Early afternoon meant the studio was open, and Calder waited patiently for a few minutes as the current class of students, mostly younger women, filed out. He shook his head and got out of his truck and entered the small, airy building just as the last student stepped out.
“Hey. What’s up?” Bryce asked when he spotted Calder. Layla sat in her wheelchair nearby. Calder knew she liked to come into the studio. She was getting fed up with being confined to the chair, and Calder felt for her. Shifters were more active than normal people. It would be torture to not be able to move around whenever he needed to.
“Hey Layla,” Calder said, bending to kiss his friend on the cheek. “Bryce,” he said with a nod.
“No kiss?” Bryce asked, and Calder shook his head.
“How’s our girl?” Layla asked him.
Calder blew out a breath. “Still refusing to leave the house.”
“Give her time,” Layla said. “Knowing Sophie, she’s going over this from every possible angle, trying to figure out how it works. She ever tell you about how she figured out how to use Light magic?”
Calder nodded. Sophie had taught herself, figured out how to manipulate the magic she could see in front of her.
“I have no doubt she’s trying to figure out how this works, too. She needs time and focus. And she needs to be sure we’re all safe.”
“I’m just tired of her feeling like it’s solely her responsibility to keep us all safe.”
“She’s being smart. Careful. She saw up close what Marshall was able to do, just by walking into a room.” She closed her eyes. It had been the effect of Marshall’s presence that had led to Layla’s injuries. “She wouldn’t risk that. She cares too much, and thank God for us she does.”
“She shouldn’t have to do this alone,” he muttered.
“She shouldn’t, but she does. And don’t look at me like that,” Layla said. “You didn’t know Sophie when she first came back here, after she ran from Marshall and Detroit and everything those two things meant.”
Calder shook his head. While she’d told him a bit about Detroit, she usually didn’t say much about what happened after.
“She rolled into town on fumes. Her car shouldn’t have been able to make that trip,” Layla said with a smile. Calder was inclined to agree. He’d kept it running for her as best as he could until it had been totaled when she’d hit a deer. “So she rolls into town, coasts into a parking spot in front of the diner, just as the last of the gas in her tank gave out. And she got out of the car and just kind of stood there, looking first at the car, and then at Main Street, as if she was lost. Cara and I went out to see if she needed any help, and the second she turned to us, I recognized her. Her scent. Eyes,” she said with a smile. Calder nodded. Shifters rarely forgot a scent. And Sophie’s eyes were unforgettable. At least, as far as he was concerned.
“I said her name, and she jumped. Flinched, like I’d hit her or something,” Layla said quietly. “I have never seen someone so afraid in my life. She was like a cornered rabbit. For a few minutes, nothing we said seemed to calm her. She wanted to get back into the car and go, but she was out of money and out of gas. She thought we only knew her because Marshall had beat her here.”
Calder sat on one of the benches nearby. It hurt to picture Sophie that way. No matter what she’d been through since he’d come back into her life, she’d been determined, brave. Scared, sure, but ready to fight anyway.
“She was so skinny, Calder. Pale,” Layla added. “She hadn’t showered in a few days, because she was afraid to let down her guard. Her eyes were bloodshot, lips chapped, fingernails chewed to nothing. Looking at her was learning what it was to go to hell and back. For the first six months, even though she remembered us once we got her talking, she was wary. Men scared the hell out of her. We assumed an abusive ex or something. When she finally told us the whole story…” Layla shook her head. “What I’m taking a long time to say is, Sophie’s faced the devil and come back stronger. She’s a fighter. But she has to do this her own way. And she has to be given the freedom to be who she needs to be. And maybe, just now, she can’t be the love of your life. You need to get to know Sophie where she is right now, on her terms. And if it means leaving her alone, then you need to be strong enough to do that, too. Sophie finds her own way out. She seems sweet and gentle, but she will claw her way out of whatever situation life hands her. She’s done it before, and I know she’ll do it again.”
Calder studied Layla. “Does she know that, though?”
Layla smiled. “Deep down, she knows. And if she forgets, it’s our job to remind her.”
“She’s in a town full of shifters. She’s not going to risk setting any of us off,” Bryce said, and Layla nodded.
“I know. And what you’re saying makes sense. I just… there’s this distance between us now, and I hate it. Christmas Eve, I felt like we were getting back on track, and now I can’t even get her to open the door to talk to me.”
“Like I said, she’s handling things the best way she can. She’s doing what she did in Detroit: buckling down, figuring things out. When she feels ready to face the world, she’ll do it.”
Calder nodded.
“Can I make a suggestion?” Bryce asked, and Calder tensed up. Something in Bryce’s tone told him he wouldn’t like what his friend had to say.
“What?”
Bryce took a breath. “Back off for a while. For Sophie, sure, but for you, too. You’ve been through the wringer with her. And I know, she was your first love, she’s the only one. I get that,” he said, glancing down at Layla. “Your life and Sophie’s are so intertwined and twisted, not just now, but back to your ancestors, right?”
Calder nodded.
