  “I’m guessing the exes are reactors that we were able to stabilize with coolant, while the circles are the blast radii of the ones we couldn’t?” There was a venn diagram over California, crossing over Arizona and Nevada, that brought several memories flashing to mind, but I suppressed them as I saw another in the northeast. “That’s close to Pittsburg.” I phrased it more as a question, but my urgent tone was demanding an answer.

  “We knew a reactor had blown to the north, but when you didn’t report it we knew the area was safe to populate. Murray has the coolant we didn’t use in California, but we’re sending additional supplies to stabilize any other reactors in the vicinity. The people we stationed at that outpost will be fine,” he added reassuringly, but I didn’t feel at ease. There had to be a reason that he was here, with a convoy of vehicles, especially if it wasn’t to bring coolant to Murray.

  “What aren’t you telling us?” Jessica asked before I could, and Harper reached for his pocket to pull out another cigar before deciding against it. Before he could answer, though, there was a knock on the door and Gabriel walked in, nodding to Harper before bowing to Mills, who rolled her eyes. “Okay, now I really want to know what’s going on.” I looked to Gabriel, then Harper, then to the numbers on the white board. Each number was a time with a letter designation, the same letters that matched the map labels. The lowest countdown on the board corresponded with a circled letter in Washington.

  “Eric, I’m just telling you this as a courtesy. Gabriel’s team was in the northwest and they reported that Washington’s reactor is still active. Douglas thinks the cold weather has kept it from melting down, but he said it’s only a matter of time before the fuel rods combust. Apparently, the newer reactors had a built-in failsafe, where they shut off if the coolant isn’t replaced after enough time. Unfortunately, he said all reactors will go up eventually if they were active, and he has no idea if this one was new or old.” Which was why California’s reactors went off, but the ones in the northeast hadn’t yet.

  “I’m going up to evacuate everyone I can before it blows, but the area of impact would be massive,” Gabriel cut in, leaning against the wall. “Washington, Idaho, Oregon, and Montana would all be hit, so Harper here has agreed to let me and Douglas go in and try to prevent the explosion completely.”

  “How many?” I asked, causing Harper to sigh before scratching his stubble nervously.

  “With that reactor in play, anyone caught within fifty miles of the blast would be lost instantly. Fifty miles past that, they would get radiation poisoning and suffer until death.”

  “Jesus,” I breathed.

  “Douglas says that the reactor could go any day, and that the coolant might not even be enough if the fuel rods are damaged, but they’re going to try. Because time is against us, and, to be candid, this is possibly a suicide mission, I wouldn’t even ask you to be involved if Gabriel and Murray hadn’t talked me into it.”

  “Yeah…” I muttered, staring at the circle on the map. Jessica grabbed my arm and pulled me aside, her lips tight.

  “Eric, tell me you’re not considering this. Tell me you realize how crazy it is when even Harper thinks it’s a suicide mission.”

  “I do realize that.” She shook her head as her eyes fell to the floor.

  “This isn’t your fight. You don’t owe anything to anyone.”

  “Katherine, Matthew, Marcus, Antoinette. If they weren’t safe in San Antonio, if they were anywhere near Washington, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation, Jessica.”

  “But they’re not, Eric!” she burst out, her voice shaky. “They’re here! You’re here! Doesn’t that mean anything?” she pleaded, tears welling in her eyes. I met her gaze, seeing her desperation.

  “It means everything, Jessica, believe me. They deserve to be safe and they are.”

  “That woman in Virginia said you can’t save everyone, and I thought you understood by now that everything doesn’t fall on your shoulders.” I laid my hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her, but she pulled away.

  “After everything that happened with Calvin, I understand perfectly, but I keep thinking of California. Jessica, do you remember how you felt seeing all those ashes, how you could practically hear their screams in the air? If you can honestly tell me that, given the chance, you wouldn’t have tried to save every single one of them by preventing that reactor from going off, even knowing you could fail, I will walk away and we can go back to San Antonio right now.” She stayed quiet, her tears subsiding as she closed her eyes, wanting to lie to herself so badly before shaking her head in defeat.

  “I can’t,” she whispered.

  “If my happiness means knowingly letting all of those people die, if I were to walk away knowing I could have done something to stop it, then I don’t…I wouldn’t be happy.” I paused, taking a deep breath. “I can’t, in good conscience, do nothing, because anyone left up there has fought and survived in this hell for as long as we have and they don’t deserve to die without a chance. I don’t care if anyone ever knows, but let this be the last thing I do before hanging up my hat from the hero game. Let this be our final act of humanity to redeem what we lost, once and for all.” Jessica didn’t say anything for a long time, her eyes on the tile floor, bef
ore she dried her face on her sleeve.

