Money Back Guarantee

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by Hunter Shea

Sea serpents make the ultimate pet! No mess! Low maintenance! Just add water and let the fun begin!

  Patrick had always wanted to order the Amazing Sea Serpents, but his parents absolutely forbid him from, in their words, wasting his money on worthless junk.

  “All that stuff is a scam,” his father had once said. “When I was a kid, I ordered what was supposed to be a working rocket that could break the atmosphere. What I got was a balsa wood stick and a big rubber band.”

  But that was then, in the old days.

  There were laws and stuff now about scams like that. If it was in a comic book, it had to be tested and approved. Stan Lee would never pull one over their eyes. Excelsior!

  “We should order the Amazing Sea Serpents,” Patrick said.

  David had his eyes closed, his hands clasped behind his head. “Huh?”

  “They only cost $4.95. You get the serpents, their tank and everything.”

  Now David sat up. He’d wanted his own for a long time, too, but his parents felt the same way about the whole business as Patrick’s.

  “We have the money,” Patrick said. “And even after that, we’ll still have fourteen bucks for the new comics when they come in.”

  “What about our parents?”

  “We don’t have to tell them. It says it takes six weeks for delivery. It’ll be summer vacation by then. My mom and dad will be at work by eight every morning. I’ll be the only one home when the serpents come in the mail. We can set them up in your basement.”

  David’s basement had been a downstairs apartment until the tenants had moved out months earlier. Until his family found new ones, the place was all theirs. Most of the time, they just read comics on the overstuffed couch that had been left behind, eating from brown bags filled with chewy Swedish fish.

  “I’ll get an envelope,” David said, running to the dining room.

  Patrick found a pair of scissors and cut the ad out. He would never take scissors to X-Men or Spider-Man.

  At least this way, Wonder Woman was serving a noble purpose.

  He filled out the order form and David sealed it in the envelope along with a five-dollar bill, licking the stamp. They were going to be out a nickel, but what did it matter?

  “I can’t wait to see what they look like,” David said, a grin splitting his face in half. “I bet they won’t be boring as all those betta fish we’ve had.”

  On his way home up the street, Patrick dropped it in the mailbox. Six weeks couldn’t come fast enough.

  Meet the Author

  Hunter Shea is the product of a misspent childhood watching scary movies, reading forbidden books, and wishing Bigfoot would walk past his house. He’s the author of over 17 books, including The Jersey Devil (Pinnacle) and We Are Always Watching (Sinister Grin). Hunter’s novels can even be found on display at the International Cryptozoology Museum. The Montauk Monster was named one of the best reads of the summer by Publishers Weekly. He was selected to be part of the launch of Samhain Publishing’s new horror line in 2011 alongside legendary author Ramsey Campbell. When he’s not writing thrillers and horror, he also spins tall tales for middle grade readers on Amazon’s highly regarded Rapids reading app. His video podcast, Monster Men, is one of the most watched horror podcasts in the world. Living with his crazy and supportive family and two cats, he’s happy to be close enough to New York City to see the skyline without having to pay New York rent.

  You can follow his travails at www.huntershea.com.

 

 

 


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