by M. E. Rhines
“Calm down, my dearest. They aren’t repaying me. Their fate is their reparation to the ocean herself. A penance for deeds done during their lifetime.”
The news did little to calm me. The sins I committed under Mother’s reign were worthy of far worse than the fate befallen on these creatures.
“Then,” I started, struggling to voice the thought, “this is my fate. One day I’ll find myself peddling beads and rounds of seaweed for scraps, all while wandering about in a ghostly form?”
Our destinies will dance together.
Mother’s words came back to me with a debilitating dizziness. Was she referring to this place? Would we both be committed to this life, surviving somewhere between the land of the living and the land of the dead, serving a snake-loving sea witch for eternity?
In truth, my deeds seemed angelic when compared to Mother’s. Whatever sentence befell me, hers would be far worse. I was wrong when I thought what she suffered now was harder than dying. Mother would sooner air herself out than become a servant for anyone. In death, she would have no choice. All I could do was delay the inevitable for as long as possible.
My fists clenched at my side, a new wave of determination barreling into me. I had to find Lennox and get to Finfolkaheem. As soon as I smoothed things over with King Odom, I would find some way to fix Mother. It would be no simple feat, but I was resolved to finding some way of restoring her crown to her head, the one that would grant her immortality.
“Do not commit yourself to purgatory just yet,” Mami said firmly as she waggled a finger at me. “I brought you here to repair your soul, if you’ll recall. You are not condemned to punishment for sins you committed in a former life.”
I held my arms out at my sides. “This is the same life, the same body, in which I committed my misdeeds.”
Mami Watta tapped her chin as she observed me. “Is it really? Have you not changed, grown so much since then? Your struggle is heart wrenching to watch, Angelique. You want to do better, no, you know you must do better than the example you’ve been set.”
“What do you know of the role models in my life?”
“Only what I can feel from you. I won’t pretend to understand it all. I don’t know who your parents are or what they’ve done to you, but I can feel it, dearest. Your spirit yearns for forgiveness.”
A flutter started in my chest, another flicker of hope. This time, I did not send it back down. “How can I obtain it?”
“First, I will remove the darkness from your core.”
I blanched. “Will it hurt?”
“Not physically, no. But you will come face to face with those you’ve hand a hand in victimizing. Your pride will be your toughest barrier, because once they come to you, you will need to ask for their compassion.”
My pride was of no consequence. The humans I’d murdered, the mermaids I scoffed at while Mother starved them, they had every right to hate me. I was remorseful for my part in their suffering, to the point it sickened me to think about it.
“They won’t give it,” I insisted. “None of them should forgive me.”
“The dead have no reason to hold a grudge, and as for those still alive… I think you’ll find them to be more reasonable than you may give them credit for.”
If she were right, there was hope for me. A hope for a less self-deprecating life and a more promising afterlife. Mother, however, was doomed. She would never repent for her atrocities. Queen Calypso was too full of entitlement and hurt to see any wrong in the things she had done. All she had was the life presented to her now, and I would be damned if I would let her suffer through it the way she would suffer after.
For now, though, I could save myself.
“I’m prepared to confront them,” I said with conviction. “Let their judgement land as it may.”
Mami Watta smiled wide, then slid her arm around my shoulders to guide me forward. “Let’s continue then, shall we?”
Together, we made our way into the kingdom. The drumming grew louder until we came to a wide circle in the center of the market, lush with green and purple beds of mossy seaweed. In the center, a group of spirits banged their bare hands on top of wooden goblet drums decorated with intricate carvings and slung with ropes. Their ghostly hands came down with expert skill, colliding with tough, white material to send rhythmic percussions into the open water.
My head and hips started to bob and sway, and Mami Watta clapped her hands in tune. “They’re called djembe drums,” she explained. “Their music invites peace and encourages a positive emotional state. It’s the least I can do for my wards. The soul, it craves music at a basic, primitive level.”
