by Alexis Gold
Andrea leaned back and lifted Naomi’s chin, looking into her sad blue eyes. “What do you mean there’s no way out of it for you? There’s always something that can be done.”
“No… he’s my boss and it’s my dream job. What am I going to do, quit? I’m going to leave my dream job that I worked so hard all of these years to get?” Naomi looked imploringly at her friend. “I want to work there, but I can’t now. How am I supposed to work with a man who I am in love with, who doesn’t love me back?”
“Change bosses? Work for someone else in the same kind of capacity at the same company but for another person?” Andrea suggested helpfully.
“Anyone else would be a step down. He’s the second in command there, after his father. I guess I don’t mind stepping down, but he’s still going to be there. I’m still going to run into him.” She sniffled and touched the tissue to her eyes and nose before looking back up at Andrea.
“Besides… it gets worse.”
Andrea’s eyebrows shot back up. “Worse? How could it be worse?”
Naomi closed her eyes and wondered how she was going to tell Andrea what had happened. It was bad enough that she had thought of it over and over and over again in her mind, and that every time she thought of it, her body reacted hotly and desire swept through her, but admitting it and trying to explain it to her best friend was difficult.
“I was having a hard day the last day that I was at work. I was trying to ignore him, trying to just keep it business between us, and he got too close to me and I couldn’t take it, so I ran. He chased me and I thought I could get to the elevators in time, but he made it inside the elevator with me before the door closed.
Then we were in there alone and he kept trying to talk to me, but I wouldn’t look at him, and then all of a sudden, he was holding me, wiping tears off of my face, and then before I knew what was happening, he was kissing me.” She looked away from Andrea.
Andrea’s mouth fell open again. “Oh my god, he kissed you?” her fingers closed firmly around Naomi’s hand. “Did you kiss him back?”
Naomi raised her eyes and looked at her friend. “At first I didn’t, but then… it was so… incredible. It was too much for me to say no to, and I did kiss him back.” She sighed as the memories gripped her and her body heated at the thought of it. “That man can kiss…” she breathed deeply.
“Well I bet he can, he’s had a lot of practice.” Andrea said with a side glance away from Naomi.
“No… it wasn’t like that… not, um… not technique, although he is very good at that, too, but just… the feeling of it was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. The feeling of it was amazing. It was so powerful… so strong and just overwhelming, really. I thought I was going to melt right there in his arms. I couldn’t take it.” She said sadly, looking at Andrea.
“So what did you do?” Andrea asked, looking excited about the whole part with the kiss.
Naomi shrugged. “Well, when the elevator doors opened I ran. I ran outside and grabbed a taxi and came home, and I’ve been here ever since. I shut my cell off, except to call you, so I haven’t heard from anyone. I’m too worried that he’ll call me. I don’t want to talk to him.”
Andrea frowned again and leveled her gaze at Naomi. “Honey, this isn’t high school. You can’t do that. He’s your boss; you have a job to do and it isn’t getting done while you are here hiding out at home because you wish you hadn’t fallen for him. You have got to figure something out one way or another and then do it. You either suck it up and go back to work and just deal with it, or you quit the job and get a job somewhere else, but laying here on your couch with your cat, crying about being in love with your boss is not an option. That’s not a choice. You’re going to have to do something else.”
Naomi sighed and turned her head to look out of the window. “I know… I know I have to do something. It’s just so hard to know what to do. I wish my mom was here. I wish I could tell her everything and ask her what to do.”
“Well,” Andrea said with a big breath and a soft pat on Naomi’s hand, “She can’t be here, but I am here, and I will do my best to help you through this. You get that phone turned back on, and you get back to work or you quit your job.”
Naomi nodded. “I will.”
Andrea tipped her head and rubbed her finger over her chin thoughtfully. “What did he kiss you for? In the elevator… what made him kiss you?” she asked curiously.
“I don’t know. I honestly have no idea. Maybe he felt sorry for me because I was crying. He said he didn’t want me to cry. Maybe he does know that I’m in love with him and he was just waiting for the right opportunity to plant one on me. I have no idea why he kissed me. I’m as surprised as you are.
"He hasn’t made any kind of moves toward me at all really; I mean, there have been moments between us when things were steamy or close, or when I thought that he might kiss me, but then I started thinking that those moments were all in my head and he didn’t really want me, because he’s so strong and determined, Andrea, if he wanted me, he would tell me. Nothing would hold him back. He’s not one to hold back when he wants something. It’s just my bad luck that I fell in love with someone who doesn’t want me at all.” Naomi held her hand on her forehead and closed her eyes, sighing deeply.
Andrea watched her and shook her head sorrowfully. “Well, the most important thing right now isn’t worrying about the love aspect of it. The most important thing you could do right now is get yourself straightened back out. You need to either go back to work or quit your job. Don’t worry about the being in love part, in fact, try your hardest not to focus on that. You focus on work and figuring out just exactly what you want to do about it, so that you can get on with your life. You do not need to stop right in the middle of your career path and get all tangled up around a man, especially one who doesn’t want you.
