“Good,” Austin said, “I can’t take you. Will you be able to make it on your own? No stopping along the way.”
Billy nodded and said, “Yeah, I’ll do that. It’ll be good to stay in the shelter tonight.”
We watched him walk down the alley and turn left at the street. He had a slight limp on his left side. My heart went out to him. Would he be all right? “You can go with him if you need to,” I said. “We can go together, make sure he gets into the shelter. In fact why don’t we stay in the shelter tonight? It’s got to be better than on the street. Warmer at least.
Austin looked down at me and smiled slightly. “He’ll get there fine, if he has any problems he has enough friends on the street to help him. As for us? Who said we were staying on the street. It’s the penthouse for you tonight. Besides, there’s no way you’re spending the night in a shelter.”
Seeing my confused look he only smiled then jumped into the air and caught the bottom rung of a fire escape ladder and pulled it down. He looked both ways up and down the alley to make sure no one was watching. “Up you go, I’ll be right behind you. You won’t fall.”
The rusty metal ladder hung there in mid-air waiting. I glanced at him and then back at the ladder. Was he serious? Of course he was serious. Shrugging my shoulders I grabbed the cold metal and started pulling myself up. True to his word Austin got on the ladder. His head only inches from my backside. Not the most flattering position.
I climbed the ladder and snaked my way through the small square opening to stand on the metal landing. Austin pulled the ladder up behind us and latched it in place as if pulling up a drawbridge. No one would be following us now. Our chests rubbed against each other as Austin scooted past me and to the window. He lifted the sash and crawled inside.
Is this what they call breaking and entering? Well he hadn’t really broken anything, did that make it okay? He reached under the window sill and turned on a small flashlight, waving the light back and forth as he motioned me inside. Well Casey, try explaining this. You see dad, mom. I broke into a building so I could spend the night with a boy I met yesterday. Oh they’d understand, Sure they’d understand and I’d be in military school until I was twenty nine.
Feeling a little like Alice I laughed to myself and followed him through the window. A large, very dark, empty, cavernous room greeted me.
“It used to be a glove factory, shut down last century. I found it about six months ago.”
The room felt like the size of a football field. Weak light filtered in through the dirty windows and only reached a short way. The wooden floor was layered with a fine white dust giving the place a stale, dry smell that tickled the back of my throat. Metal pillars were spaced every ten feet. Rows and row of them like soldiers in a parade.
“Come on, this way,” Austin said, using the flashlight to lead the way. Our footsteps echoed off the far walls. The small beam was swallowed by the darkness. It threw out only enough light to make sure we didn’t run into one of the pillars.
Everything had been removed, the place was abandoned. My stomach began to relax, we weren’t breaking into someone’s home. We weren’t trespassing. Well we were, but they’d never know.
In the far, far distant corner an office marred the perfect squarness of the giant room.
Austin held the door open and motioned me in. The room was darker than the factory floor. With no windows it was as if I’d stepped into a closet. I tried to swallow the rising fear that had begun creeping up the back of my throat. Austin followed me in then fumbled with something to the left. A spark flew and I saw him light an old fashioned storm lantern. He adjusted the wick, reset the glass chimney and then lifted the lamp up so I could see the entire room.
I gasped a little. He’d made himself a home. Or at least tried. A single mattress lay on the floor in the corner. Covered in a sheet and six blankets. Two pillows in olive green pillow cases rested at the top of the bed. Next to it a wooden crate turned on its end. Two books sat on top and more were stacked inside the make shift bedside table.
I slowly turned taking it all in. Three more crates had been arranged, one on top of the other creating a book case. In these he’d placed neatly folded cloths, Jeans and T-shirts. On top of the case a snow globe flickered in the yellow lamp light. A folded army duffle bag rested on the bottom shelf and I realized that everything he owned could fit into that bag. Austin could pack up and leave within minutes if necessary.
