by Elle Thorpe
He scoffed. “Never met the guy. My dad is a piece of shit. Money doesn’t make you a good person. Quite the opposite, in fact, if you ask me. He took off the moment my mother told him she was pregnant. Got a job on the other side of the world, denying he was my father.”
My heart broke for Liam. I hated my dad, too, but at least he’d never denied that he was my father in the first place. That was a different sort of betrayal altogether.
“So how did you come to live with your grandparents?”
Liam’s fingers found the hem of my shirt and slipped beneath it, his warm palm flattening against the small of my back. He stroked tiny patterns there with the tips of his fingers. “My grandfather is a better man than his son. He sent my mom money when I was little. And he visited sometimes. When my mom told him about how well I was doing in school, he started taking an even bigger interest. My grandfather values intelligence above all else. My father was a disappointment to him, and I think he saw me as a second chance to get it right.”
“So he paid for your schooling?”
Liam nodded. “Yes. Pulled me from the public school and put me in at Edgely Academy.”
There was something I wasn’t understanding, though. “Your mom wasn’t happy about that, though? Edgely is a great school. Ranked one of the highest in the state. I would have thought she would be happy for you?”
Something clouded Liam’s bright-blue gaze. “She was happy for me to get a good education. She cried happy tears the day my grandfather turned up on our porch and declared he was going to send me to Edgely. He’d already bought me a uniform and everything. I just remember her hugging him, and then hugging me, and her tears of happiness soaking through my T-shirt. She’d whispered in my ear about this being my big break, and how this would change my life.”
“Sounds like it did…”
“Yeah. It changed it, but I’m still not sure if it was for the better. I moved in with my grandfather, so I would be close to school. That house was insane. My mother’s entire house could have fit in the foyer alone. A foyer! Who the hell needs a foyer anyway? What’s the purpose, apart from looking grand and letting people know how much money you have? It’s a complete and utter waste of space and money.”
I had to agree. But I didn’t want to interrupt him. “How did that turn into your mother and brother not speaking to you, then?”
His gaze flickered to the ceiling, and his head dropped back on his shoulders. “Because I was a dickhead. I let it all go to my head. I started believing the crap they were filling my head with at school. That Edgely men were made for greatness. And there was more of that at home, as my grandfather tried to mold me in his own footsteps. He’d failed with my father, so he doubled down with me, making sure I excelled. I was his chance for redemption, you know? He’d lost face with my dad being a bit of a wild child. But I was the model student. Top of the class. Star baseball player. Ivy League college-bound.”
He paused and finally looked down at me with glassy eyes. “All the potential in the fucking world and at the same time, completely ashamed of where I came from. Of who I came from. I stopped telling my mom when school functions were because I was embarrassed. The other kids’ moms were trophy wives, perfectly polished and scrubbed in their designer suits. And my mom’s shoes had holes in them. With me moving in with my grandfather, he stopped giving her money. I didn’t really put it all together at the time, but now…” He sighed heavily. “The wedge just grew deeper and deeper between me and them. Hayden started going down the wrong path, and my mom tried to get me to step in and be a role model for him. But by then I was sixteen, and I had a flashy new car and was busy using it to pick up girls. I didn’t want my thirteen-year-old brother cramping my style. And so I started ignoring her calls. I’d groan when her number would show up on my phone and pretend, even to myself, that I was too busy to take the call. Or that I’d call her back later. I never did.”
My heart ached for him. The level of disgust and shame he’d bestowed on himself was thick. Anyone could see that. His words dripped with regret and longing. A longing to change the past. Though none of us could do that. I knew that just as well as anyone. “You were sixteen, Liam. Sixteen-year-old boys are dumb. And selfish. And self-absorbed.”
“I was embarrassed by them.”
I shook my head. “You were trying to fit in.”
