“How come their brother is so little?”
“The parents had Phillip later in life. That’s how they lost their mother.”
“I see. What else runs in the Lewis family?”
“Other than being hardheaded and having to do everything on their own?”
Both men chuckled.
“Been there,” Darien said. “Seen that.”
“Dinner’s almost ready,” Angelina called from the kitchen.
“You guys go wash your hands,” Jeremy said to Philly and Alex.
At dinner, Darien got to meet Safire’s family. It turned out that Philly was seven, that Angelina was a history teacher at Florida International University, where Darien was studying art, and that Jeremy was a radiologist at Miami Children’s Hospital in South Miami.
“What about you, Alex?” Darien asked.
Alex had been quiet so far. Now that Darien had turned the spotlight on him, he could see that Alex was just generally quiet.
“I’m talking online courses in design right now, but next year, if I can get in, I want to go to the Miami International University of Art and Design to study computer animation.”
“That’s a wonderful plan, Alex,” Angelina said, obviously hearing this for the first time.
“But it’s hard to get in, and tuition is expensive. Next semester, I’m going to take some more online courses and see if I can get in. If not, I can start somewhere less expensive and transfer in, maybe.”
“You have the right attitude,” Jeremy said. “You’ll make it. And don’t worry about the money.”
“We can do loans,” Angelina said.
“If we need to,” Jeremy added.
“And I can help,” Safire said.
Darien looked at Safire. She obviously hadn’t told her family about her own plans for school. Was she planning to defer to help her cousin?
“That won’t be necessary,” Jeremy said.
“You take care of you,” Angelina added, “and let us know if you need anything.”
“Speaking of which,” Safire said, “I can help with the packing.”
“I’m doing it a little at a time, but I’ll let you know when.”
“Okay.”
“Me, too,” Philly said. “I can put stuff in boxes.”
Safire was sitting next to her little brother and petted his head. “It’s a deal. No more packing by yourself, Angelina.”
“Hear! Hear!” Jeremy cheered. “I told you,” Jeremy said to Darien.
“Told him what?” Safire asked.
“I see it,” Darien replied, ignoring the look he got from Safire.
“Let’s get dessert,” Angelina said, drawing Safire away.
After dinner was over, the boys went back to their game. Jeremy and Angelina headed out, and Darien stayed to help Safire clean up the kitchen and to talk to her. They didn’t say much as they loaded dishes into the dishwasher, but after that, Safire made some tea for him, and they sat at the kitchen table to talk.
“I’m staying with Philly and Alex tonight, so if you want to talk, it has to be here.”
“I want to talk,” Darien said, not sure where to start.
“Okay,” Safire said, “talk.”
“First of all, I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions last weekend. But you’ve never told me how you feel, and you’ve never told me if we’re exclusive, so I just didn’t know. I’d still like to hear those things from you. But I was wrong to get jealous of your sister’s fiancé. Why didn’t you just tell me who he was?”
“Because it shouldn’t matter who he was—is. You should know me better than that by now.”
“How can I know you when you don’t tell me anything? I didn’t know we were shopping for your sister’s wedding. I didn’t know that your younger brother is all of seven years old. I didn’t know that you come to take care of him sometimes. I didn’t know that you were leading the children’s reading groups at the Heritage Center. I don’t know how you feel about me. Your family doesn’t know you plan to go back to school. How can I know you better, Safire, when you won’t let me in?”
“I invited you to come meet my family once,” Safire said in her defense.
“You didn’t even tell me that the dinner party was here,” Darien retorted. “You don’t really tell me anything. That leaves me to guess based on what you do say. I know you love our intimacy, but I don’t know how you feel about me. Apparently, you called me a boy toy to your roommate—”
“I didn’t say that, and she shouldn’t have said it, either. I called you a hottie, but you are a hottie. If I called you a boy toy, it was a throwback to my former days, not something I meant about you.”
“That’s good to know because I don’t want to be your boy toy,” Darien said, taking her hand. “I want to be with you.”
“Look, I’ll admit that I have a little trouble opening up—”
“A little?”
“Okay, a lot. But you have to admit that you jumped to a bunch of conclusions, all of which painted me in a negative light. If you think I’m a Jezebel—”
“I never said that.”
“No, you just asked if I was only sleeping with you for the sex,” she whispered, balling up her fists.
Darien loosened one fist and took Safire’s hand. “Tell me,” he said. “Tell me how you feel.”
She let out a sigh and then shrugged. “I’m still finding out.”
“Then tell me that right now it’s just us and that you feel something for me.”
“I shouldn’t have to—”
“Please, Safire.”
“Okay, yes.” She said it begrudgingly, but it put Darien’s mind at ease and brought a smile to his face.
“Then will you promise to open up to me more? Please.”
Safire rolled her eyes and her head. “Okay, fine,” she said. “And you. What about you? You have to stop flinging accusations around.”
“I will,” Darien said. “So we have a truce?”
“I guess,” Safire said. She still seemed hesitant. “But the next time you call me ho, no matter how you say it, I’m out of here. I don’t allow that.”
