"Blighted void, of course we are," Reiss cursed at herself. "What about this won't take forever?" She shook off her whining to glance over at the man who had his grand ballroom full of fancy people no doubt doing their best to pretend to celebrate. "You should head back to the party."
"What? You need me here," Alistair insisted, wrapping both hands around hers.
"It will be many hours, your Majesty," the second twin, the torture one piped up.
"Go," Reiss tugged him close, his forehead butting into hers, "go spend the time with your kids. Open presents and sing songs and gorge on treats. I'll be up here waiting, as I always am."
She spotted the tug in his eyes. He wanted to be in two places at once, both playing with his children that were already on the ground while also here with her watching for the next one. But it was foolish of him to waste that time sitting here bored out of his mind. "Are you certain? I don't want to miss anything," he'd been oddly excited about being there for the great emergence, having been kept far from Beatrice for her births.
"I swear, if I think the kid's gonna pop out I'll cross my legs really hard until someone gets you," Reiss promised to his beautiful brown eyes.
"That isn't recommended," one of the midwives popped up, but the lovers ignored her.
"Okay," Alistair agreed, brushing his lips against hers for a kiss. "It'll be an hour at most and then I'll come back. I promise."
He began to regretfully sidle to the door, the midwives trying to shoo him out of the way as they continued their preparations. "Don't worry," Reiss called, "I'll be sure to describe every bone breaking pain and gooey bodily fluid that leaks out of me on your return."
His face scrunched up in disgust, but she knew it was for dramatic effect. Blowing her another kiss, he turned to leave, when Reiss shouted, "Alistair! Your shirt!"
"Oh, right," he grabbed onto the one he'd abandoned as if thinking he'd be yanking their baby out with his bare hands. Sliding one arm on, he paused and soulful eyes few ever saw in their King stared over at her, "Good luck."
"I love you too," Reiss called out. As the father vanished to be with his other children, Reiss prepared herself to bring the newest one screaming into the world. "If a corpse is found dead beside the river, make certain to ascertain if it's..."
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Hello There
"I'll give you a pony, two ponies, you can have the crown right now and order every person in Ferelden to give you your dessert if you'd just. Go. To. Sleep!" Alistair clasped his hands together on his knees while pleading with his daughter to close her eyes.
Cailan passed out in the middle of the forest dance, his little head listing back and forth as Alistair trundled him off to bed. Now all he had to do was get Spud down and he could check on Reiss. There hadn't been word from anyone in an hour and while everyone kept assuring him babies took time, he refused to be patient. Maker only knew there was no chance Reiss was being it.
His daughter sat with Mr. Tibbles under her arm and gazed down at her broken father. Three separate glasses of water sat perched beside her bed because the first was too warm, the second too cold, and the third 'he was going to lock her in the dungeon if she didn't drink it.' Spud crossed her arms and muttered, "I'm not tired."
"Spuddy, you have to sleep. It's Satinalia tomorrow and it'll come even faster if you go to sleep."
"I wanna stay up with you," she launched forward, almost sliding out of bed to latch her arms around his neck.
Alistair was quick to catch her hands, "Oh no, that's not going to work. Daddy's...I'm gonna be busy tonight. Be good and go to sleep. When you wake up you might have a new brother or sister to play with."
That caused her lip to pucker out, Spud's normally chubby cheeks tucking back into a scowl. "I don't want another brother."
"It could be a sister," he was trying anything to bribe her short of letting her order a few executions. "You could do her hair, or put her in funny dresses, or challenge her to duels. I don't know!" Exhaustion and desperation were ransacking Alistair's brain.
"Humph," Spud tucked Mr Tibbles tighter into her crossed arms and glared at nothing, "I don't want it. I don't want Caywen."
"Well too bad. He's here and there's gonna be another one too. You know, you used to like your brother," Maker take him, he was trying to argue logic with a six year old. Alistair was truly screwed.
"Did not. You're lying. I never liked Caywen. He's a stinky head."