“Yeah. But in trying to fit in, I pushed them away. I told my mom I needed space, and that I couldn’t constantly be worrying about her, and what she and Hayden were doing. I had a head full of exams, college applications, parties, girls, sports, and friends, and I was constantly trying to impress my grandfather. He wanted me to be a lawyer, like him. And I wanted it, too. I’m good at this job, Mae. Really good. But I let wanting this life consume the one I had. I let it swallow me up and spit me back out a completely different person. One who came from money and had every opportunity right there at his fingertips. I was not longer Liam Whitling. I was Liam Banks. And sometimes…”
My heart broke for him. For the decisions he’d made as a boy, and how they affected him now as a man. For his mother and her hurt. For the little brother he’d left behind, not given the same opportunities because of nothing more than circumstance. I trailed my fingers down the sides of his face. “Sometimes what?”
“Sometimes I don’t even want to be him. Sometimes I just want to go back to being Liam Whitling. The boy who had nothing but his mother and brother. That kid was happy, you know? Before his greed got the better of him and he forgot where he came from.”
I pressed up onto my toes and kissed his lips softly. “You’re incredibly hard on yourself, you know? Sixteen-year-old boys make bad decisions all the time. Your mom could have kept trying.”
But he shook his head. “It isn’t her fault. She was just doing what I asked.”
“Maybe so. But what’s her excuse for staying away now?”
“She hates me.”
“She doesn’t. No mother hates her child.” Or so I’d been led to believe, anyway. I had no experience with a mother figure myself. Unless Jayela counted. But she’d only been a few years older than me and had never been much of the warm and snuggly kind of person.
“I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve been sending her checks for years, but every single one of them has gone uncashed. I know she gets them. I started driving over there every week and putting them beneath her door just so I could be sure. But still the money sits in my bank account.” He threw up his hands. “I don’t need all this fucking money. You saw her, Mae! She is eating in a homeless shelter. Why won’t she cash the checks? There’s more than enough money there to buy food, clothes. She wouldn’t have to work as hard as she does.”
I squinted at him. “Maybe what she needs from you isn’t money.”
“Then what?”
I trailed my hand down his chest, rubbing soothing circles over it as I went. “Maybe she just wants your time.”
“Then why does she run away every time I do see her?” He grew more and more agitated with every word. He pulled away from me and paced down the short hall. There were no other doors on this level. He owned the entire top floor. “Why doesn’t she just stay and let me explain? Let me apologize?”
He caught himself in the middle of the hall. His gaze locked with mine. “Shit. I’m sorry. You don’t need me dumping all of this on you after everything you’ve been through. Fuck. I must sound like that poor little rich boy, right?”
I closed the distance between us, wrapping my arm around him and resting my head against his chest. “No. You sound like a man who made a mistake and wants to make up for it. You sound like a man who misses his family. I know what that feels like.” Because I had no one either. I didn’t talk to my father, and unlike Liam, I had no desire to. I just wanted my sister back. She was all I’d ever wanted in a family. But now I had no one.
I leaned back and stared up at him.
He dropped his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. Mine drifted shut as
well, and we stood there like that, in the middle of the hallway, our breaths mingling, while we both drowned in our feelings. “I don’t want to be sad all the time,” I whispered.
“Me neither.”
His mouth found mine, slow and steady. There was no heat or urgency in his kiss. It was full of heartbreaking sadness that called to the darkness inside me. It called to the heartache I’d buried deep, just so I could function. But his pain urged mine to the surface. And I clung to him like he was a lifeboat in a thrashing ocean.
He held me the same way. His strong arms circled me, crushing me to his chest, his palms flat on my back and holding me close.
“It’s all I think about when I’m alone,” I admitted to him. “I think about the way she died. It’s my fault.”
“It’s no more your fault than it is mine. You can’t think like that.”
“But I do,” I said sadly. “I do. I don’t know how to stop. It’s easier to just throw everything into getting Heath out of jail. Into kissing you. Into arguing with Rowe. Everything is just easier when the three of you are around to keep me occupied. When I’m alone, all I do is think.”
