by G. Bailey
I don’t remember a lot, just fragments of flashbacks that don’t add up to a real picture in my mind.
“I was driving us home from the cinema, and then...” I stop, shaking my head before frowning at Riley. “I’m sorry I crashed the car because I wasn’t looking. Why does it matter what I remember, anyhow?”
“I remember a man in the road,” he slowly tells me. “And I don’t blame you. I know it was someone else’s fault, and I think that’s someone we know.”
“I-I don’t remember that,” I whisper, wondering where he is going with this. A part of me is happy he doesn’t blame me, but not so happy if he is blaming some random person. There was no way an angel was in the road; I would have seen a man or woman with wings. The big wings are hard to miss.
“See, that man looked just like the gardener. The one you keep talking to,” he warns me. “The one you are far too close to.”
“That’s impossible. He lives here, and he hasn’t chosen a side, so he doesn’t leave the academy. Ever,” I remind him, feeling angry and defensive of Thallon. After all, Thallon has been nothing but good to me.
He drops his hand on my shoulder. “Something is wrong about him, Katy. Don’t you see it?”
“No, I only see someone who needs to find better things to do than follow me around. Riley, for the love of god, find a girlfriend here and remember I’m your best friend,” I tell him, picking up my book and walking away before he can say anything else to ruin our friendship.
“Whoa, careful with the weeds. You might pull out the actual plant,” Thallon suggests, and I pause, knowing he is right.
“Sorry.” I carry on my work until Thallon’s hand covers mine.
I look up, and his worried eyes meet mine. “What is it?”
“It’s been a hard week. Riley is acting less like my best friend and more like a jealous ex-boyfriend, and I don’t see him like that. Then I ran out of Parma Violet sweets, my Doc Martens are getting grubby and need replacing, and I’m sure I’m failing equestrian studies, because I get the feeling Ayda doesn’t like me.”
“I’m going to need to slow that down,” he chuckles, pulling off his gloves. “So no more sweets, and that makes you mad because?”
“They are my favourites,” I answer.
“Okay, well, we could look in the kitchens for some,” he suggests, trying to make me feel better, but that just makes it worse.
I sigh. “I already did, and they don’t.”
“I’m sorry,” he tells me. “Now, about Riley, he will move on. Just give him time, and Ayda does love you, how couldn’t she?”
“You’re right, it’s just been a bad week,” I say, and he smiles at me.
“We all have those,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair.
“Tell me about your life before here. If you don’t mind,” I ask. “I need a distraction.”
“Alright,” he agrees, crossing his arms and looking out the window of the greenhouse. “I was training to be a pilot, just like my father was. My mum was a gardener, but she died from cancer when I was fifteen, and so I took over her gardens. It’s where I got my love of gardening from. I died a week before my twentieth birthday when a plane exploded as I walked past it.” He stops, and I place my hand on his arm. “Coming to the academy was not what I expected, and I wanted to go home. Eventually I realised I couldn’t and found friends here, but they have all passed the academy or left. When it came to the end of my final year, I was already spending my spare time looking after the gardens, they were a weed-filled mess before, and Master Gabriel offered me the job of gardener. So here we are.”
“So you can’t go back to earth?”
He shakes his head. “I’m immortal and lost in a battle of choice. My place is here, and I feel that in my soul.”
“Thallon, what do you miss most about earth?”
He chuckles, leaning back. “Flying a plane, oddly enough.”
“I think you were always meant to be flying but not with a plane. With your wings,” I tell him, and he grins at me.
“You have me all figured out, Miss Lightson.”
I lower my hand as I chuckle, but he catches it, kissing the tips of my fingers. “I love your laugh.”
“Thallon…” I whisper.
“I know we practically just met, and I might not know what angel I want to be, but I know who I want, and that won’t change. We can take it slow, but give me a chance.”
“I’ve never dated anyone before,” I warn him. “And how Riley is acting, I don’t think I should right now. Plus, I’m practically on a knife’s edge at this academy.”
