“You bitch!” Richard roared as soon as Dane came into view. Next thing she knew, he had his hands wrapped around her throat and she couldn’t breath, no matter how much she tried. In an instant, her lungs burned and her chest throbbed in agony as pain shot through her ribs.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Rich, that’s a woman!” Raymond shot over in a flash and ripped his brother’s rough hands away. He stood in front of Dane and put his hands behind him, keeping a hold of her. She understood this was protective, but it didn’t make any sense. Surely, he knew what she had done by now, and she had no doubt it had been spun to make her sound like the devil incarnate, so he shouldn’t be trying to save her.
“She hit my daughter then she needs to get her ass beat, woman or not!” Richard’s eyes blazed with pure, unabashed hatred. “I’m sure you’d be the same way if she fucking hit Nikki, which she probably does because she’s clearly a fucking animal.” He glared at her, letting her know he wanted to be the one to put the animal down.
“I’d never hit Nicole!” Dane tried to jump over Raymond. She wouldn’t have touched his stupid daughter if she weren’t such a cow. “You don’t know me to say shit like that. I’d never, ever hit Nicole because she’s not awful and rotten on the inside like your fucking daughter is.”
“Danny, stay still.” Raymond held her back.
“I would never…” Dane whispered, her chest heaving as she panted wildly. Her stomach twisted and a lump got stuck in her throat. I’m not a monster. I’m not an animal.
He glanced back at her. “I know.”
Raymond’s belief in her made her belly flip, and she truly didn’t know what to do with such faith. She almost considered telling him that she might be lying, if only to go into more familiar territory of being loathed. After she got hit by a car and knocked unconscious for some hours, she had awoken thinking she had hit Nicole. Of course, Nicole assured her that hadn’t been the case, but in moments of doubt she feared that might not be true. Nicole might’ve been trying to protect her from the truth, somehow feeling she might’ve deserved such treatment for emotionally hurting Dane. There were days when Dane conceded she’d never know the truth, but in her heart, she was certain she’d sooner throw herself in front of another car than harm Nicole or allow someone else to harm Nicole.
“Ray, you’d better move. I will go through you to get to this bitch,” Richard said, pointing a threatening finger at Dane. A vein in his neck bulged and, briefly, Dane imagined it bursting from the rage spiking his blood pressure.
“Calm down. I’m not letting you touch Danny. If you want to go through me, feel free, but I’m not going down easy. This isn’t like when we were kids. So, what’s it going to be?” Raymond squared his shoulders and stared his older brother down.
Richard fumed for a moment, staring through Raymond and right at Dane. She returned the favor, almost wanting him to step over for daring to suggest to Raymond that she’d hit Nicole. Spider came up behind his father and put his hand on his shoulder. Richard turned to look at him.
“Dad, I think there’s more to this than just Danny coming out of nowhere hitting Lil,” Spider said in a low voice. He glanced at Dane and something in his eyes very nearly seemed to understand her. She hated to think what the hell he had heard Lillian say for him to dare try to be sympathetic with her.
“There is. There’s a lot you don’t know,” Beth said to her uncle, moving to stand by Richard.
She patted Richard on the chest, but that didn’t seem to calm him much. He continued to sneer at Dane, as if she were some wild beast he wanted the pleasure of taking down. Beth shook her head, but Spider held his father firmly.
“She’s right, Dad. There’s so much you don’t know,” Spider said in an oddly gentle tone.
“This doesn’t change a Goddamn thing. She hit my fucking daughter, and I’m going to fucking hurt this dyke bitch. Fucking unnatural whore,” Richard said, spitting in Dane’s direction. Well, it was a bit unsettling to see she was right about the homophobia. It made her wonder if he might talk about Nicole behind her back and maybe he was where Lillian learned it was all right to do.
“You say that now, Dad, but I think you’ll change your mind. Just hear me out. Hear me and Beth out and find out a little bit more about what’s going on. Come on, we’ll go talk a bit.” Spider gently pulled his father away, going toward the edge of the camp. Beth followed them, while Raymond turned to look at her.
