by Gray, A L
"I'm sorry." He whispers.
I don't know whether to answer him or not - will he get mad again?
"Okay." I squeak.
"You don’t want me Anile.”
I stare at him confused, trying to evaluate what he means. Is he trying to play mind tricks on me, by telling me I don't want something, knowing I will ultimately become desperate?
"Say something?" He says.
"If I answer you, will you get mad again?"
"No."
“How do you know what I want?”
He laughs bowing his head.
“I don't know what you want - I know what you shouldn't have. You call me Mr. fucking Darks, Anile. You don't even call me by my real name. You have no idea who or what I am. I'm no good for you.”
"Is that why you keep pushing me away?"
"Is that what you think I'm doing?" He asks soft.
His eyes are so intoxicating - I'm not quite sure I can answer him properly while I drown in his blue lagoons.
"Yes," I whisper, "one minute you are pleasing by what you do for me - you offer me a promotion, you protect me, you take me home safely. The other side of you seems to want to warn me off - you man handle me, you talk to me with such a steely tone, you even take the piss by trying to intimidate me. I'm unbelievably confused by you."
He doesn't answer me, he just stares down at me. His face is impassive - I cannot tell if he's still annoyed or tranquil. The longer I stare at him, the more head drunk I become. Alcohol makes most people feel brave, but Darks intoxication does it for me once I have overdosed on his essence.
“You cannot tell me what I want Elijah - I want what I want, not what you tell me to want.” I elongate his name.
I have mentally promised myself that is what I will call him from now on, no matter what. I'm completely stumped as to how we got here - yes I fancy him, who the hell wouldn’t? He is prepossessing, moreish and sexually compelling - all his addictive traits make me curious. The only thing I hate is his controlling issues and his double personality - but we all have our demons, whether they are control, sexual desires or addictions, we all have them.
"I'm sorry." He whispers again as he lowers his head in defeat.
He continues to hold my face between his fingers, but I now feel softness as appose to agitation - a caring emotion is radiating off of him, I find it calming.
“Anile.” He breathes, "mirror, mirror, all around. On the ceiling, on the ground. Spinning faster, round and round. Are you up or are you down? Are you down or are you up? It really doesn’t matter because when this mirror bubble bursts, everything will shatter.”
His formidable rhyme scares the shit out of me. I gasp as all the air is knocked out of me.
"What was that?" I breathe confused.
"It is what happens to us all."
Chapter Ten
"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN - 'it's what happens to us all'? I ask anxious.
He runs his controlled cold finger down my cheek, softly. He bites his lower lip with pure desperation written all over his face. It does nothing for me, I want to leave.
“Can I go please, Sir?” I almost beg. I'm shocked that I'm still standing, I feel as though I'm going to pass out any minute now.
“No, sit down Anile.”
I think to question his authority but cave on the first idea. Chicken Shit!
I duck beneath his arms and walk back to the sofa. I sink into it relieved that I have some distance from him. Why do I feel confused? I suddenly feel ill, cold and utterly mystified by his words.
He slowly glides towards me. He isn't really looking at anything, he looks in a daze and he seems as though he's in deep thought. Once he reaches me, toe to toe, I think he's going to start something again as I peer up at him worried - he doesn't. He sinks into the sofa besides me. He turns to face me. His left arm clutches the back of the sofa. He stares at me and I gaze back, questioning the situation.
He unexpectedly grabs my face with a tight grip. Fear jolts throughout my system.
"What are you doing?" I squeak. I quickly grab his hand with both of mine.
"Are you comfortable here, with me?"
I swallow hard, wondering whether to tell him the truth or not.
"I don't know."
"You must know how you feel Anile."
"I'm torn between your mystical and troubling personalities. One minute we are talking business, joking with one another, the next we are arguing - you scared the shit out of me Elijah."
"Don't be scared of me Anile, I would never hurt you."
"I'm not scared of anyone." I snap. I narrow my eyes at him - I'm trying to come across strong, because I am strong, usually.
"I could have sworn you told me that I scared you before, in your apartment - I guess I am mistaken." He smiles mischievously.
He releases my face and sits sombrely next to me - another personality is coming to surface soon, I'm sure.
Did I tell him that he scares me? I cannot even remember - holy hell, what's he doing to me?
“I'm having a party Friday," he says dour, "it's no occasion, I just throw a party once a month. I want you to accompany me. We have some important things we need to discuss Anile.” He lowers his head, rubbing his forehead.
I stare agape - I mean literally every one of my facial features are agape. Is he actually for real? He wants to party after what has just happened? Holy shit! I honestly cannot keep up with him. I consciously know I should back away from him, he really is broken mentally. You can say that again! It's like cruel intentions - he desires the game, but he consciously knows what he needs rather than what he wants.
"Elijah, what just happened?" I whisper.
He looks up at me too quickly, his expression is glassy. I buck backwards into the sofa, worried he's going into Bastard mode again.
"You confuse me." He whispers.
"I confuse you?" I practically shout.
He nods slowly. His eyes seem to saunter closer to me, edging their way through the atmosphere.
"How on earth can I confuse the likes of you?"