“Me neither, but I think we can have some kind of agreement with calling it a name if you want.” I can tell he is being honest, and I nod. He leans closer, brushing his lips against mine before pulling back. “Now I know why you always smell of something sweet. The Parma Violets.”
I pull a mocking sad face at him. “Don’t say their names, they are all gone.” We both laugh as we get back to gardening. We both have something new to be happy about this week after all.
Chapter 22
“I get that dark angels love to party, but how does that have to do with actually being a dark angel?” Vesnia questions a guy called Tuke who’s a friend of Henry’s, or at least I’ve seen them talking together, which accounts for some kind of friendship for Henry. I’ve watched him around the academy these past few weeks, and I know he doesn’t let anyone close, not even Jessica, who follows him like a puppy, yapping to get his attention.
“It’s not to give you information on dark angels, but to see who leaves the party and who figures out the truth behind the party,” Tuke comments before taking a deep inhale of his weed-filled roll-up. We aren’t going to get answers from the drunk or drugged angels, that’s for sure. I still keep looking around the room for Henry, but instead, I end up finding Jessica’s eyes staring right back at me.
“Riddles are for losers,” Vesnia mutters and rolls her eyes as Tuke wanders off to no doubt find more drugs or booze.
“Only losers who can’t figure them out think that,” Jessica drawls, and I tense up. Turning around, I almost scream as ice cold beer pours down my face, into my hair, and down my chest and dress. “Whoops. I’m so clumsy these days. You must forgive me.”
“Forgive this, bitch!” Vesnia shouts before tackling Jessica to the floor, and I can’t help but laugh. The angels form a circle around them as they fight, and I’m super impressed by how quick Vesnia pulls a chunk of Jessica’s hair out. I wonder if I should help or stop this as Tuke and Henry appear out of nowhere and split them up. Vesnia is still screaming at Jessica as Tuke drags her out of the party, and Henry leaves Jessica on the floor, crying over her cut lip and missing hair as he steps in front of me.
“Hey, trouble.” He sighs, and I grin. “I have a shower and answers, if you want them.”
“NO! Don’t tell her anything!” Jessica pleads, crawling up off the floor, and I nod once, letting Henry know I’m coming with him. Henry looks back once, and whatever is on his face makes Jessica stop, tears falling from her eyes. Without another word, Henry takes my hand in his and leads me through the party and to his room. Once we are inside, he shows me his bathroom and where the towels are.
“I have a top and shorts you can borrow if you want?” he asks, opening his chest of drawers. “Better than walking back to the academy in a beer-covered dress.”
I tilt my head to the side, running my gaze over his black knee-length shorts and white tee that fits him too well, showing off all his muscles. His hair looks wilder every day I see him at the moment, but his skin looks pale. His eyes have bags under them, and I wonder how well he is sleeping.
What is wrong with my dark angel? “You could always take me back using that shadow thing you did. Is that a power all dark angels have?”
“No, and I’d rather you didn’t talk about my gift,” he says, handing me a pile of clothes and not meeting my eyes. “I never should have shown you what I can do
.”
“I won’t tell, because I have my own secrets and I know how to keep them,” I tell him, feeling my heart beating fast in my chest. I don’t tell anyone about my secrets, especially not a boy who won’t tell me any of his.
“That’s the only reason you’re still alive,” he cruelly says, and I wish he was smiling as he said it. Only he wasn’t, and I don’t doubt he is telling me the truth. Without trusting myself not to say another word, I head into his bathroom. After quickly stripping out the sticky clothes, I fold them and leave them on the toilet. I carefully shower off and wash my beer smelling hair with Henry’s shampoo and then dry off. I slide on Henry’s shirt which falls to my knees and smells way too much like Henry, and I damn well like it. The shorts are a little loose, but once I’ve pulled the strings tighter, they manage to stay up. I run my fingers through my damp hair and stare at myself in the mirror for a second, wondering what I should do next. I look down at the small bin in the room and see dozens of blood covered tissues. Maybe he has a problem with nose bleeds?