Raymond examined her face. “Junior hit you?”
Dane shrugged. “He popped me one to the cheek.” She didn’t think he needed to know anything more than that. She didn’t want his sympathy any more than she wanted anyone else’s.
His gaze narrowed. “And why did he do that?”
“You’ve seen why, I’m sure.”
“And why did you do that?” he pressed a bit, leaning over, almost looming over her.
Dane shrugged again. “Long story that probably won’t make any sense to you. You probably won’t believe me either.”
He gave her a deadpan expression. “Try me.”
Dane ran a hand through her hair, feeling like there was no getting out of this. She wasn’t sure why she didn’t want to tell him. It wasn’t like she thought he’d side with his brother and want to kill her when he heard the tale. It wasn’t like she cared about letting him know what type of person Lillian really was. She hated to think it was her street-thinking kicking in and she didn’t want to be a snitch. Shaking that away, she opened her mouth and hoped she did the right thing.
“Lillian told me something she once said that led to a lot of pain for Nick and she didn’t seem too remorseful about it. In fact, she seemed proud of it, and I couldn’t stand the thought of someone being proud they hurt Nick, especially someone Nick loves so much. I was hitting her before I realized it and would probably still be hitting her if Junior hadn’t tackled me off her. Messed up, huh?” A hollow laugh escaped her.
His brow furrowed as he took in her words. “You hit Nikki’s cousin defending Nikki’s honor?”
There was another shrug. “Something like that.”
He let loose a long sigh. “Look, I know there’s a lot more to this story, and I expect you to tell it if you want my support. I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, because I know my family can be…difficult.” He glanced over in the direction of his brother.
“I appreciate that, and I promise, I’ll tell you what I can. But, right now, I really want to sit down.” Her leg and ribs needed a breather. She really wished she had some ice, if only to numb her throbbing face.
Walking further into camp, she felt a joy that was probably unholy just from the sight of one of those stupid folding stools. As she went to sit down, she forgot all about it as a pile of wood by a tree caught her attention. It sat as if nothing more than a pile of trash, splinters and strings in the dirt and grass. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she moved closer and saw it was exactly what she thought it—her guitar.
“My…my…” Dane sniffed as she bent down and picked up the neck of her guitar. It was cracked, but the body of the instrument was ruined. The back had a hole in it, undoubtedly from where it had impacted the tree. It was separated from the neck, dangling by a couple of strings that hadn’t pulled away. She cradled it to her like an old friend.
“Junior…” Nicole said, easing over, approaching with caution. Her head was bowed a bit, bent in guilt, like this was entirely her fault.
“I figured,” Dane grumbled, running her hand through her hair. She shouldn’t feel as upset about this as she did, but there was still sentiment in the damned thing. There was a reason why she still walked around with the damned thing, after all. “Fuck,” she muttered, leaving her hand in her hair.
Something bubbled into her throat and she did her best to swallow it down, but it remained lodged there, threatening to choke her. Gritting her teeth, she tried to let go of the stupid guitar, but found she couldn’t. It was part of her, a rotten, broken part, like so many ot
her pieces that composed who she was. She wondered if she sat there forever if somehow miraculously everything would get better.
“Come on, sweetie. Everything’s packed. We’re leaving,” Nicole said as gently and as calmly as possible.
Dane nodded, but kept looking at her guitar, clutching it to her chest. Nicole walked off, backing away with her head down, and Dane noted Nicole didn’t use the words, “we’re going home.” I may have fucked up, but I think I’d do that shit again. That bitch could’ve gotten Nick raped. Fuck her. She knew that was an extreme, but it was a possibility because the guy shoved his finger in her after she had repeatedly told him no. Dane wouldn’t apologize for what she did—ever. Someone needed to stand up to Lillian, especially if she had been doing stupid, spiteful things like that all of her life.
What other things has that rotten bitch said that got Nicole hurt? Nicole would have no idea why. What else had the cousins allowed to slide because they didn’t want to crush Nicole, not knowing they’d aided in crushing her anyway? Who else had said things, done things to Nicole like Lillian had done? How could they hurt such a precious angel? Bastards.