"Anile, you are so closed off - I cannot ever tell what you are thinking, feeling, or even what you want to say."
"I think you are talking about yourself." I scoff.
"Maybe we are consciously, one." He says. He smiles with a weak defeated expression.
What a strange phrase to use, 'we are one'.
“Why Friday - why can't we discuss things now?”
“You need time to process today. Just know that I practice in control Anile, and not just in the way you assume. I have particular tastes and issues that do not always balance one another. Google me, see what is.”
My face turns puce. My embarrassed smile's breaking through.
“I have Googled your name.” I confess.
His eyebrows shoot up in amusement. His smile almost reaches his eyes. Thank the lord!
“You need to search the right questions Anile. Do not just Google my name. If you still want to pursue, us, text me on this number and I'll pick you up Friday at eight. “
He takes a business card out of his inside jacket pocket. He passes it to me, holding it between his index finger and his middle finger.
“I have your number.” I say confused.
“Not my private number you don't. Only family has this. That was my business mobile I texted you off of. And there was no number, it was unknown.”
I take his business card, sort of exhilarated - I cannot believe I now have his personal mobile number! Result!
Okay, now things have cooled down somewhat, I should try to get some answers.
“I still have questions Elijah."
"We can discuss them Friday."
"No, I want to discuss them now," I say firm, "I cannot Google them like I can Google you, and I cannot wait until Friday." I confess childishly.
He seems as though he's getting comfy. He rests his elbow on the arm of the sofa. His other arm is resting behind the sofa's back.
"Fire away Princess."
Oh my God! I almost slap my own face to insure I haven't just imagined the last hour. How can he be so at ease after what has just happened? I'm hanging on the edge of my seat, LITERALLY!
"I want to know why you checked into my life so deeply; I want to know why I have to sign an NDA; and I want to know why you have taken this Mr. Allen case. Please, I need answers.”
He leans towards me. He gently places his hand above mine - the fire that rushes throughout my body from his touch is thrilling. I was gripping the sofa so acutely - I didn't even realize I was doing so.
“Do you know how hard you make me when you ask me ‘please’?” He asks, looking at me with a dark unreadable expression.
Fuck, what do I say to that? His word ‘hard’ has penetrated my mind, wounded me in the right way, forming a full eclipse over my eyes as I submerge into darkness.
“I erm, I…” I mutter - words have officially failed me.
He half smiles at my not so elegantly returned gesture. He releases my hand - the instant longing for his touch hits me like a ton of bricks. He gets to his feet and tugs at his jacket, straightening it out so formally. He runs his hands through his long locks, forcing his hair into submission. Hmmm, using both hands to control his appearance, this cannot be good!
"An NDA is not a huge obligation Anile, everyone in this building has signed one; yours has just been modified, somewhat. People who are sceptical regarding NDA's tend to over think things. I own the largest and most powerful law firm in the world; I have secrets that I do not want the media to have access to - so of course I would have my employees sign an NDA. If I didn't, I would seem reckless and moronic."
He does have a point. maybe I really am just over thinking it.
He saunters over to his desk and seats himself on the hard surface like a lion atop of his pride, smiling at his challenger. His hands are placed neatly in his lap. He's clutching at a controller - I think. Music suddenly fills the room. It makes me quiver. Sweet jazz, Otis Redding - A Change Is Gonna Come. It sends carnal vibes coursing throughout my body. I mentally come alive as desire pools around in my tummy.
"Do you like this kind of music Anile?"
I swore to myself that I wouldn't tell him how I love jazz! Nooo!
"I absolutely love jazz music Elijah, you would never understand how it effects me." I smile and blush in sync.
I bow my head desperately trying to digest everything. This is so fucked up - one minute we are practically shouting at one another, and now, we are listening to sensual music! I steal a quick glance, taking note of his expression. He looks so beautiful, so, so beautiful, sitting upon his desk, looking powerful and alluring with his dangerously deep blue eyes penetrating me mentally.
"You look so pretty when you smile - that's the only time I ever see you without a haunted expression - when you smile."
What does he mean? 'A haunted expression'.
"I don't understand what you mean."
"You look so young and innocent on first appearances, but when I take note of your eyes, you have a sadness in them. Something haunts you emotionally, and I think that sadness is buried deep inside you - I can see it in your eyes all the time Anile."
"Oh." Is all I manage - how does he do that?
“Dance with me Anile.” He insists as he gets to his feet. He holds his hand out, gently urging my position.
“Why?" I gasp.
I'm going to pass out due to my dizziness! I cannot keep up with him.
"Because I want you to."
"It's the middle of the day, and we are at work.”
“So because it's unexpected, does that mean we shouldn’t do it? Should I write a law stating - people that are attracted to one another are allowed to dance throughout the day at work?” He jokes.
His words echo throughout my mind, ‘people who are attracted to one another'. I smile with glee. I get to my feet and try desperately to exude confidence. I'm a killer dancer, maybe I can finally show him a thing or two. Yeah, not likely!