  “You deserve to be happy, Eric. You do know that, right?”

  “I do, and I am happy, Jessica. I have you. I also know that you really are the best of us.” She nodded and rolled her eyes at me, looking at the ceiling.

  “Part of me wants to go with you and keep you out of trouble, but I can’t watch you die, Eric. Not again.”

  “I understand that, and no one would hold it against you if you stayed. I know what I’m asking, and I know exactly what I might have to do when I get there, but it would be a hell of a lot better knowing you were there to watch my back. Just…think about it, okay?” She nodded again before I returned to the table.

  “Is everything okay between you two?” Gabriel asked, genuine concern in his voice.

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, then, are we going on another road trip or have our roads diverged for possibly the last time?”

  “I never took you as a poetry fan.” Gabriel smirked.

  “I’m full of surprises, mate, and who doesn’t love some Bobby Frost?”

  “Well, then, we’re gonna have a grand ol’ time in Washington.” His smirk evolved into a full smile, but Harper cut in, his expression absolute seriousness underneath bunched eyebrows.

  “Are you sure, son? No one expects you to do this, especially after everything you’ve done.” I met his gaze, then looked at the map, before settling on Gabriel, whose eyes screamed determination. He understood as well as I did what might happen at that reactor, and he knew what we were both capable of, what we could become. I answered without looking away, meeting his focus.

  “It’s what we do.”

  Chapter 46

  The rest of the day passed quickly, knowing every second counted as I packed to prepare for anything. There was no telling what we would encounter in Washington, knowing there had been no ventures that far northwest to clear out hostile activity, assuming we even made it far enough without being wiped out by a wave of heat first. Trying to block that dark thought out of my mind, I also tried not to notice the lack of Jessica’s presence as she debated her involvement. I would feel a lot better knowing she had my back on this mission, but I also understood her reasons for not jumping on the crazy train and refused to pressure her. Of course, part of me didn’t want her to come for fear of what she might see me become if things went south.

  I finished packing, having borrowed some things from Murray’s armory, and welcomed Douglas to the Mississippi outpost on my way to Harper’s office. Douglas looked different, more mature, hardened, but also seemed distant from the last time I saw him. The last year had taken a toll on him, undoubtedly aided by his exposure to firsthand violence. Still, I had one more matter to take care of before placing all of my attention on Washington, and that rested on a conversation I was dreading.

  Entering the hospital, I walked up the stairs slowly, trying to mentally prepare myself for what I might say and feeling stupid at every turn. Looking at the ceiling and taking a deep breath, I stepped into Murray’s radio room to find Jessica holding the receiver, turning as soon as I entered.

  “It sounds like you two are having a good time down there, and I can’t wait to see you! Oh, hold on, Eric’s here. I’m gonna get off and let you two talk.” She said her goodbye and stood, holding the radio out for me to take. I brought it up to my ear, completely unsure of what to say.

  “Kat, are you there?”

  “Eric! It’s so good to hear your voice and know that you’re okay!” she practically screamed into the radio. “It was really nice to talk to Jessica, too! I can’t wait for you to come back, because I have so much to tell you!” I immediately felt a stab of regret, but had to power through it.

  “Kat, there’s something I have to talk to you about.” Her stunned silence on the other end told me she had an idea what was coming.

  “You’re not coming home, are you?”

  “I want to, kiddo, believe me.”

  “It’s our anniversary, Eric.”

  “I know, and I still plan to make it. Something has come up, and if it weren’t a matter of life or death I’d be there in a heartbeat, believe me.”

  “What is it?” I considered lying, but decided she deserved to hear the true gravity of the situation.

  “A reactor in Washington is still active and we’re going to try and evacuate as many people as we can before it goes off. Gabriel wants to try and stop it completely, but there’s a good chance we might not be able to, so it’s the most dangerous thing we’ve done. I have the chance to save a lot of people, though, and this is the last mission before I come home for good.” There was a pause on the other end before Kat came in again, her voice level.

  “In that case,” she was holding back tears, staying strong for me, “just promise me you’ll make it back. Please, Eric, if you promise, I know you will.” I glanced to Jessica, my jaw clenched as I knew how much of a lie I might be telling.