“These ghosts… they must’ve been musicians in their former life,” I said, trying to be heard over the sound.
Mami nodded. “They were. Would you like to try?”
“Oh, no. Thank you, but I’ve never played drums. I do have a guitar back home that I taught myself to play. We recovered it from one of the human ships that sank near our kingdom.”
“Is that so?” She snapped her fingers, motioning for one of the mermaids to stop playing. “Fetch us one, won’t you?”
The faded mermaid brushed aside her blue hair, then disappeared into a shack. She returned quickly with a small guitar in hand. When she handed it to me, the faintest hint of a frown twitched on her lips. Even without eyes, she watched me, the blackness blasting my skin with a burst of cold.
I blinked at her, tossing about the idea of using my telepathy. My gut, it nagged at me, telling me this mermaid meant to warn me off. Then again, if she served under Mami, it stood to reason she may not be trustworthy. Perhaps she sought to fill me with an unfounded doubt, to prevent me from obtaining my absolution.
Curiosity was usually my downfall. Once again, it won out. I opened my mind to invite her thoughts in, prepared to shut her out again if necessary, but all that moved between us was static. Her face tightened, as if trying to fight through the interference.
“You can’t commune telepathically with the dead, dear,” Mami Watta interrupted. The sea witch narrowed her gaze on the ghost in front of me. The mermaid shrank back, releasing the guitar and returning to her drum. “Their brain waves are just active enough to keep them useful.”
A shudder crawled up my spine. I wasn’t buying it. That mermaid was a spirit, but her capacities were intact. She wanted to tell me something.
Mami gestured at the acoustic instrument in my hands and said, “Now, then. Play us a tune, won’t you, dear?”
The drumming stopped, and I looked around. An audience gathered, watching me with their empty sockets. I picked at the strings and twirled the pegs, careful to tune it just right.
This was the first opportunity I had to play in front of anyone since Mother lost her throne during Fawna’s merling shower. If I was honest, I was a showman at heart. I relished in the way my music and song seemed to captivate those around me. Now that most of my family lived on land, no one seemed interested in hearing from me.
“I’m a bit rusty,” I warned.
“Aren’t we all? Go on. We’re dying to hear your heart.”
From memory, my fingertips found the right frets, sliding the length in a graceful dance as my other hand strummed the cords. A familiar song filled the ocean, the same notes I played countless times without ever knowing their origin. My voice cracked, out of form from lack of practice, but I found the smooth, velvety rhythm again with ease.
I sang about sailors swimming to their death, about love as deep as the darkest caverns in the ocean. Hummed about the power of the heart and the vulnerability of the broken. Everything I knew and wished I didn’t filled the water just like before—with meaning this time because I now understood the words I sang. A newfound passion coated the lyrics.
It was different this way. The words didn’t come from my mouth, but from the heart beating in my chest, filled with angst and confusion. Turbulence and regret. I sounded different, too. With a sharp edge layered in my voice, more wor
n and experienced. In that moment, I realized Mami was right. I truly wasn’t the same person who ruled beside and under Queen Calypso.
“That’s it.” The powerful matriarch pressed her lips to my ear and whispered, “Let it out, sweet thing.”
I almost didn’t feel the cloak she set on my shoulders until a sharp wind frayed as it was ripped back off again. A fist smashed into the soundboard resting against my torso, straight through the cords. The guitar crumbled in my hands, shards of wood popping at a cluster of bubbles left in the impact’s wake. Mami Watta’s scream muted mine, and I looked up just in time to see her falling away from me.
“Damn it, Angelique,” Lennox shouted, his face as red as a strand of nori. “I told you to stay put!” He held Mami at arm’s length, his fingers curled tight around her elbow. The snake hissed and slithered away from him, moving down to wrap around her stomach.
“Lennox,” I gasped. “What are you doing?”
The dead things around us circled, poised to pounce on the intruder. “You know this Fin-man?” Mami shrieked the accusation.
