by D. A. Roach
“I love your kisses,” he said.
I blushed and then, not knowing how to respond, cleared my throat. “She’ll be back any moment - should finish.” Jay chuckled at my awkwardness but finished replacing the mulch over the bulbs. We headed toward the shed to hang up our tools. I purposely bumped him with my trowel. “Oops, sorry I didn’t see you there.” He stopped dead in his tracks and leveled me with his gaze. A few steps more and I bumped him again. “Gosh, I’m so clumsy today.”
“Do it again Brogen and I’ll have to kiss you.”
“Is that a threat?”
“A promise.” I laughed at him and then hung up my trowel, took off my gloves and turned and bumped right into him.
“That’s it - now you’ve asked for it,” he warned.
“No way - you were 10 steps behind me when I went to put the trowel away. You snuck up on me!”
“Doesn’t matter how it happened, all that matters is you bumped me again and now I get a kiss.” I swatted his arm playfully and he stepped on the tips of my toes so I couldn’t run away. But once he landed the kiss, there was no more fighting it. I didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world, than in his arms.
“Lunch is ready! You two almost done in there?” Mom yelled from the yard.
“Almost,” Jay hollered back. I laughed and he kissed me gently 3 more times before grabbing my hand and leading me out to the patio.
*******
At school Jay sat with us at lunch and I enjoyed watching Meg and Jay tease back and forth like brother and sister. Jay always held my hand or placed his hand on my knee during lunch. If we were near each other, we had this magnetic attraction and needed to physically touch the other person. School did not allow many opportunities for private time, but Jay and I had many chances to catch each other’s eyes and there was so much said in those glances. He always walked me home after school and gave me a gentle kiss goodbye.
On one of our walks home, Jay invited me to come over Saturday afternoon to watch a movie in his Aunt and Uncle’s basement. Their basement was totally finished with a leather couch, large flat screen tv, and decked out stereo equipment. It also had a pool table. Jay said they remodeled it so the kids were more likely to hangout at home than find trouble elsewhere.
Saturday afternoon quickly approached and I put on my comfy jeans and a blue and white striped polo. I walked down to his house and stopped when I saw Becca’s car in the driveway. She and Soren seemed to be getting close but I didn’t trust her. She had it bad for Jay and I suspected her moves on Soren were to make Jay jealous. Maybe I could call and ask Jay if we could just go to the theater instead. I took my phone out of my pocket and heard the front door open. “What are you doing out here?” Jay asked. I pointed at Becca’s car.
“Is that Becca’s?”
“Yeah, but listen, I called the basement - they won’t bug us. Besides, I think they are leaving soon.” I felt better thinking they wouldn’t be there long.
“Ok.” I followed Jay inside. I said hello to his aunt and uncle and looked around for Soren and Becca but saw no sign of them. Jay told his aunt and uncle we were headed downstairs. He grabbed a few sodas and a bag of chips. “What are we watching?”
“The Ring. Have you seen it?” I shook my head. “Oh, it’s one of the best horror flicks.” I didn’t scare easily so I was up for it. He set our stuff down on the coffee table and got the movie queued up. Then he plopped down in the corner of the couch and motioned for me to sit next to him. I sat close but kept some space between us. He noticed the distance and scooched closer so he could put his arm around me.
“I think I left my purse downstairs.” I heard Becca’s voice approaching and Jay felt me tense. He squeezed my shoulder to remind me he was right next to me. “Jay, have you seen my…” and her eyes fell on me. “Well, look who’s here!”
“Get your purse and go Becca. I think it’s by the pool table.”
“Sorry, was I interrupting your little love fest?” I rolled my eyes and wanted to shrink away. We didn’t need an audience, especially from the peanut gallery.
“Soren! Help Becca get her purse - she’s distracted by her need to annoy.” Jay shouted up to Soren. Soren trotted down the stairs.
“Hey Brogen.” Soren was always so nice. “Here’s your purse. Let’s go.” Soren grabbed Becca’s arm and gave a tug even though her eyes were still locked on mine. She finally broke the stare and left with him. Soren glanced back at us and Jay saluted a thanks toward him.
“God I hate her,” I muttered.
“Seems mutual, what did you do to piss her off?” Jay asked.
“Stole her man.” He smiled and then kissed my head gently. It made some of my tension leave. He turned and started the movie up. Now I had seen my share of horror movies but this one was terrifying. By the end of it I was in Jay’s lap, he had one armed curled around me to “protect me” and the other was roaming through my hair and caressing the strands. I honestly did not care what the one hand did as long as one held on tight to me. The movie finally ended and I felt all jumpy and weirded out.
“I thought you said you had some experience with horror movies?” He teased. The tv changed to satellite mode and some action flick showed on the screen. Jay left it on but turned the volume down.
“I did. But who the heck thinks up creepy people coming through tv sets? I’m never going to watch a DVD or VCR tape at home again - Netflix and movie theaters for me.” He laughed.