As I continued around a small desk had been pushed into the opposite corner from the bed and to the right of the door. A large porcelain bowl and several folded towels sat in the middle of the desk. An old fashioned wooden office chair on wheels sat before it. He’d made a crude shelf above the desk and I saw several glasses, the kinds you get at McDonalds with a kid’s meal. Some utensils and salt and pepper shakers. At the very end of the shelf a small fish bowl filled to the brim with ketchup packets.
“The heating duct for the bakery down stairs passes up through the wall,” He said. “It keeps the room from getting too cold. It still gets cold enough to freeze my b… It gets cold but I’ve got enough blankets to make it through the coldest of nights.”
I couldn’t believe it. He had created this out of nothing. I thought of my bedroom at home. Almost as big as this room. The fluffy comforter, my desk that looked out over the back yard. The closet full of cloths. The bathroom down the hall. What would I have done if I’d lost all of that? “Where did you stay before you created all of this?” I said. I know my jaw was hanging open. Sure it wasn’t much but it was so much more than I expected. The boy had his own apartment at sixteen.
“Uh … wherever, under bridges and behind dumpsters. Any place I could find that was warm and protected from prying eyes.” His faced turned slightly red, mixing nicely with the blues and greens around his eye. The guy was embarrassed I realized with a start. He doesn’t have any idea how amazing this was. That he did all of this on his own.
Chapter Nine
Austin
I couldn’t believe Casey was standing in my room. And she wasn’t freaking out or laughing her ass off. I’d been dreading this moment ever since she refused to get on her bus. Swallowing hard I put the storm lantern on the bedside table slash wooden crate and let her wander around the room. She stopped at my books and kneeled down to look at them running her finger along the spines.
“The library sells old books real cheap every month. I check out most of my books but when a special one comes up for sale I can buy it for a buck. I like having my own books, you know. Someday I’m going to have my own library full of books.”
She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled that sweet Casey smile that let me know she didn’t doubt me for a moment. “Here,” I said pulling the office chair out for her to sit in. She sat down and twirled slightly then glanced up. I continued to stand there with both hands in my back pockets.
“I should have found another chair, but in all honesty I never thought I’d be entertaining.”
“Haven’t you had people here before?”
By people, did she mean girls? “No, never, you don’t know who you can trust. There aren’t any back ways out. It’d be too easy to get trapped. The only protection is to not let anyone know.”
Casey bit her lip and narrowed her eyes for a moment then smiled to herself. “What now. How do we get Jeanie back? How do we find out where she is?”
“I know where she is,” I said with more confidence than I should have. “She’s in Dick Wad’s apartment.”
Her eyes grew larger. “How do you know?” She turned to touch the porcelain bowl.
I quickly peeled my bloody T-shirt off, pulling a blue sweater on while Casey had her back turned. “He was lying, I knew it. Don’t ask me how I know because I couldn’t tell you, I don’t know how but I can always tell when someone is lying to me. She’s in his apartment.”
“How are we going to get in or do we wait outside until she comes out.”
“I can get us insid
e, but not until tomorrow morning.” The fact that she would be spending the night here with me hung in the air between us like a heavy cloud.
She accepted my pronouncement about Jerk Idiot without question but seemed to be worried. I watched her look around the room. Taking in everything except the bed. Noticing her discomfort made me queasy. Was she worried about me attacking her? She should know me well enough by now to know I wouldn’t do that. Although in reality she didn’t really know anything about me. All she knew was that I got into fist fights, ran from cops, and was poorer than an East European farmer.
An awkward silence fell over us again. I felt as if the walls were closing in on me. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ears and smiled weakly. It sent a burning pain to my stomach when she looked at me like that. As if I was some kind of hero and she needed me to do the right thing. I had to get Jeanie, tomorrow I promised myself. Afterwards Casey would go home. The thought no longer scared me. I wanted her too I realized. The thought shocked me. She didn’t belong in this world. She deserved so much more. The fact that I hadn’t lost that part of my humanity made me feel good about myself.