“Why couldn’t you listen to me?” Lennox demanded, ignoring the mermaid trying to wiggle away from his iron grip. “Just once, Angelique.”
A scorching heat shot up the back of my neck. I reached out for Mami, but he snatched her away. “There’s no need to be so rough, Lennox. She’s just an old mermaid!”
“She’s anything but,” he countered. “This creature is nothing more than a vile sea witch. A treacherous snake with a fancier tail.”
“She’s trying to help me.”
He glanced at my tail, the re-fused flesh of my fork barely registering. “Whatever assistance she’s offered you is not worth the price you’ll pay.”
“You’re wrong! Mami Watta doesn’t want anything in return.”
Lennox’s jaw flexed. “You’re being naïve. Think about it, Angelique, even in your kingdom when has anyone ever offered something for nothing? As terrible as your former ruler might have been, you have no idea what kind of dangers lurk in these waters. I’m trying to keep you safe.”
Mami Watta scoffed, her nostrils flaring as she snorted. “A Fin-man acting as a guardian? My, I thought I’d seen everything by my age.”
“Shut up, witch. This doesn’t concern you.”
“Angelique,” Mami set her steady gaze on me, wincing as Lennox tightened his grip on her arm. “Do you remember when I told you Fin-man were forbidden in this kingdom?”
I thought back, recalling the strange announcement, and nodded. “He’s from a warring clan and you’re a protector of the ocean. It didn’t seem strange that two such opposite wouldn’t get along.”
“And yet you led him straight to me?” The muscles in her neck stuck out as she summoned some inner strength. Enough to bring her free hand slicing down into Lennox’s forearm with enough force to make him shout and drop her arm to tend to his own.
The ghostly mermaids took advantage of his distraction, using it against him. In a flash, they slammed him to the ground face-first, piling on top of him until he was securely subdued. He thrashed beneath their tails, but the minions held strong. Mami drew in a deep breath before directing her scorn to me.
“You’ve found a false friend in him, Angelique. Nothing more. He will use you until his purpose has been served, then cast you aside like a snail does when he outgrows his shell. Or worse yet, send you topside to his people’s island to slave away.”
Lennox’s muffled voice yelled into the sand, “Don’t listen to her. She’s not what she seems.”
I tugged at the cloak around my shoulders, moving my gaze between the two. Doubt itched at the back of my mind, making my stomach swirl. Both so incredibly important to me for such different reasons, and both claiming to have my best interests at heart. A witch and a warrior, dueling for my trust and I had no idea what direction to swim in.
How had the blood between them grown so cold?
“You know him?” I finally asked Mami.
She lifted her chin. “That makes no difference. I know his kind, and that is enough.”
“That’s not enough. Merfolk who knew Queen Calypso might think me a murderous criminal simply because I’m from her clan. The association doesn’t make it so.” I turned to Lennox. “And you? Do you know her?” I didn’t miss the side-look I earned from Mami by mentioning Mother’s name.
He spit a pile of sand from his tongue. “I know she’s been murdering the people of Finfolkaheem for centuries. That’s all I need to know to label her as my enemy.”
“Is this true?”
“Only if they trespass in my kingdom,” she answered. “Finfolk may use the rest of the ocean as their battlefield but here, on the little stretch of seafloor I call mine, I demand peace. If they come searching for blood, I take theirs.”
Their hatred for one another thickened the water around us, the blackness of it nearly palpable. A vicious history between his people and this sea witch could not be wiped away on my account, and I couldn’t blame either of them for their spite against the other. Yet here I was, stuck in the middle and unable to choose a side.
“This is ridiculous,” Mami huffed. “Angelique, my offer still stands. I will help you if you still wish me to, however, this Fin-man is destined to meet the same end as the rest of his kind who trespass here.”
“What does that mean?”
Lennox looked up at me, his face tight. “She means she’s going to kill me.”
A jolt of panic sent electricity to my tail. The upset in my stomach roiled, making me heave. “But… he only intruded to find me! This wasn’t an invasion; it was a rescue mission.”