She rolled her eyes then. “Although why he doesn’t want you is beyond me. You’re smart, witty, funny, thoughtful, caring, and you are a damn fine looking woman. He’d be so lucky to have you with him, however you wanted to be with him.”
Naomi laid her head on the back of the sofa and looked out of the window as she ran her fingers through Harold’s fluffy orange hair. “It doesn’t matter how I am or what I look like, because what I am and what I look like isn’t what he wants. So you’re right, the only thing I should be focused on is work, and I knew that. I was trying to focus on work when he got too close.” She sighed and frowned a little.
“I guess I’m just going to have to figure out a way to let go of him so I can keep working there, because I don’t want to let go of my job. I want to keep working at Cross Corp. I love the company and I love what I do there. The only real problem is me; I have to figure out how to resolve my feelings for him and just let them go so I can keep working there and make it my career.” She let a deep breath out slowly and wondered how on earth she was ever going to do that.
Andrea watched her and reached a hand up to rub her arm. “You’ll figure it out. You always do. You have more drive and determination in you than I have ever seen in anyone. And I don’t think you’ve ever really failed at anything because you work so hard for everything. Just keep working hard, push him out of your heart and mind and stop letting him get under your skin, and then you’ll do really well at the job and you won’t have anything else to worry about. Now, I know that’s probably easier said than done, but just try it. Work at it. Give yourself a little space and faith, and know that you can and will come out on the other side of this. If anyone can do it, you can.”
Naomi smiled for the first time in three days. “You know what?” she asked, reaching to hug her best friend. “You’re right. I can do this. I can do anything I set my mind to. I always have, and this is just a challenge that I am going to find a way over or through, or whatever… but I’m going to beat it. I’m going to keep the career right there where I want to be working, and I am going to let go of the feelings I have for Jonathon Cross, and things are go
ing to be all business from here on out.”
Andrea squeezed her back and then pushed herself up off of the sofa and walked toward the door. “That’s my girl. I know you can do it. You just let that emotion go and you keep Jonathon Cross as an employer, and if it doesn’t hurt too much, as a friend. You can do that. I know that you can. You’re going to be alright, honey. You call me if you need anything, do you hear me?” she asked seriously. “And for heaven’s sake turn your dang cell phone back on.”
Naomi nodded and smiled. “I will. Thank you. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Andrea said with a grin, “I’ll see you soon.” She walked out of the door and Naomi sat back on the sofa and reached for her cell phone, pressing the button on the side to turn it back on. Andrea was right, she thought, she had a lot going for her, she had a lot of strength and determination, and it might be difficult, but she was able to do everything else in her life that she set her mind to.
She promised herself that she was going to make herself fall out of love with Jonathon Cross, and she was going to keep her job and make a solid career at Cross Corp. If anyone could do it, she could.
The screen on her phone lit up and she set it on the table by the sofa and ran her hand through Harold’s fur as he purred contentedly. She looked out of the window at the city around her and felt a surge of confidence. She had faith in herself and in what she could do, and that faith came from meeting every challenge that had ever been put in her path, and overcoming each one somehow, one way or another. She always overcame, and this challenge was one of the biggest, but it wasn’t insurmountable. She was determined to succeed.
Her phone rang and she looked over at it and laughed a little. She’d had it back on for little more than a minute and it was going off already. She picked it up and looked at the caller ID. She didn’t recognize the number, but there wasn’t anyone who had her number who shouldn’t have it, so she knew that she should take the call.
She slid her finger over the screen and lifted the phone to her ear.
“Hello?” she answered, wondering who it was.
A familiar voice answered her. “Naomi? It’s Jonathon Cross. I’m downstairs in your apartment building.”
Chapter6
Naomi’s heart stopped in her chest and her eyes opened wide. “Jonathon?” she spoke his name in a whisper, “You’re… you’re here at my apartment?”
“Yeah… I guess you’ve called in sick the last two days, so I brought you some chicken soup and some Chinese takeout. I didn’t know what you like, so I brought a few different things.” He answered her in a soft voice.
She felt her heart start beating again, but it began to thud against the wall of her chest. He was at her apartment. He was there, and she was trapped again. There was no way out of seeing him or having to talk about what had happened with him in the elevator.
“Naomi?” he asked hesitantly, “Would it be alright if I come up, please? The food is getting cold…” he trailed off and she closed her eyes and sighed. There was no way out of it or around it.
“Yes, of course.” She answered quietly. “Come on up. I’ll call the desk and let them know.” She ended the call and laid her head back on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling, wondering how she was going to get through a visit with him. She stayed home just so she wouldn’t have to see him, so she could work through her emotions and not have to deal with the awkwardness between them, and her avoidance technique had brought him right to her door. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply and then looked at her phone and called the front desk in the lobby to ask them to send him up.