“So, have you figured out where you will be this summer? There’s only 2 more months of school.” He let out a puff of air and pondered my question.
“I hope I’ll be here. I’ve been thinking about what I’ll do when my dad gets out. My aunt and uncle said I can stay with them till college, I think that is the best plan for now. My dad could use some time to get a job and get used to daily life without the drama of a teenager. I’ll visit him on the weekends, but this is a stable house for me to live in while we rebuild our relationship.” I nodded, seemed like a good plan. “And there’s this girl who lives close by, and I really want to get to know her. If I move away I might miss the chance to find out just how awesome she really is. “ He smiled at me and I felt my cheeks blush. He leaned in and kissed me.
“You’re pretty awesome yourself,” I said with a smile. He kissed me again and we spent the next two hours talking, laughing, and kissing. We were two carefree teenagers at that moment. It was the best afternoon I had ever had. My phone beeped, interrupting our perfect bliss. It was a text from Mom:
-Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes. Please be home by then.
“I gotta’ go.” I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to spend the rest of forever with Jay. He made me happy, he made me love life.
“I’ll text you later. Thanks for spending the day with me.” He gave me a gentle peck, took my hand, and led me upstairs. We said a quick goodbye at the door and I headed home. I felt 20 pounds lighter. I had no appetite, too many butterflies filled my stomach, and I could not stop thinking about Jay. At dinner, I knew Mom was talking to me but I couldn’t tell you what she said. I couldn’t tell you what I ate. I just replayed the afternoon in my head like some lovesick puppy. Jay texted me around 9PM.
-I’m already missing you.
Me too. What are you doing tomorrow?
-I have a report to finish. Then I thought I might see if this hot babe is home, maybe we could go for a walk in the late afternoon.
You have a girlfriend???!!! Here I thought you were single.
-You’re joking right? YOU are the hot babe.
;> I hoped so, glad you confirmed it.
-So, see you tomorrow.
Can’t wait.
**********
Jay picked me up around 4pm the next day. “So, Soren and Becca...are they together now?” Jay just shrugged. “I mean, I keep seeing them together.”
“I’m ok if they are together, at least then she won’t bug me. I don’t think Soren is too serious though - he’s just havin’
fun.’
“You don’t worry she’s using him to make you jealous?”
“If she is, it’s failing. Besides, if she’s preoccupied with Soren, she’ll have less time to annoy us.” I hadn’t considered that, but it made sense. “So, what’s the deal with your parents? Divorced?” he asked.
“Yeah, several years ago. Guess some hottie caught my dad’s eye and poor Mom didn’t stand a chance. He’s actually dating Becca’s mom right now.”
“Ha! You’re joking.” He studied my face, “ok, maybe not... small world.” I nodded in annoyed agreement. “So do you see him often?”
“No, and I could care less. I lost all respect for him when he cheated on my mom.”
“Your mom’s pretty great. He’s an idiot to have thrown away a future with her and his daughter.” He grabbed my hand and we headed toward the bank of the creek. Jay searched around and collected a bunch of different rocks and gave me a small stash of them. We sat on a decaying tree trunk and flung rocks toward the gentle creek surface. “I’m sorry about your parents.” I thought he might begin telling me more about his parents, but he didn’t, he focused on the creek and the rocks.
“Did your parents get along?” He nodded. ”It must have been hard when your mom died. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”
“Thanks. It was pretty hard. Mom was the rock of the family, she supported, loved, and cared for us. And then she went to pull out a meatloaf for supper, and she was gone.” My hand covered my mouth, hoping to keep my emotions silenced. I leaned my head against his shoulder in a showing of support. “I wonder if she would have lived longer if the doctors diagnosed her early on in life. Would she make different choices? Would it have mattered?”
“I don’t know. I would hope so. I mean with your gift of knowledge you can make different choices - surely that has to affect the odds.” He nodded. “I wonder if the life expectancy is greater for those that learn about VEDS at a young age?”
Jay shook his head, “Honestly, it’s a crap shot. I can do everything perfect and still die early or maybe live super long. Some of it depends on how much crappy collagen is floating around me. My collagen quality control center has a bunch of idiots so I have good and bad floating around. So, no guarantees.” Jay threw a rock as far as he could. It landed down a ways with a big plop.
“So you got your medic alert bracelet - what else do you need to do?”
“Umm, not sure really. I know there’s a list of dangerous things to avoid. Rollercoasters, cannonballs in the pool, contact sports…” He stared off into space, taking a moment to mourn the things he had to let go of to ‘live more carefully’.
“But you’ve been on a rollercoaster before, and you clearly you didn’t die. I don’t get it.”
“The stress of the high blood pressure through my arteries can cause an aneurysm to form. Rollercoasters increase blood pressure.”
“Well, what about the cannonballs? They don’t increase your blood pressure, do they?”
“Nah, no cannonballs for the same reason no contact sports: chance of rupturing organs from the impact.”
“Holy crap.” He nodded. “And no surgery?”