Admittedly, it was a fleeting perhaps year where the baby was cute, and adorable, and didn't keep getting into Spud's way. Then he started walking and the sister turned quickly upon her brother. Alistair already girded himself for when Cailan would turn on whoever was inside Reiss, the gap in years the same.
"Look, you are going to go to sleep because I...I have to sit at my desk doing boring King things that you hate," Alistair tried a new tactic, but the kid was far too bright.
Spud stuck out her tongue and sneered, "Nu uh, you never do that on Satinalia. You go off to play with Weiss."
Damn. He blinked in surprise at the fact she knew that. Alistair did his best to stretch his time evenly between the two lives, but sometimes sacrifices had to be made. "Spuddy, I..."
He trailed off as the nursery door opened to reveal Bea standing in it. She'd slipped on her night robe and looked far more relaxed than the man remaining in his fancy dress clothes save the tight collar he popped open. "Little lady," Beatrice spoke to Spud, "you should be asleep. It's long past your bedtime."
"But Daddy..." Spud whined, her fingers reaching over to snuggle to his neck. Now that he was her only chance to stay awake she suddenly wasn't mad at him.
"Has other business to attend to. Say goodnight, you'll see him in the morning," Beatrice commanded.
Spud's bright eyes sized up her unbendable mother, then she dashed forward and placed a kiss to Alistair's cheek. "Night, Daddy," she spat out quickly before releasing her hold then twisting over to lay away from them to make her wrath well known and no doubt forgotten come the morning.
"Sleep tight, Spudkins," he said, gently patting her back and staggering up to his feet. To Bea, he said, "Thank you."
She tipped her head, the fancy coif having been dismantled into soft ebony waves. "You are needed elsewhere," Beatrice was tightlipped. They'd been on not the best talking terms since she learned Reiss was going to be in her house for a little while. Alistair scurried to the door, his mind already shifting away from his child mode to let free all the worry he'd kept bottled away during the festivities.
"Alistair?" He froze dumbfounded; she never used his name. "I pray that everything will go well for you both."
He smiled at that and nodded, "Me too. Good evening, Beatrice."
"And to you as well, my King."
When he yanked open the door to Reiss' room he expected to see her laying on her back screaming at some hapless servant's face while the midwives bustled around. Instead he found her bottomless and pacing back and forth through the room. A small book was clutched in her hand which, as she kept walking, he recognized as being one of her old case files.
"Maker's breath, you're doing work while in labor?" he gasped.
She turned from whatever world she drifted off to when examining evidence and her eyes shined a moment along with a grateful smile at his reappearance. "This thing is taking forever, so I thought I'd walk around a bit while thinking through some cold files."
Shrugging off his shirt for real this time, Alistair scooped a hand along her waist. "How are you doing?"
"Contractions once every fifteen or so minutes. Some not bad, others painful enough I want to crack open a tal-vashoth skull. So, typical child labor I think," Reiss shrugged as if she was waiting for her horse to finish being shod. How was she not in some sort of panic? Oh right, because she was amazing and sometimes he suspected an ancient elf out of legend.
Running his palm across her cheek, Alistair tried to smooth back her hair behind her ears. He leaned in for a kiss, then
realized they were truly alone. "Where are the midwives?"
"Rutting around with that silent healer would be my best guess," Reiss threw out before kissing his slack lips.
"What? Together? At the same time? Aren't they sisters?" Alistair's face pinched up at the thought, uncertain which way to take the idea.
Reiss laughed, "In truth, I think they're taking turns. Perhaps unaware they're both interested in the same man. It seemed a strange dance to watch both flirting with him and the mage giving away nothing, but deciphering it did keep me distracted."
"You are something else," he meant it as a compliment, but Reiss gritted her teeth and loudly closed her book.
"I really want this kid out of me," she sighed, her hand rustling up and down her stomach. "Why is this taking so long?"
"Babies take..."
She drew her hand up against his throat, and he saw the same glint in her eye Cade no doubt did before he swung off the gallows, "Finish that thought and so help me!"
