‘The best counsel for all of us is,’ remarked the hangman, ‘that, as soon as we have finished the last drop of liquor, I help you, my three friends, to a comfortable end upon the nearest tree, and then hang myself on the same bough. This is no world for us any longer.’
‘Poh, poh, my good fellows!’ said a dark-complexioned personage, who now joined the group—his complexion was indeed fearfully dark, and his eyes glowed with a redder light than that of the bonfire; ‘be not so cast down, my dear friends; you shall see good days yet. There’s one thing that these wiseacres have forgotten to throw into the fire, and without which all the rest of the conflagration is just nothing at all; yes, though they had burned the earth itself to a cinder.’
‘And what may that be?’ eagerly demanded the last murderer.
‘What but the human heart itself?’ said the dark-visaged stranger with a portentous grin. ‘And, unless they hit upon some method of purifying that foul cavern, forth from it will reissue all the shapes of wrong and misery—the same old shapes or worse ones—which they have taken such a vast deal of trouble to consume to ashes. I have stood by this livelong night and laughed in my sleeve at the whole business. Oh, take my word for it, it will be the old world yet!’
This brief conversation supplied me with a theme for lengthened thought. How sad a truth, if true it were, that man’s agelong endeavour for perfection had served only to render him the mockery of the evil principle, from the fatal circumstance of an error at the very root of the matter! The heart, the heart—there was the little yet boundless sphere wherein existed the original wrong of which the crime and misery of this outward world were merely types. Purify that inward sphere, and the many shapes of evil that haunt the outward, and which now seem almost our only realities, will turn to shadowy phantoms and vanish of their own accord; but if we go no deeper than the intellect, and strive, with merely that feeble instrument, to discern and rectify what is wrong, our whole accomplishment will be a dream, so unsubstantial that it matters little whether the bonfire, which I have so faithfully described, were what we choose to call a real event and a flame that would scorch the finger, or only a phosphoric radiance and a parable of my own brain.
Ending for a Ghost Story
I.A. Ireland, English savant born in Hanley in 1871. He claimed descent from the infamous impostor William H. Ireland, who had invented an ancestor, Wiliam Henrye Irlaunde, to whom Shakespeare had allegedly bequeathed his manuscripts. He published A Brief History of Nightmares (1899), Spanish Literature (1911), The Tenth Book of Annals of Tacitus, newly done into English (1911).
‘How eerie!’ said the girl, advancing cautiously. And what a heavy door!’ She touched it as she spoke and it suddenly swung to with a click.
‘Good Lord!’ said the man, ‘I don’t believe there’s a handle inside. Why, you’ve locked us both in!’
‘Not both of us. Only one of us,’ said the girl, and before his eyes she passed straight through the door, and vanished.
The Monkey’s Paw
W. W. Jacobs, English humorist and prolific short-story writer, born in 1843, died in 1943. His works include Many Cargoes (1896), The Skipper’s Wooing (1911) and Sea Whispers (1926).
I
‘Without, the night was cold and wet, but in the small parlour of Laburnum Villa the blinds were drawn and the fire burned brightly. Father and son were at chess; the former, who possessed ideas about the game involving radical changes, putting his king into such sharp and unnecessary perils that it even provoked comment from the white-haired old lady knitting placidly by the fire.
‘Hark at the wind’, said Mr White, who, having seen a fatal mistake after it was too late, was amiably desirous of preventing his son from seeing it.
‘I’m listening,’ said the latter, grimly surveying the board as he stretched out his hand. ‘Check.’
‘I should hardly think that he’d come tonight,’ said his father, with his hand poised over the board.
‘Mate,’ replied the son.
‘That’s the worst of living so far out,’ bawled Mr White, with sudden and unlooked-for violence; ‘of all the beastly, slushy, out-of-the-way places to live in, this is the worst. Path’s a bog, and the road’s a torrent. I don’t know what people are thinking about. I suppose because only two houses in the road are let, they think it doesn’t matter.’