“Only if it’s to save my life - and they have to be prepared for anything going into it. I guess a lot of people with it have died during surgery because their body freaks out and turns the tissues to mush. The doctors weren’t prepared for that.”
“I guess knowing you have VEDS helps prevent that from happening. The doctors can be prepared.”
“It still takes someone knowledgeable though, it seems safer to just avoid it.” He threw a rock hard and it landed with a big plop.
“Have you heard from your dad?” He shook his head. “He probably just needs time to figure it out.” I kept my head on his shoulder and felt the warmth of the late afternoon sun on my face. I felt calm and happy; Jay had that effect on me. Jay kissed my head and then pulled away enough to look at me. He stared for a few moments and then a smile spread across his face.
“What?”
“You look …,” he studied me for a long moment. “Nah, nevermind.” My eyes popped wide open. I anticipated some form of compliment to come out of him, “you look...beautiful, sexy, sweet, intelligent, peaceful...etc” But leaving me hanging was torture. I wanted to know how he was going to complete that sentence.
“I don’t know what I looked like a minute ago, but I MUST look infuriated right now.” I said with a giggle. Jay followed suit and laughed. I tickled his side to try and torture the word out of him. “Tell me!”
“I’ll never tell,” he gasped between laughs. “Good god, stop, I’ll pee my pants.” But I continued my assault. Jay grabbed my hand and pulled me so I couldn’t reach his side anymore. I lost my balance and fell onto his forearm. “Crap!” He sat up and made a “T” for timeout.
“Ooo, sorry. Are you ok?” We both looked at his arm - no blood, but it seemed to hurt.
“Yeah, guess I shouldn’t try to evade your attacks. Listen, wanna’ head back?” Jay stood and extended his hand to help me up. We brushed off our pants and headed up to the trail that led to our part of town. “So, thanks for coming out with me today. Great day.”
“Yeah, it was pretty great.” Our walk home seemed to take half as long as it did on the way out. The banter between us came so easily and time flew by. Jay stopped before we got to the front steps to my house. He reached up to grab my face for a kiss. I felt the butterflies take flight in my belly and then I saw a blue and purple collage out of the corner of my eye. I pulled back and grabbed Jay’s arm. “Holy crap! Did I do this to you?” Jay looked at his arm in disgust. “How did it get this bad in 10 minutes?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.” He said trying to change the subject.
“Do you want an ice pack or...Jeez, I feel awful for…”
Jay looked mad, “Would you stop. I’m fine.” He took a deep breath, “Listen, I gotta’ go.” He turned and walked away.
“Jay. I’m sorry.” I felt bad for making a big deal out of it, but I hurt him and I wanted to care for him. “Jay!” He did not look back, he just kept walking.
“Is everything ok?” Mom peeked her head out the front door.
“I don’t know. I think I just made Jay mad.” Mom gave me a curious look. “I fell against him and he got this huge bruise. I just wanted to help, get him an ice pack or something to make it better.” Mom came out and we both stared after Jay’s fading figure as he walked home.
“It must be hard for Jay to be a man and be so fragile. He probably feels self-conscious about it. Just give him some time,” she suggested.
*********
Time...The next week at school sucked. Jay did not sit by me at lunch. In the halls he acknowledged me, but in the most minimal way, as if I were an acquaintance. I tried to give him space, tried not to be overbearing. I sent him a single text at the end of each day that read “thinking about you”. He never replied. As the week went on, I felt like Jay would never come around. I was sad and miserable without him. I confided in Meg and she comforted me. “This weekend I got lawn seats to the concert festival. It’s gonna’ be amazing.” I liked at least half the bands playing so it promised to be a good time. Friday night I didn’t text Jay. My sadness turned to anger. I was done coming his way. What crime had I committed against him? I cared too much? Done.
Saturday morning I got ready for the festival. It was an all day event in the next town over. Meg picked me up in her new used car. It wasn’t the prettiest set of wheels, but it worked and was clean. The day was beautiful, 80F and sunny. I wore my cut offs and a black fitted tee. Meg wore her tight shorts and a tank. We slathered on suntan lotion and walked toward the gates. Music was already blaring through the speakers and the amount of people attending was insane. We found a spot high on the hill, caring more about a decent crop of grass than the best view. We also wanted a fair enough distance between us and the mosh pit. Today was a day for sunning with a friend with some great live music, not do
dging fists full of mud.
After the first five bands we decided to grab some grub. Meg went to get us some hotdogs and chips. I stayed and saved our perfect spot on the lawn. The sun was sinking in the sky and the air would cool off soon.
“Please, just ignore her.” I heard a girl say nearby. It was a familiar voice. I turned to see Becca walking up the hill nearby with Soren looking back at me being dragged along. We met eyes. He waved and I returned the wave. What were the chances of bumping into them in a sea of people? I glanced around but did not see Jay. I lay back down on our blanket. I felt the blanket tug slightly from someone situating themselves on it.