“I didn’t mean to call you...anything. But I understand. I’m down. So we can start again, maybe a little slower this time, and you’ll let me in, really talk to me?”
Safire shrugged but said, “Okay.”
“I missed you,” Darien said. “It was only five days, but I did.”
After a moment, Safire acquiesced. “I missed you, too.”
Darien smiled and kissed Safire’s hand.
“And you don’t have to stop working at the Heritage Center,” Darien said. “Even if things didn’t work out between us, I would never do anything to drive you away from your volunteer work there.”
Safire sighed. “Okay. I can stay on until the end of next semester, maybe the summer. I don’t think I can do it when I’m back in school. I’m not a Superman like you.”
Darien smiled at that. She finally had the right paradigm. He leaned over and kissed her until she kissed him back.
It was a hard-won, tentative truce, but Darien accepted it. Safire had only reluctantly yielded ground, but her final decree had yet to be made, and she was ready to leave at the first misstep. She still had sore spots after calling it off. But then, he still had sore spots because she had called it off.
At least she felt something for him. Darien prayed that it was enough to let her open up to him so that they could have a real relationship and enough so that he could really learn to trust her—trust her without thinking. Because whatever it was between them, he wasn’t letting go.
Chapter 13
Safire got out of the shower and pulled on a short ivory skirt with a floral brocade pattern. She
had on an ivory peach-skin tank top, and over that, she wore the matching top to the skirt, a short bolero jacket. Her hair was down and her face was done, so she slipped on her two-and-a-half-inch gold sandals and grabbed her gold clutch.
It was Saturday, almost a week after they’d made up, and the first time that they would be spending together since the argument. Safire wasn’t sure that she’d made the right choice by getting involved again after all that he had implied when he first saw her with Jeremy, but something about this man drew her in against her will, even after she’d determined to refocus. In the end, she couldn’t resist how sweet he was when they’d talked at the old homestead, and now she couldn’t help being a little excited about their date. Darien had someone covering his classes at the Heritage Center, so they had the day. She wasn’t sure what he had planned for the afternoon, but he rang her buzzer on time, and she went down to meet him.
He met her at the front door wearing blue jeans that had words written all over them, a white T-shirt and a multicolored vest with a harlequin pattern on it. He was ever the sexy artist and had a big smile on his face.
They hugged briefly, and then Darien stepped back to look her in the eyes. He didn’t say anything, but Safire could see that his mind was working, gauging something about her or perhaps wondering what he had gotten himself into. He bent his head down and pressed his forehead against hers.
“My difficult one,” he whispered. “Don’t forget that you said you’d open up.”
His low voice sent a tingle through Safire’s body, but she didn’t move. “I haven’t forgotten,” she said when she found her voice. Then she stepped back, cocked her finger in the air and said, “And don’t you forget—”
“I haven’t forgotten,” he said and chuckled, knowing where she was headed and cutting her off before she got heated. Then he tickled her ribs until she smiled.
He wrapped his arm lightly over her shoulder, and they headed into the parking lot.
When the passenger side of Darien’s car opened, Safire was surprised. Out bounded a younger man—someone almost her age—wearing blue jeans and a light pullover in deep purple. He had short braids pilled over his head.
Darien smiled with pride as they neared the car.
“Safire, this is my baby brother, Lawrence. Lawrence, this is Safire.”
The two smiled at each other and hugged spontaneously. Then Lawrence got in the backseat, leaving the front door open for her.
“My mom’s car broke down two days ago,” Darien explained. “We have a list of errands to run for her. Should we meet later?”
“I’m already in the car,” Safire said. “What all do we have to do?”
“Ugh,” Lawrence groaned. “Doctor’s office for prescription, pharmacy to fill prescription, dry cleaner’s for church clothes, pet store for special dog food, department store for present for our cousin’s baby shower next month, grocery store for who knows what. And I bet she’ll call us while we’re out for something else. I think she just wanted us to run her errands. The car is probably working fine.” He laughed.
“That about sums it up,” Darien said and chuckled. “But her car is in the shop. I picked her up from the garage after they towed her. Are you sure you want to do this, Safire? It’s not what I’d planned.”
He took her hand, and a shiver ran up Safire’s spine. She nodded.
“I also need some art supplies,” Darien said. “You need anything, baby bro?”
“That,” Lawrence said. “Looker—two o’clock.”
They were at a red light. Safire looked toward two o’clock and saw a cute young man, maybe twenty-one, in tight jeans and a leather jacket.
Darien looked as well and cringed. “You have got to stop pointing out men to me, Lawrence. I am not interested.”
“Who said I was talking to you?” Lawrence said. “I was talking to Safire.”
“Good looking out,” Safire said. “High five.”
She held up her hand toward the rear seat and Lawrence high-fived her.
“Oh, Lord,” Darien groaned.
Both Safire and Lawrence laughed.
Safire winked at Darien on the sly and reclaimed the hand that had been holding hers. Darien winked back at her and smiled, so he understood that she was only bonding with his little brother.