“Come on, baby,” Nicole softly urged, wrapping her arm around Dane’s shoulder. She eased by Dane, going to open the car door for her. Dane blinked, like she didn’t understand the world around her anymore.
Dane found herself clutching the busted guitar even tighter, making sure it didn’t get left behind. She wasn’t sure why, but it seemed like the thing to do. She turned to go to the car and found herself face-to-face with Junior. His family and Beth were a few feet away, while Raymond and Nicole waited in the car. She stared him down for a few seconds with her head held high, even if her cheek felt like it weighed a ton.
“Hope you feel good about yourself. This guitar is the only thing my mother ever gave me. The only time that she showed me she saw me. And you don’t get that because you come from a family that’s so fucking perfect your sister talks about a cousin who adores her behind her back and gets that cousin assaulted. You hit me. You hurt me, so you could say you protected Lillian, but remember your actions also show that she can tell the next asshole that comes along that your precious cousin Nikki likes being fucked in the ass. She encourages people to do shitty things to Nick, and she talks about Nick like she’s a fucking whore, probably getting off on having people think Nick is a whore. But, I guess that’s okay because she’s your sister and Nicole’s only a damned dyke anyway, right?”
Junior flinched and glanced back. For a moment, she saw regret in his eyes, regret because he knew it was true. They all knew what Lillian did and no one had ever said a word to Nicole. She spat at his feet.
“Fuck her for saying all that shit, but fuck you more for never telling Nicole when you claim you want to protect her. Fuck you even harder if you do that shit yourself, because Nicole fucking loves you and you’re nothing but a bastard.” Dane turned and walked away.
She didn’t wait to hear what he had to say, even though he didn’t seem to have anything to say. Dane doubted he or his brother talked about Nicole considering they hadn’t talked to her like Lillian did, but still, she believed that something had led Lillian to believe her behavior was all right. She blamed him, along with the rest of his family. So, fuck them.
Dane hopped in the back of the SUV. Raymond was behind the wheel, and Nicole rode shotgun. Dane sat her guitar next to her as if it were a small child. She almost buckled it in, but caught herself. She had the urge to put it in its case and bury it in the backyard, if she still had a backyard.
“You okay?” Nicole asked, turning to look at Dane. “Danny, what happened to your face?”
She rolled her eyes, unable to deal with denial right now. “You know what happened to my face.”
Nicole swallowed so hard it seemed to echo through the car. “I’m sorry Junior hit you. When?”
“After he tackled me.”
Nicole frowned, shaking her head. She massaged her temple, as if trying to arrange her thoughts. Dane wondered what was going through her mind, but she had a feeling she was going to get a piece of it any moment.
“He shouldn’t have done that, even if you did hit Lillian. And why did you hit Lil? What’s wrong with you?” She was partially yelling, partially crying with her hands flying, and that vein in her forehead making itself known.
“I hit Lil, because I don’t like the things she says about you,” Dane stated through gritted teeth. Just mentioning that bitch’s name made her want to hit Lillian again, especially if Nicole was going to defend her.
The reply actually gave Nicole pause, almost as if she had suspicions. She dispelled that with a shake of her head. “What things? Danny, she’s probably just playing around. I mean, we’re cousins. You see we joke on each other all the time. I’m sure she was only kidding.” Her voice was quieter now, but determined to make sense of the whole matter, as best she could, without accepting that Lillian was at fault. But, the unshed tears in her eyes told another story. Dane’s heart hurt for her love.
Glancing at her guitar, Dane felt fresh indignation flare in her. Her stomach twisted and her neck tensed, hearing her lover defend that harpy. She couldn’t believe those people actually allowed Nicole to believe Lillian cared for her at all. They had allowed Nicole to make a fool out of herself. She wouldn’t do the same or give them another opportunity to do so.
