by L. C. Davis
"Please, call me Ulric. Everyone does."
I smiled thinly. "In that case, Ulric, I'd like to go through with it as soon as possible. Before I lose the nerve."
"That can be arranged," he said. "If you're sure."
"The hunter's moon isn't getting any further away and I don't think Remus is any closer to making his choice between Victor and Sebastian. If I'm the only chance we have at stopping the Patriarch, we have to move quickly."
A strange look passed over his face. Sadness, I realized a moment later. "Did I say something?"
"No, no," he said with a low chuckle. "It's just that you reminded me so much of your grandfather just then. I'll have everything arranged. Are there any auspicious astrological correspondences we should try to observe for the funeral?"
"None Victor doesn't already know about. I've had enough auspiciousness for one lifetime. I'd at least like to go to my grave without worrying about which direction the stars are pointing in."
"Understandable," he said, growing serious. "You do understand that if this works, you will be responsible for Prentice's death as well as the Patriarch's?"
"I know," I said quietly. "I'm counting on it. There's just one thing I need you to promise me, a burden I can't put on anyone else's shoulders."
He gave me a silent nod to go ahead.
"After this is all said in done, after the other hunters are no longer a threat, I need you to promise that you'll kill me," I said calmly. "Tear me open so my heart is exposed and burn me in direct sunlight. We can still technically be killed if we're just torn apart, but that's supposedly the only way our souls can be released."
His eyes widened slightly. "Even Hugh never told me that. You're sure that will work?"
"At the very least, I'm sure I won't come back after that," I said darkly. "I've seen it happen once before."
He waited expectantly and I sighed. "My father. That's how we found him. It was obvious that another hunter did it, but no one could ever figure out who it was."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I don't remember much about him, but from the way Prentice tells it he was even worse than the others," I admitted. "Just promise me that you'll do it. Even if my soul doesn't make it through ascension, I know I can hang on long enough to get the job done if through sheer hatred alone, but I can't go on as one of those things. Walking around like some suburban zombie, buying groceries and waving to the neighbors all the while knowing I don't even have a heartbeat."
"I give you my word," Ulric said solemnly. "But if I may also give you a word of advice I know your grandfather would have approved of, love is a far more powerful motivator than hate. You still love Prentice or you wouldn't be able to hate him so fiercely and the wounds he's dealt you wouldn't sting so much more than the others. If you do this because of your hatred for him, your love for him will make you falter in the end. Instead, do this out of love for the person he once was. Do this for the man you fell in love with."
Tears stung my eyes, so I turned away from him and took up renewed interest in the garden. "The man I loved is gone."
"Perhaps most of him is, but a portion of the soul always lingers," he said gently. "The soul is, after all, immortal."
"Is that what you really believe?"
"It's what your grandfather believed and that's good enough for me. Believe it or not, he was a man of great faith and even greater wisdom."
"He was a heretic," I muttered. "The Family would have gladly burned him at the stake if he wasn't holding the Patriarch's energy hostage."
Ulric laughed. "The most devout believers usually are branded heretics by those whose faith is in religion rather than a living, breathing entity. Heretics push us to challenge our narrow conceptions and glimpse the broader truths behind them."
I eyed him suspiciously. "You spent a lot of time with my grandfather."
For the first time since I'd met him, Ulric gave me a wide, genuine smile. "We should head inside, Arthur. There's a funeral to plan."
Chapter 22
REMUS
All the Wolves with the exception of Victor and Foster--the only two I had yet to see actually break a sweat--were busy digging an eight-foot hole in the middle of Clara's perfect garden. It was the only place on the Lodge grounds that received direct sunlight at nine in the morning, which was a requirement for a hunter funeral, according to Arthur. It was the exact time at which the Patriarch's beloved son had been raised to become the first hunter, and the only celestial observance Arthur had insisted upon.
It seemed reasonable enough, but I was sure that was of little comfort to Clara, who stood watching with a grief-stricken expression as Jason plucked one of her rose bushes out of the earth and unceremoniously tossed it aside. "Are you okay?" I asked softly.
"Of course," she said, chewing on another one of her painted pink nails.
"Keep that up and you'll be left with stumps," I warned her.
She looked down at her hands in horror at what she had done and quickly tucked both of them into the pockets of her high-waisted silk trousers. "It's just a garden," she said in a dismissive tone that wasn't fooling anyone. The primmer her accent became, the wilder her eyes got. "Flowers can grow back."
"That garden is your baby and we're digging a grave in it," I said flatly.
She let out a trembling sigh. "All I can say is, this had better work. Hey," she yelled in a sharp voice, pointing at Jason. "You put those azaleas back, they're not part of this! And keep your grubby hands where I can see them."
Reassured that Clara was going to be alright, I wandered away to find Victor. Arthur had been given the option to come outside if he wanted, but the idea of digging his own grave wasn't quite appealing enough to entice him out of his cell. I thought Victor might be with him, but I found him in his usual chair in the lobby, poring over his plans. He had been carefully documenting and strategizing everything since Arthur had agreed to go through with ascension. The only other time I had seen someone attack a subject with such studious focus was when Hunter had been preparing for the spell that had kept the Lodge safe from the Family all this time. The correspondences and words were different, but the ritual devotion was the same.