“Now he’s got you into this,” Darien said to her. Then he looked in the rearview mirror. “I don’t want her ogling good-looking men, either,” he said to Lawrence.
“Hey, a body’s got eyes.”
“Oh, slow down,” Safire said.
“What?” Darien seemed concerned.
“Ten o’clock. Off the chain.”
“Woohoo,” Lawrence howled. “You called it. High five.” After they high-fived, Lawrence said to his brother, “I like her.”
“Okay, but let’s not do this all day.”
“Okay,” Safire said, “only nines and tens.”
Safire had regained Darien’s hand, and when she said tens, she drew her finger along his palm. Darien got it and smiled.
“Deal,” Lawrence responded.
“Oh, Lord,” Darien groaned again.
“You better not let Mom hear you say that. She’ll drag your butt to church for—”
“I know. I know.”
Errands took up the morning and early afternoon. They decided to stop for brunch before hitting the grocery store and heading to Darien’s house. Safire had a great time with Lawrence, who was talkative and very sweet, especially in the way he adored his older brother.
“So, what are you going to do with your psychology major,” Safire asked Lawrence over brunch.
He got a little serious for the first time that day. “I’m not sure. I’m thinking about going on in psychology, but I really want to work with young people in the gay community. I’m not quite sure how yet, but I know I’ll need more education than I have now. Psychology or social work—I have to figure out which. I’d also like to start or to work for a national magazine for queer youth. Are you going to help with the artwork, Darrie?”
“Yep.”
“And I can do some editing or something,” Safire said.
“I have to finish school first.”
“How come you don’t work at the Heritage Center?” Safire asked.
“I do in the summers. I run a workshop and reading group for queer youth in the summer program. It’s great.”
Safire saw what Darien had meant when he said his little brother was a sweetie. “And the braids?” she asked. “Following in this one’s footsteps?” She motioned to Darien.
Lawrence grinned and smoothed back his unruly stalks. “Not quite yet, but in a little while, I’ll be getting there.”
After lunch, they went to the grocery store, and then they went to bring everything to Darien’s mother. Safire held her breath. She hadn’t expected to meet Darien’s mother today. She smoothed down her top and pulled at the hem of her skirt.
Lawrence put an arm around her. “Don’t worry. Mom is cool.” Yes, he was a sweetie.
And she needn’t have worried. Darien’s mother was sitting on the couch in her nurse’s uniform when they got in, and a little dog came yelping toward them. Darien’s mother got up and hugged her sons, and then she hugged Safire, bringing tears to her eyes. Darien was looking at her, so she fought them back, but he had noticed.
Mrs. James chatted with her while the boys put things away. She talked about the odd hours she worked and how hard it was to raise two boys alone. She asked Safire where she’d met Darien and where she worked. Though the conversation was nothing special, it felt special to Safire. It meant something to her to be sitting and talking with an older woman.
She realized this when they parted. Mrs. James nodded at Safire and told her she was a pretty one and to be good to her son
. Then Mrs. James hugged Safire again, bringing tears to her eyes once more. Darien hugged his younger brother, and Safire and Lawrence hugged again, and then the two went back down to the car.
Darien didn’t ask her anything, but once they were in the car, he took her hand and kissed her gently. Then he exhaled heavily and said, “Where to?”
Safire smiled. What she’d planned completed their family odyssey.
“I thought we could take Philly and Alex to a movie. Maybe Lawrence would like to come.”
“Baby brother has about six loads of laundry to do tonight, so no. But I’d be happy to go. What are we seeing?”
“I don’t know. I usually let them decide.”
“That’s fine with me.”
“Let me call them.”
The boys were up for a movie, and Jeremy was there, so he and Angelina could have a little time alone.
It turned out to be a good night. Safire didn’t particularly care for the movie—a children’s spy flick—but she got to cuddle with Darien in the theater. After the movie, they went for pizza, and Darien got little Philly to talk about the movie and what he wanted to be when he grew up and how he liked his teachers. He also got Alex to talk a little bit about designing video games.
“If you need help with the artistic side of things,” Darien said, “let me know.”
“So, you’re an artist?” Alex asked.
“Yeah, and I teach classes for adults on Saturdays at the Heritage Center, if you’re interested.”
“Maybe. I need to learn to draw better so that I can do the games I really want to do.”
“I’ll send some information for you with Safire, and we can customize your lessons to what you’ll actually want to draw. Let me know.”
Safire couldn’t figure out very much about her cousin, but one thing was sure—he only seemed to open up to men. She thought about opening up with Darien herself. Maybe she was a bit like her cousin.
It wasn’t that she was generally quiet the way he was, but she didn’t give away important details and tended to handle things on her own. She gabbed to no end, and she helped her friends through their issues, but she didn’t talk abut her own personal affairs in any great detail—well, nothing that really mattered. She didn’t have a lot of issues in her life that she needed to talk about, actually. For example, she didn’t have man problems because she hadn’t really taken men seriously. They were for fun and play, and when that was over, it just wasn’t meant to be. At least until now.
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