“She wasn’t joking when she asked me if we had a quickie in the woods. She wasn’t joking when she said you do that sort of thing all the time with your other lovers. She wasn’t joking when she implied you had slept with a long list of people. She wasn’t joking when she told me she encouraged your fucking boyfriend to fuck you in the ass because you like that sort of thing,” Dane hissed through gritted teeth. She might never be able to open her mouth again.
“Danny,” Nicole gasped and flinched. Her emerald eyes were wide and aghast. She turned around and curled into a ball as if trying to disappear into the seat. “Lil would never…” she whispered, sounding so small that her girlfriend almost felt bad for saying it. Almost.
“Yeah, Lil would,” Dane growled. “So, there you have it. She said that, and I sort of snapped.”
“Danny, getting jealous is no reason—” Raymond tried to jump in, but didn’t get far.
Danny cut him off with a loud laugh. “Jealous? Can’t say don’t make me laugh, because you already did that. I’m not jealous. Half the shit she said was clearly shit and the other half were lies. You two fucking defend her all you want, and think what you will, but if I had the chance, I’d do it again. And you know why, Nick.”
The ride back was uncomfortably quiet. No one said a word and no one moved. Raymond didn’t even turn on the radio. Nicole stared out of the window, still curled up with the occasional tear rolling down her cheek. Dane looked at her guitar, a tear in her eye that refused to fall down her bruised cheek. Hours passed in oppressive, bone-crushing silence.
Nicole didn’t even spare her a glance as they pulled up to Raymond’s house. Nicole dashed inside, either running to her mother for comfort or going to her room, since it had a door to keep Dane out. Dane couldn’t chase her, not with her ribs and leg feeling like they were under siege by a thousand thorns. Raymond got out as if he was going to go after Nicole, but he paused and gave Dane a look. She shrugged and then he was gone, following his daughter.
“Hope he can talk some sense into her. Of course, there’s always the chance he didn’t believe me either,” Dane grumbled, as she pretty much slid out of her seat. She winced as her feet touched the ground. “Hope Kathleen won’t mind me borrowing some painkillers.” What a time to be fucking sober.
She reached for her broken guitar for reasons beyond her and dragged it behind her, reminding her of a dog with its tail between its legs. Maybe because I’m in the Goddamn doghouse. Limping, she entered the mansion and wondered where the hell they might keep the painkillers. Scratching her head, she didn’t get a chance to figure it out as the lady of the hous
e approached her.
“Danny, what the hell is going on? Nicole ran by me like her butt was on fire, and Raymond was right behind her without a word of explanation! I swore she was crying!” Kathleen shouted and then she gasped. “What happened to your face? Have you been fighting?”
Dane waved the question off. “Long story. Got any Advil or something like that?”
“Come, let me look at you.” Kathleen waved her closer. Dane didn’t have the brainpower to object or wonder what the hell was going on. She hoped there were painkillers in her future if she complied.
***
Nicole wasn’t sure why she ran to her room, but it seemed like the best plan for the moment. She didn’t want to see anyone, didn’t want anyone to see her, especially Danny. Right now, she felt ready to throw up, but she wasn’t sure why. It could’ve been because she didn’t believe Danny, but worse, it could be because she did believe Danny.
Whatever the case, it had her head pounding. She massaged her temples and tried her best to stop crying, but the tears continued to flow. Lying down on her bed didn’t help, as her brain felt bombarded by everything that had happened. Beyond what Danny had said, she kept thinking about the fact that her actions had gotten Danny hurt.
“Why does every time I try to do something with her end with her being hurt by someone? What the hell does she stick around for? I keep fucking up with her when all I want is for her to be happy. Surely, her life would be better without me, and I know she has to have realized that,” Nicole sobbed, wiping away her tears.
She couldn’t help feeling like a hypocrite, along with the guilt. After all, she had once tried to show Danny that her family wasn’t so bad and she should give them a chance, only to discover her own family was far from perfect and didn’t deserve much of a chance. Maybe all families suck. Hadn’t Mina told me that before?
“Nikki,” Raymond called, while lightly rapping on Nicole’s door. It wasn’t necessary since the door was open. She hoped he hadn’t heard her talking to herself.
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