‘Never mind, dear,’ said his wife soothingly; ‘perhaps you’ll win the next one.’
Mr White looked up sharply, just in time to intercept a knowing glance between mother and son. The words died away on his lips, and he hid a guilty grin in his thin grey beard.
‘There he is,’ said Herbert White, as the gate banged to loudly and heavy footsteps came towards the door.
The old man rose with hospitable haste, and opening the door, was heard condoling with the new arrival. The new arrival also condoled with himself, so that Mrs White said, ‘Tut, tut!’ and coughed gently as her husband entered the room, followed by a tall, burly man, beady of eye and rubicund of visage.
‘Sergeant-Major Morris,’ he said, introducing him.
‘The sergeant-major shook hands, and taking the proffered seat by the fire, watched contentedly while his host got out whisky and tumblers and stood a small copper kettle on the fire.
At the third glass his eyes got brighter, and he began to talk, the little family circle regarding with eager interest this visitor from distant parts, as he squared his broad shoulders in the chair and spoke of wild scenes and doughty deeds; of wars and plagues and strange peoples.
‘Twenty-one years of it,’ said Mr White, nodding at his wife and son.‘When he went away he was a slip of a youth in the warehouse. Now look at him.’
‘He don’t look to have taken much harm,’ said Mrs White politely.
‘I’d like to go to India myself,’ said the old man, ‘just to look round a bit, you know.’
‘Better where you are,’ said the sergeant-major, shaking his head. He put down the empty glass, and sighing softly, shook it again.
‘I should like to see those old temples and fakirs and jugglers,’ said the old man. ‘What was that you started telling me the other day about a monkey’s paw or something, Morris?’
‘Nothing,’ said the soldier hastily. ‘Leastways nothing worth hearing.’
‘Monkey’s paw?’ said Mrs White curiously.
‘Well, it’s just a bit of what you might call magic, perhaps,’ said the sergeant-major offhandedly.
His three listeners leaned forward eagerly. The visitor absentmindedly put his empty glass to his lips and then set it down again. His host filled it for him.
‘To look at,’ said the sergeant-major, fumbling in his pocket, ‘it’s just an ordinary little paw, dried to a mummy.’
He took something out of his pocket and proffered it. Mrs White drew back with a grimace, but her son, taking it, examined it curiously.
‘And what is there special about it?’ inquired Mr White as he took it from his son, and having examined it, placed it upon the table.
‘It had a spell put on it by an old fakir,’ said the sergeant-major, ‘a very holy man. He wanted to show that fate ruled people’s lives, and that those who interfered with it did so to their sorrow. He put a spell on it so that three separate men could each have three wishes from it.’
His manner was so impressive that his hearers were conscious that their light laughter jarred somewhat.
‘Well, why don’t you have three, sir?’ said Herbert White cleverly.
The soldier regarded him in the way that middle age is wont to regard presumptuous youth. ‘I have,’ he said quietly, and his blotchy face whitened.
‘And did you really have the three wishes granted?’ asked Mrs White.
‘I did,’ said the sergeant-major, and his glass tapped against his strong teeth.
‘And has anybody else wished?’ persisted the old lady.
‘The first man had his three wishes. Yes,’ was the reply; ‘I don’t know what the
first two were, but the third was for death. That’s how I got the paw.’
His tones were so grave that a hush fell upon the group.
‘If you’ve had your three wishes, it’s no good to you now, then, Morris,’ said the old man at last. ‘What do you keep it for?’
The soldier shook his head. ‘Fancy, I suppose,’ he said slowly. ‘I did have some idea of selling it, but I don’t think I will. It has caused enough mischief already. Besides, people won’t buy. They think it’s a fairy tale, some of them; and those who do think anything of it want to try if first and pay me afterward.’
‘If you could have another three wishes,’ said the old man, eyeing him keenly, ‘would you have them?’
‘I don’t know,’ said the other. ‘I don’t know.’
He took the paw, and dangling it between his forefinger and thumb, suddenly threw it upon the fire. White, with a slight cry, stooped down and snatched it off.