“Listen, I’ve got to step out for a few minutes.” Her eyes flashed with fear for a moment but she steadied herself and nodded. “I’ve got to set up tomorrow morning.” I continued “Do you need anything? You’ll be fine, just stay in here until I get back. Okay?”
She stood up and stepped over next to me. “Can’t I come?” She said placing a hand on my shoulder.
“Um, no not really,” I said. Her face fell and I hated disappointing her. “Ahkmed doesn’t do real good around pretty girls. He gets all tongue tied and I don’t want to scare him off.” She nodded. “Believe me I won’t be long.”
Casey
I watched the flashlight beam sweep back and forth as Austin left. My heart stopped when he crawled through the window. He waived before sliding it shut. The silence settled over me, sending a chill down my spine like a blanket of snow. I shivered and tried to push it away as I closed the office door. The room felt smaller without him there. If I tried hard I could hear distant street sounds, car horns, busses chugging up a hill, a woman’s high pitched laugh. The sounds were reassuring for some reason.
So what now, how long would he be gone? Most girls would have loved the idea of exploring a boy’s apartment. But with Austin, what you saw was what you get. No hidden secrets. At least on the outside. No not Austin, all of his secrets where on the inside.
I walked around the room twice, both times avoiding the bed. What was he expecting tonight? My stomach tumbled every time I thought about it but the rest of my body reacted strangely also. Tingles and tightening, flushing of skin, racing heart and sweaty palms.
A lot of girls my age would have jumped at the chance to spend the night with Austin. They’d have fought each other like a bunch of Bloomingdale shoppers for the chance. But I’d never been that type of girl. Always hesitant, conservative. Hey but then I wasn’t the type to play hooky from a field trip either. Things change. What had happened to Jeanie with that jerk Tommy flashed through my mind. Shaking my head I looked at the bed and its six blankets. None of them matched.
I removed my jacket and hung it over the back of the chair. A faint puff of my breath reflected off the yellow lamp light. It was going to get cold in here tonight. Folding my arms I waited,
I didn’t have to wait long. A faint squeak had me jumping from the chair and to the door. Austin was stepping through the window. My heart skipped then jumped into hyper-drive as the small flashlight beam swept back and forth towards me.
“See, not too long,” he said, holding up a plastic shopping bag, “Dinner.”
The sweet smell of teriyaki made my stomach rumble. He plopped onto his bed and crossed his legs under him and motioned for me to sit on the bed also. Taking a deep breath I sat across from him. He removed two water bottles and gave me one then handed me a plastic fork and opened the white Styrofoam container. Sliced grilled chicken covered in syrupy sauce and two mounds of white rice greeted us. “Hmmm, interesting, Mrs. Chang put in an extra egg roll,” he said with a slight frown.
“Why is that interesting?”
“I don’t know. It’s not like her.”
“Mm, it’s good.” I said around a small mouthful. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was.
“Yeah, I promised to help out next week washing dishes so they fronted me a meal tonight.”
My fork halted half way to my mouth. Talk about working for your dinner. For some people it was the literal truth.
The tension in the air slowly leaked out of the room as we fell into a comfortable silence as we concentrated on filling our insides.
“Did you talk to Ahkmed?” I asked.
“Yeah, He’ll let us in tomorrow around eight. He knew who I was talking about. He saw Jeanie earlier this morning. She’s in apartment 3C he thinks. So no problems.”
“He saw her? Did he say what she looked like? How she was?”
“No, nothing special. When I mentioned the flaming red hair and the Gold tooth creep. He nodded and said, sure 3C.”
I let out a long breath and returned to my meal. Tomorrow, we were so close. Why had she run away and would she want to go home. Was I going to have to drag her out of there kicking and screaming? Because if I had too, I would.
We started talking about other things. He had a ton of questions about my school, what the kids were like, what the classes and teachers were like. I could feel a yearning in him. A burning thirst for information. As if he was a castaway watching a distant ship on the horizon.