She went to the bathroom and checked her hair and makeup, and was surprised to see that her two days at home had actually given her enough rest and relaxation so that she looked really good. She heard him knock on the door and drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and then she went to the door.
He looked worried when she pulled the door open and stepped back to let him in. She hadn’t seen him look so concerned before. His dark hair was slightly tousled and his green eyes searched hers and then swept over her body; not for any other reason than to make certain that she was alright. He stepped into her home and she looked down to see that his arms were full of food bags.
“My goodness!” she exclaimed with a shake of her head. “I’m not dying.” She laughed a little more, and it was a bit of a release for her, letting go of some of the tension and stress in her.
He shrugged. “I didn’t know how you were really doing, so I took my chances. I’m glad to hear that you aren’t too bad off. I was worried.” He told her, looking closely at her still. He handed her the bags of food and she took them quietly and walked into the kitchen, setting them on the counter.
Her nerves were jangled and humming and her mind was going a thousand miles an hour, trying to figure out how she was ever going to make it through a visit with him. Andrea’s words echoed in her mind, and she knew she would have to get through every moment he was there. Then she would have to go back to work and get through every moment of working with him every day until she could either change her job to work for someone else, or let all of her emotion go and get over him.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear him walk into the kitchen and come up right behind her. When his hand touched her shoulder, she jumped with a start and turned swiftly, looking up at him. His eyes were locked on hers and she felt the tremendous pressure between them in the very small space between their bodies.
He stared at her, and for a few moments he wanted nothing more than to kiss her again, and the urge to wrap her in his arms and press his mouth to hers was almost overpowering, but that wasn’t why he had gone to see her. It would defeat his entire purpose if he gave in to his desires. He saw her struggling with her emotions and he realized that she must be more uncomfortable than he had thought she was. He pressed his lips together and took a step back from her, giving her some space and easing the tension between them.
The effect on her was immediate, she seemed to relax and she took a deep breath, as if she had held her breath in her lungs, and he saw all of it. He knew then that he had gone much too far with her already. She filled her lungs and exhaled slowly, trying to steady herself. “What are you doing here?” she asked quietly, looking up at him in confusion. She’d never had an employer come to her home to check on her before, and after the way that they had parted, when she ran from him at the office, she couldn’t begin to understand what he was doing, standing before her in her kitchen.
He hesitated for a moment and then pushed his hands down into the depths of his pockets as he gazed at her. “I just wanted to come and check on you… you called in sick two days in a row. That just seems so unlike you, and…” he hesitated again and looked away from her, and then raised his eyes to meet hers again. “…and after what happened when I saw you last, I just wanted to make sure that you were alright, and to tell you that I’m sorry for kissing you. I never should have done that.”
She stared at him. He was apologizing to her, and it caught her completely off guard. “What?” she whispered as her heart raced and pushed blood all through her.
“I’m sorry… I guess I must have just, got caught up in the moment. You were there with me, you were upset, crying… and I just… didn’t want to see you cry. I guess I took comforting you to a place I never should have. I don’t want you to worry that it will happen again, and I don’t want you to feel badly about it.
"I don’t want anything to be awkward or different between us… and I want you back at work. I felt so bad about it after you left like you did. I haven’t been able to get it off of my mind since then, and it’s just really important to me to make it right.” He watched her eyes and tried to gauge her thoughts and emotions.
It was true, he thought to himself, he hadn’t been able to get her off of his mind at all. He’d gone over and over the moments in the elevator with her, remembering her tears, remembering the kiss he gave her, and how he hadn�
�t been able to hold it back any longer, how it had filled him with fire and passion, and how when she had kissed him back, something ignited in him that he had never felt before.
He felt more alive than he ever had, he felt like the flames of life had finally touched him and awoken him, and he felt a desire for her that he had not known could exist. He also knew that she did not want him the way that he wanted her, and that she never would. He knew that he had to respect her and he had to respect their friendship and their working relationship, and let his desires stay hidden deep within him. He knew if he was going to do anything to fix what he had done to them, he had to do it right away, and it had to be genuine.
Naomi couldn’t believe she was hearing him apologize. She felt certain that he had probably not apologized to any of the women who had worked for him, that he’d been with, and the significance of his effort and the vulnerability in which he placed himself before her was not lost on her. She didn’t know quite what to say.
Her thoughts turned in her mind like a leaf flipping and skittering along the ground and through the air. He was apologizing for kissing her. She knew then that there was nothing in him that wanted her. There was no romantic interest in him whatsoever for her, and she realized that all of her suppositions about him and his intentions with her had been wrong.
He had been trying to be her employer and her friend, and she had been misreading everything that had passed between them. Every moment, every touch, every lingering glance; all of it had only been felt by her. She felt a surge of shame flush through her. She knew that she had been a fool all over again, thinking over the prior two days that he had any interest in her whatsoever and that he had kissed her because he had been attracted to her. He wanted her for something more than what she really was to him, and that was an employee and a friend.