“Okay. Maybe you need some time to figure out who you are again without Sophie. Not that I think you two are done with each other,” he added quickly. “But because both of you deserve to be happy, and you’ve got this weird, co-dependent, clinging thing going, and neither of you can be happy that way. No one could.”
“So I’m just supposed to walk away?” Calder asked.
“You’re supposed to give her a break and take some time to get your head right, man,” Bryce said. “When she needs you, when she needs a partner by her side, you’ll be stronger and able to be that.”
“Psychobabble bullshit,” Calder muttered.
“But you know he’s right,” Layla said gently.
Calder nodded, and sat around for a while longer chatting with Bryce and Layla before getting back to his truck and heading to the guy he usually got parts from. Once he had them, he turned around and headed back toward his house. He’d slowly but surely moved back into the house across the road from Sophie. His brother had convinced him to move into the big old farmhouse on their family homestead after the Sophie and Jack incident, but he didn’t want to be that far away from her, especially after what had happened at Layla and Cara’s father’s funeral.
Shit. Was he being clingy? Was he holding her back? Distracting her? He blew out breath. Really, how many times could she tell him to go away before she’d get fed up?
When he got home, he glanced over at Sophie’s cottage and saw the living room lights on, smoke puffing from the fireplace.
He wasn’t just going to abandon her without telling her what he was thinking.
He crossed the road and stepped up onto Sophie’s porch.
“Again, Calder?” she asked from the other side of the door. Though at least this time, it sounded like she was smiling.
“I want to talk to you about something, and then I’ll leave. You don’t have to open the door.”
“Okay,” she said after a bit of a pause.
“It was suggested to me by people who know and love you that this might all be easier on you if I backed off. And that maybe it would be good for me, too.”
“I’ve been saying the same thing for weeks,” she said, and he rested his forehead on the door.
“I know.”
“Let
me guess. Bryce?”
“And Layla.”
“Well, Lay knows me. And Bryce loves you like a brother.”
“I know,” he repeated. “Bryce said I need to figure out who I am when I’m not trying to be your savior.”
“That’s good advice. Because I don’t need a hero. I’ve saved myself before, and I’ll do it again.”
He blew out another breath. “Okay. Then I guess, I’ll be around when you want me.”
“You can email me, text me, call me, if you want,” Sophie said, and it sounded like she was smiling again. “Having you here is too much. It throws me off and makes it hard to focus. But I agree that you should focus on yourself for a while. When’s the last time you hunted with the boys?”
Calder thought, then shrugged. “I don’t remember.”
“See? And you love the hunt. When’s the last time you went to an auction to find another car to dump a bunch of money into?”
He shook his head. “It’s been a long time.”
“Okay. Do those things. And I’m going to try to figure out how to live my life, too. And when this is behind us… well. Let’s just see what happens.”
Calder nodded, even though he knew she couldn’t see her. “Okay. Night, Sophie.”
“Night, Calder.”
He stepped back, then off of her porch, and then made his way down the gravel driveway. He was walking away, but it wouldn’t be forever. When she was ready, he’d be ready, too.
Chapter Two
Shortly after Calder left, Sophie pulled on her boots and ventured out the back door of her cabin. It had been a long time since she’d let herself go out, and she was unsure about it, but there was no other way to test her theories about how Shadow magic worked.
She made her way past the empty barn and corrals, toward the path that led into the forest. She trudged through fresh snow through the silent forest, the nearly-full moon casting its light down onto the earth, giving everything a silvery, ethereal glow. She focused, just as she had been all those weeks in her house, and she sensed everything around her. The trees, the shrubs, the owls in the trees, the chipmunks in their nests. All of it, made of Light. And, in her presence, the Light magic flowing through the nearest trees started fading. Soon, the trees would wither and die, twisted and gray.
Unless this worked as she thought it would. She had, when she’d first been turned to Shadow, forced a tree to regain its health in her presence, but the next day, when she’d checked on it, the tree had been nothing but a withered husk.
Of course, it wasn’t as simple as demanding that something live, thrive, even in her presence. That was the ridiculous pride of Shadow, to assume that the world would bend itself to its will. And the thing was, those who were of the Shadow, like Marshall, like Esme, wanted that. More than anything, they wanted the world at their feet. If not that, then they survived, harboring a desire, waiting for the moment to make it a reality. Shadow magic augmented what they already wanted, but touching and twisting everything around it.
Sophie could see Shadow, just as she could see Light. Light was like clouds of glitter, imbuing life with warmth and vitality. It could be directed, focused, and she had done that often.
Shadow, though… Shadow was like a living oil slick. It was dark, sinuous. It looked like a creature with a million tentacles, each one reaching out as far as it could, hoping to snag something. It would devour everything in its path and still want more. Sophie could see it at that moment, reaching out to the trees and creatures that surrounded her.
“Okay,” she whispered. Her breath came out in a puff in the cold night air, though Sophie didn’t feel the bite of the sub-zero temperature.
She focused, letting Light fade into the background and focusing solely on the Shadow flowing from her, trying to corrupt everything around her. She felt for it, and instead of shying away from its oily, tumultuous presence, she embraced it, called it.