Aren’t angels meant to be immortal and never get sick?
“What are dark angels’ powers then?” I ask as I walk out of the bathroom, and Henry doesn’t look up from a big book on his lap. I wonder if his dark angel powers can make him sick somehow, and that’s what’s going on. Not that I’ve seen any other sick angels around now I think about it.
And Henry does seem to hide from the world all of the time.
“Haven’t you figured it out yet?”
“No,” I mutter in annoyance. I pride myself on being smart, and yet somehow I can’t figure what the parties are all about. Ves and I have searched all the rooms we can, questioned all the angels that would talk to us, and yet we don’t see a clear answer. Even then, I prefer dark angel study days to the light angel ones. All we do in that class is meditate, learn hymns and songs about good shit. One day, we even baked cookies to send to earth.
I mean, I’m all for good vibes and karma, but there has to be more to angels.
“Why do dark angels have parties?” he asks me, closing the book and finally looking up at me. I can’t read his ember-filled eyes, even as I want to keep staring. “It’s this simple. Dark angels need to have fun, to party, to lose themselves in something to escape the darkness they willingly walked into. The darkness gives us heightened abilities in the ways of strength, power, speed and in return, we agree to accept who we are now.”
“A dark angel...”
“Darlin’, I knew from the second I saw you that you’d choose to become a dark angel like me. When they take you to the ceremony room, the darkness is going to call you to it like a moth to a flame,” he warns me. “And then, when you’re like me, finally you will understand why I keep you at a distance. You deserve better than me, and that’s why I ignore how you stare.” I blush but hear his next softly spoken words. “I ignore how I stare right back at you with the same thoughts.”
Crossing my arms, I watch him get off the bed and walk to me. “And why does that make you mad?” I ask.
“Everything makes me mad, angry, jealous, possessive and cruel. Darker emotions are our price as much as not being able to lie is a light angel’s price.”
I suck in a deep breath as the room feels flooded with tension and missing air. “All those emotions are normal for a human.”
“But a human can turn them off with a flip of a switch. I will never be able to do that,” he warns me, and now he is so close that our noses are touching. “You should leave.”
“I should,” I totally agree, but my feet stay firmly placed on the floor.
“Dark angels are seductive, but you already know that, don’t you?”
My lips tilt up, and his eyes track the movement like a hawk tracks its prey. “Is this your way of asking if I like you, Henry-boy?”
“Fuck it,” he growls before he kisses me. His lips press against mine with an urgency I didn’t know I could feel through a kiss, but now I do. He deepens the kiss with his tongue as his hands slide under my ass and lift me up. My legs wrap around his waist on instinct as I dive my hands into his hair, moaning at how good our bodies feel pressed together.
The door slams open, and I pull away from Henry to see Riley standing in the doorframe, his eyes like molten lava and heartbreak all in one. Dammit. Henry lets me slowly slide down his body, but his arm stays around my waist, not letting me go to Riley and calm him down.
“Have you heard of knocking?” Henry’s voice is all male anger and possessiveness wrapped in a neat bow.
“Why him?” Riley asks me, ignoring Henry altogether. “You were never the girl guys like him would use and move on from. You deserve more.”
“Careful,” Henry warns, pushing me behind him in one move as tears prick my eyes. It was almost like Henry knew I wouldn’t want Riley to see me breakdown.
Riley’s overdramatic laugh fills the room. “Or fucking what?”
“Try it. I will even give you one free shot, but then your free game,” Henry taunts, and I stare, frozen in horror, as Riley does just that. He takes one large step forward and smacks his fist into Henry’s face, and Henry just laughs before he punches him back. Riley flies across the room from the hit, smacking against the wall.
“Stop!” I scream, running into the middle of them as Riley struggles to get up. I offer a hand to help him, but he glares at me as he gets himself up. His eyes flicker to Henry, and a sneer I’ve never seen on Riley crosses his face.
