by Alexis Gold
He tried to draw a breath into his chest, but it was difficult. It felt as if an anvil was crushing him. He nodded and gave her a half-smile, and then took a few steps back. “Oh… I didn’t realize that you two… were…” he paused and shook his head. “I’ll just let you get going then,” he said quietly. She nodded and grabbed the keys, heading out of her room.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” He looked at her with a pained smile. They were leaving to end their trip the next morning, and he had assumed that she would, of course, be having dinner with him. It had not occurred to him that she might not want to have dinner with him, or that she might have other plans.
She gave him a sympathetic smile and he waved and turned back toward his own room, trying not to listen to her walking to the elevator, and yet walking slow enough that the elevator doors closed before he reached his room.
As Naomi waited for the elevator doors to close, she watched him walk away and everything in her began to ache for him. She wanted to open the elevator doors back up, and then she wanted to run down the hall to him and wrap him in her arms as tightly as she could, but she knew that he didn’t feel that way about her, and she could not jeopardize her job or their working relationship.
She felt like her heart was expanding with sadness and need far beyond any capacity that she was able to handle, and she closed her eyes, willing herself to breathe normally and to let go of the ache and need that she felt for her boss.
The feelings in her chest that were constricting her would not stop, and it was in that moment that she realized that she was falling for him, and that the emotion in her ran much deeper than a crush. It was much stronger than anything she had ever felt for anyone before, and she knew that there was no way to stem it, and no way in the world to stop it.
A hot tear escaped her closed eyes and the elevator doors opened to the hotel lobby.
* **
Jonathon spent a sleepless night trying to distract himself from thinking about Naomi being out with Shane. He tried to keep away the mental images of her in her vanilla colored sweater dress and thoughts of the heated moment when they had met in her doorway. More than anything, he had wanted to reach out to her and pull her to him in that moment; kiss her, taste her, and feel her body against his, but he had held himself back, and the moment had passed. Try as he might, she would not leave his mind and nothing he did could get her out of his thoughts.
Naomi showered and dressed in the morning, packed her bag, and waited in the lobby of the hotel for Jonathon to come down. She noticed how tired he looked when she saw him, and she wondered what he had been up to the night before. Considering his reputation and that he was out of town, there was no telling what he had been up last night, she thought. She felt a stab of jealousy touch her heart, and she pushed it away.
He was her boss. That was it. There was nothing between them and there never would be, so there was no reason for her to be jealous. She smiled at him as he greeted her, and they got into the car together and neither one of them spoke about her date the night before. Their conversation stayed on the topic of the business meeting and the hopes they shared of making their plans for Anthony’s business a success.
They traveled back to Manhattan and Naomi felt her heart tug when they waved goodbye at the airport, both of them getting into different vehicles and going back to their lives. Things had changed between them and she knew that they would not be the same again.
She gave serious consideration as to what it meant to her to love, or to feel strongly for someone and for that person to be important to her. She could not give a name to the feelings she had; she didn’t know just what it was that she was feeling for Jonathon; she only knew that it was powerful, and that there was no way for her to stop it.
She also knew that there was no way that it could go forward, and that left her in a strange place. It left her in the position of only being able to be a friend to him. Her options were limited, and all that she felt she could do was to show him how much he meant to her by being a good friend to him.
The next morning when she got to the office, she poured coffee for him and prepared it the way that she knew he liked it, and she left it on his desk with a little note. On the note she drew a happy face and wrote ‘Ivy League coffee’ on the paper.
When Jonathon came in a few minutes later, he was more than surprised to see it, and it made him laugh. He wanted to thank her for it, but he realized that he should let it pass without comment. He realized that she was making a gesture of concession and friendship to him. As much as it pained him to know that friendship was all he could have with her, he also knew that if that was all he could have, he would take it. As long as he had some part of her, no matter what part of her it was.
A short while later, she was sitting at her desk when a delivery arrived for her, and she was stunned when the delivery man brought in a massive bouquet of flowers. It was filled with what seemed like every color of blossom that there was, in so many different shapes and sizes, and every one of them was beautiful in its own way, but together they all made a perfect arrangement.
There was a note attached to it, and when she opened it, it made her gasp and she covered her lips with the tips of her fingers. Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes moved over the words. ‘With genuine gratitude for all of the hard work you do, you are so appreciated. Jonathon.’
She thanked the delivery man and set the flowers on the back corner of her desk where they took up most of the area. Their scent filled the room and as she typed out a thank you message to him in an email, she found herself smiling widely as happiness filled her heart.
Naomi felt so deeply that she wanted more from him, but she knew that it would have to be enough to share a friendship with him. As she gazed at the flowers again, she knew that their friendship was going to be a good one, and it would never be enough for her, but it was something, and she would take something over nothing any day.