  “I promise, Katherine. I love you, and tell Matt to take care of you.” I almost added, “Just in case,” but stopped myself. She could tell, though, and I heard her start to cry, which broke my heart.

  “I love you, too, Dad.” She sniffled, clearing her throat. “Just do what you have to do to come home safe.” I smiled, the amount of pride I had for her in that moment almost too much to contain.

  “I will.” We both said bye and I ended the call, holding the dead line to my forehead in silence. Jessica had stayed for the call, listening to every word, and came to stand behind me, wrapping her arms around my head. I let myself have a moment of weakness before stepping out of the radio room and cracking my neck, my full attention now on the road ahead.

  Something felt different in the air on my way from the hospital to the hotel, something final. It was a subtle shifting of the breeze, a swelling in the lungs, something completely intangible that hit me by the time I made it back to my room to pick up my bags. I couldn’t tell if it was confidence or fear, or maybe a combination of both, but an eerie calm eventually settled into the pit of my stomach as I left my room and came out to the street where the convoy waited.

  “Are we all ready, then?” Gabriel asked as I walked up with my duffel bag of ammunition, food, water, medical kit, and my back pack, the same one I had gotten from K-Mart four years ago. It might as well have been a lifetime, for all that had changed, but it also strangely felt like nothing was different. I lifted my duffel and set it in the trunk hatch, securing it before double-checking the M4 across my chest. I had considered bringing the M249 for heavy firepower, but the weight and bulk of the weapon were big cons of that plan.

  “Let’s get this show on the road,” I replied, shutting the hatch. Another bag slapped into the gap, preventing the hatch from closing, and I looked back to find Jessica locked and loaded.

  “Did you really think I would sit this one out and let you two, as reckless as you are, try to pull it off alone? Without a woman around, you’d both be dead by now.” I glanced to Gabriel, who shrugged.

  “Sorry, mate, can’t argue with that logic.” He pulled himself into the driver’s seat and I turned to Jessica, who shut the hatch.

  “I know how you feel about this one, Jess. You don’t have to come.”

  “I heard you make that promise to Kat, Eric, and I’ll be damned if I don’t make sure you see it through. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen you do the impossible, so if I’m going to trust anyone to pull off a miracle it’s going to be you.”

  “If it helps, Gabriel will be there, too.” She squinted, a slight grin playing at her features.

  “I’m honestly not sure that he doesn’t get you into more trouble.”

  “Well, either way, I guess we’ll find out soon enough.” We got into the Humvee and watched the outpost pass by as the convoy rolled out of the gates, the safety of the walls becoming shadows of our past like so many before. The question hanging in the air that none of us wanted to voice and no one had an answer for, was whether we would live to see a
nother.

  Part X

  Chapter 47

  I had never been one to get nervous, no anxiety tying my stomach in knots on the plane rides overseas or just before an insertion. In my head, I had prepared for any variable, meticulously gone over each potential snag in a mission. That mental preparation, the one Anthony had always called my “inner serial killer,” gave me a sense of calm that allowed me to have a crystal-clear focus on obtaining the objective. You can understand, then, why it bothered me so much when my stomach grew tighter the closer we got to Washington.

  It could have been the excessive number of unknowns from a lack of reconnaissance, or the fact that I had no idea about the outcome, or that I had a promise to keep that, for the first time in my life, I genuinely didn’t know if I could, or the countless other concerns flooding my brain, but what I had wasn’t just a bad feeling. No, what had my stomach strung out like a frayed guitar string was the worst feeling I’ve ever had, with my gut eerily silent.

  “Alright, folks, listen up,” Harper’s gravelly voice came in over the radio. “We just passed the Idaho state line, which means we’re about half an hour away from the beginning of the evacuation line. I’m sure everyone knows why we’re here, but for the sake of being old fashioned, here it is. H-one and H-two will head west to Oregon, H-three and H-four north to Montana, and I’ll take the northwest sector of Idaho. If you find any survivors above ground, either bring them to a point outside of the blast zone or, if possible, they can use their own form of transportation. Each team has a map, and the red circle around Washington is where we don’t want to be if the shit hits the fan. Once your sector is clear, we’ll fan into Washington to save as many people as possible. Time is of the essence here, people, so make it count. Of course, while we have the easy job, Gabriel’s team will take Carrier-one and H-six and continue straight through to hit the reactor directly. Your only objective is to keep that thing from going off. To everyone, it’s been an honor to serve with you. Godspeed.” Colonel Harper signed off, letting silence fill the vehicle.