I asked him what he was going to do with the money and he told me about the whole fake Social Security card thing. I looked around his room and realized he was going to make it. If anyone could crawl their way out of here it’d be him. I thought he might have a chance. My insides fluttered when I thought I might be able to help, my money would be the thing that set him on his way.
We both ended up leaning against the wall, talking for hours. He told me very funny stories about the people he knew and I told him semi-funny stories about my friends. We talked about books, I loved the fact that he’d read all of the Potter and Hunger Games, we were able to compare and argue. I laughed when he told me his secret wish was to see the Potter story from Ginny Wesley’s point of view.
I don’t exactly remember when, I was probably rambling about something totally meaningless, but somehow I ended up with my head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around my shoulder. A sense of safety and security washed through me and I was sure I’d found heaven. I could have stayed there the rest of my life. The smell of Teriyaki sauce and lamp oil would always be associated with this night. For the rest of my life I wouldn’t be able to go camping or walk into a Chinese restaurant without thinking about this boy next to me.
We talked, and talked. It was as if someone had opened a vein and everything was bubbling out of us. I didn’t know it could be like this; to talk with someone and not worry about being judged. When talking to Steph and Jeanie I had to watch what I said sometimes. But this was different, nothing was taboo, nothing forbidden. Of course I’m not an idiot. I made sure to steer away from asking about his time in the system. My soul knew that it’d ruin the moment and bring everything to a crashing halt.
Eventually, as all good things must, it came to an end. We’d talked ourselves out. A yawn escaped me before I could stop it. I raised a hand to hide it then flushed when I did it again. He laughed and pulled me closer. We sat there and enjoyed being there, in that moment. I wasn’t freaking out about my parents, wasn’t worried about Jeanie. I could feel him relax. For the first time since I met him it didn’t feel like he was walking point on a combat patrol. Hey I used to watch war movies with my dad.
.o0o.
A rock hard furnace next to me kept the cold at bay. Drifting on a cloud I snuggled up next to it trying to capture every last bit of warmth. My hand had slipped under his T-shirt and rested on his side. My eyes shot open.
I was in bed with Austin, in his room. Somehow under the blankets. When had that happened? How.
My entire body was pressed up next to him, my knees in behind his, my chest next to his back, my hand resting on his side. I sighed in relief when I realized we were both still fully clothed.
A faint yellow glimmer escaping from the lamp cast the room into deep shadows. Austin breathed slowly and deeply making me feel all soft inside knowing that he was resting comfortably.
My hand tingled where it touched his skin; I must have slipped it under his shirt while still asleep. Instinctively searching for what I needed. This felt so right, so perfect. I buried my face in his back and let his scent travel through me.
As my hand slipped to his stomach so that I could pull myself closer I felt a bubbly ridge of skin. Places where there shouldn’t have been a ridge. My fingers traced a three inch square of raised scare tissue. I knew what scar tissue felt like; my dad had scars on his legs from in the Army.
I can still remember as a little girl, my dad sitting in the back yard in shorts and seeing the ugly scars on his legs. They’d frightened me like nothing had ever scared me before. The idea that something could hurt my father had shaken me to the depths of my being. He let me touch them to prove they didn’t hurt any more. But looking up into his face, I knew they’d hurt him a lot at one time.
That sick, scared little girl feeling returned when I felt Austin’s scars. My hand continued to explore and I felt another nasty indentation up under his ribs. I gasped in shock. His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist stopping me from searching for more.
“How, why?” I asked.
He shot out of the bed and across the room as if jumping from a frying pan. The cold hit me with a physical force. Slamming into me like a wet towel across the face. Even worse, his absence felt like it had ripped a part of my soul away. He stood by the desk with his back hunched.
“Not now, come on we need to go,” he said as he put on his jacket.
“Austin, please, what happened? Please tell me.”
Unwritten Rules Page 7