He slowly saunters towards me, in beat of the music with one hand in his silver grey jacket pocket. He comes flush against me, peering down at me. He takes my left arm, gently. His touch is deadly alluring. He pulls me close to his chest. I hear him inhale deeply - I mirror his action, smelling his intoxicating spicy scent - hmmm. He releases the breath he was holding and moans loudly.
"Hmmm."
I love how I affect him when he reacts to me like this. I cannot help but smile like a Cheshire cat.
“Follow my pace Anile." He whispers against my neck.
I follow him. I allow him to take the lead. We glide around his office in broad daylight, slowly, seductively, sensually. His hand his tightly gripping my waist, allowing a pinching sensation to constantly caress my insides. He pulls me to his pace, he never lets me lead. We reach his vividly colossal window. London looks small as I peer down from Elijah's masterly grand office.
“You know Anile, I haven’t danced with any woman except my mother.” He confesses.
I look up at him shocked.
"Not even on your wedding day?"
"Not even on my wedding day." He says.
I have no idea what else to say - again, words literally fail me. I lean my head into him. I hear his breath suddenly hitch, like he can no longer breathe - what's wrong with him? I try to back away, I don’t want to scare him off, but as my head retracts, his hand is lightly cupping me, gently forcing me back to position. I rest on his hard masculine chest, indulging in every inch of him. He makes me feel so... exhilarated and special.
“Will you come Friday?” He whispers gently into my ear.
"I think asking me to cum is a little extreme." I joke, finally getting my sexual vocabulary; it must be the Darks intoxication.
"Extreme is my middle name - one day you will see why." He laughs at his own witticism.
I shake my head at his tongue-in-cheek tone.
“Yes Elijah, I will come.”
The music slowly drains into the background on repeat. He stops, still holding me though, and finally breathes.
“You should go home Anile.”
Whoa.
“I have to work, it's only around three o’clock.” I say worried as I pull back from him.
“Work is done for today, let me take you home.”
Does he want to get rid of me? Fuck it, I'm going all out - today cannot go any worse than it almost went earlier.
“Do you want me to leave?” I ask firm.
He hunches his neck to look down at me. He narrows his eyes.
“If I had my own way, you would be taped to me. I would possess every inch of you. I have no idea what the hell you have done to me, but I cannot get enough of you, and I haven’t laid a damn finger on you - yet!”
Holy shit! I smile, I blush, I start to sweat - his words affect me so deeply. I quickly look away because I suddenly feel nervous again.
"You seem as though you want to take the piss out of me most of the time - but your words tell me different." I say.
“Please don’t look away from me Anile, you have such a beautiful innocent face, I enjoy watching you.”
I peer back at him. We connect to one another, our energies connect, I can feel it! I want to kiss him so badly. When this emotion takes over me, I frown unknowingly.
“Why do you look sad?” He asks as he cups my chin.
“I'm fine Elijah.” I say.
I lean forward, pouting, desperate to feel his lips against mine. He bows his head and leans against my forehead sighing.
"What's wrong Elijah?"
He breathes, for longer than normal - something bad is going to come from his lips, I know it.
“I cannot kiss you Anile.” He confesses with a broken voice.
What the hell? My heart sinks into the deepest depths of me. I feel deflated and embarrassed. I try to move out from is arms but he insists.
“Don’t bolt Anile. Please just bear with me, please.” He begs
.
“Why won't you kiss me?” I ask a little too childishly.
He looks me dead in the eye. I see something - pain, sadness, I don’t know, but what I do know is, there is more to him than meets the eye.
"Anile, I..." He says but he doesn't finish.
His eyes are hooded, his lips are trembling. A sudden sense of desperation washes over me - I'm desperate to take his pain away from him, his pain that I know nothing of. I can feel something's wrong with him and I want to make it stop. You don't need to know everything about someone to care for them.
“It's okay Elijah, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
He smiles warmly while looking down at me. He lifts his left hand, slowly. I watch his movement with curiosity while he eyes me.
"Can I touch you?" He asks.
I frown at his request to touch me; it's the oddest question anyone has ever asked me.
"Yes." I breathe.
He gently touches my cheek with his index finger. He holds it in place for only a few seconds before he starts trailing soft strokes down my face. He reaches my chin and sensually slides his finger across my face to my lower lip, leaving a trail of sensitivity where his touch lingers. He slowly slides his finger across my lower lip - back and forth, back and forth - his eyes follow his movement, they are ablaze with excitement - he looks as though he's intoxicated for once!
This feels so damn erotic; I feel my arousal coming for me, soaking my panties as he teases me. A pinching sensation suddenly tugs inside me - I feel things I never knew I could - down there! I suddenly become a limp mess, almost falling into him. He snakes his arm around my waist, pulling me flush against him. I'm just inches away from his seductive face.
"You are one sexually powerful woman. I need to fuck every part of you, Anile."
He continues touching my face, all the while I lose myself.
"I am going to finger fuck your mouth, now." He whispers. His warm breath caresses my cheek.
What does finger fuck mean?
My lips are closed, but he eventually forces himself inside my mouth. I let him indulge in his little desire without argument - I want this too, maybe even more than him.
"Oh fuck." He moans.