“I will kill you for this. One day, when you’re not looking. I will fucking kill you.” Riley storms out of the room, and I shout after him, only he decides to ignore me. Vesnia pops her head around the door, a worried look on her face.
“Seems like it’s the night for fights,” she says. “Want to walk back home with me?”
I look back at Henry as he sits on the bed, wiping the blood pouring from his nose, and he looks so pale again. Not meeting my eye, he whispers, “You should leave. I need to be alone.”
“Oh, okay,” I whisper back, feeling more tears waiting to fall. I take my bestie’s hand and close the door behind me as I step out into the corridor. She doesn’t need me to talk as she wraps me into a hug and tells me everything’s going to be okay.
But it’s not okay.
And if Riley doesn’t let this go, it can’t ever be.
Chapter 23
“Is he still ignoring you?” Vesnia asks as we eat breakfast. I chew my toast before leaving the rest of the meal, not feeling hungry anymore. Any mention of the two guys ignoring me makes me feel bad for not telling Thallon about my kiss with Henry. Thallon is a good guy and always honest with me, but I guess we never actually agreed we are dating. Or exclusive for that matter.
Exclusivity would mean telling Thallon the truth about the vampire ghost who haunts my room or my weird crush on the dark angel who is usually mean to me.
“Which one? Riley and Henry haven’t spoken to me in over two months,” I mutter in annoyance. The same can be said for Ren. I would worry he isn’t around if I didn’t see him every so often as I wake up or in the corridors or in the gardens. The problem is, every time he sees me, he disappears, and it’s frustrating. I’ve always made it so, in my life, I would never once get attached to any ghost, and then Ren floats into my life, and I find myself wanting to be close to him and figure him out. I guess if I’m being honest with myself, there is a connection between us that goes unsaid, and I’ve never had that with a ghost before. But in the end, any feelings I may have for him are pointless because he is dead, and one day he will leave, like all the ghosts do, to go to a better or worse place.
The thought of Ren being in hell gives me a lump in my throat I have to swallow. I couldn’t let him go there; he isn’t evil for starters. No matter what Master Gabriel said about vampires, I know he isn’t evil.
“Boys suck,” she says and bumps my shoulder. “You should stick to girls.”
“Of course that would be your advice,” I say around a laugh.
“Being serious though, have you decided which angel you want to be?” she asks as I get up and place my tray on the bed next to her.
“I want to be a dark angel,” I say, and it’s not a decision I’ve come to lightly, but it is one I know is best for me. I’ve always had secrets to hide, and the price of not being able to lie would be a terrible thing for someone like me. The dark has always called to me from the first moment I came here, and the light never did. “I knew from day one, if I’m being honest. What about you?”
“I like them both, so I’m going to make the choice when I stand in front of the fires. I will see who calls to me,” she tells me, and I think that’s a really good decision for her. I think about me and Vesnia having wings soon and actually becoming angels. I’m so excited for us to learn how to fly on our own. As much as I love flying with Ayda, it still would be so cool to do it for myself.
“I’m excited for us both,” I say, and I really mean it. “Now we best get moving to spear class. She asked us to come fifteen minutes earlier last week, remember?”
“Oh shit, yeah, I forgot,” she says and shoves the last bit of toast into her mouth as I slide my trainers on. I soon figured out trainers go better with the sports gear they make us wear now. Vesnia and I head quickly to the gym on the other side of the castle, but we come to a stop when we see everyone is gathered outside.
“Brilliant, now everyone is here, follow me,” Professor Bates says with calculating eyes. She walks us around the gym and to the end of the island where there are some stone steps going down. Nervously I look at Vesnia who shrugs, and then I search the crowd for Riley. He is right in front, and I can just about see his back. I’m hoping to talk to him today because I’ve heard he is sleeping with some of the light angels, and that might mean his silly crush on me is over. Maybe we can go back to being friends again?