“I can’t fathom a Fin-man being capable of such loyalty, my dear. Even to you, as lovely as you are. Nor can I find it in myself to let even one Fin-man pass on the remote possibility that it’s true. It would set a dangerous precedent.”
“Please,” I begged. “You can’t!”
Mami waved her hand, a silent order to her wards to hoist Lennox to his feet. He stood tall and proud without a hint of fear. One of the mermaids jerked his hands behind his back, binding him with rope. None of them seemed to notice his dagger falling to the seafloor as they hauled him off, Mami Watta close behind.
With his feet, he slid a soft pile of sand to cover it and nodded at me. “Swim away, Angelique. As fast and as far as you can. To home or Finfolkaheem, it doesn’t matter which. Get away from Mami Watta.”
“Can’t I at least see him for a moment?”
“You haven’t even touched your shrimp.” Mami Watta frowned from across the dining table, ignoring my plea. “Don’t you like it?”
A slight shimmer left in the wake of my tears still blurred my vision. I rubbed at it as I sniffled, a blubbering mess. “I’m not hungry. Perhaps I should bring some to Lennox. He hasn’t eaten in a while.”
“No reason to waste food on the dead.”
“He isn’t dead yet,” I reminded her. “Starving him seems particularly cruel.”
She picked a piece of flesh from her teeth, then clicked her tongue. “How much do you know of Finfolk, Angelique?”
I dropped my gaze to the plate of food in front of me. “Not much. Although, I do understand what troubles you about them. I share many of your concerns.”
“Their people, including your Lennox, live for bloodshed. By the time a merling is ten, he’s slaughtered his first whale as a show of strength. There is no reason too small to send them into a pillaging frenzy. Their need for conflict is surpassed only by their obsession with silver. We can’t blame them entirely, no. Hatred and a volatile nature are bred into them. Still, we can’t sit by and watch them devour the whole ocean with their greed, can we? You’re smart enough to see that, I can tell.”
The cold metal of Lennox’s knife rested against my tail, hidden from view by the table. While she and her ghosts tied Lennox to a piece of jagged coral, I dug up the dagger and was careful to keep it from view, pressed between my tail and the inside of my arm as we sw
am to Mami Watta’s castle, which amounted to nothing more than a sunken pirate ship.
They left him there, exposed to the whole ocean and its elements. She explained they would execute him in the morning, at first light, and offer him as a sacrifice to the ocean. He would be thrown into an underwater volcano, his hands and legs bound so he couldn’t swim away. Lennox would burn to death as the boiling water licked his flesh, feeling every ounce of pain his people had caused so many as retribution for his clan’s crimes.
I shuddered at the thought, pressing my lips into a tight line. “I suppose it’s possible my compassion could interfere with my better judgement, but isn’t there another way? By killing them, can you call yourself any better than what they are?”
“Do not speak to me as if you are so self-righteous, my dear.” Mami blotted her chin with a napkin, peering at me until I shifted in place. “Remember, I can see into your soul. Your guilty conscience speaks to the things you have done.”
“You’ve found the difference between the two of us, then. I understand my wrongdoings while you try to justify yours. While I repent, you preach.”
Mami brought a surprisingly heavy fist down onto the table, wobbling it. China clattered against the wood, the way my nerves rattled against my skin. I met her gaze with a seething glare that matched the intensity of her own. She might be a powerful and gifted sea witch tasked with ushering the dead to their doom, but she wouldn’t intimidate me. I refused to allow it. Queen Calypso’s presence was far darker and more frightening, and I had faced it since I was a merling.
As much as it irked her, Mami Watta didn’t scare me.
“You,” she said and pointed a bony finger, “are not as wise as you believe yourself to be. I hold no remorse for the decisions I make for the good of the ocean, and I won’t apologize to you or anyone else for them.”
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll end up like them?” I gestured toward the ghostly merfolk standing guard on the deck of her boat.