"I give!" Alistair held up his hands in surrender before scooping them both around the restless mother to be. She relented in her agitation to hug him back, at first it was sweet but then her hand began to cling tight to him. "Reiss?"
"Another one," she gasped. "Really strong." Alistair was quick to work her around into his arms, trying to hold her upright as she crumbled in from the pain. When it passed, she shook her head as if she took a strong shot, "I don't know why anyone does this."
"Babies are kinda cute and the steps to making them are a lot of fun," he shrugged and the woman glared murder at the man incapable of knowing this pain.
"The fun isn't worth this," she began to crab walk to the bed, her butt falling onto the mattress. As her legs lifted up she tipped her head back and sighed, "All right, maybe some of it is worth it. The tongue stuff."
Reiss rested on the bed while Alistair fell to the chair beside her. He tried to wipe away the sweat dotting her forehead. "I love you," he began.
"Sweet talking me now will get you nowhere," she bit back with but there was no malice. Instead, she was laughing with him as they so often did. Blessed Andraste but she did seem to be Maker sent for him.
Sliding forward, Alistair butted his forehead against hers, wiping his oily skin over all his hard work. "And, I can't wait to meet our baby."
Reiss' hands slid out to grip his and she grunted, "We're in this together."
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
* * *
"One more push, I think."
She despised that voice. That singsong, aren't I so cute butterflies should fly out of my mouth when I talk voice. Reiss dreamed of grabbing onto the midwife's perky little throat and ripping her vocal cords out even as she bared down to get this damn thing out of her.
"Am I too late?" Alistair's head appeared in the doorway as it had been for the past however long she'd been trapped in this hell. He blanched at the sight a moment, but dashed quickly to her side. Reiss dug her fingers into him, unable to speak a word as she tried to squeeze her entire insides out of a quarter sized hole.
For the entire night he'd watched by her side, trying to soothe some of the pains away and generally being hapless but sweet. With dawn came no baby and the rising problem of a King who had to attend to Satinalia matters in a castle unimpressed about an elf in labor. He kept vanishing, running off to open presents, return to hold her hand and tell her to breathe. Dash to start breakfast and give a traditional toast, back to wipe off her forehead and tell her he was proud. Then off to lead the parade of trees only to come jogging back with a crown of branches perched on his head in time to tell Reiss to push.
The last time he ran out to deal with some civic matter that flew in and out of the ear of the woman in tremendous pain, she figured he wouldn't make it back. Once this kid finally got it in its head to get out, there was no stopping it.
"I can see the head," the midwife who'd spent most of the time between Reiss' legs called out. The other twin stood by the ready with towels in her hands while the silent healer only grumped. Okay, first she was going to garrote the perky sisters, then disembowel the healer. Perhaps use his entrails to make blood sausage; at least then he'd be good for something.
"You're doing great," Alistair cheered, his hands gripping tighter to hers. She gave him a withering look of rage and he glanced down, causing the branch crown to teeter, "I believe in you?"
"One more push," the woman cheered.
"If I have to fucking hear 'push' one more Maker damn time," Reiss growled but she did as ordered. At the end of this they were going to have to scoop up her intestines and stomach to shove back inside her from the force she was shoving down. "Get out, get out, get out!" she babbled, tears of pain and exhaustion springing from her eyes.
Alistair stared at her gritting face, a hand wrapping around behind her shoulders as he tried to help as best he could. She was on the edge of giving up, of deciding that keeping the kid inside her for a few more weeks wouldn't be so bad when the mounting pressure popped and the baby slid out. The towel woman was quick to catch it, rubbing the baby clean of all the internal viscera while tears of freedom from the pain percolated in Reiss' eyes. It was out. She was free...
"Is it...?" the uncertain fear struck her and she staggered to sit up.
A little cry erupted from the towels, and she spotted a very red and angry face crying at the manhandling going on with its tiny body. The midwife smiled, "Congratulations, you have a little girl."
"Oh, thank the Maker," Reiss' head collapsed back onto the pillow and she turned to catch Alistair's eyes wide in joy. He was so enthralled with watching the baby get scrubbed clean he didn't notice her brush her fingers against his cheek. After nearly jumping out of his socks at the touch, he turned and smiled at her.