Liam kissed me again, and I melted into his touch. He knew what I needed. And I knew what he needed. Our touches grew faster, harder. Within minutes we went from soft and sad, to fast and frantic. I fumbled with the drawstring on his sweatpants, loosening it enough to get my hands down the front. He wasn’t wearing underwear, and I took his cock in one hand and his balls on the other.
He let out a hiss. “Mae…”
I stroked him beneath his pants, and he grew beneath my touch. “Please, Liam. I want to touch you.”
“We’re in the hallway.”
“And the other day we were in an alleyway. I can’t help when I want you.” I dropped to my knees and dragged his sweatpants down his muscular thighs. At least this time there was no chance of being caught. There was no reason for anyone to come up to this floor but us.
He groaned and brushed the hair back off my face. “Mae… What are you doing?”
“Getting you hard?”
It was enough to lighten the mood. And I was grateful for it. Because there was only so much heartache I could handle. And I was pretty sure Liam and I had both reached our max capacity.
He chuckled. “Well, you’re doing a good job of it.”
I grinned up at him, my mouth hovering mere inches from the blunt head of his dick. “I’ll take that compliment.”
“Should I give you some more?”
I teased him, letting the tip of him brush over my lips. “Sure. Everybody likes a compliment.”
“You’ve never looked more sexy than you do right now. With my cock at your lips, and your hand wrapped around it. It’s taking everything in my power to hold back.”
I let my tongue dart out and taste him.
He hissed, and my taste buds yelped in joy at his arousal.
His hand dropped to the back of my head, his fingers stroking through my hair, pushing it back off my face. “You’re making it really difficult to just stand here, Mae. I want to… Fuck.”
God, he was so hard. Liam with a full erection was the hottest thing I’d ever seen. His dick was big and thick, and his abs flexed beneath my touch. I gazed up at him, watching the flare of heat in his eyes. His fingers clenched into fists at his sides. His entire body tensed. He wasn’t joking when he said he was struggling to hold back. But something deep inside me didn’t want him to. He was battling that urge to dominate, struggling with a control I’d taken from him. And maybe I was willing to give some of it back.
“You want to what? Tell me.”
His breath hitched. “You don’t want to know.”
“Try me.”
He swallowed hard. “Open your mouth.”
A surge of heat flared between my thighs. I let my lips part.
He dropped one hand to the back of my head, wrapping the length of my ponytail around his fingers. My breath quickened as he twisted it, a slight tugging sensation prickling at my scalp pleasantly. He tugged it down, so my chin and lifted. “I want to feel your mouth on me, Mae. I want to feel your tongue slide along the ridges, and the head…”
“What else? Tell me,” I urged. I discreetly pressed my thighs together, trying to find relief for the aching need growing at my core. I just wanted him to keep talking. Keep telling me what to do. I had no idea why I liked it so much. I’d never been like this with anybody else.
He tugged my hair a little harder. “You really want to know?”
I nodded.
“I want to thrust deep into your mouth, I want to feel it hit the back of your throat. But I don’t want you doing anything you don’t want to do. So the ball’s in your court. I’m going to stand here and not move. No matter what it takes.” He let go of my hair and pressed his palms to the wall behind him, his forearm shaking with the effort.
Just like that, I was suddenly determined to make him move. To make him lose control. And so I opened my mouth and gave him what he wanted. I wrapped my lips around the tip of him and let my tongue glide beneath. He was velvet over steel, pleasantly warm, and by far the biggest man I’d ever had there. I started soft and slow, working just the head of him inside my mouth and then pulling away only to repeat the process. True to his word, Liam didn’t move his hips. But his head dropped back against the wall, and his eyes closed, his bliss etched into his expression
He’d been wanting this. I could tell without him even saying a word. He’d gotten me off multiple times and never even let me touch him once. And yet now, as I worked him in and out of my mouth, taking him deeper with every bob of my head, he was finally surrendering. Minute by minute, tiny pieces of his control ebbed away, until I was taking him deep into the back of my throat and loving every second of it. Every minute that passed only made me want him more. I wanted his hands in my hair. I wanted him to pull it like he had earlier. I wanted to make his hips jerk. I wanted him thrusting into my mouth when he came.