*
Chapter4
The days passed and as each one slipped by, Naomi and Jonathon both found ways to express their care for one another without letting their true feelings be known. Each of them was well aware of the boundaries they were locked into; borders of a working environment, an employer and an employee, and both of them knew that the other did not share the feelings of longing that they felt for each other.
Jonathon called Naomi into his office one morning about two weeks after their out-of-town business trip, and he made himself look away from her when she walked into the room. He’d had to develop behaviors that made working near her easier on him. Watching her walk or move was something that stirred a deep heat in him, and so he looked away whenever she was around him. It was hard for him to focus on other things, but he did it in order to keep his own desires under control and to make her feel comfortable around him.
She sat down opposite him at his desk and he looked up at her and smiled. She smiled back and it sent a wave of warmth and longing through him. He cleared his throat and set his hands on his desk.
“My father is co-hosting a business luncheon with a friend of his this weekend, and I wanted to ask you to attend it with me. There will be several people there that we work with, both within this company and from other companies, and I’ve invited Anthony Bryan, so it would be a good chance for us to talk with him again in person. Do you think you’ll be able to make it?” He asked her with high hopes.
He had discovered that any time they were out of the office environment together, she seemed more relaxed around him, and he felt like he was able to be with her as she really was, rather than being with her in her capacity as his administrative assistant in the confines of the office.
She watched him and saw the look of hope in his eyes, and she felt that she would have given him the moon if he had asked her for it, but she would not let herself show him that. She nodded lightly and gave him a smile.
“Of course, I don’t have any big plans this Saturday. I can come. Thank you for letting
me know about it.” She told him as she watched relief come over his face.
“I’ll send a car for you to your apartment. You’ll want to dress up a little. It’s casual, but it’s business casual and weather permitting, it will be partly outside.” Happiness surged through him upon hearing that she would be there. He could not stop the thoughts that began to go through his mind about the two of them attending the function together and his imagination budded with scenarios he could only wish for in his heart.
Naomi watched as the smile on his face widened, and it made her happy to know that he wanted her there with him and that she would be by his side for the event. She felt important to him, as though he needed her there, and feeling needed by him warmed her heart.
***
Saturday morning arrived and Naomi took special care in readying herself that day. She wore a slim fitting black skirt and a light blue sweater that brought out the varying hues of sky blue in her eyes. She pulled her long curls up and wore them loose at the back of her head, and she used her makeup to accent her eyes, her lips, and the arch of her cheekbones. She pulled on a pair of heels and wore the pearls that she had worn the day of her interview with Cross Corp.
After a careful assessment in the mirror, she gave herself a smile of approval and was just getting her coat when the car arrived for her. She thought about being with Jonathon at the event, feeling as if her being there with him was quite possibly the closest thing she would ever have to a date with him. She wanted to look the part of his date, even if it wasn’t really that way. Business event or not, she would be spending the day with him by his side, and that filled her with joy.
She slid into the back seat of the car and the beginnings of excitement and anxiousness began to tangle her nerves just a little. She watched the city move past her, and the closer they got to their destination, the faster her heart felt like it was beating. She took some long, deep breaths as the car pulled into the driveway of the biggest mansion she had ever seen in her life.
The driver helped her out of the back seat, and as she stood up and looked around, she was left speechless by what her eyes took in. She was standing in a rounded driveway that had at its center a beautifully manicured garden of hedges and roses surrounding a large marble fountain.
Before her was the edifice of a billionaire. It was the home of Phillip Cross and his son Jonathon. There was a massive double door at the top of a semicircular marble staircase that led up from the driveway.
There were wide Grecian columns all along the front of the home and their style made her think of the White House. The front of the home was filled with windows, and the second floor had a large balcony the width of the house, that overlooked the frontal grounds. She took a deep breath and walked up the steps to the front door. It was opened almost before she rang the bell, and standing before her was an older woman with a wide smile who welcomed her in.
Just as she was about to ask the woman where Jonathon was, he came striding in from a hallway that led off somewhere. He was dressed in a suit, and though the jacket only barely disguised his muscled physique, his button up shirt did little to hide the form of solid wall that was his chest. Naomi caught her breath as she glanced at him and then looked up into his eyes.
He seemed to be staring at her, almost looking straight into her as he walked toward her. When he reached her, he gently laid a hand on her shoulder and smiled at her, doing his best not to show her any of the effect she had on him. The sight of her crystal blue eyes had nearly arrested his heart when he saw her, and the vision of the curves of her form made his heart skip a few beats. Familiar heat crept through him and his groin tightened as her scent enveloped him.
She looked up at him and as their eyes met, she felt as if nothing else around her was moving or even there, as if the whole world had stopped. She blinked and drew in a breath and tried to give him a smile as she struggled to appear as though nothing was unusual with her.