‘Better let it burn,’ said the soldier solemnly.
‘If you don’t want it, Morris,’ said the other, ‘give it to me.’
‘I won’t,’ said his friend doggedly. ‘I threw it on the fire. If you keep it, don’t blame me for what happens. Pitch it on the fire again like a sensible man.’
The other shook his head and examined his new possession closely. ‘How do you do it?’ he inquired.
‘Hold it up in your right hand and wish aloud,’ said the sergeant-major, ‘but I warn you of the consequences.’
‘Sounds like the Arabian Nights,’ said Mrs White, as she rose and began to set the supper. ‘Don’t you think you might wish for four pairs of hands for me.’
Her husband drew the talisman from his pocket, and then all three burst into laughter as the sergeant-major, with a look of alarm on his face, caught him by the arm.
‘If you must wish,’ he said gruffly, ‘wish for something sensible.’
Mr White dropped it back in his pocket, and placing chairs, motioned his friend to the table. In the business of supper the talisman was partly forgotten, and afterward the three sat listening in an enthralled fashion to a second instalment of the soldier’s adventures in India.
‘If the tale about the monkey’s paw is not more truthful than those he has been telling us,’ said Herbert, as the door closed behind their guest, just in time to catch the last train, ‘we shan’t make much out of it.’
‘Did you give him anything for it, father?’ inquired Mrs White, regarding her husband closely.
‘A trifle,’ said he, colouring slightly. ‘He didn’t want it, but I made him take it. And he pressed me again to throw it away.’
‘Likely,’ said Herbert, with pretended horror. ‘Why, we’re going to be rich, and famous, and happy. Wish to be an emperor, father, to begin with; then you can’t be henpecked.’
He darted round the table, pursued by the maligned Mrs White armed with an antimacassar.
Mr White took the paw from his pocket and eyed it dubiously. ‘I don’t know what to wish for, and that’s a fact,’ he said slowly. ‘It seems to me I’ve got all I want.’
‘If you only cleared the house, you’d be quite happy, wouldn’t you!’ said Herbert, with his hand on his shoulder. ‘Well, wish for two hundred pounds, then; that’ll just do it.’
His father, smiling shamefacedly at his own credulity, held up the talisman, as his son, with a solemn face, somewhat marred by a wink at his mother, sat down at the piano and struck a few impressive chords.
‘I wish for two hundred pounds,’ said the old man distinctly.
A fine crash from the piano greeted the words, interrupted by a shuddering cry from the old man. His wife and son ran towards him.
‘It moved,’ he cried, with a glance of disgust at the object as it lay on the floor. ‘As I wished, it twisted in my hand like a snake.’
‘Well, I don’t see the money,’ said his son, as he picked it up and placed it on the table, ‘and I bet I never shall.’
‘It must have been your fancy, father,’ said his wife, regarding him anxiously.
He shook his head. ‘Never mind, though; there’s no harm done, but it gave me a shock all the same.’
They sat down by the fire again while the two men finished their pipes. Outside, the wind was higher than ever, and the old man started nervously at the sound of a door banging upstairs. A silence unusual and depressing settled upon all three, which lasted until the old couple rose to retire for the night.
‘I expect you’ll find the cash tied up in a big bag in the middle of your bed,’ said Herbert, as he bade them good night, ‘and something horrible squatting up on top of the wardrobe watching you as you pocket you ill-gotten gains.’
He sat alone in the darkness, gazing at the dying fire, and seeing faces in it. The last face was so horrible and so simian that he gazed at it in amazement. It got so vivid that, with a little uneasy laugh, he felt on the table for a glass containing a little water to throw over it. His hand grasped the monkey’s paw, and with a little shiver he wiped his hand on his coat and went up to bed.
II
In the brightness of the wintry sun next morning as it streamed over the breakfast table he laughed at his fears. There was an air of prosaic wholesomeness about the room which it had lacked on the previous night, and the dirty, shrivelled little paw was pitched on the side-board with a carelessness which betokened no great belief in its virtues.