“Mae,” he groaned.
My core gave a steady thump of excitement. This was it. The moment he completely came undone. I gazed up at him, his dick still deep in my mouth.
His gaze burned. “Put your hand up the front of your skirt,” he directed. “Into your panties.”
My eyes flared, and arousal built low inside me. I moved away from him so I could speak. Heat blushed my cheeks. “I’ve never…”
His gaze turned incredulous. “You’ve never touched yourself?”
I shook my head. “No. I have. Just never…”
“Never with someone watching you?”
Yes. That. Exactly that.
I didn’t have to answer. The look on my face must have told him everything. “I want to watch you touch yourself, Mae. My dick in your mouth, and your hand in your panties. Fuck!”
Precum beaded on the head of his cock. I licked it away quickly, delighting in what I was doing to him. What we were doing together. The need building inside me was so intense, I needed the relief. And so I did what he said. I wrapped my lips around his cock, sucking him deep into my throat once more, and pushed my free hand beneath my skirt and between my thighs.
I held Liam’s gaze as my fingertip touched my clit. I moaned around the thick length of him, rubbing little circles over myself in just the way I liked.
Liam’s breaths grew ragged, and to my delight, his hips jacked off the wall, thrusting shallowly into me.
So when he jerked out of my mouth completely, surprise punched through me. I glanced up at him. “What’s wrong?”
He was breathing hard. His gorgeous, solid chest heaving with the strain. He stared down at me. “No. I want more. I want everything.”
In one fast move, he had me up off the floor and slung over his shoulder. I squealed in surprise as I hung down his back, then laughed when he had to waddle through his apartment door with his pants around his ankles.
“Shit,” he swore, kicking the door closed behind us. “I did not think this through
. It was hot in my head.”
“I have a perfect view of your ass from back here. It was a good idea, trust me.” I wasn’t lying. Liam’s bare ass was a thing of beauty. I wondered how many squats the guy had to do to get that sort of muscle tone. Probably more per day than I’d done in a lifetime.
He threw me down on his bed, a little cloud of soft mattress, fluffy pillows, and pure-white sheets. I’d barely had time to bounce before he was ripping off my skirt and panties and stepping out of his sweatpants. When I was naked from the waist down, he stood back. “Show me.”
I knew what he meant. Quickly, I unbuttoned my shirt and let it fall away to expose my bra. It did up at the back, but I was too impatient to sit up and peel them off. And so I just flipped the cups down and took one breast in my hand, pinching my nipple into a taut peak. The other hand dipped between my legs once more and picked up the rhythm I’d started on my clit in the hallway.
Liam’s groan of ecstasy was everything. “Don’t stop.”
I couldn’t now, even if I’d wanted to. He had his hand wrapped around his cock, pumping it slowly while he watched me. In unison we worked ourselves harder and faster, until my moans matched his.
“Liam,” I groaned, nearing the edge. But it wasn’t enough for me to work my clit alone.
Liam seemed to come to the same conclusion. He reached for his bedside table, opening the top drawer, and pulled out a condom. He made short work of rolling it over himself, and then he was between my legs, hovering over me and pushing them wide.
He notched himself at my entrance, the tip of him sliding through the wetness easily, and my thighs trembling with the need to have him inside me. I worked my clit harder, but it wasn’t enough to get me over the edge. “I need you,” I whispered.
“I need you, too,” he replied. He paused for a moment, and in the silence between us, there were words unsaid. Silent thoughts that made me think that maybe he needed me for more than just a release.
I wasn’t ready to go there. Not yet. We’d come a long way in such a tiny space of time, but for now, I couldn’t process those feelings. They were too big. Too all consuming. Too difficult to reconcile with other feelings that wrapped themselves around my heart.