He smiled back at her casually and led her outside to the garden and courtyard where the other guests were milling around, talking and visiting as they ate and drank. She felt his hand touch her lower back and with nothing more than a few fingers against the material and her body, he guided her through small groups of people toward an older man who was standing with Phillip.
The light touch of his fingers on her back drew warmth up through her belly and she did her level best to maintain her breathing and walk with a steady step. She wanted to stop walking and turn to him so she could wrap her arms around him and feel his arms around her, but that was nothing more than a daydream, and before she could stop herself from thinking further about it, they reached the two men.
Phillip smiled at her and reached for her hand to welcome her.
“Hello Naomi!” he said pleasantly. He turned to the man beside him. “Vincent, this is Naomi Bradshaw, she is Jonathon’s assistant. Naomi, I’d like you to meet Vincent Grayson. He is a business partner of mine, and my oldest and dearest friend.” Phillip nodded.
Vincent shook her hand and gave her a nod. He was tall and thin with wide cheekbones and dark eyes that time had sunk back into their sockets. His lips were thin and his eyebrows were bushy and wiry.
“It’s nice to meet you, Miss Bradshaw.” He said with a voice as thin as his body was.
She wondered if he really meant it as she let go of his bony hand and disinterested grip.
“Likewise,” she said in a soft voice.
Jonathon looked at both of the men and gave them a nod. “Well, we had better get started on our guests! Gentlemen.” He gave another nod and then turned himself and Naomi around and she felt his hand on her back as he walked them away.
“You don’t want to talk with them?” she asked in surprise. It had been the shortest meeting she could remember in a long while.
Jonathon tipped his head a little. “It was a formality. We have people to talk with.”
His close proximity to her was distracting her, and she knew that if she was going to get any work done at all, she was going to have to do it without standing right next to him and definitely without his hand on her back or her arm.
Sighing, she looked up at him again and smiled a little. “I saw Janine Turner over there when we first came in. I need to talk with her about a few things, so I’ll go do that, and you can find Anthony Bryan, if he’s here.”
He realized that she was serious about doing the business that needed to be done, and he was pleased to hear it, although he was disappointed that she didn’t want to be at his side for all of it. He nodded and as she walked away, his eyes stayed on her and he allowed himself a moment to watch her as she walked away from him, her graceful movements and feminine curves at the center of his focus. A soft moan escaped him and when it did, it startled him and he blinked and turned away from her to see if he could find Anthony.
In every minute that passed from the moment they parted, she watched him from the corner of her eye, even as she talked with others, she was hyper aware of where he went as they moved around the party. It felt as though there was some invisible magnetic connection between them that tethered them together and nothing could touch it. It seemed as though the bond held the same strength no matter how near or far they were from one another.
When he was close enough to her, she listened to his voice as he spoke, and she realized at one point that he was doing exactly the same thing. They never spoke to other people at the same time, but she saw him turn his head slightly so that he could hear her, and she saw that his eyes followed her the way that hers followed him. She noticed after a while that he never turned his back on her, and would only face just far enough away from her that he could still see her.
She wondered at his actions, curious as to why he was keeping such a close eye and ear on her, and then she realized that it was perhaps the business function and he wanted to make sure that everything was going as well as it should be with her as she spoke with their business partners. She had finished speaking with a couple of
people and bid them a good day when she heard a gentle voice at her shoulder and she turned to see Shane, Anthony’s assistant, at her shoulder.
Guilt gripped at her stomach. He smiled at her and leaned in to hug her shoulders and she touched his elbow as he did; not really hugging him back, but not ignoring his greeting. Memories of the night at the hotel came rushing into her mind and she sighed slightly.
They had met in the restaurant for dinner, but it had been immediately after her awkward moment with Jonathon in the doorway of her room, and she hadn’t wanted to see Shane at all after that. He had tried to talk with her and flirt with her all during dinner, but she was distant; her mind on nothing but Jonathon, and she had left him immediately following dinner, not wanting to spend any more time with him than she had to.
She had bid him an early goodnight and gone up to her room. They hadn’t spoken since, and she had forgotten that he would probably be at the party as well.
“Naomi! You look stunning. How are you doing?” he asked with a wide smile as he let her go from his half hug, while still standing right beside her.
She smiled and nodded. “I’m good, thank you. How are you?” She wanted to turn and walk away, but she knew that of all the people at the party that day, he was one of the two people that she probably needed to talk with the most. She and Jonathon were still trying to get Anthony to close on their business deal, and Anthony hadn’t said yes yet.
Shane, being Anthony’s assistant, had some minor pull in the issue; not as a decision maker, but as an influencer. She could not afford to walk away from him.
He shrugged. “I’m good. I wish we’d had more time together at the hotel…” his voice drifted off and his eyes and his hand lifted to the dark curls of her hair that were pinned up at the back of her head. He ran his fingers over them lightly until he reached her shoulder, where his hand stopped and he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.