‘I suppose all old soldiers are the same,’ said Mrs White. ‘The idea of our listening to such nonsense! How could wishes be granted in these days? And if they could, how could two hundred pounds hurt you, father?’
‘Might drop on his head from the sky,’ said the frivolous Herbert.
‘Morris said the things happened so naturally,’ said his father, ‘that you might if you so wished attribute it to coincidence.’
‘Well, don’t break into the money before I come back,’ said Herbert as he rose from the table. ‘I’m afraid it’ll turn you into a mean, avaricious man, and we shall have to disown you.’
His mother laughed, and following him to the door, watched him down the road; and returning to the breakfast table, was very happy at the expense of her husband’s credulity. All of which did not prevent her from scurrying to the door at the postman’s knock, nor prevent her from referring somewhat shortly to retired sergeant-majors of bibulous habits when she found that the post brought a tailor’s bill.
‘Herbert will have some more of his funny remarks, I expect, when he comes home,’ she said, as they sat at dinner.
‘I dare say,’ said Mr White, pouring himself out some beer; ‘but for all that, the thing moved in my hand; that I’ll swear to.’
‘You thought it did,’ said the old lady soothingly.
‘I say it did,’ replied the other. ‘There was no thought about it; I had just—What’s the matter?’
His wife made no reply. She was watching the mysterious movements of a man outside, who, peering in an undecided fashion at the house, appeared to be trying to make up his mind to enter. In mental connexion with the two hundred pound, she noticed that the stranger was well dressed, and wore a silk hat of glossy newness. Three times he paused at the gate, and then walked on again. The fourth time he stood with his hand upon it, and then with sudden resolution flung it open and walked up the path. Mrs White at the same moment placed her hands behind her, and hurriedly unfastening the strings of her apron, put that useful article of apparel beneath the cushion of her chair.
She brought the stranger, who seemed ill at ease, into the room. He gazed at her furtively, and listened in a preoccupied fashion as the old lady apologized for the appearance of the room, and her husband’s coat, a garment which he usually reserved for the garden. She then waited as patiently as her sex would permit for him to broach his business, but he was at first strangely silent.
‘I—was asked to call,’ he said at last, and stooped and picked a piece of cotton from his trousers. ‘I come from “Maw and Meggins”.’
The old lady started. ‘Is anything the matter?’ she asked breathlessly. ‘Has anything happened to Herbert? What is it? What is it?’
Her husband interposed. ‘There, there, mother,’ he said hastily. ‘Sit down, and don’t jump to conclusions. You’ve not brought bad news, I’m sure, sir,’ and he eyed the other wistfully.
‘I’m sorry—’ began the visitor.
‘Is he hurt?’ demanded the mother wildly.
The visitor bowed in assent. ‘Badly hurt,’ he said quietly, ‘but he is not in any pain.’
‘Oh, thank God!’ said the old woman, clasping her hands. ‘Thank God for that! Thank—’
She broke off suddenly as the sinister meaning of the assurance dawned upon her and she saw the awful confirmation of her fears in the other’s averted face. She caught her breath, and turning to her slow-witted husband, laid her trembling old hand upon his. There was a long silence.
‘He was caught in the machinery,’ said the visitor at length in a low voice.
‘Caught in the machinery,’ repeated Mr White, in a dazed fashion, ‘yes.’
He sat staring blankly out of the window, and taking his wife’s hand between his own, pressed it as he had been wont to do in their old courting days nearly forty years before.
‘He was the only one left to us,’ he said, turning gently to the visitor. ‘It is hard.’
The other coughed, and rising, walked slowly to the window. ‘The firm wished me to convey their sincere sympathy with you in your great loss,’ he said, without looking round. ‘I beg that you will understand I am only their servant and merely obeying orders.’
There was no reply; the old woman’s face was white, her eyes staring, and her breath inaudible; on the husband’s face was a look such as his friend the sergeant might have carried into his first action.
The Book of Fantasy Page 21