"You really will do anything to avoid getting your hands dirty, won't you?" I teased, falling into the chair across from him.
Victor looked up at me with a distant smile before turning back to the papers. He had been avoiding me ever since our three-way shower and judging from Sebastian's sour mood, I wasn't the only one. Our time before Arthur's funeral was limited, and despite Victor's reassurances, I knew the chances of it going well were just about as good as the chances of it going wrong. This was a hail Mary and we all knew it.
"Vic, we need to talk."
This time when he looked up, I had his full attention. "Have you come to a decision?"
"No, and that's the problem," I said, leaning in. "You said at Steven's ceremony that you had a plan B."
"I do."
"Well, my best friend is about to go to his grave so now seems like as good of a time as any to tell me what it is."
He sighed, dropping his pen on the table. Victor always made notes in pen rather than pencil. He was just that kind of confident--or cocky. It rolled towards the edge and I caught it before it could fall off, frowning when my thumb brushed against something across something etched into the silver coating. It was the same silver pen Victor had given me to sign our contract with, but it was the first time that I noticed the engraving. "To my better half. -S"
"Sebastian gave this to you?"
"Years ago."
"You only use it for important things," I realized aloud. "What was the occasion?"
"My Master's degree," he replied, folding his hands in front of him.
I bit my lip. "Victor, please don't push him away because of what happened between the three of us. You need each other now more than ever."
"I'm not pushing anyone away."
"No? You're telling me you slept on the couch be
cause of the superior back support?"
"As a matter of fact, it's very comfortable." He cast a glance over his shoulder to make sure we were alone. "Believe it or not, it has nothing to do with what happened the other day."
"So you have been avoiding us."
He rolled his eyes. "I thought you wanted to know about the plan?"
"I do, but I first I have to know if we're okay. Even if we aren't, I have to know that you and Sebastian are."
Victor raked a hand through his hair and sighed. "We are, or at least we will be in time. I just needed some space to come to terms with this plan."
"That doesn't sound good. The things you can come to terms with are usually bad enough."
"You're not going to like it," he admitted. "That's why I was hoping to avoid telling you what it is until I was sure we'd have to use it."
"I don't like this plan either," I reminded him. "The one where Arthur dies becoming the very thing he's been resisting his entire life. How much worse can yours be?"
He leaned back in his chair and thought about it for a few moments, obviously trying to decide whether telling me was worth the trouble I might cause. "The moon wants you to choose which branch in the Kingdom of Night to save so she doesn't have to. By choosing me you'll save the vampires and by choosing Sebastian you'll save the wolves."
"That's the idea," I muttered. "What does that have to do with plan B?"
He shrugged. "Plan B is that you choose the wolves."
I swallowed hard. He was right, it was the obvious choice, but knowing that I was in any way responsible for the death of the entire vampire race was unbearable. Especially since Sarah was one of them.
"There has to be another way, Victor."
"I hope there is. I hope we can stop the Patriarch before that happens, but if we can't, then this is our only option."
"It's not that simple, Victor," I murmured. "The moon told me something else, something I didn't tell you."
He sat forward and listened intently.
I cleared my throat and tried to bide some time, but ultimately ended up blurting out, "You're not just representing the vampires in all this, Victor. You have a vampire soul."
His reaction was not the one I had expected. He didn't seem surprised. In fact, he didn't even seem phased.
"Well, I'm glad you told me."
"Wait, you knew? How?"
He gave me a look. "Is that really important right now?"
"Of course it is!"
He sighed, taking off his glasses. Ever since Ulric had told me how much Victor reminded him of himself, the evidence was everywhere. "By now I'm sure you know about the vampires I killed. The ones who murdered our parents and would have killed Sebastian and myself?"
"Yes," I admitted. "Clara gave me the abridged version."
"Well, one of them put a curse on me before he died. I remember something burning deep in my chest and I collapsed. That's all I remember, but I haven't been the same from that moment on. That's about the time where I started having issues with shifting," he said quietly. "So no, I can't say I'm surprised that's what the curse turned out to be. I've always had my suspicions."
"How can you be so calm about this?" I asked, shaking my head. "How can you talk about this like it's nothing when it changes everything?"
"It's news to you, but I've been living with this for most of my life," he reminded me. "There's also the fact that if I hadn't been cursed, if I had been able to shift freely, I have no doubt I would have become a serial killer or a mass murderer, if there can be any distinction between the two where a werewolf is concerned."
The casual nature of his confession churned my stomach. I wanted to argue, but I couldn't. If Sebastian had a dark side, Victor was the razor's edge itself. Just when I thought I knew what he was capable of, he would do something to test the limits of my comprehension and, at times, my faith in him. My love for him had never wavered, but there was no doubt in my mind that if he said he was capable of killing in cold blood, he meant it.