It was slow work. She pulled, gathered, willed Shadow to come to her, and she envisioned pulling all of those tentacled strands of Shadow toward her, winding it all up into a solid, hateful little ball, keeping it all deep inside her.
She sweated with the effort. It was nauseating, trying to keep it inside. So much Shadow magic, concentrated as it was deep in her soul, made he want to claw at her own skin to release it again. Instead, she stood there, breathing hard, sweating and trembling in the empty forest.
She looked at the forest around her, sensed for the Light. And when she saw it, she nearly jumped up and down in delight. The trees nearest to her, which had started withering, looked strong and full again, imbued with Light, as they should have been. The animals were at peace, unafraid now that Shadow no longer threatened.
In those few seconds, though, she could feel Shadow unraveling itself, fighting to push its way out, fighting to claim whatever it could.
Sophie groaned and swallowed, hard. She was about to be sick, the effort of holding Shadow making her feel like she was about to split in two.
As quickly as she could in the powdery snow, she fled back to her house and back inside. When she was there, she finally let go, and the sensation of Shadow freeing itself from her made her dizzy. She barely made it to her bed before exhaustion and dizziness overtook her, and the whole world went black.
When Sophie woke the next morning, the sun was shining brightly through the window beside her bed. Around the cabin, it was always silent now. Before, she had often been woken by the songs of birds, but the presence of her new magic had destroyed all of that. Few birds dared to venture this close to where she dwelled.
She thought back to the night before. She’d done it. It had cost her, and she was still shaky and exhausted, but she had done it. She’d contained it, forced it to behave as she wanted it to. She’d kept it from hurting anything other than her, and she was more than willing to make that trade if it would keep everyone else safe.
She would experiment with it more. Not that day, she knew. This would be another day of meditation, of sitting with Shadow and seeing what she could learn from it. She was too shaky to do much else. But soon, she’d see what else she could do. She smiled to herself a little. The sooner she figured this out, the sooner she’d have Calder back in her life for real, and the sooner they could start figuring out how to make forever work between them.
She tried to get up, but her body ached, as if she’d been hit by a truck. She couldn’t seem to stop shivering, and, in the end, she gave up and curled up under the covers again. Just the same, she did what she would usually be doing at this time. She closed her eyes, and steadied her breathing, and soon it was just her and Shadow, and she listened, determined to learn everything she could about the enemy within.
She lost track of how long she lay there, listening to Shadow, seeing Shadow. There was a knock on her door, and the first thing she did was try to feel for Calder. It wasn’t him, though, and she was annoyed by how disappointed she was by that. He was finally doing what she’d asked him to, despite how much he hated it.
Sophie pushed herself out of bed with a grimace and shuffled to the front door. She peeked out the peephole and saw a woman she didn’t know standing there. She was young. Twenty at the oldest, Sophie would guess. Dressed in black, from her sweater to her skinny jeans, to the combat boots on her feet.
And, Sophie realized with a start, she was Shadow.
Sophie shored her defenses up immediately and opened the door. The woman turned and looked at her in surprise.
“You are not what I expected to find here,” she said.
Sophie crossed her arms, but stayed ready to defend herself and her home if she needed to. “And what were you expecting?”
“Something darker,” the other woman said. “So, anyway. I'm here.”
“So you are. Why?”
“You called to me, and I came.”
“I never called you.”
“You’re the Shadow Lord. Or is it Shadow Lady? Shadow Queen? Whichever it is, I serve you now. What
happened to Marshall?”
“Did you serve Marshall before?”
“Yes. He stopped calling me a few weeks ago, though. Not that he called me all that often before, but still, and then I just felt... poof. He was gone, and I needed to come to you.”
Sophie studied her for a moment. “Well, I have no intention of leading some kind of Shadow coven.”
“You have to,” the woman argued.
“No, I don’t think I do,” Sophie said, getting ready to close the door.
“If you don’t, we’ll go to the next most powerful. Do you know who that is?”
Sophie had a feeling, but she stayed silent.
“The witch in the woods. She’s been waiting for this for a long time.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s always been second to Marshall. Always. Ordinarily, she would have tried to destroy him, but they had some kind of deal.”
“So I’ve heard,” Sophie said, remembering Esme telling her the same thing.
“But she has no such deal with you. I bet she’s getting ready to come for you. If you don’t claim us, she will, and then she’ll have an army to use against you and everything you care about.”
Sophie rubbed her temples. “What kinds of things did Marshall have you do? What’s your name, anyway?”
“Jayda. You know, the usual. Cause discord so he could feed off of the anger and fear. Everything for us is about getting stronger.”
“If you’re working for a Shadow Lord, how does that make you stronger?” Sophie asked.
“The power of the Shadow Lord augments the power of his or her soldiers. We all got stronger a few weeks back, and I’m guessing that’s when you replaced Marshall.”
“I suppose so,” Sophie muttered.
“So thanks for that.”
Light's Shadow (Copper Falls Book 3) Page 2