Placing a kiss to her fingers, he said, "I knew you could do it."
"All right, my Lady. Now to deal with the afterbirth."
While Reiss got the rest of the mess out of her, the mage checked over their baby. A clean bill of health the man snorted, annoyed at how he wasn't needed for any of it. She began to laugh at the absurdity of making the mage stand around for a day, when this tiny pink body was lain upon her naked chest.
Maker's breath...
"Look at that hair," Alistair cooed. Nearly a full head of dark blonde hair stood straight up courtesy of the toweling off. "She looks like wheat. Hello there, little wheaty," he quickly nicknamed his daughter, his fingers cupping down her back bearing acne spots.
Reiss couldn't say anything. She was laying in shock at this perfect little body stretched upon her. Soft, and warm, and so fragile; she felt a rising urge to shield her baby girl with everything in her body. Unable to help himself, Alistair drew up her curled fists, letting each one fall back onto Reiss while he laughed at the simplicity of it all. A baby. Their own baby.
"I'm your Daddy. I will also accept Dad, Da, and Waa, my pants are wet," he babbled, both parents fingers unable to stop touching their baby. For a brief second his eyes broke from the miracle resting upon Reiss' chest to stare at her, "And this is your Mom. Though you probably already knew that one."
"Hi," Reiss felt silly introducing herself to the baby that rested inside of her for ten months. But as she spoke, those fine little eyelids rose to beam a pair of beautiful, bright green eyes on her.
"Just like her mother," Alistair smiled at the sight before burrowing his nose into Reiss' neck as he tried to hug his family tight.
With a close view, Reiss spotted within the field of green a few dribbles of brown. There was some of her father in there, no doubt. Certainly more would begin to show itself with time. Slowly, she drew her fingers around the baby's head, smoothing down the 'wheat' hair before coming to rest upon her tiny ears. She couldn't deny the small frown at feeling round nubs where her heart told her points should be.
"Reiss?"
"Even with...I thought maybe given your, uh," she glanced around at the people surrounding them who didn't need to know about Alis
tair's dubious parentage, "I'd hoped for pointy ears."
"Oh," he brushed his face closer to their baby, pecking his lips to her warm head and smiling. "You know, I think I see a little bump here. It's not much, but..."
She drew her fingers around the shell of her baby's ear, careful to gently tease it around and felt what could have been nothing more than a pimple. It was silly. It didn't matter what her ears looked like, or if she had green or brown eyes. She was healthy, she was here. She was theirs.
"I love you, Reiss," Alistair whispered first to her, and then to their baby, "And I love you too, little one."
"Myra," she said, gently smoothing down her little girl's hair. Alistair blinked in confusion at her. "Her name is Myra."
"So we're not doing the naming tradition then?" he asked.
Reiss chuckled, remembering back to how they met, "I'd rather skip the assassins if it's all the same."
That caused him to laugh. Alistair moved to scoop Myra off her chest, then paused and looked to the mother. Reiss nodded that of course he could. With the practiced hand of a now thrice-over father, Alistair cuddled the baby close in his arms and whispered to her, "Myra Sayer Theirin."
At that Reiss sat up, "Theirin? Is that wise."
"She's my daughter. Might as well get stuck with the family name."
People would hate it. They'd rail against it. A bastard was a child with two names, a motherless bastard with one. To give her three would be considered legitimizing her and to have the King do it would draw her into the line of secession. Reiss sighed, exhaustion quickly overtaking the burst of energy from joy. She could talk him out of it later. For now, let him love his daughter.
"She's so warm. Maker I forgot how warm they are. And the smell," Alistair smiled. He'd unbuttoned the first few on his shirt in order to tuck his baby girl tight to his skin. Flesh of my flesh. Reiss reached over to caress down Myra's back. "My little Wheaty," he chuckled again.
Myra's bright greens opened a moment at her father's words and then the crying commenced.
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