"Does Sebastian know this?" I asked, struggling to process what he had just told me. There was no point in pretending like it didn't bother me. The only time he seemed incapable of reading my deception was when he wanted to be deceived.
"Does he know that my soul is the same as the creatures that killed our parents?" he asked dryly. "No, I haven't exactly been waiting for the chance to tell him. Truth be told, I preferred not knowing for certain myself. Despite the frequency with which I do it, I don't actually enjoy lying to him."
"But if I choose the wolves, the vampires will be sent into the aether," I said urgently. "For all we know, you'll go with them."
"That's a risk I'm willing to take if it means saving our entire species," he said in a cool, detached tone. "Especially if it means saving you and Sebastian along with all of the people we love. It's a pretty fair trade, don't you think?"
"I can't choose if it means losing you," I said, growing increasingly frustrated with his cavalier attitude.
"Then you don't truly love me," he said flatly. "If you did, the choice would be an easy one. You of all people should understand what it means to be willing to make a sacrifice for the ones you love."
"I do, but --"
"Then respect my decision as I respected yours."
"That was different, Victor."
"Why, because it was you?"
I didn't have a comeback for that one. My throat was dry when I swallowed. "The moon said that I would have the chance to meet the earth when we performed the ritual to awaken the hybrid," I said. It was only part of the truth, but it wasn't a lie. "Maybe I can put in a request for her to spare you and Sarah." It was a selfish request, no doubt, but what was sparing the souls of two vampires when she was getting the hybrid prince's soul in the bargain?
"I suppose it couldn't hurt to ask."
"So, how are you planning to force my choice?"
He looked relieved at my unspoken consent. Arguing with him any further would only risk exposing the real plan B Selene had given me. I knew I was a hypocrite for being unwilling to let him sacrifice himself when I was planning on doing the same damn thing, but his plan was a longshot while mine had the backing of the queen bitch herself.
"By doing the same thing you did when you locked the wolf away, only this time it's your vampire half that needs to be suppressed," he explained. "The difference is, this time you'll get to keep all of your memories. You might even have an easier time shifting, which is all the more reason to go through with it."
"But I won't really be the hybrid," I protested. "Won't that affect the ritual?"
"It's just going to be for long enough for the moon to see that you've made a decision," he said. "If I survive, I'll reverse the suppression and your vampire half can return, but the choice you made will be set. If I die, well, I'm sure it will reverse on its own."
I swallowed hard. "You could just force this on me, couldn't you?"
"I could," he admitted. "And I will if that's what it takes to save everyone, but I had hoped we could do this together."
I took a shaky breath and nodded, reminding myself that he wasn't really going to die. I wasn't going to let that happen. The real sacrifice was going to be me, just as it was always supposed to be. "Alright. I hate this, but if it's the only way then I guess I don't have any other choice."
"Thank you," he said sincerely. "Now, I'd like to ask one more favor."
"Yes?"
"Don't tell Sebastian about this. If my soul really is counted among the vampires when the earth comes calling, let him think something went wrong in the ritual. Let him think I died as a wolf."
"Victor, Sebastian has changed a lot since he found out about my vampire nature," I began hoarsely. "I mean, he's practically best friends with Sarah. I think he'd understand."
"No. It's different with me," he murmured. "It's not about whether he'd accept me, it's about the fact that I don't want him to remember me that way. I've already failed him in so many ways. This is p
otentially the last chance I'll have to protect him. Please, give me that."
My throat too tight to speak at first. When I finally managed to nod, he relaxed visibly. "Thank you."
"I won't tell him, Victor, but you're wrong about failing him. I know things have been rough between you two, especially since I showed up, but for all the mistakes you've made, you've never once failed Sebastian," I said earnestly, reaching for his hand. "Everything you've done, it's all been to keep us safe. I know that and so does he."
He humored me with a thin smile and gave my hand a squeeze. "Perhaps. Is Arthur prepared for the ritual?"
I sighed, but I knew it was no use trying to get him back on track once he'd changed the subject. "The better question is, is Hunter ready?"
"You know I hate that we have to use him in this after all he's been through, but we don't have a choice," he said sadly. "Arthur was insistent that a proper hunter funeral requires the presence of a holy man, which would typically be a clan leader. Since we're staging the inverse of a proper hunter funeral, a priest of the moon is the best substitute."
"So we're using a werewolf priest to perform a ritual to bring back a reluctant hunter," I muttered. "What could possibly go wrong?"
"I'm sure stranger things have happened."
"I doubt it. We still have until the harvest moon for you to suppress the vampire half of my soul, don't we?"
"Yes, why?"
"Just wondering how long I have to enjoy feeling this way about you," I admitted quietly.
He gave me a patient but genuine smile. "You'll still love me after I suppress your vampire half, of that I have no doubt. It'll just be a different kind of love than you feel now."
I decided not to tell him that there wasn't going to be an after the ritual for me. Dying was a sacrifice I was more than willing to make, but going to my death as half a person was harder to accept.
"You're absolutely sure that you can't come to a decision on your own?" he asked. I had long since given up on torturing myself with the question of whether he was reading my thoughts.